CHAPTER 3: CONGRATULATIONS

…and then I went back home, to absolutely… nothing.

Oh, the rest of school went fine. We had some more fun just talking about whatever at lunch, the last classes of the day weren't so bad, I got to hear Eli say some more of his unfiltered speeches, had one more talk with Officer Birch and then I walked back to the apartment. Back up the stairs and through the door. No one was home. Just me, by myself without Mom to give me those death-grip hugs or the immediate call I'd jump on with my friends. I locked the door behind me, set my bag down and went to my room.

No more sounds of classroom chatter or the cheers from gym class. It was usually this time I would sit at the table and talk to Mom about my day, then she talks about hers but obviously that wasn't the case this time. Instead, I got dressed into some more comfortable clothes, did some homework half-hoping Mom or someone would come check on me but nope. Then I made myself a simple, but nice, chicken curry for dinner which of course was delicious. After that, I watched some videos, put on a movie and then I went to bed.

Was it a good day? Was it a bad day? I don't know. It was just… a day.

I woke up the next day and what do you know; same breakfast, same clothes, more school, more Eli, no close friends, no Mom… rinse and repeat.

Even the people I met yesterday. I just met them and learned their names, you know? Sure, they know me now but that's about it. Pretty sure I was just the 'he's chill' guy. I was kind of hoping to maybe grow a foundation here but I moved on from being the exciting new kid pretty quickly. People still say hi to me in the hallways, they ask me how I'm doing but that's it. Essentially just surface level small talk. At least Eli talks to me despite it usually being the weirdest things I've ever heard. Hunter hasn't bothered me since the day on the obstacle course. And I could always rely on Birch to greet me with an enthusiastic welcome which I had to admit was comforting.

Then, again, I return to an empty home. I sit alone, I work alone and I eat alone.

Maybe try calling one of my friends back in L.A.? Oh they're busy at the moment… nevermind. Guess I'll try another time.

It was pretty much like this for the rest of the week. Nothing good, nothing bad… just nothing. The only thing that was different each day was the gradual decrease in the number of people I felt I had beside me. Mom was gone. That's the reality I was reminded of every time I opened that apartment door… Mom was gone.

One day, coming home from school, I just sat at the dining table and just listened to the singular noise of the clock as it ticked every second. My hand moved to the pendant around my neck as I just stared at the seat at the head of the table where my Mom would sit. Staring at the empty seat reminded me of how I felt.

I could cry right now. I feel like crying. I wanted to cry… but what was the point?

No one would come to my aid anyways. Crying wouldn't do anything other than just make me more miserable. I have to keep it together. 'Stand at attention' as she would say. I have to keep going, for her. I can't ever break. I have to be like Mom, who had every reason to, but never broke.

She never broke…

"Ma! This is so cool!" I looked up at my Mother in awe. "You're officially a certified ass-kicker!"

She just chuckled and scruffed my hair which took me forever to get into perfect form. As usual, she stood high and mighty with her clean-cut army fatigues. Today was the graduation of her Ranger Class and no one could've been more proud than I am.

She pinched my cheek. "Your mother's always been an ass-kicker."

"But… now you get a patch for it."

"Ha!" She crossed her arms. "I don't need a patch to kick ass but I guess you're right."

"Pride! Come on, let's go!" a voice in the distance ordered.

"That's me, Arthur. I'll see you soon."

"I'll be in the front row taking pictures, Mom!"

"Make sure you get my best angles!"

She jogged into her formation with the rest of her fellow graduates whilst I had a permanent grin from ear to ear stuck on my face. It wasn't long until the ceremony started as everyone began to take their seats. The venue itself wasn't that large as the entire graduating class stood outdoors around a center field of tanbark. The audience watched from a little amphitheater just before the stage where they gave the speeches. I sat and listened to these endless speeches and monologues of the ceremony, all the while I was just scanning the uniformed crowd of rangers for my Mom. Once I saw her, that sense of pride grew even stronger. She stood, back straight, chin-up and eyes forward, just like she always taught me. She, plus one other, were the only women in the entire class and she looked tougher than anybody else around her. Watching her just made me feel strong, like I could do anything.

When she lined up to receive her class award I, with zero shame by the way, broke the ceremonial silence with a 'Go mom!' as the rest of the audience stifled a little laugh along with some of the officers and soldiers. My mom kept composure as she shook hands and received an award with grace. Once the formalities were done, the families were finally able to go down and hug the new graduates which is exactly what I did.

