Luke and Leia spent the night in a spare room in the Jedi temple. Obi-wan had convinced the Council to allow them to stay in the same room. The Jedi didn't normally like to have people share rooms. Especially not boys and girls. Luke didn't know how Obi-wan had managed this, but Luke was glad he had. He didn't want to sleep alone, and he felt safe with Leia.
There were two beds in their room, and plenty of space for both of them. They sat together on Luke's bed for a while, just talking about their families and their homes. Luke told her about how he would race around the desert recklessly. He talked about the kinds of chores he had on the moisture farm, and the different ways he avoided the tasks.
He thought she would call him out for being irresponsible, but she just smiled and told him how she had skipped an important political lesson just the other week. Apparently she was a princess, and yet she was just like him. A teenager who cared about their home and family, but wanted to do more with their life.
The story had been funny, but Luke was far less amused when Leia mentioned that she had been feeling uncharacteristically anxious that day. It was apparently something she had been feeling for weeks, but the day she had skipped her lesson had been during one of the first few days, when she wasn't used to these emotions she couldn't explain.
Leia had been feeling anxious because of him. Luke couldn't get a grip on his own emotions, and it had distracted Leia and made her leave her responsibilities. She didn't blame him for one moment.
"I'm just glad that you're okay." Leia said. "I've felt that someone needed help, and I didn't know who, or why, or how to find them."
Leia was nothing but relieved, but Luke felt guilty. Not only was he responsible for her feelings, but he didn't feel okay. He felt a little better than he had earlier today, but he wasn't fine. He was still exhausted. He was still overwhelmed by the Force swirling around him.
Talking with Mace Windu had helped him to recognize that he needed to let himself feel things, but it was hard. It was even harder knowing that he kept making it other people's problems, even though that's what he was specifically trying to avoid. He didn't want to be mad at his father. He didn't want to project his feelings onto others.
When he put a lot of conscious effort in, he could be a little better, but it was hard, and it was nowhere near enough. He was still mad, and he was still pulling Leia in against her will. And the thought of making anybody do or feel anything against their will made him feel physically sick.
Luke didn't want to think about these things. He wanted to sit with Leia, and talk about their childhoods before he had to worry about Force nightmares. He just wanted to be okay, just for one night. He didn't really want to go to sleep, but Leia didn't want to stay up. She was excited for tomorrow and wanted her rest. She gave Luke a hug and went to her own bed.
Luke laid on his bed and just stared at the ceiling, needing rest but not wanting to sleep. He could feel the Force around him so strongly that it almost felt physical. It was wanting him to let it in, and he didn't know if he wanted to or not. It made everything feel so strong. It was too much for him.
But when Luke tried to push the Force away he just felt an intense loneliness. He was pushing away the connection between him and his father. Him and Leia. Even him and Obi-Wan. The people that his soul was longing to let protect him. If he didn't have the Force, he didn't have the kind of feeling that he was looking for.
It was strangely isolating, to have a connection that you didn't understand to people that you barely knew. Luke wanted to let them in, but he had to rely on the Force to do so, and the Force was the reason why he was hurting like this in the first place.
Luke didn't want to sleep, but eventually he got to the point where he just couldn't keep his eyes open. He dozed off, and he had a nightmare that was different from any of the others up to this point.
Luke felt a strong sense of shame and a fury that was so overpowering that he felt like it was going to eat him alive. He still felt hurt, but it wasn't physical this time. It was all emotional and mental. Sure, during his other nightmares he'd felt used and violated, and it was a horrifying experience that he never wanted to go through again, but this wasn't much better. The anger he was feeling was so foreign and intense that he still felt violated.
He was back in the Tusken camp, but he wasn't in that single tent that he'd been stuck in for so long. He was outside, with the cool breeze of the desert running through his hair. But the night chill did nothing to calm his hot anger. Only one thing could.
