Disclaimer:- I neither own nor own anything from this story. My plot is my own but the world of Harry Potter is the intellectual property of JK Rowling and associates.

oOo

A/N:- It has literally been an age since I've posted anything at all, and I promise that I will get back to my three stalled stories as soon as they don't remind me so closely of what I've been through in the recent years. Life has a habit of catching up with us sometimes, and I'm only just starting to feel up to posting again. I never really stopped writing, but a lot of what I did write during my absence will probably never make it to public view, and I did kind of simply disappear off the fanfiction sites completely.

Thank you to the people who noticed that my stories were not being posted and who sent me PMs and reviews concerned for my wellbeing. I'm fine, but working through grief is an on-going process, and now I'm feeling a bit more like myself I thought that a couple of new stories might be the way to go instead of trying to tackle the stories I'd been working on when things went bad.

The first chapter of this story is all about explaining a series of events through the span of several years to brings us to the point where this story begins, so bear with me as we rocket through some time to get to the second chapter. This is unbetaed, as I'm sure my betas have moved onto other things while I've been gone, so please forgive any short-coming I'll get back to the beta process when I can facilitate it. Of course, as is usual in my stories, the DH epilogue has been ignored and this is an AU story. Finally, it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, if you are not a fan of SS/HG just move on; this story is not for you.

oOo

Chapter One – Time Moves Quickly

"I'd understand if you were upset, 'Mione," Harry said, watching the happy new couple on their first outing to a Weasley family lunch.

Hermione shook her head. "But I'm not, Harry. Ron and I were never going to work. Look, we tried twice, and I guess I pulled him out of the funk he was in after the last Lavender episode, but we're very much not compatible as a couple."

"Mmm," Harry agreed, remembering some of the awful fights that his two best friends had been involved in when they'd tried to be more than friends. They'd been lucky to salvage their friendship at all after their spilt, but he was very proud of both of them for working at it again until it had become more or less normal once more. He came back from his thoughts, glancing at Ron and Lucy as Hermione spoke again.

"Besides, I'm busy with my apprenticeship with Minerva, and I'm perfectly happy to bury myself in the hallowed halls of academia at present," she told him, genuinely smiling at how happy Ron and Lucy appeared. "Ron deserves to find a witch he is completely compatible with," she continued. "And I truly wish him well."

Ron had met Lucy Messenger six months ago in Puddlemere. She had been a member of the National American Quidditch team who'd been involved in an exhibition match with the English National Team as part of the lead up to the next world cup, and Puddlemere United had hosted the game.

Lucy was about the same statue as Hermione, and with a halo of brunette curls. She also had brown eyes like the Gryffindor witch, but her lovely caramel-coloured skin and her sporty outlook set her apart from Hermione. Both Hermione and Ginny really liked her, and as she'd gotten to know her, Hermione thought the witch was perfect for Ron because she ate, slept and breathed Quidditch, just like he did.

Ron had met Lucy at the exhibition game because both he and Harry had been special guests at the match and the reception afterwards. Ginny had enthusiastically followed them, but Hermione had begged off going in favour of… well, anything else really. Nothing had changed for her where Quidditch was concerned, and she'd been happy to wave them off and get back to her books.

In fact, she was well and truly over Quidditch and her friends' obsession with it, and besides, she couldn't just leave Hogwarts whenever she felt like it, as she was a teacher now. Apart from all that, every time she appeared in public with Ron the papers still assumed that they were a couple, just like Harry and Ginny, and she was not having that. No offence to Ron, but she most certainly did not want to give that impression anymore; they really had been a true disaster as a couple.

Therefore, Ron having Lucy actually pleased Hermione, in fact, it pleased her a lot, and she smiled at them again. She was happy to have Lucy here, because as a result of that first exhibition match, an exchange of players had been brokered. Lucy was one of the players now attached to the English national team for six months, while her opposite number had gone back to America and was on the American team. It had all been very convenient for the budding romance between Ron and Lucy, who according to Ginny had been love's young dream ever since they'd clapped eyes on each other.

As Hermione was thinking about this Harry sighed and patted her hand. "You'll find someone else soon," he told her.

