Disclaimer: The Naruto Universe was created by Masashi Kishimoto, but throughout the release of the anime, various filler arcs were crafted with characters that are not officially canon. I have borrowed some of those characters as extras in this story.
Chapter 4: No Ship like Friendship
Tsubaki woke up in a camp with two wanted criminals gathering their belongings and a silent question burning in the back of her mind. How could anyone seduce Itachi Uchiha? The question would repeat itself like a broken record in her thoughts in the months to come.
Itachi's aura screamed "leave me alone!" louder than Juugo used to shout "kill!" She indulged in a moment of nostalgia as she recalled the unfortunate orange haired man. When he wasn't in murder mode, Juugo was actually mild-mannered. He had once attempted to offer her condolences for her situation before abruptly changing his mind and trying to kill her. Those had been the good old days, she thought, relatively speaking.
Turning her thoughts back to her current predicament, Tsubaki reflected that confidence was absolutely key to any seduction mission. It was impossible, however, to face Itachi and feel any real confidence. Luckily, or very very unluckily, she had years of experience practicing fake confidence in the face of Orochimaru's ever escalating evil. She also knew from experience that familiarity bred comfort. After all, over time she had become so accustomed to Kabuto that after beginning her missions under Orochimaru, she almost missed the twisted scholar. If even Kabuto, with no effort on his part, could become tolerable through inevitable repeated exposure, she reasoned that the same might apply to Itachi. At the very least, she hoped routine friendliness wouldn't hurt, even if it was artificial.
"Good morning Itachi-san, Kisame-san!" She waved enthusiastically and suppressed a groan at the way her muscles admonished her decision. She had healed the worst of her wounds from the day before, but sleeping on the ground hadn't helped the residual aches she felt.
"Morning Tsubaki-san," Kisame said. Itachi didn't reply. They were seated around a small cooking fire with what smelled like bacon. Tsubaki wondered where it had come from, but refrained from asking.
She needed to find out more about Itachi, but the Uchiha seemed to go out of his way to be cold and distant. Kisame, in contrast, seemed much more approachable. At least, as approachable as a sadistic shark could be. After casting another furtive glance at Itachi, she decided to take her chances with the sadistic shark. She drew close to Kisame. "Is your partner always this friendly?"
"He doesn't say much. Once he warms up to you, though, he still doesn't say much, nee Itachi-san?" At the end he raised his voice, making sure Itachi could hear him.
"Hn." Itachi didn't spare a glance for either of them.
With a conspiratorial grin, Kisame lowered his voice again. "It took me a while to figure it out, but when he says that, it means he cares. If you're around him long enough, you'll see he's not such a bad guy. Were you going to finish the bacon? I'll eat if you won't."
"I'll just have two pieces. You can have the rest," she said. Kisame's words confused her. His amiable attitude made him seem likeable enough, but at the same time she was convinced the shark's moral compass had to be upside down if he spoke so casually about how his mass-murdering companion was "not such a bad guy." She ventured another question. "How long have you two worked together?"
Tsubaki and Kisame continued to engage in friendly conversation as they left their campsite, trailing behind Itachi. The terrain was rocky with scattered trees, but the gentle inclines would soon become more challenging as they approached the mountainous portion of the Land of Earth.
It had been a long time since Itachi was involved with an escort mission, and he found himself on edge. He couldn't shake the memory of his helplessness as Madara Uchiha took the life of his teammate on their honorary escort mission of the daimyo. Very few people could claim to be stronger than Itachi now, and of those, the majority could be considered allies, including that same Madara. The unwelcome recollection of that mission gone wrong darkened his mood. He had only failed a mission once in his life. He would not fail again.
Kisame's loud questioning managed to pull his attention back to the present. Considering their charge was still very much a stranger, the shark's line of inquiry was surprisingly personal.
Kisame was truly enjoying himself. He couldn't remember the last time he freely exchanged banter with someone he wasn't expected to kill or otherwise dismember, and he considered the new girl refreshingly forthcoming. In his years of working alongside Itachi, he had engaged in plenty of one-sided conversations, but he had rarely gotten the level of responses he received from Tsubaki. He hadn't even needed to bribe her with dango. "So, Tsubaki-san, what type of guy interests you?"
