"I'm happy to tell you Casey, everything looks perfect", Dr. Goldsmith smiles at me.
"That's awesome", Cappie grins beside me, as we both look at the ultrasound screen.
"You're a perfect 28 weeks. She's measuring just right. The only thing is…", Dr. Goldsmith laughs. "She will not stop moving around long enough for me to get a picture".
"I can feel her moving", I laugh, my belly out.
"Well…", Dr. Goldsmith sighs, smiling. "In cases where we've got a really active baby, sometimes if you go walk it off for a bit and come back we can get pictures."
"Okay", I nod and she hands me a towel for my stomach.
"Other than that, everything's been going okay?", she asks
"Yep, just usual tiredness and a bit of back pain and discomfort trying to sleep", I say.
"Are you starting to get everything ready for her? I know it probably seems like a huge undertaking. But you don't have to have everything perfectly ready, often babies tell us what they need when they get here", She explains.
"Well we just did a ton of shopping on the weekend", I laugh. "Basically bought every single baby thing around. And we just moved into a new apartment".
"Wow, that's exciting", She smiles. "You two are such a sweet couple. I love seeing you every few weeks".
I look over to Cappie then, my mouth open, no words coming out though.
"Thanks doctor. We're happy we found you", Cappie smiles, always seeming to know what to say when I don't.
Dr. Goldsmith smiles at us.
"Well maybe go try that walk and come back in 10 or 20 minutes? See if she can stay still long enough for me to get a picture. If not we'll just have to do it next time".
"Okay!", I nod. "Let's hope".
Cappie helps me off the reclining chair and I take my purse from him, going out into the lobby and then into the crisp fall air outside.
We walk for a few moments, the sun low in the sky making it slightly hard to see. We walk outside the medical buildings on the grass.
"So what should we talk about on this little walk of ours?", Cappie grins at me.
"What about how annoying your kid can be?", I suggest jokingly.
"Don't say that too loud!", Cappie jokes. "Besides if she can't sit still she probably gets it from you".
"What?", I scoff, slightly offended.
"It's not a bad thing, you're just always up doing something. Anxiously puttering, can't sit still", He explains his reasoning to an annoyed face from me.
"Okay, I'll suggest a different topic", He laughs. "I was thinking… we could talk about revisiting the not sleeping in the same bed together thing".
"We could revisit it but it's not going to be a different answer", I give him a look then, smiling annoyingly, it giving me pleasure to frustrate him like this.
"Why not? Worried you're gonna get pregnant? Oh wait, already happened", He jokes gesturing down to the way I'm walking already slightly out of breath now that it's been a good 5 minutes of walking around.
I cross my arms to glare at him.
"What, did you not like the other night? Because I for one thought that it was awesome. Made even better by the fact that we're in our own place now", He smiles. "And by the sounds you were making, not to mention the fact that you were begging me to keep going, I didn't think you hated it so much either".
He gives me a look then and I surrender, looking down for a moment in a smirk.
I never want to hurt his feelings. Ever. But I was just trying to do what was right.
The problem is… I didn't always know exactly what that was.
"It was amazing for me too", I assure him. "Believe me. We don't have to stop doing that. We should just probably keep our own spaces too. If we sleep together every night and full on share a room together then we're no different than a couple".
I explain my reasoning to him and he thinks it over in his mind and then seems to accept it with a nod.
"Well alright. I'll take it. At least we're not going completely no contact", He gives me a smirk then but I still sense some seriousness in why he brought this up with me. "What if… we make a bet?"
"A bet?", I laugh.
"Yeah", He grins mischievously. "Since I'm pretty sure I know you better than you know yourself. Meaning I don't think you're gonna last a week alone in your bed for the whole 7 nights".
I give him a playfully offended look in surprise to his proposition.
"Oh really?", I put my hands on my hips.
"Really", he confirms with a smile.
"Fine. Then you're on", I shrug like it's no big deal. "What do I get if I win?"
"Hmmm", he thinks it over. "What do you want?"
I think about it and then settle on something.
"I want a rocking chair", I say simply.
"Okay grandma", he scoffs.
"It's for the baby", I give him a look. "It's this pink one I saw when we were out with Beaver and Katherine. It's gorgeous. And I could sit in it and rock with the baby. Feed her, spend time with her".