Hermione smiled wistfully at him. "Perhaps," she agreed, knowing that was pretty unlikely, especially being holed up in Scotland at a boarding school, but her answer seemed to placate him, and they went on to talk about his upcoming graduation from the Auror academy.

Hermione tried to listen to his prattle about everything that had been arranged for the ceremony, but her thoughts were already starting to wander, and centre—for perhaps the millionth time in the four years since it had happened—on the wrath of the man she'd saved the day of the Final Battle; one Severus Snape.

Mind you, lately her thoughts had not been about his displeasure, she had unaccountably started to think lately that if she did find someone to spend her life with, that a man like Severus would be a pretty good fit for her, despite their age difference. He was magically strong like her, academic, intelligent, and completely devoted when the cause was right.

Of course, she didn't mean Severus exactly, per say, just someone like him, because she knew that the Potions Master loathed her, especially after she'd saved his life. It was a no-win situation, if he hadn't hated her before she'd stopped his life from ebbing away—and she assumed he had, because he'd never had a kind word for her—then he most certainly did now that she had. But for Hermione it had never been a case of choosing to save him or not, something had told her that he was on their side, regardless of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, and she'd saved him because of that.

She sighed softly to herself. She'd been a fool not to know what would happen to him after her selfless act, but she was equally horrified with the thought that he might not have wanted to survive the battle. To think that his life must have been that miserable. The poor man! And with my interference I've relegated him to further misery… How could I have been so blind not to see what would happen? And he's so angry with me for saving him, and no wonder; I've let him down completely.

It was at this point that Hermione mentally shook herself and clamped down on her thoughts before they spilt over into her conscious mind as they often did. You could only write to a person so many times begging his forgiveness for your deed. He never answered her, but she guessed that she never really expected him to, and this time when she sighed there was a distinct tinge of sadness about it. She had to forget him and move on, and she interrupted Harry's happy chatter about his graduation. "Harry?"

The raven-haired wizard blinked at her before asking, "Yes?"

"How's the building project at Godric's Hollow going?"

If Hermione's question came out of left field he didn't say, but he smoothly changed topics. "You'll have to come and see; they've put the roof on this last week."

"Will it be finished in time for the wedding?" she asked, relieved that he'd gone with her new subject.

A grin arrived on his face, and his eyes subconsciously searched for his fiancé. "Yes, the builders have assured me that Gin and I will be able to spend our first night together as husband and wife there."

"That's great, Harry," Hermione replied.

The biggest wedding in recent British wizarding history was going to occur between Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley in just three months. Hermione was so very pleased that her best friend had found his happy ever after, and her eyes travelled over to Ron and Lucy. They appeared to be just as happy, and she wondered if both of her friends would soon be married and raising the families that they'd always talked about having.

The thought made her really think about Harry's comment that she would find someone, and she sighed. She knew otherwise, there had been no one she'd ever thought of in that way, well, except for a fantasy that was never going to happen.

xox

The next three months went by in a flash, and it was soon the Easter holidays. Hermione was ecstatic with her progress in her apprenticeship, especially now that Minerva was allowing her to teach the higher grades as well. She was also entering her final challenge as an apprentice, working hard on her animagus training to complete her transition and gain her mastery.

However, at this moment she was standing in the entrance of the church in Godric's Hollow without a care in the world adjusting one side of Ginny's magnificent wedding dress while Lucy smoothed down the other side. Arthur was standing back watching and waiting for Ginny to be ready before he escorted her into the church.

Lucy was now a fixture in their lives and even though Ron was yet to make it official, the likable American was being accepted as one of them.

"Ready?" Lucy asked the excited Ginny.

"Man, am I," the redhead all but squealed. "I've been waiting for this day since I was ten years old."

Hermione smiled at Ginny's comment, remembering how Ginny had always seemed to be the perfect match for Harry, but something shifted inside her as she did, and glancing at Lucy also agreeing with Ginny. Some of Hermione's carefreeness evaporated at this point as she wondered if she'd ever feel that same feeling of completeness that her friends obviously did.