Tsubaki felt the sudden urge to hug the monstrous man beside her. He was giving her more information than she'd dared to hope, and his question provided her a golden opportunity. She didn't know if he would take the bait, but judged that it was worth a shot. She cast a shy glance at Itachi's form ahead of them, then swiftly glanced down, as if embarrassed. Kisame's raised eyebrows told her that he hadn't missed the gesture. With a wry smile, out loud she said, "No offense, Kisame-san, but my interest in men is a terribly dull subject. I'd be more interested in discussing that sword you have."
A predatory light shone in Kisame's eyes. "Now that is an interesting topic. Why don't you see for yourself." He began to remove the sword from his back. "I'll let you inspect—"
"Kisame." Itachi's reprimand cut through the air like a kunai. For the first time in their conversation, he turned his head to cast a sharp glare in their direction.
"But Itachi-san..." The shark never finished his reply, as something else captured his attention.
At once, both Akatsuki members slowed their pace and came to a stop.
"What's going on?" Tsubaki asked.
"It's a summons. Kisame, stay here; I will respond to the call. Tsubaki-san, do not touch his sword." Itachi found a large stone in the shade nearby and sat down. He closed his eyes and remained still.
Itachi looked at the three rainbow holographic figures in the shadows around him. Pain, Konan, and Kakuzu were waiting for him.
Pain opened the meeting. "Itachi, your report."
"We are traveling with our assignment. Our destination is Maipo Village outside of the Hidden Stone."
"Excellent. That places you in the perfect position for this task. Han, the Five-Tails jinchuriki, is originally from the Hidden Stone and has been reported in the surrounding area. While you are there, capture him alive, and bring him to us."
"It will be done."
"Don't leave the girl unattended. The money from your mission is funding half of our current operations," Kakuzu said.
"I will leave Kisame to watch her."
"She may end up needing some form of protection from Kisame." Konan's voice held a note of warning. "He's not the gentlest escort."
"Your concern is noted. Is there anything more?"
Pain dismissed him. "No. You may go. Contact me once you have the jinchuriki."
When Itachi opened his eyes, it was immediately apparent that Tsubaki had disregarded his command. He acknowledged that Konan had been right to be concerned.
The girl leaned on Kisame's arm for support, but she grinned despite her weakened state. They realized he was watching, but only Tsubaki had the presence of mind to look guilty. Kisame's bearing was unrepentant.
"I have an additional assignment when we arrive at our destination. Kisame, you will remain with Tsubaki-san."
"I thought we agreed that I would take the first side mission." Kisame tried to cross his arms, which nearly caused Tsubaki to tumble to the ground.
"The task was assigned to me. And you said Samehada was hungry for action. It seems to have found some already, so instead you will protect our charge from further harm."
Kisame's eyes flashed with mischief. "Alright Itachi-san. But I think Tsubaki-san will need your help until her strength returns. She's better off out of reach of my sword." Tsubaki wasn't sure if Kisame was helping her out of a desire to irritate his partner or just plain boredom, but she couldn't complain. She was grateful that he had fallen for her deception hook, line, and sinker.
Itachi eyed her impassively. "Can you run?"
"I'll give it a try." After a few minutes of attempting to resume their earlier pace, it was evident that Tsubaki didn't have the energy to keep up.
Itachi stopped to face her. "You're slowing us down. Let me know when you're able to resume." He offered her his back and indicated she should climb on.
Tsubaki's eyes widened at his offer, and she approached tentatively. She told herself this was necessary even as she fought down a wave of nausea at the prospect of being close to him again.
"Don't worry, Tsubaki-san. He doesn't bite. Now me on the other hand..." Kisame winked at her as she wrapped her arms around Itachi's neck and climbed on.
Itachi's dark Akatsuki robe was soft, and he ran as if she weighed nothing. Her stomach began to relax. Their pace was smooth, and after several minutes, the combination of her exhaustion and the steady rhythm of his footfalls caused her head to droop. Once it came to rest on his shoulder, she fell soundly asleep.
