49
Ianto knew he didn't have a hope of shaking them off, only of leading them away from the planned access points… to try. Any attempt to approach their points now would burn everyone. There was little choice here… no, no choice… this is Ianto with backup plans up a wazoo… but… he would have to be very fucking clever with this dance.
His only true saving grace was that he knew full well that he danced better than Mahoney.
The café was buzzing with yuppies and wannabe beatniks all sitting there with their pulped grasses and designer coffees, no doubt the stuff from a cat's arse. He chose carefully, the booth in the window. The woman behind the counter not even glancing at him.
And waited.
The man who entered was not Mahoney but he didn't really expect it to be, ya know? Not protocol. Ianto knew their protocol and was expecting this. A patsy. Expendable if Ianto was too. This told Ianto several things, including the fact that everyone else in the line of sigh was also in danger as long as they were in there.
"My name is Mahoney" the idiot started off all wrong and Ianto waited for a moment or two, letting the man's earwig squawk as he was instructed how to act.
"Er… well hello Fuckface, I guess I am Marilyn Monroe" Ianto replied "If we are choosing people to emulate. Wait until you see me in a dress."
Silence.
Then the man's face jerked. Ianto grinned "Mahoney telling ya to stop feckin up eh? He always was a straight shooter, why he was second best in the class. Of course… I was the best. Always the first to fire and the worst shot, old Dead Eye.."
The earwig must have been loud because the man jerked in his seat as Ianto sighed then said "Look Fuckface. You do realize you are here opposite me because you are expendable, right? If the sharpshooter that has me in his sights is off by a hair when he pulls the trigger, it's your head that explodes right?"
"I don't know what you are talking about Doctor Jones… ah… there is no…"
"Harkness-Jones"
"What?"
"Look… you are never getting my kids. Never. You are spinning your wheels in quicksand, not mud. I not only know every move you are about to make… because it's my rule book you are playing by… but I know the things I did not write down when I wrote it back in the academy." Ianto smiled as he let it settle in "you know, I never wore a red one. I wore a green one. Yeah."
The man blinked slowly.
"I worked for her majesty, at her personal discretion. I trained your idiot man on the other end of that earwig and he was always so readable. I can read him when he is not even here." Ianto laughed now. "Patrick. That is what you told Gavin your name was. Showed him a photo of your family to reassure him that you had children and would not wanna hurt him. He noted the calendar in the background was dated five years ago. You know… if you want to try to fool children of such high IQs, you might want to have better props."
"What do you want?" came a sullen demand, all pretense of friendship gone.
"We want you to back off and we will leave you alone" Ianto calmly replied.
"You… will leave us… oh... really?" the man started to laugh.
"Look around."
The man did so and his laughter died as everyone in the café was staring back at him, their faces all blank and their hands all placed on their knees.
"Before I was a Green Beret… I must admit to being a Hoodlum. You are in our quarter boyo. Your men out there… not even one to ten of us here. This café, this street… MY gang is bigger than yours and we don't wear poncey red hats. We much prefer peaks"
"Sir?"
Ianto sat and let the man ask for help, then said to him softly "Go on now. Walk out of here and know that the marksman might take you out for just being in the way. I however… will go this way."
Ianto rose and walked towards the counter, then around it and out the back of the café Idris owned. There was a reason Idris had these, the family had these. Hoodlums need jobs sometimes if only to tell the government they make money legally… ish.
Ianto hated showing his cards… well… some of them at least but also knew that he had just thrown a hand grenade at them.
Mahoney had some explaining to do to his higher ups.
Like Ianto did.
God.
.
.
"So… a green one?"
"Yes. For the queen."
"So he knows you. Does that mean he knows us?"
"No" Ianto explained calmly as the kids milled around, "He only knew who I pretended to be."
"ahhhhhh"
"like him pretending… but he did it badly"
Ianto laughed, how could he not.
These kids were fast learners.