However, regardless of her thoughts, Hermione happily participated in the marriage of Harry to Ginny, and it was everything that everyone had anticipated it to be. The social event of the year, but it also started something unseen in Hermione. It was like a small pebble irritating her on the inside, it wasn't really enough to cause her a problem, but just enough to know that there was something annoying her. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

xox

Over the next year, Hermione achieved her animagus form, and it came as no surprise to anyone that it was the same as her patronus; a playful otter. Of course, the gambolling little creature was not as dignified as her master's tabby cat, but Hermione was proud of herself nevertheless, and it meant that she was now a fully-fledged Master of Transfiguration, and Minerva happily signed off on her apprenticeship.

When the next school year started, Professor Hermione Granger would be starting it as the Transfiguration professor of Hogwarts. She was finally the teacher that she'd always thought she'd be, but she also realised as she received her certificate and hung it on her office wall that she wanted what her two best friends had as well, and that was a life partner and children.

Ginny had easily fallen pregnant, almost as soon as she and Harry were married, and she'd just presented her husband with their first child, a dear little boy called James Sirius. It had been as Hermione had first held this sweet-smelling little bundle of her friends' happiness that the little gnawing feeling inside her had made itself known just that little bit more.

On top of all of the joy surrounding the birth of little James, Ron and Lucy had just announced their engagement, and Hermione was definitely starting to feel left out. She sighed, and the sound carried to the ears of the approaching headmistress.

"What's wrong, dear?" Minerva questioned, coming to stand in Hermione's office doorway.

Hermione turned from gazing up at her certificate and looked at her mentor. "Did you ever wish you'd had children as well as everything else you've achieved, Minerva?" she asked, moving towards the sideboard for the pitcher of gin and tonic that she'd already mixed.

"Ah," Minerva replied sagely, sitting in her usual chair and accepting the drink Hermione levitated to her. "The children and marriage versus career debate…" and after her pause she sighed. "Yes," she answered plainly. "It was just that things never lined up that way for me… and then there was the wars…" she shrugged. "Being a career witch is never an easy choice, but it's not too late you know. There have been many Hogwarts professors over the years who have brought up families here."

"Mmm," Hermione replied. "However, before you can bring up a family, you actually need to find someone compatible to do it with. That just doesn't seem to be on the cards for me."

"Hermione," Minerva scolded. "You're all of twenty-five. How about we have this conversation again when you're fifty?"

"I doubt anything will change in that time," Hermione muttered almost despondently, and sighed.

"Don't cry defeat before the battle has begun, dear girl," Minerva cackled. "You have no idea; mister right might be lurking just around the corner."

"Yes," Hermione said, sighing once more. "I suppose you're right," and they moved the topic to Filius and his incredible flying parchments. The Charms professor was using the summer holidays to develop a new spell for the ministry to streamline their memo delivery system. The original spell was becoming a little dated, and the day before yesterday he'd tested his spell work through the halls of Hogwarts. It had worked really well, in fact, it had been such a success that Minerva had urged him to leave the magical transport conduits in place so they could use them for their own memo dispersions.

Then they turned their discussion to Hermione's current research project.

"How is the Arithmancy coming?" Minerva asked, glancing over towards Hermione's desk.

Hermione smiled. "I've decided to go with Septima to Venice next week so we can keep working on it and have a change of air as well."

"Excellent," Minerva replied. "How long will you be gone?"

"We'll be back mid-August," Hermione replied.

"And where is your new Master today? I was expecting her to join us," Minerva asked, a cultured eyebrow rising smoothly as if she knew the answer but wanted conformation.

Hermione's mouth twitched. "She'll be here soon, she said she had some last-minute packing to do. It's more likely that she's spending time with her Albert."

"I thought so," Minerva all but crowed. "Is he going with you?"

"No, he and his brother Isaac are heading to India I believe."

Minerva sighed. "It's going to be lonely here," she muttered, downing her drink in one gulp, and holding her glass out."

"You could go somewhere yourself, you know," Hermione commented, sending the jug Minerva's way.

"Pff," she sighed. "Couldn't be bothered. No, you younger people head off and do your best," she told Hermione.

