Alice

She had given Bella the biggest hug before boarding their plane to Phoenix. Alice and Jasper pulled up to her place, and she, once again, was so grateful he agreed to live with her. She was in love with her little place. Centrally located, walking distance from her favorite tea shop and the marketplace, and it just had good energy. Her cozy home was about 1400 square feet of freedom and good vibes. Two stories, and every last detail she'd filled with happiness and goodness. Two jade plants bordered the entrance - everything there had symbolism and meaning - the lotus flowers meant peace and serenity, the iron figure of the hummingbird, a symbol of joy and living in the moment. The butterflies she had sprinkled throughout were mixed messages of transformation, about opening up to what the universe had to offer. The blue color of the walls invited peace, and the beige shade of her sofa and chair were a willingness to cohabitate and blend.

"What do you think?" she asked, squeezing his hand as he looked around at the brass buddha figure on the side table and the carved wooden tree of life symbol on her coasters. "Is it as you imagined?"

"Well, I don't see any beaded curtains or tie dye."

She winked. "Not yet." Of course it was a joke. She thought he was still trying to figure her out, whether she was more of a hippie or a witch. At heart, she was both. "Or black cats."

He walked up to her bookshelf and ran his fingers along her collection. "No grimoire, I see."

"I keep that hidden in my office along with my crystal ball and potions," she said.

Jasper laughed this time, and even though she'd meant it jokingly, he was not at all put off as he took her hands in his. "I don't know what kind of potion or spell you put on me, Alice, but I am totally yours."

With that, his lips claimed hers, and her heart sped up. He dropped his bag, and curled his arms around her waist.

Todd, their camera man, cleared his throat, and she waved away the extra person in her house. "Nothing to see here," she mentally told the person there to capture their private lives for the whole world to see. As their lips parted, her cheeks were flushed at the contact, but sadly, Todd was still there. "Welcome home, baby," Alice whispered to Jasper.

"Thank you."

It was apparent the man with the lens was not going away, and she continued to show Jas around her house, easily picturing him reading on the couch, or sitting at the desk in her office and working on the computer, and the easiest of all, peeling off certain garments of her clothing in her bedroom and other rooms.

"I like it," he said.

"Oh really? Everything? Just the way it is?"

"No, well, I mean, I can put up the shadow box of my badges…there…" He held up two hands to cover a section of the wall in the office that currently had a framed picture of a pink open rose. "And I have these Chinese swords that can fill that space…right…there." He pointed to a sacred geometry mandala that occupied a 4x4 space.

Her nose wrinkled, and he laughed as he kissed her on the cheek. "What? Are you not liking my ideas? This is our place now, isn't it?"

Alice lifted one shoulder. She knew she had to make room for him and his things, and while she had hoped he would be open and accepting of her style, she knew this was not going to be the case. But, swords on the wall. Really?!

"We can figure that out later," he said and then she noticed his hands had gotten a little fidgety, scratching his eyebrow, tugging on his shirt, rubbing his shoulder. When she saw these signs of withdrawal come on, she tried to distract him. Her intent was to make the patches last for longer periods of time…to wean him off them eventually.

"I have the most perfect idea," Alice said. "This will truly make it home for you."

He seemed to know where she was going with this. "Oh, really?"

"Close your eyes."

"Oh, I'm liking the sound of this already." Dutifully, he obeyed.

Her fingers went to work as they slid down the skin of his neck and down his back. Slowly, she watched as he reacted to each motion of her hand until she went for the button of his pants.

Just then, she heard the clicking sound of the camera being shut down and moved. Todd was leaving…thank God.

"See ya," he said.

Jasper opened his eyes, probably having forgotten the man was there, which was probably what they had hoped. "Yeah. See ya."

"Uh uh uh," she said, smirking and ignoring the click of the front door as it closed. "I didn't say you could open them."

He closed his eyes again, and she saw with success that his hands stayed at his side, still. Alice - 1, nicotine - 0. Then, with the removal of his pants, they gave her home the proper blessing.

Jasper

The same nightmare that had plagued him since he was seventeen years old left him tossing and turning, the skid marks on the road, Maria's voice yelling "no", his hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly, the way the falling rain was illuminated in the headlights, then a drill instructor yelling in his ear, the shots flying overhead and smoke, so much smoke…

His body jerked, and he had broken out into a sweat, looking around to get his bearings. With heart pounding, he realized where he was - in his new home, his angelic bride sleeping beside him, her gentle face glowing in the moonlight. They were in Arizona now. And somehow he hadn't woken Alice. Thank God, he thought. The craving was fierce now - it had been hours since his last patch, and lately he'd been able to go longer periods of time without it, but the stress, Maria's threat, the nightmare…it was all too much. His options: go get another patch or retrieve a cigarette - an emergency one that he kept hidden in his shaving kit. He needed something. Carefully stepping away from the bed, Jasper looked behind him to be sure she was still sleeping. The light that glowed in the room did not cover the area he needed to find his storage of patches. He grabbed his phone, and with shaky hands worked to tap the flashlight button, unsuccessfully, and when he heard Alice mumble, he froze for a moment. Sure, he could have woken her and she would have understood, wouldn't she? But at that moment he couldn't stand her seeing him weak. He was better than that, wasn't he? No, he was going to have to sneak out and grab his travel kit.