Itachi kept his face expressionless as he assessed his situation. He was annoyed at Kisame, but any response on his part would be akin to admitting defeat and would just encourage him. He had accepted the suggestion that he carry the girl because he knew that Kisame's sword had a tendency to go back for seconds once it had a taste of someone's chakra. It was strategically best to keep the girl away from him. However, if their charge was going to continue to make reckless decisions, he was concerned that she would jeopardize their mission.
Just as he made up his mind to admonish her foolishness, he felt a weight on his shoulder. Her breathing changed, and he knew she was asleep.
A tight feeling settled in his chest. He hadn't carried anyone on his back since Sasuke. He recalled the day Sasuke's eagerness to impress him with his technique led to a twisted ankle and a piggyback ride home. Itachi had laughed. His joy in that moment, and every other precious moment with Sasuke, carried him through all of the darkness that followed.
A damp sensation on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts. The girl's mouth hung open and a trail of drool was working its way into his cloak. He sighed internally. He needed to wash his cloak soon, anyway.
Kisame watched the results of his intervention with pride and no small amount of amusement. It wasn't every day that he was successfully able to manipulate his partner. Actually, all of his prior attempts had been abject failures. By the time they crossed the final mountain pass before their destination, he was even more satisfied that he had gotten to enjoy the sight of the fearsome Uchiha with a girl slumbering on his back for the entirety of their journey.
Tsubaki stirred with the change in pace. Her face was sticky, and a horrifying realization jarred her into wakefulness. She had let her guard down—had fallen asleep—in the presence of one of the most dangerous men alive. And she had drooled on his shoulder. Her earlier gratitude for Kisame's meddling was replaced by true embarrassment. "You can let me down now." She felt her cheeks warm.
"Your destination is just ahead." He lowered her to the ground, and she backed away quickly, burying a feeling she didn't want to identify at the loss of his warmth.
"Thank you. I'm sorry for ignoring your warning." She mentally berated herself. She'd forced him to complete the most difficult part of the journey through the mountains while carrying her. Rather than make him more comfortable with her presence as she had envisioned, she suspected he was more likely to view her with mixed disdain and disgust. Drool had no place in her seduction mission.
"Your decision was foolish. Take more care in the future."
Although his words were severe, she sensed no malice in them. Neither did she sense any warmth.
She shoved her humiliation into a far corner of her mind as she worked up the courage to respond with a self-deprecating smile. "I'll be sure to. I've had enough of being a burden to last me a lifetime." She cast a glance at his shoulder. "I can wash your cloak for you. I can't believe I let myself—"
"That won't be necessary. Kisame, I'm going to follow my instructions from our leader. I will find you once my mission is completed." Itachi left in a flicker before either of them had the chance to reply.
Kisame approached her and whispered, "You owe me."
"And how exactly am I supposed to repay that debt?" With Itachi gone, the air seemed lighter, and Tsubaki fought to stifle the laugh that bubbled up at the idea of her shark-like bodyguard, a notorious terrorist, trying his hand at matchmaking.
"Get him to laugh, and I'll consider it done." His expression turned pensive before he spoke again. "In some ways he's older than I am, but there are some parts of life where he's really missed out. You'll never hear him complain, though. Hey kid, if you keep making that face you'll get wrinkles."
Her eyebrows had drawn together as she realized the depth of the relationship between her new companions. "You really care for him." It wasn't a question.
"Not in the same way you do, nee?" he teased, before changing the subject. "What's your plan in the village?"
"I need to get some new clothes. Then I'll scout around a bit and introduce myself to the clinic staff. They've been sending out requests for medical aid for quite some time. Once I'm in the clinic, I don't anticipate needing a bodyguard as much. It's mostly a concern when I'm on the road."
"I'll stay in the shadows while you're working. But if anything needs dismemberment, I want to be the first to know. I have a fair amount of experience with amputations."
"I'll keep that in mind."
The evening stillness quieted his mind as Itachi ran full speed in the twilight. Without the newest addition to his team weighing him down, he was able to push against his limits. Dozens of the tall, irregular rock formations characteristic of the central region of the Land of Earth flew by in a blur, and his legs burned as they fought against a steep incline.
He savored the illusion of freedom.
He didn't stop until his lungs screamed in protest. The coin-sized clot of blood that colored his hand when he coughed brought him back to reality.
Death would come for him soon.
No one who raises a hand against a comrade ever has a decent death.