"Woah, watch the death grip there Art."

"You won an award Mom! Why didn't you tell me!?"

"Had to surprise you somehow."

"First Lieutenant Pride!" An older gentleman, who I quickly identified as the guest speaker of the event, walked through the crowd and over to where me and Mom were.

He wore a mighty uniform with all manner of medals and accolades. His face wrinkled as if it was stuck on a permanent scowl.

"Major General Hartwell." Mom saluted so quickly and precisely that I thought she was going to cut her own head off.

The General politely saluted back. "No need for that lieutenant, this is your day. I just wanted to congratulate you for this tremendous achievement."

Mom smiled. "It's a tremendous achievement for all of us sir, not just me."

General Hartwell seemed to almost ignore that comment which I thought was a little rude. After all, Mom was right. What she did was no different to what all the other graduates had to go through. Then he looked straight down at me. "Is this your boy?"

"Yes, sir, this is Arthur." She looked at me. "Say hi, Arthur."

"Greetings, sir." I saluted just like Mom. "I liked your speech earlier."

The general chuckled. "You should be proud son, what your mother has accomplished today is truly extraordinary, especially for someone like her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I blurted out, an eyebrow raised.

"Haha! I like this one, Pride."

"No, seriously, what do you mean 'someone like her'?" I repeated.

My Mom just continued smiling, squeezing her hand tightly on my shoulder.

"Oh, I just mean to say that, she has surpassed an obstacle not many of her stature can overcome. The true definition of a ranger!"

The General was smiling, Mom was smiling but I wasn't. I just didn't like what he was saying. It was like there was something he really wanted to say but didn't and instead hid behind these weird half-statements.

"No, I think you meant something el–"

"Thank you, General Hartwell," Mom interjected. "Your words are too kind. Now, if you'll excuse me, I wanted to show Arthur around."

"Of course, lieutenant." Hartwell nodded. "Remember, rangers lead the way!"

Mom proceeded to smile once again as she ushered me away.

"Mom, what was that?" I said.

"It's fine, Arthur."

"Don't you think he was being a little weird?"

"Arthur," she said through her teeth, "please, it's alright."

She continued to usher me through the sea of bodies, a mix of military greens and browns everywhere. It wasn't long before she was called out again, this time by a group of people. Instead of some old general or officer, it was what I assumed to be her ranger buddies including the only other woman in the class. They all wore the same uniform as Mom. They were beckoning her over to their little group huddle. She happily walked over, still holding me close as she embraced her fellow comrades.

"Well, ladies," one of them addressed the group, "we finally made it."

"Got that right, brother," another said.

"Just glad I don't have to recycle because I am not doing that shit again."

"Knock it off, Boon." My Mom punched him on the shoulder. "I got a kid here."

"Oh, my bad, Pride." He winced slightly as he rubbed his shoulder. "Sorry about that little man."

"How old's your kid?"

"13," I answered before Mom could.

"13!? He looks like he can take on people twice his age. What are you feeding him?"

"Not as much as what they feed you, Fats," remarked Mom as the whole group bursted into laughter.

"Alright, alright, alright," one of them cut through the noise, "let's give it up for Dana Pride. For managing to pull through with the Hall award. Unexpected but deserved."

What was with that 'unexpected', does that really need to be there?

The group resounded in a collective 'here, here' all except Mom who just smiled.

"Guess the armies gotta fill quota's these days," one of them joked, which only got a few laughs before he got kicked in the balls by the only other woman in the group.

"Shut up, Tanto," the lady said, "Dana's more of a man then you are."

Again, more laughter, all except Mom who was still just smiling. Everything about that exchange was off to me. It sounded like nice things but I still got that same feeling I got from the General, these covered words. It's just this way they have of treating Mom, it pisses me off. What about all the other soldiers that got awards, was that unexpected? What's so exceedingly remarkable about Mom graduating ranger school compared to the other 50 or so who graduated? I don't even know what's worse; what they're saying or the fact that Mom is doing almost nothing about it.

The rest of the event went on like this. Watching Mom have to listen to these same types of comments from her peers over and over while she just stood there and smiled. I heard stuff like 'Heck of a thing you've done at your age', 'It's a tough life you've picked, good for you for taking it on' or 'Can't believe you managed to balance all that on your own' whilst subtly gesturing towards me. It's like they were congratulating her on all the wrong things and that's all she got. It just annoyed me because even if you know it's wrong, what's physically coming out of their mouths is inherently bad so I can't just call them out. I'd start to get so angry that Mom would subtly squeeze my arm with such a firm grip that stopped me from moving. She knew what I was feeling but still didn't do anything.