Hermione saluted her and smiled. "Doing so," she said and took a drink from her glass, even though she knew that she'd spend ninety-nine percent of her time in the library. Well, as far as Hermione was concerned, she was enjoying herself by doing that, and she thought about the last time she'd spent time at that library. Contained within the walls of that library she'd found more than one scholarly wizard who—like her—needed to scratch an itch. She smiled to herself, no, academia is not the only reason to visit Italy, she thought, as memories of hot and heated stolen moments throughout the hallowed halls of learning played through her mind.

Of course, nothing ever came of any of those moments, because moments was all they were. However, they allowed Hermione to remember that she was a woman with needs other than intellectual ones, and that in England unless she wanted to dive into the muggle dating scene—which she did not—there was little room for dating. The English wizarding world was still filled with wizards who only wanted her as a trophy because she was a war hero. She scowled and filled her glass again. No, she'd confine herself to summer flings and keep her head down the rest of the time.

xox

The next few years flew just as quickly as the ones before them had, and Hermione achieved her second mastery, a mastery in Arithmancy. She hung her second certificate on her wall the day after she became an auntie again to little Albus Severus Potter, Harry and Ginny's second baby. Of course, their choice of name for their son, once again brought to the forefront of her mind the man she really had never forgotten, but was still very certain that she'd buggered any chance of ever having even a friendship with.

It was also the only time that she'd spoken to someone about her interest in the professor. "I'm pleased that you're honouring him, Harry," she said after her third glass of wine. She'd come home from St. Mungos with Harry and James after visiting Ginny and the baby the night after Albus had been born.

"Sorry, honouring who?" Harry asked kindly, as he walked into the room. He'd just settled James into his bed, and he was coming back down the stairs.

"Severus," she replied, taking another mouthful from her glass.

Harry's eyes glanced at the bottles of wine on the coffee table. "How have you polished off a whole bottle while I was reading James his story?" he asked. It was not an accusation, and was said jokingly, but he was concerned to see his friend's usual tight control wobbling at the mention of their former Potions Master's name. He watched her shrug one shoulder at his words, and he added seriously, "It was the right thing to do, both he and Albus were equally responsible for me still being here, just as much as my father and Sirius, so we had to name our next son after them," he said, but to his surprise he saw Hermione wiping at a tear.

She sniffed. "I did the right thing saving him, didn't I?"

Harry sat down beside her and lifted his glass off the coffee table. "Of course, you did. Why?"

"They put him in Azkaban, Harry. He didn't deserve that."

Harry's mouth tightened. "No, he didn't, and if I'm honest—as much as I respect Albus Dumbledore—I'm very angry that he didn't at least leave evidence of Snape's activities for the Order in case it was needed."

Hermione sniffed again and turned to her friend. "I've thought about this a lot, Harry, and I'm fairly certain that Dumbledore didn't leave evidence because he knew that Severus wouldn't survive that day," and she shrugged, her voice decidedly shaky. "Then I made sure that he did. I had so much respect for him, and I wanted him to enjoy a life after everything," and a sob escaped her. "There were so many things that I didn't understand."

"We were no better than kids back then," Harry replied, taking Hermione's hand in his. "Kids fighting an adult's war," and the bitterness in his tone was easily heard.

"I didn't know of his position in things, only what I'd presumed… and you know what they say about that…" she glanced tearily up at Harry, but then snorted at his uncomprehending expression. "You should never assume."

"Oh," Harry huffed. "Yes, I remember now. Sorry, my brain's a bit frazzled."

They were silent for a time, and then Harry said, "You never know, when he's released…" and he thought for a moment. "Which should be soon," and his brow creased in thought. "Ten years, wasn't it?"

Hermione nodded.

"Well, maybe you can make it up to him then," Harry finished.

They fell silent again, and Hermione thought about what her friend had just said. However, she decided that it was just not possible for him to change his opinion of her, and following that night she battled that little bit harder to forget him and she buried herself just that little bit deeper in her work as she gathered a degree of detachment for matters of the heart around herself.