Feeling like he had no control over what he was doing, Luke stalked over to another tent. There was a buzzing sound, a bit like a machine turning on, and then there was a bright glow. Things were a blur after that. Luke saw the glow piercing through the darkness. He saw Tuskens standing before him, and then they were gone. And he heard screams. So many screams.
Luke was blinded by rage, and grief, and a power that he couldn't contain. Everything was happening so fast that it was difficult to understand the details of what he was seeing. But he knew what was happening.
The Tuskens were being slaughtered. Every single one of them. It felt like it went on for hours, but at the same time it was over far too soon. Finally he went into the last tent where he saw a dozen or so very small Tuskens. Children. All of them younger than Luke was. Two of them weren't even wearing their masks. Luke had never seen a Tusken without a mask. He didn't think they would look so…humane. But that didn't stop Luke. With a slash of the bright glow, the children were gone, just as dead as their parents.
The Tuskens were gone. They couldn't hurt anybody anymore, but it didn't make the hurt go away. His anger was overwhelming and he needed to let it out, but there was nobody around anymore to punish and get rid of his aggression.
Somebody screamed. It felt like him, but it didn't sound like him. It was someone else who sounded so familiar, and Luke didn't know whether he wanted to comfort them or cower away.
Luke woke up with his ears ringing with the sound of the scream. It took him a long minute to realize that the scream was different now. It was just him. The scream devolved into pained sobs. He drew his legs close to his chest and just cried.
He could still feel the hints of anger lingering from his nightmare, and he hated it. That dream should have been satisfying. He'd seen the Tuskens that had hurt his grandmother, for he knew that was who that clan had been, get what they had coming to them. But as much as he felt justified, he also felt horrified, because did they really deserve it?
Multiple Tuskens had hurt Shmi. The whole tribe had allowed it to happen, but not everybody had actually had a hand in it. Some of the Tuskens were innocent. If nobody else, the children were, but they'd been punished for the crimes of their parents as well, and that didn't feel right. It wasn't fair.
But it wasn't fair what had happened to Shmi either.
Luke didn't understand why people had to hurt each other.
"Luke?!" The door was thrown open and Leia ran in. Luke hadn't even realized she wasn't there. She came towards him and threw her arms around him. "You're awake."
"Are you alright?" Anakin came in behind her. "Leia said you were having a nightmare, and you weren't waking up."
Luke's chest tightened as he looked at Anakin. He realized just whose eyes he was seeing through during his nightmare. He wanted to ask if what he had seen had really happened. He knew that Anakin had been there when his mother died, but nobody had told him what happened afterwards. Had Anakin killed the Tuskens? Did he regret it, or did he think it was justice?
Luke wanted to ask about it, but he was scared of what he might hear. And he was scared to talk about it. Why couldn't he just forget about this whole thing?
Luke hugged Leia back and tried to push down the pain and anger he was feeling. He couldn't say that he was fine, even though that was what the others wanted to hear. He really didn't know how to feel okay anymore.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Leia asked.
"...I saw bad people." Luke said. "They did something horrible, and I can't ever forgive them, but then I saw them being killed. All of them. Even the children, who didn't even do anything. They were all gone, and it's sad, but I also felt relief, because now they can't hurt someone else. But then I feel guilty for feeling relieved, because they may be bad people, but they're still people, and hurting people who hurt you doesn't make anything better."
Luke felt like such a child, and yet so old at the same time. He knew that he wouldn't hesitate to hurt or even kill someone if it was to protect or defend his family and people he cared about. But the nightmare was different than that. The massacre hadn't been fueled by protectiveness, but by rage. He'd hurt the Tuskens because he wanted to make them suffer, not because it would bring Shmi back and keep her safe.
Luke leaned into Leia's grip, and he couldn't help but look at Anakin. The man looked haunted. There was a hint of anger in his eyes, but also a deep pain that Luke could understand. Anakin didn't ask if he was talking about the Tuskens, or how he knew what had happened. Luke didn't ask why his father had taken things so far. They both knew, but neither of them understood. And Luke didn't think that either of them wanted to understand.
