32

"Menopause!" Jack repeated.

"Yeah, right? Nuts!" Ianto flopped onto the bed and rolled about with raw anger "Like, fuckery fucking fuckfacery fuck!"

Jack stood looking at him for a while, then asked "So… not feeling sexy? Lover? No… I mean… it's been weeks… weeeeeks and… I was kinda…"

"What?" Ianto sat up sharply to swing and stare at him "You… wanna party?"

"Well… the funhouse is open for business, I mean… if you wanna take a ride in the loooorrvveeee tunnel…. I mean… if you don't wanna be a rider of the bouncy pole … ah…"

"Jack. Shit the fuck up and get your clothes of and for the record… I wanna be fucked! Now damn it man!" Ianto roared, then hoped like hell that his voice hadn't carried. He giggling of both of them reassuring.

Jack was naked in record time, his hands roving as he helped Ianto undress too.

But they didn't fuck like Ianto had demanded crassly.

No.

They made love.

And it was glorious!

.

.

"What do you mean… did I do something? Say something?"

"Ianto, this is not about you. Come on. This is boring for those kids, thy should be in school and we can do distance learning there" Rhiannon argued, her hand flapping in the direction of the kids in question.

"Holly is staying here with Laurie!" Jack cut into the conversation.

"Well… I guess that makes sense. But she and mica…."

"She and Alice are making good progress" Jack corrected "This is not a discussion or an agreement forming. Ianto and me already did that and we are keeping the kids together."

"So, from childless to three?"

"Rhiannon, if you cannot recognise Alice as our child as well, I guess there is nothing more to say" Ianto said as he saw the flash of anger on Jack's face. Why did she always do that?

"Well, Francine and Clive are heading to Cornwall to the fishing village to the east and I wanna go. Off grid, quiet and out of the way. Protected but the kids can have Wifi for their games and they can do their classes by correspondence. We need to go, they need normality and this… deal… is yours" she waved her hand around in a diva style motion that had Ianto's eyes narrowing.

"REALLLLY. And is a certain fat fuck meeting you there?" Ianto asked.

She did not answer him and he knew she had somehow been in contact with Johnny. Ergo… she was no longer safe as she was to keeping to the rules here. He could only hope she had been careful like she was taught.

"Fine. Go. You know the rules" Ianto turned away, beyond hurt that she might have put them in danger and she caught it.

"Hey! I used a burner at a café downtown… hey!" she grabbed for him.

"Rhiannon… when your kids were born who was there for you? Literally camped at your house for the first six months with each one?" Jack asked, totally stopping her in her tracks like he had hoped to.

She stood staring at him and then said softly "fair enough."

"Go. You've hurt him now, go and put space between you so he can sort himself out. Don't forget the hormone overload he is suffering right now. In a few days he will be more… calm."

"look I … yeah. Shit, I always had Da's gift of being a prick" She sighed.

"Take the white SUV, it is totally a soccer mum car and one of the most common ones out there, you will blend better. He will think of that later and panic." Jack advised and she smiled, nodding as she went to tell Francine and Clive she was going with the rest of them.

"Are you OK?" Jack asked as he entered the room the babies were all in, Toshiko asleep on the sofa with Owen watching over her.

"So, Francine and Clive, Marta and Tish and now Rhiannon and the kids, all taking off. Like… half the household" Ianto said as he sat watching their kids "The quiet will be weird for a while. Might have to deliberately make noise so these ones don't get pissy with the change."

"You know, it means we can look at maybe creating a nursery for them, a proper one." Jack pointed out "and Holly and Alice get their own rooms, unless they want to share."

"Is Lucia still happy to stay?"

"Yes sue is" Lucia answered for herself as she entered the room, baby bottles in a large pot of hot water.

The babies all suddenly awake and excitable. Everyone laughing as they started to feed them and change little bums. Holly and Alice, asleep in big bean bags in the sun coming in from the huge picture windows, missed the entire thing.

And there was nothing else to think about.

Ianto didn't really care about anything outside that room.

All he loved was there.