To add to her personal disquiet, just after Albus was born, Ron and Lucy finally settled down properly. They'd never married—even though they were devoted to one another—because she was travelling a lot with Quidditch and he was busy working his way up the ladder in the department of Sports and Games at the ministry, but after a long engagement they finally found the time to marry. This had felt like yet another stab at Hermione, and her longing to have a man of her own intensified just that little bit more.

xox

However, after Ron and Lucy had been blissfully married for about a year something truly unexplained happened. Lucy went to a weekend conference in Paris, and when she came back there was something dreadfully wrong. It was like black had turned to white, and white to black for her. She started arguing with everything Ron said to her, taking it the wrong way and generally misinterpreting it, and nothing anyone said seemed to help.

Something had happened, and as the weeks wore on it became like watching a train wreck happening, and it was tragic to watch. Even though Hermione and Ginny were very close friends with Lucy, she closed them out. She refused to listen to them, particularly once they started asking her why she was being so unfair with Ron.

The friends covertly tested her for all kinds of spells and hexes, but none of their tests yielded any result, and it didn't help that they had an unwilling participate in their testing. The baffling part about it all was that they could see that Ron was innocent of what she was accusing him of, but she just didn't seem to be able to see what she was doing to him. Of course, this was where the conflict really took off because being Gryffindors, none of them could stand to see one of their own mistreated, and things spiralled downward until Lucy left after filing for a divorce.

This was the final blow for Ron, and he kind of went in upon himself. He took leave from work and drank himself into a stupor most days. It took all the Weasleys, the Potters and Hermione to care for him, but then, out of the blue she'd showed up. They'd all been astonished that Ron responded to her after the mess that had been their relationship during their NEWT year, but everyone remained silent, because as much as they disliked Lavender Brown, she appeared to be starting to pull Ron back into the land of the living.

Both Harry and Hermione treated Lavender's arrival with suspicion, especially after their friend's dramatically sour romance while they'd all been finishing Hogwarts together, but they had to agree that the witch did seem to have Ron's best interest at heart now. Even though there was something off about it all that they couldn't quite put their fingers on.

"The thing is though, Harry, she's got him to stop drinking so much," Hermione said. She'd joined Harry and Ginny and their boys for lunch in the park this particular Saturday.

Hermione, out of all of them, had more reason to dislike Lavender than anyone, she'd been the one hurt by Lavender and Ron's relationship at Hogwarts, and not just his relationship with the blonde witch in their sixth year either. As soon as they'd all been back at Hogwarts following the end of the war, Lavender had muscled into Hermione and Ron's burgeoning romance, and then Hermione had been left to pick up the pieces when it had all spectacularly fell apart.

Hermione had picked up the pieces with Ron because she loved him, but in truth she'd known by that stage that she'd only loved him as a friend and not as a life partner. However, none of them could work out what was happening now… Well, maybe Lavender had finally grown up… Maybe.

"Yes, but I don't trust her, there's just something about the witch that makes my skin crawl," Harry replied.

"Like fingernails on a blackboard," Ginny put in, laughing.

"Yes, exactly," Harry agreed.

"Anyway," Ginny interrupted, giving Harry a significant look as she watched James helping Albus on the swings.

Harry grinned and then leant over and kissed Ginny. "We wanted you to be the first to know," he told Hermione, still gazing at Ginny.

"Well, I'm over here, Harry," Hermione replied, a note of irritation in her voice. She really loved her friends, but for a while now she'd found it difficult to deal with the fact that they were so wrapped up in each other. She thought it was a little bit callous of them to be so demonstrative in front of her considering they knew how she felt about her own manless situation, but then she got over herself and remembered that they were lucky enough to be living their own personal dream, and she shouldn't be so bitter.

"Umm, yes," Harry answered. "Sorry, 'Mione," he said, turning to look at her. Then he smiled again. "We're expecting out third in six months."

The emptiness in Hermione stabbed at her, but she smiled and reached forward to hug her friends. "That's brilliant, guys," she told them, and she truly did hope that she sounded sincere. She swallowed hard and willed down the emotion that seemed to be threatening to engulf her at this piece of information, they were entitled to be happy, even if she was miserable in her lot.