"Sorry for bothering you." Luke said. "I know you're excited about tomorrow…or today." He had no idea what time it was.
Leia hit his arm lightly. "You're not bothering me. And if you're not up for going-"
"No, no, I want to." Luke said firmly. He needed to get away from the Jedi. Despite making the offer, Leia looked happy that their plans were still on.
It was still a few hours before dawn. It would probably be smart to get some more sleep, but Luke was scared of having another nightmare. He knew he would be exhausted tomorrow, but he didn't want to sleep. Instead he just sat in his bed while Leia curled up against him.
Anakin looked like he was about to say something, but he sighed, said good night, and left. It didn't take long for Leia to fall back asleep, and Luke was alone. He could feel Leia's presence wrapping around him, even in her sleep. It was a comfort, but he still felt stuck and scared. It wasn't enough, but he didn't know what would be.
He felt like a spoiled brat. Back home, Luke had his family with him, and he'd been desperate for something more. Now, what he had with Leia, and this stuff he was learning from the Jedi, it felt like what he'd wanted before, but he still felt empty. Why couldn't anything be enough?
Luke managed to not fall back asleep. The hours passed slowly, but eventually Leia woke up. She looked refreshed, but Luke could feel her concern.
"Did you get any sleep?" She asked.
"I didn't want to try." Luke admitted. Leia gave him an unimpressed look, but he wasn't swayed by the look. It wasn't as strong as Aunt Beru's.
"You can't go on like this." Leia said, as though Luke didn't know that after all these weeks. She tried to convince him to take a nap at least, but Luke had made up his mind. He didn't want any more nightmares today. He'd sleep tonight, because he didn't have much of a choice, but until then he just wanted to pretend that everything was fine, even though it wasn't.
When Padmé arrived to pick them up for her lunch meeting, Luke was ready to go, and Leia was finally given a distraction so she wouldn't get on his case anymore. Luke didn't know why she was so excited for this lunch meeting. Maybe she just really wanted to see what politics were like before the galaxy had taken over. If Luke was even remotely interested in that kind of thing, he'd probably be excited too.
They left with Padmé. Luke's head hurt, both from fatigue, and from the energy of everybody around them. He could feel everybody in the Jedi temple, but while their presence was strong in the Force, it was also calm and quiet. The whole rest of Coruscant was the opposite, weaker, but also incredibly loud.
Shielding helped. Luke had been nervous about doing it again, even though it had been okay yesterday. He didn't want to be alone, but when he thought about what Mace Windu had said, and when he remembered the dream he'd had, he realized what could happen if he let his fear of being alone control him. He didn't have to lose his connection to Leia, but he couldn't cling to it. He didn't want to go down that path. He didn't know where it led, but he didn't want anything to do with it.
So Luke shielded his thoughts as much as he could, holding tight to Leia's hand as he did so, because he felt like it was the only way he could maintain his sanity.
As they made their way to the restaurant where the meeting was taking place, Luke wanted to enjoy the sights and be impressed by all the speeders flying around, but he felt too tired to really care. Leia had enough energy for the two of them. She was nearly dragging Luke inside, following Padmé.
There was a man sitting at a table. He smiled softly when he saw Padmé, standing up to greet her. "I hear you had a busy day yesterday." He said.
"It was certainly exciting." Padmé said. She looked at them. "Luke, Leia, I would like you to meet my good friend Bail Organa."
"It's a pleasure." Leia nodded and made a motion that was just shy of being a bow. Luke thought it was a little extreme, and probably some of her princess training coming out, but Bail smiled and returned the gesture.
"Likewise, my child." Bail said. Leia made an odd sound, almost like she was going to start crying, but she didn't look sad. Luke was so busy looking at Leia that he didn't greet Bail himself. Nobody said anything about it, and by the time Luke remembered his manners they were all already seated at the table and making small talk, and Luke felt a little lost.
