56

It was like a witch hunt but for Red Caps.

UNIT soldiers found themselves one of the most hated people on the face of the earth as Her Majesty roared from her castle for an explanation for this. Imagine, getting spat at in the street. Shocking.

The RSPCA got up in arms over the use of animals in the experiments.

Child Protective Services were involved, the Press had a field day and Ianto and Co sat back watching it all unravel. Some things they had not known came out, things came to a head and then came the children who had been locked up, still alive and released to authorities with great reluctance.

"Tadda. We ned to go to them" Zane said as he stood by Ianto's chair, his hand on his knee.

Ianto had been half-pie expecting this and he turned with all the arguments and excuses he had been compiling to look at the face of all those little ones standing staring back.

"Oh god. A Murder of Crows." Jack groaned and Ianto fonud himself smiling softly.

"Actually Cariad… it is an Asylum of cuckoos."

Roars of laughter from not only them but the children who understood what an asylum was and agreed.

"OK" Ianto finally said, "I need to make a phone call or three. Then… then Daddy and I will do what we do" Ianto kissed their son's head and then rose fomr the chair to cuddle and kiss all of the other little ones… well… sort of big ones now.

Zane moved over to his other parental and looked Jack in the eye, making Jack feel on the spot. He knew what the child wanted, and he nodded "I will let Taddy take the lead, yes. What you want, we will make it so."

Zane nodded and moved to the other children where they huddled together as if communing, something they often did.

The adults shared looks at Ianto walked outside for better reception, the first call to be made had to be to the only person who was above the law in this mess.

Mum.

.

.

The large SUV was like a seven-seater bulletproof tank rolling along, the one in front of them with secret service suits and ear pieces the same, the one behind slightly different in that it held men in caps.

They rolled into the compound and came to a stop, the door of the middle one opening to reveal a petite pale green pump being lowered to the foot stand, the lower stool then placed down for the next foot as the footman offered his hand with a deep bow.

"Mum" Ianto said with delight as Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II straightened up and smiled back, her short stature no mind as she exuded such strength of office that she easily filled the entire space.

"Ianto. Dear!"

Ianto bowed deeply accepting the gloved hand to kiss and then place his forehead to in reverence, even as the other hand reached out to smooth his hair back off his neck and she clucked her tongue "Look at you, like an unkempt pirate of something. Or will you be starting one of those rock bands? Hmmmm?"

Ianto rose to look directly at her, his grin wide as she sighed. "And a beard? Ianto, you know my opinion of facial hair!"

"Come on… you know your own grandfather rocked a beard!" Ianto laughed, puling her into a hug that was so unexpected that the guards and Green Berets all gaped.

Then Ianto turned to revel the small continent of children who had appeared from nowhere, all of them in a huddle with hands clasped together. All wore black clothing with the girls sporting coloured ribbons of their own choosing in their long plaits down their backs.

"Oh my. These are my cuckoos?" she asked, looking at the faces of the sweet innocent… aliens? Well… they were definitely odd. It was screamingly apparent that these were not JUST children.

"Hello Your Majesty, I am Zane. Taddy Ianto is my parental" Zane stepped forward "And I speak for the collective."

"The collective" she repeated.

"Sounded better than the asylum."

She blinked, then started to giggle, her smile widening as she looked past them to Jack and the others. "And these are the wonderful adults who love and care for you."

"They are pat of our clutch. Yes. We protect them".

Now the Green Berets laughed softly, looking at one another with open amusement.

Darius has his father's temper and did not appreciate the mocking tone of the laughter, especially as he glanced at his siblings and saw their own annoyance. He decided to stop that by simply raising a hand and all the Gren Caps flew into the air to land in the dirt at the men's feet.

Everyone fell silent.

"Stop it" Ianto said softly, "We agreed to be polite to our guests."

"They are not polite to us!" Darius said and Owen stepped forward to lift one of the caps up to look at it.

"Did… did they do that?"

Ianto sighed as the cap flew from Owen's hand to get snatched out of thin air by Laurie who said "Don't be a divvy Daddy Owen. Of course we can do that."

Zane turned to glare at them, a silent reprimand that had smiles wiped from faces and the Children all looked down as their leader silently rebuked them. He turned turned back to the queen.

"Sorry. We are not happy with all the killing and the meanies" Zane explained "We are scared."

"No doubt" one of the men said, scooping his cap off the ground to slap against his leg "the files we have read are… shocking to say the least. We do not condone the mass destruction of a species simply because it is not our own."

"But that is the thing… Commander Laurent. We sort of are. We are merely an advanced construct of the human condition. Our DNA is not alien, or unknown. We are 100% human." Zane replied.

"How did you know my name?"

"Taddy Ianto thought it. He was trained by you in basic. You were there when he was injured and taken off active service. You fought for him to receive full honours. He tells us you are a good man to be trusted." Zane turned to glance back at the others before adding "We accept you into the Asylum of Torchwood Children."

"Oh, you are adorable" the queen gushed "Just like Ianto."

And that was when the Queen Herself came to high tea.