39
"Got one" Toshiko called out and Ianto slid around to look at the screen she was tapping with her finger, his hum soft as he canted his head, no doubt running through scenarios in his head. Finally he nodded.
.
.
The caterers had stopped next to the florist's van, deep in conversation as they pulled out trays of bonbons. As they closed the back doors and headed in the three men in suits slid around the side of said van and as one gloved hand reached for the door handle another man's hand shot out to seize and still it.
Then there was a loud double beep.
Andy looked at Ianto with huge eyes as Ianto hissed "alarmed"
"So what now?" Jack asked, his suit more fitting and perfectly gorgeous. He looked like he could be the groom and for a moment Ianto smiled lovingly at him before remembering what he was doing. Ianto pointed to the next van and Jack pulled a face "Flowers? Ianto… you know I hate lilies, I bet there are fucking…"
Ianto was already moving, the side door sliding open to reveal what Jack had been afraid of. Fucking flowers. Ianto stared at them and then at Andy who had come alongside "Fuck Toto. Maybe we should see what Rhysie Bear comes up with, eh? You hate white lilies, say they mean death. I didn't think they had those for weddings."
Ianto continued to stare silently at him and Andy sighed, looking back at Jack who shrugged.
As the van left the car park the flowers were left on the grass verge with the wind blowing their heady scent all over the wedding venue's parking lot.
Inside the van, Jack was winding down windows as he sneezed softly.
Bloody flowers.
.
.
They were parked on a wayside, Jack leaning against the Van with his ankles crossed, his head tipped back looking up at the lcouds, pondering the chance of rain. Typical.
"Here comes Rhys" Ianto said as he rounded the front of the vehicle to stand next to Jack, watching the truck as it rumbled closer. "Fuck. Really?"
It was pink. Bright feckin pink. Would stand out like a…. oh. Hang on. This could work. Hmm.
Jack turned to ask Ianto what the fuck they were going to do now, to find his look of satisfaction. Right. Pivoting. Ianto has already imbibed the change and cleared the entire thing for a reboot. Clever shit.
"Right" Ianto said as Rhys stopped to hang out the window and wage mentally "let's go."
Jack shrugged as he opened the door to get in.
Yep.
Ianto was still moving, so was he.
.
.
The fairground was easy to find, all those flags and little pointing signs helped with that and as the huge pink truck rumbled through the camp it certainly made an impression, especially as it ran over the ticket booth with them man inside barely leaping out with alarm.
"Fuck… sorry…" came the distant shout "No brakes."
Rhys then turned the wheel to head for a tent, his glee barely contained as he gritted his teeth "Here we go boyo!"
CRUNCH
.
.
The florist van drove sedately along in the aftermath of the Pink Truck Massacre as people ran about with alarm, shouting and waving their arms. There were horses running free and one of the concession stands was on fire. The men in the van all turned their head sin union with mouths open as they drove past a heavily tattooed man who was screaming as he had a meltdown, stomping his feet like a child.
"Huh. That's something you don't see every day" Andy said as he pulled back from between the seats to settle in the back of the van "Rhys can really sink his teeth into a job."
"Yep. Over there Cariad, the camping spot" Ianto turned to point and Jack swung the wheel.
The caravans were ahead and one looked very damned familiar.
.
.
Rhys was done arguing with the carnies, he saw the florist van's doors closing and knew Ianto had sweet talked the family into getting in then he heard a soft whistle, it was the signal. Rhys was soon clambering in to the cab of the truck "Hang on, let me back up."
Rhys had seen the black SUV approaching and with great glee and malice he slammed the big bitch into reverse, and as he saw those little heads bobbing ever closer with their stupid little red caps jauntily plastered to one side… he hit the gas.
Ianto glanced back as he heard the impact and grimaced "Shit… yes. Sinking his teeth in alright. And his truck's arse so it seems."
Jack was the first to start laughing as they sedately drove past the carnage with Rhys now putting the truck in first gear and shuddering it away from the SUV, the truck pig jumping forward as UNIT fell from the open doors to yell and cause more stupidity.
Weren't they lucky the Jeep was reinforced? No real casualties. Well… apart from by the heavily tattooed man who had now reached the crash scene. Rhys yelling as he pointed that they had told him to do it before stomping the gas and getting the fuck out of Dodge as Red Caps scattered with open fear, the man seemed to like knives.
That was fun.
I don't think UNIT enjoyed it as much as the carnival folk who soon closed in around them.
In the back of the florist's van the family sat in silent shock as Andy grinned at them from a crate of water jugs. Their baby was sooo cute.
Mission accomplished.