His mind replayed his words from years ago. He had meant them as much for Kisame as he had for himself. He wiped the blood from his hands and focused on his mission.
His sprint had taken him around to the far side of Maipo Village. Sturdy houses rose high in the rocky hills above him, and street lanterns sparkled like fireflies in the darkness. They were glimmering beacons proclaiming the life within. He turned his back on the town and directed his attention in the direction of the Hidden Stone.
By dawn, he hoped to have an idea of the whereabouts of the Five-Tails jinchuriki.
First, he made an effort to understand Han's mind.
He made his way toward the Hidden Stone and began with his general knowledge of jinchuriki. Although most served as vital assets to the security of their respective villages, their power was universally feared. Fear easily gave way to hatred, and as a result, jinchuriki found themselves pushed to the outer edges of their villages. Just as the Uchiha had been. Such an arrangement bred conflict in a pattern as predictable as the weather in the Hidden Rain.
Han himself was a war hero for the Hidden Stone. The Hidden Leaf Academy cited him as one of the biggest threats from an outside village during the Third Great Shinobi War, and warned the young students of his devastating steam technique. During that particular lesson, while Itachi listened attentively, the girls in the class whispered about his haircut, one student picked his nose, two fell asleep, and the remainder held a competition to see who could hit the sleeping students in the head with a pencil. Their aim was terrible. None of his classmates understood the meaning of war, and none of them cared to try.
War changed people. It had changed Itachi's outlook on life in a matter of minutes. Those who lived it for days, months, even years could not be expected to return unscathed, even if they lacked visible scars.
War heroes looked nice on a pedestal, were pleasant to admire from a distance, and provided fodder to inspire future generations. But nobody wanted to get too close for fear of what they might find.
Which meant they became isolated. Remembered only when it was convenient. Itachi suspected he wouldn't find Han within the boundaries of the Hidden Stone Village, which meant he would start his search in the areas surrounding the village. The Tsuchikage wouldn't let his prized weapon travel too far out of his sight.
He stopped behind a snake-like rock formation, keeping a tight rein on his chakra. A low buzzing sound disturbed the quiet night, and Itachi scanned his surroundings for the source of the disruption.
Faint chakra traced irregular trails through the air across a wide area, and three individuals faced each other in the center of it all. He recognized the patterns of insect users.
He sent a clone to approach the trio, casting genjutsu on their insects as it went. It was thanks to Sugaru, Danzo's spy from the Aburame clan, that Itachi knew insects were susceptible to genjutsu. The knowledge was tainted with blood however, because it had been Sugaru's betrayal that disrupted Shisui's plan to avert the Uchiha coup without violence and led to his best friend's premature death. The Aburame had died in agony.
The insect users he stalked never sensed his presence. They were nowhere near the Aburame's caliber.
"He's no hero. He's a monster, and everyone knows it." A woman with short brown hair and a prominent forehead wore a bitter expression. Her eyes were set too far apart.
A much larger man with a dark beard and eyebrows that could have rivaled Might Guy responded. "The Kamizuru clan gave their lives for the Hidden Stone, yet rather than honor we are shamed and forgotten."
"We could always remind him of where he stands. No one would intervene, and they might even thank us. I'm sick of being treated like scum." This comment came from the third member of the group, a blonde-haired man with rectangular spectacles.
The woman spoke again. "Han specializes in taijutsu. As long as we keep our distance, he won't touch us. And if he does, the village isn't likely to support him."
"They aren't likely to support us, either."
"Shut up, Kurobachi," the bespectacled man said.
"Both of you, listen. We could catch him by surprise at his usual lunch spot tomorrow. Sting him with a sedative and he'll never know what hit him." The woman's too-small mouth curled into an unpleasant smile.
"As long as we don't end up like Daichi-san," Kurobachi grumbled.
The three malcontent ninja attempted to mask their presence as they made their way back toward their village.
Itachi followed unseen.
Author's Note:
Kisame surprised me by volunteering to jump on my ship and help it along. He told me he was bored and was interested in anything that might have a chance at breaking Itachi's stern facade. After cursing at me for not giving him a chance to fight anything, he even offered to buy more dango, but I told him to save it for later.
Until next time.