His breathing was shallow as he made his way out to her back patio that had a nice seating area with potted succulents all around. He sat on the step, flicking the dial on the lighter, and willing the flame to stick, holding the end of the cigarette up to it. Just a few puffs, he thought. Just to take the edge off… He lit it, put the stick up to his lips, and breathed in, allowing the familiar feeling to fill his lungs, his senses, his nerves. Bliss shot through his system as the relief pulsed in every cell. Yes…just a few more puffs…

"Jasper?"

He flinched when he heard her voice and rushed to hide it.

"You smoking?"

He stowed his arm behind him, which was pointless as he knew Alice could smell it in the air, and a deep sense of shame rushed through him. He kept his face down, not answering. Jasper knew he had been caught.

She peeked behind him and pulled his arm forward. "Why?"

Hanging his head, he didn't see how he could meet her eyes. She'd deserved so much better than this, so much better than him. "I'm sorry, Alice. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake."

"What? No. This isn't a mistake. But can you talk to me, please?"

"I'm weak, Alice. I needed it. I was going for a patch, but I didn't want to wake you up…I just…I'm sorry."

She covered the bridge of her nose with the collar of her nightgown, and this made him feel worse as he knew how the smell repelled her. In his desperation, he hadn't thought through how exactly he could pull this off. She was hypersensitive when it came to smoking.

"Hey, come on. In three weeks you've only messed up once, right? After decades of smoking…or have there been any other times?"

He was finally able to look at her. "No. This is the first time. It had been so long…and I couldn't sleep…and…."

"I should have put on a patch before we went to sleep," she said. "My bad."

Anger flashed through him, and he crushed the lit end of the cigarette onto the sidewalk. "Don't you dare blame yourself, Alice. This is not about you."

She took his hand in hers. "No, it's because I felt like I could push you to last longer, like I was helping you to quit, but I didn't know I was setting you up to fail."

He knew what she was implying - he heard it in the uncertainty in her voice. Had he made the decision then - that he was not quitting? Wasn't she more important?

"Alice…I don't know. This is hard. And you told me back then that it wouldn't be as easy as that - you knew."

"And you said you would do anything. Electric shock therapy, gum, hypnosis…"

Jasper smiled. He had told her every single word and meant it when he said it. But the euphoria he felt just a few moments before…the relief of giving in to the cravings of his body. Would this ever get easier? It had been no picnic, but it was manageable.

"I did."

"Did you mean it?"

"I did. When I said it."

"And now? You're not giving up on us, are you?"

His lips trembled. "I hate that I'm so weak, Alice. I don't know if I can quit. I really tried."

"Jas, listen to me. People fail sometimes…and then they try again."

Jasper knew without asking - he couldn't keep both - this amazing woman and the habit he knew was no good for him. "I'm ashamed of myself for how I feel. You deserve better."

"Let me decide what I deserve. I want you, Jasper Whitlock. I am falling in love with you."

His eyes met hers and his breath caught in his throat. The devotion he saw in her eyes seemed to confirm it. "Alice…I…you don't know what that means to me. You're too good. I'm not proud of things I've done…you are so good…too good."

"Jasper, we are meant to be together. For better or for worse."

"But, what if I can't quit?"

"Can't or won't?"

"I'm not sure."

"Then, I don't know. But, I know how I feel about you, and I can't just walk away from you. I'm willing to fight for us. Are you?"

Jasper had always been willing to fight and hated himself at that moment. He hated this ugly, selfish, tormented version of who he was. For years, he'd worked hard to keep that version of himself buried. Who are you, Jasper? Are you the sum of your past doings and nightmares or are you willing to be the man who is willing to receive love from a woman you don't deserve?

He turned away and a tear ran down his cheek.

"It's the middle of the night, Jasper. Why don't we wait until morning after coffee to have such a heavy discussion? Things will look better in the morning, I promise."

She was so good. How could he tell her no to anything after all this? Wouldn't he be letting everybody down? The show? Alice? The audience? Himself? He nodded, and she took his hands in his and led him to the bedroom. He didn't even want to get in the same bed with her, knowing he reeked of that stench.

"I think I'll just go sleep on the couch…"

"Why?"

"Because I stink."

She smiled then. "Nothing a shower won't fix."

He nodded. "Okay." It was the least he could do. He headed straight for the bathroom, and when he removed his toiletries from his bag, he thought she had gone back to sleep…until she opened the door with two fluffy yellow towels in hand. "Towels," he said as she hung them up on the shower door. "Thank you."

"You're so welcome."

And as he removed his shirt, he found to his surprise that she pulled her nightgown over her head and dropped it onto the floor. What was he going to say? That he didn't deserve any of this? Tell her to go back to bed and that this was all useless. When her naked form moved past him to turn on the faucet, those thoughts disappeared. She stood there beneath the stream of water, her skin so creamy and inviting. "Well?" she asked. "You just gonna stand there, or are you gonna take care of business?"

Business? The business of getting the smell off him, the nightmares, the crazy addiction. There's only one thing he could handle at this moment as he stepped inside and she lathered him up with soap, pressing herself against him, the water splashing off their bodies, was how lucky he was to have her. Could he deal with everything else? They would have to wait and see.

A/N: What? Did you think it was going to be easy for them?! lol. Stay with me for more, and thank you, thank you, thank you for reading. And so, so many thanks to those who follow, favorite, and a bazillion thanks to those who take the time to review!