I explain my reasoning to him to which he nods up and down, us both smiling thinking about it.
"Alright you're on, if you win I'll get you the rocking chair", He nods.
"What do you want?", I ask then. "Not that it matters because you're not gonna win".
He laughs and thinks it over before giving me a sinful smile.
"Believe me, you caving so we can sleep in the same bed together will be enough of a prize".
I give him a look, my lips pursed together with my arms crossed.
"I'm gonna win", I shrug like he's not getting under my skin.
"Whatever you say", He gives me a look. "So we're settled then?"
He stops walking and puts his hand out for me to shake which I do with a laugh, this whole bet crazy to me. But also kind of fun.
"Yep. You're on", I say like it's no big deal. Like he shouldn't even think that I'll struggle to get through 7 days without him in my bed.
"Well I guess we should go back in then. Check on our progeny", He jokes and I shake my head at his craziness.
"Yeah let's go".
Back in the office I really hope the baby has calmed down. Because I didn't want to come back again, I just wanted to get the 3D pictures already and see her better. I wanted every snippet of new info about her I could get.
"Alright let's see how she's doing now Casey", Dr. Goldsmith smiles as I walk back into her room, getting back up on the reclining seat.
"I can still feel her moving but I think it's a bit less then before", I say, pulling my top up again.
The ultrasound jelly goes on freezing, and coupled with the cold outdoor air I was just in, I'm practically shivering.
"Ah okay", Dr. Goldsmith smiles. "Here we are, she did stop jumping around".
"Awesome", Cappie says, squeezing my hand, feeling relief rise in my chest.
"Perfect. Do you guys see her here? This is her profile", Dr. Goldsmith explains and we both lean in to look.
"Wow that's….", I can't even finish my sentence so Cappie does for me.
"So cool", He shakes his head in awe. "Look at her little nose! It looks like yours Case".
"We'll have lots of pictures you guys can take home today", Dr. Goldsmith smiles at us. "Here we are moving over to her hands".
"It looks like she's holding her hands together", I laugh.
"Yeah it does, doesn't it? Looks like she's clapping almost", She laughs and moves back up to her face. "Often we can see babies blink but it looks like yours has her eyes closed. Maybe that walk tired her out".
We laugh then, me and Cappie looking to each other.
"She has such chubby little cheeks", Cappie's eyes look wet with emotion. "And perfect lips".
"Yep, she's pouting at us", Dr. Goldsmith laughs.
I'm too overcome with emotion to say much of anything.
"I can't believe she's real", I manage to croak out, probably stupidly since, of course she's real. It's been 7 months of her being very very real. But this is the most real version I've seen of her, where she actually has distinguishable features and looks like a real live baby.
I start to cry then, embarrassed that I am, but I'm hoping Dr. Goldsmith sees this often and that I'm not here looking like a basket case.
Cappie notices and scoots his chair closer to me, both of his hands encompassing one of my own to comfort me.
"Yep she's real. And these next two months of your pregnancy are gonna go by pretty fast, I'm sure. You'll meet her in no time", Dr. Goldsmith says, still staring at the screen, luckily not noticing the way my body wracks out quiet sobs.
"Yeah", I nod, unsure what else to say because the thought of her here in person both scares the hell out of me and excites me to no end at the same time.
"Well that was hands down the coolest part of your pregnancy yet", Cappie smiles, looking at the one photo that had best captured her face as we sit in his car in the parking lot.
"I know right", I say excitedly. "Like I talk to her all the time and I feel her all the time but it's so weird to see her real features. Like look at that, I actually grew a nose and eyes and hands and feet".
"And you did all of it with fruit loops and ice cream", Cappie jokes, referring to cravings of the week.
"Yep", I laugh.
"So…", Cappie lifts up the photo to hold beside his face. "Do you see any resemblance?"
"Sure Cap", I giggle and he smiles at me, I think happy to have gotten a laugh out of me after he had to cart my fragile tear stained self out of the office.
He looks down at it again for a good while before speaking.
"No, I think she looks like you", He smiles softly. "Perfect features".
If he's trying to put on a line he's doing a good job but that's the thing about him that always got me. He was never saying things like this to get me to fall for him or to be fake cheesy. He always really meant them.
