3

"Hello dear"

Ianto revisited the cringe and turned slowly, a smile plastered on his face as he faced the elderly lady who was looking down at his shoes with open disgust. "Hello Missus Hillman."

"Your toes are scuffed."

"No, they are suede. They are supposed to look like that, they are my walking shoes. I intend taking the path over to the creek to watch the school children float their little paper boats they made in class toady" Ianto replied calmly, the urge to say more making him hold his jaw shut firmly.

"Oh, you were… involved… with the children?" she sniffed.

"Well, the paper office provided the newspapers for it, and as I have done them every year with my niece and nephew's classes I was asked to help out as a parent help" Ianto replied.

"But you are not a parent"

"Actually, Jack is the father to a …"

"Yes, but you only get her once a month for a weekend, not nearly real parents" she replied as she let her nostrils flare and Ianto knew he was going to regret the next words that spewed out, but they were already on the 'Bitch Really?' train.

"I believe your two children were sent to boarding school from the age six onwards right? You only saw them for a week or so at a time… a couple of times a year. If you add it all up, we are with Alice more than you were with your own kids. The… what is he? Janitor at the hospital and your daughter is no contact with her wife?" Ianto let the words hang as several gasps were audible in the store, more than one person glancing around with open glee as the old cow finally found someone not afraid of her just because her husband is the mayor.

"Well… your office is the talk of the town, are you really repainting it pink?"

Ianto blinked and then before he could stop himself, he started to giggle, his hand covering his mouth as he stared at her, then spluttered "What? Why?"

"Well… because… well…"

"I support Breast Cancer Awareness?" Ianto said, unable to hid his glee.

She spluttered for a moment or two as a soft laughter wave stated in the store, Ianto's head high as she saw that he was not in the mood to be fucked with.

"My Party Events Agency is in eight different counties and each and every building is the same midnight blue and silver trim madam" Ianto said slowly like he was speaking to someone whose first language was not English.

"Well you don't have to be rude about it" she snapped.

"No… you don't" he agreed as he turned on his heel and walked to the counter, placing down the Jammy dodgers he had come for.

"On the house Mister Jones" the store keeper said with a shove of them towards him "And… take these jelly babies, I know you like them… you have a good day."

Ianto winked as he sashayed out of the store, feeling like a right twat but really… she asked for it.

The roars of laughter as the door swung shut, followed by the screeching of the old bag told him he had made the right move.

Who knows.

Another ten years or so, they might settle down.

Sobering thought, he chastised himself.

.

.

Ianto settled for bed with a feeling of loss. He had tried ringing Jack but had got no answer as the fucker was clearly enjoying himself. He was supposed to ring and say he got there but was probably at the bar already.

Their round of sex this morning before he left had been frantic and needy and Ianto felt a little ashamed of himself for being so fucking pathetic. Even asking him not to go. Had a bad feeling about this one. Sounded so lame. Had Jack finally had sex with him to placate him? Like… throwing a dog a bone?

Things would be fine… right?

Jack would be home in a few days and Ianto would tie him to the bed so he could never leave him here in the freaky quietness of this weird ticky-tacky world again. God, he half expected someone to ride a horse down the main street or something.

When Jack gets back they will have a nice meal and make love. Not have sex, not feel like it's a chore or something… no. Ianto knew he had to step it up too.

Ianto knew he should shower but the last remnants of Jack still lingered and the smell of sex in the sheets was decadently naughty as well. Ianto curled up to slumber with a strange ache deep in his gut, a longing or yearning for his man perhaps?

He better be back before that fucking Fete Committee starts getting put together for real because Ianto knew he was NOT going to lift heavy shit all over the place, not with his weak wrists. With that snarky thought Ianto drifted off, a soft snigger as he camped a bit in his mind, his hands flapping like a diva.

At least tomorrow was Friday and after he got back from the big smoke they could all do the pub quiz thing at the… hell no… Jack was not there, Gwen would try to horn into their group again and Andy was far too nice to tell her to fuck off, even if he was fucking her ex-husband.

Gods, small village dynamics, eh?