On the drive back to where we were staying, I tried voicing these opinions to her but I was just left more confused.

"Just leave it, Arthur."

"What do you mean just leave it!?" I said in utter disbelief. "You can hear what they're saying right? It's bullshit!"

"Hey!" she started to raise her voice. "You better watch that tone, boy."

"Watch my tone!? Maybe they should watch theirs!"

"Enough!"

I watched as her face shifted. I've been scolded by her before but this was new.

"All I'm saying is," I continued, "why aren't you doing anything? I know you can hear it too. The sugar-coated words. The silent judgment. You could easily shut them up. Kick their ass! Hit them!"

"That is not what I taught you."

I threw my arms up. "Oh, no you're right, I'm sorry. Instead of standing up for yourself, you just sit there and smile."

"It's not that simple, Arthur. You're too young to understand."

"I understand better than you the shit coming out of their mouths," I muttered, which I regretted immediately as she shut me up for the rest of the drive. Safe to say she didn't want to hear anything else from me.

As you can imagine, the rest of the trip was dead silent. We finally reached the little local neighborhood where we were living, close to the base. Even as we got out of the car, Mom wanted nothing but absolute silence. She told me to hold my breath if I have to. Once inside, we unpacked our things and she told me to go straight to my room. I grudgingly obliged and was tempted to slam the door to my room shut but knew that would only make things worse. I sat on my bed, my blood still boiling as I kept hearing the same comments I heard all night. I guess I could understand why Mom couldn't just beat the crap out of them, considering they were her superiors and a lot of families were around. But the more I thought about it, the more I recalled these types of things happening more than just this once. People would tell her these backhanded compliments at school, on the street and even at family functions. And as always, Mom would just brush it off. I understand we can't just punch anyone that says something we don't like but there's gotta be a limit right? And it's so unfair how they can just get away with it because what they said wasn't 'technically' a bad thing.

Just say it straight up! God, it's so frustrating…

Anyways, I should probably apologize to Mom. I was still angry but that doesn't mean I had to be angry at her. I expected her to be in her room but when I checked, she wasn't there. Her stuff wasn't even unpacked. The house was dark, with the only light coming from the direction of the kitchen. It was strangely quiet as I crept through the house and made my way over to the kitchen. As I got closer, I could hear noises that I hadn't really heard before. I moved slowly as I peeked my head into the kitchen where indeed there was a singular light above the dining table. What I saw next was more shocking than anything else I had seen before. My mother sat alone at the dining table, her head held down supported by her hands. She was… crying.

I froze up, I didn't know what to do. I instinctively started to step back but made the mistake of putting too much weight on the one foot. The wooden floors did not take kindly to that.

"Arthur?" my Mom called out. I could hear her hastily fixing herself up.

There was no point in running to my room so I braced up and walked out to meet her.

"Oh hey, Mom," I managed to say. "I just came down to grab something from the fridge."

"Oh, yeah."

I could see her usual stoic face pushing through, doing its best to conceal the puff in her eyes. It pained me to see her like this so I did my best to act like I had no idea what was going on. I walked past her, doing my best not to make any eye-contact.

"Ooft, yeah. We definitely need to do some grocery sho–"

"-Hey, uh, thank you for being there with me today."

I stopped, closing the door to the fridge as I turned around.

"Of course, Mom. Sorry for being such an asshole at the end." I smiled, hopefully covering up the mix of emotions going on inside of me.

"Don't. It's alright. You didn't do anything wrong."

I sighed. "It's just the way I could see them talk to you. They were just so–"

I was interrupted mid-sentence as Mom took me into a full hug, squeezing my rib-cage as hard as she could.

I hugged her harder. It was the best feeling ever.

"Congratulations on the graduation, Mom."

"Thanks, Arthur."

My mother is strong. She is resilient and tough like no other. Without her, I don't know who I would be. She was there for me and always protected me from anything she could… but who was protecting her? Who was going to be there for her? So, that was the day I made a promise to myself…

That was the first time I saw her break…

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The noise filled the room without missing a single beat as I continued to just sit in silence. Still alone, no one to talk to, no one to hug. Nothing.

I could no longer help myself. Giving in, I slumped over the table, burying my face into my arms.