I smile back at him then, heart racing in my chest.
"Well we should probably get back, I have that night class and I've gotta pass the final so I can say that I've graduated for this little girl", he laughs slightly, handing me back the photo and putting the car into gear, pulling out of the parking lot.
"Cool, I think Ash is gonna come over tonight. I know she'll want to see the new photos", I smile.
"Nice, I'll drop you off at the apartment and leave you girls to have some alone time", He smiles. "Want to go get something for dinner first?"
At the mention of food I'm practically drooling.
"Yes!", I say a little too excitedly and he looks over to the passenger side to give me a smirk, making me have to play it cool. "I mean if we have time yeah".
Me and Cappie are currently at a restaurant in downtown Cyprus near our apartment. I'd come here once or twice before over the years.
When we get to our table Cappie pulls my chair out for me which makes me scoff slightly since me and him were much more pizza and a movie than expensive wine and 40 entrees. I remember Rusty had brought Jordan here at the beginning of senior year when I had awkwardly tagged along.
"So… what are we doing Cap?", I look at him suspiciously.
"What, can I not just bring my lady to a nice restaurant without getting the third degree?", He jokes with me and then surrenders. "Okay fine… I thought we'd celebrate seeing the baby. If you want to go to Olive Garden or Subway or something we can do that instead?"
"No, no", I pat his hand that's on the table, not wanting to make him feel bad. "This is good".
I smile at him then.
"A little too coupley for you?", He laughs. "Don't worry if it'll make you feel better we can pretend this is a business meeting".
I snicker at his joke.
"It's not a date, and it's not a business meeting", I laugh and think to myself. "It's whatever you call a dinner with your roommate slash father of your child slash occasional friends with benefits".
"The greeting card companies would have a heyday with that", Cappie jokes. "But I hope you know even though we're occasional friends with benefits, we are full time friends".
I smile softly at him then.
"I know Cap", I nod and open my menu.
"Hmm it looks like they don't have chicken fingers and fries on this menu", Cappie fakes disappointment.
"Or pepperoni sticks", I give him a faux frown with a laugh. "I should probably get a salad because it's healthy for the baby".
I sigh slightly and close my menu.
"What about you don't think about that tonight? I mean we've seen the kid, she looks fine to me, I don't think she'll spontaneously combust in there if you eat some fettuccine alfredo", He gives me a look. "Because I know that's what you really want".
"Okay fine", I nod with a laugh. "Yes that's what I want. And then I want a good long look at the dessert menu".
"Well", he grabs our menus. "Your wish is my command".
"Alright", I giggle.
25 minutes later and the worlds most yummy looking fettuccine alfredo is set down in front of me.
Cappie had gotten a steak.
"Oh my god", I moan after taking a first bite. "This is so good. Mmm".
"You making those noises is dangerous for me", Cappie says with a laugh so all I do is intensify them to mess with him. "Very funny."
He shakes his head at me as I practically make out with the pasta on my fork.
"You're gonna be a mother soon woman", He jokes with me making me laugh.
"Dammit you're right", I take a deep sigh in. "Cap I'm scared I'm gonna be really bad at it".
"You're not", He says plainly, shaking his head.
"How would you know?", I look at him matter of fact.
"Because you already love her", He shrugs. "Because you've been maternal ever since I've known you. You took care of girls at the sorority, you've taken care of me one or two times".
He laughs at that last part.
"A newborn baby is very different than an insecure pledge who's worried about how big her feet are", I joke to a smile from him.
"You're gonna be fine", He puts down his fork to reach under the table and put his hand on my knee comfortingly.
"You're not scared about being a dad?"
"Hell no, I'm petrified. But…", He thinks to himself for a moment. "I know that if I have you by my side I think we can figure it out".
I think about his words and can't help but smile.
"We'll figure it out together, I promise", He looks deep into my eyes and I relax a bit then.
"Okay", I nod up and down and we eat some more in comfortable silence. "Thanks for bringing me here Cap, this is really nice".
"You're welcome. I thought we deserved to celebrate this baby", He smiles. "Even though I know it's been stressful and…. unexpected".
He scoffs then and I blush.
"Yeah that would be accurate to say", I nod.