They ordered food that all sounded unfamiliar to him, and he ended up just getting the same thing as Leia, because he didn't want to ask what everything was like a child would. While they waited for their food Bail, Leia, and Padmé talked about politics as easily as people talked about the weather, and Luke had a hard time following their conversation.
He didn't know about trade routes, or negotiations, or political compromises. He thought he could understand doing something questionable for the greater good, but then Padmé mentioned a trade that the senate was trying to arrange with the Hutt Clan, and Luke had heard enough. He may not know about politics, but he knew about the Hutts.
"Why would you trade with them?" Luke asked. "They're slavers." He didn't know that about all of the Hutts, but Jabba definitely was, and Luke couldn't imagine that the others were any different.
Was that how his father had felt about the Tuskens though? Some had hurt Shmi, so all of them were guilty by association? Was Luke just as bad as him? He felt sick.
"I wish it was as simple as that." Bail said. "I really do. But the Hutts have access to resources and territories that the Republic could really use. This can bring us one step closer to making the galaxy a better place for everybody."
Luke frowned. "Not for the people that the Hutts hurt with the new resources you want to give them."
"Luke, the galaxy is bigger than individuals." Leia said.
"Well, maybe it shouldn't be." Luke crossed his arms. "You know that Tatooine is no different whether the whole galaxy is run by a Republic, or an Empire." Uncle Owen had told him so time and time again.
"The galaxy won't be overrun by an empire." Padmé said. "The senate would never let that happen." And at the moment Luke didn't care, because that wasn't the point he was making.
"Luke, it's not the entire galaxy's responsibility to bring peace to any singular planet." Leia said, though Luke didn't know what the point of a unified government was if they couldn't do exactly that. "The people need to be responsible for their own planets, or change will never be accepted."
"Who do you think can make any changes?" Luke threw his arms out. "The slaves whose masters are just being given more power over them because the senate wants to make deals for the 'betterment of the galaxy'?"
"Luke." Padmé put a hand on his arm. "I would love to talk about these things with you. You bring up points that need to be considered. But I don't believe this is the time or place." Luke glanced around. They hadn't exactly been making a scene, but they would if this went on.
Luke took a deep breath. His head was pounding, and he didn't even know what he was thinking, let alone how to articulate it. All he knew was that he really wasn't hungry for fancy Coruscant food.
"I need some air." He muttered, pushing himself away from the table. He didn't know where he was going, or even where he was, but he wasn't given the chance to figure it out. His arm was grabbed when he'd barely set foot outside the restaurant.
"Luke, don't go." Leia said. "Come eat."
"I'm not hungry." He muttered. He felt like he was going to be sick.
"I'm sorry." Leia said. "We don't have to talk about politics."
Luke shook his head. "But you want to. You shouldn't have to avoid talking about it just because I'm too stupid to understand how the galaxy works."
Leia squeezed his arm. "You're not stupid. You just don't know politics the way I do. I grew up around this stuff. Padmé and Bail do this for a living. You haven't been exposed to it." She shifted slightly. "I can teach you, if you want."
Luke's stomach sank. "Maybe later." He didn't want to learn about politics, because it all felt like ignoring or using the little people, but he didn't want to say as much to Leia. He didn't want to upset her. "I just need some space."
Leia looked conflicted. She didn't want to leave Luke alone, but she also wanted to go back inside. She'd been enjoying herself before Luke had ruined things. He sighed and gave her a sad smile that was as much as he could handle right now.
"Go back inside." Luke said quietly. "Have fun. I'll be fine." Leia looked like she was going to disagree, but she smiled brightly and kissed his cheek.
"I'll see you later." Leia said. "Please, be okay." Luke nodded. She gave him a stern look and went back inside. Luke rubbed his arm and felt his smile fall away. He felt empty and lonely, and he didn't think being by Leia's side would make anything better.
For as long as he could remember he'd been desperate to get away from Tatooine. Right now all he wanted to do was go home.