"But I'm finally letting myself be happy about it. Being away from my parents who I could tell were really disappointed in me, and not letting Evan's comments bother me… I'm actually really excited to meet her and start this new life together".
"Me too", Cappie smiles softly.
"I was thinking this weekend we could try to set her crib up", I suggest.
"For sure, I was thinking I could do it", He offers. "You can sit pretty, stay away from the manual labour".
"Okay", I laugh. "Sounds good".
I finish my pasta and put my cutlery on my plate.
"Now let's get you that dessert menu", Cappie grins at me knowingly.
Because of course I was still hungry.
"Casey this is so cool!", Ash beams looking at the photos laid out on the coffee table.
Cappie had dropped me off at home and then went off to his night class.
"I know right, look at her little face, it's so cute. And so weird… to know that all this time I've actually been making something in here", I point down to my stomach and we laugh.
"I know right", Ash smiles. "So cool. Makes me want to have one too".
"No way Ash, do not go this route", I point a finger at her seriously. "Wait until you're in a committed relationship with a good job, maybe a house. Dogs, picket fence in the suburbs, all that stuff".
"Okay", Ash draws out the word and laughs. "Someone has to be the responsible one I guess, I just never thought it would be me".
"How's the new job going?", I ask her.
"It's not bad, I like working for professor Clarissa doing various marketing jobs for people", She smiles. "It's working out pretty good and I get to stay here with everyone that I know, and most importantly with my best friend and goddaughter".
"You're right, I'm so glad you came back from New York", I pout. "I don't know what I would do without you".
"You'd be okay", She assures me. "You'd still have Cappie and Rusty".
"I know but I need to have my best friend in my life, someone who hasn't once called the KT house their home", I joke and we laugh.
"Well I promise, we'll always be in each others lives no matter what", She grins. "Pinky swear".
She puts out her pinky and I offer up my own as we shake on it.
"Pinky swear", I confirm with a smile.
"So what outfit are you gonna bring her home from the hospital in?", Ash asks excitedly.
"Hmm I guess I hadn't really thought about it yet", I shrug.
"It's gotta be something cute and fashionable for her debut", Ash points out and I laugh.
"I'm pretty sure post labour, sleep deprived, drugged up me isn't gonna care so much about that", I laugh. "But I'll do what I can Ash".
"Good! I'm hoping to be there on the day anyways", Ash smiles.
"Aw that would be so awesome!", I hug her.
"It's probably like a 4 hour thing anyway right? If you had to estimate?", Ash says seriously and I have to laugh at her.
"Ash", I shake my head. "Some people are in labour for like days".
I giggle at her.
"Really? That seems… excessive", She turns her mouth into a downward twist.
"Yeah tell me about it".
"Well I'll try my best to be there for some of it at least, hopefully most of it, but if it goes into days, I'm sorry I may just have to leave you in the hands of Cappie", She laughs.
"That wouldn't be so bad", I shrug with a slight grin, not meeting her eyes.
"You are so crushing on him!", She mocks me.
"No I'm not!", I defend myself. "We just had a pretty good day together that's all. But nothing is going to happen between us right now…. It can't because I have to win this bet between us".
"A bet?", Ash is amused.
"He doesn't think I can go a whole 7 days without me either getting into his bed or inviting him into mine", I roll my eyes.
"Well… can you?", Ash scoffs and I look at her, taking offence to her low judgement of my self control.
"Of course I can Ash. Jeez I don't depend on Cappie, I can last 7 days without being in a bed with him", I say sternly.
"Whatever you say", Ash gives me a look. "I just know your track record pretty well".
"Whatever, it's not gonna happen, I'm not gonna let him have the satisfaction of winning this", I cross my arms.
"Alright Case", Ash gives me a look. "Well hopefully you don't mind but I'm gonna have some wine".
"Enjoy it for me", I laugh as Ash gets up to pour a glass from the wine she'd brought as I sip from my juice box. Cappie had got them, said that I should be having as much vitamin C as possible.
I actually missed him pretty much right now. I was glad Ash was here to keep me company since most nights me and Cappie watched TV together before going off to our separate rooms.
Our separate rooms, that had to stay separate. No matter how many times I laid in bed alone thinking about the night we moved in and feeling my body literally ache for it to happen again. Just one more time.