Chapter 18- Have You Ever?
It had taken all of Nathan's strength to leave Charlotte's side again.
What was she been about to say to him before they were interrupted by Elizabeth?
Well, it did not matter now.
What did matter was Nathan had an important conversation he had been putting off for far too long with his niece. After leaving Charlotte in the infirmary, Nathan returned to his house. Allie jumping up from where she had been sitting on the couch, when Nathan walked in the door, to run over and wrap her arms around his body.
"How's Ms. Thompson?" she asked, her face buried into Nathan's chest.
"Charlotte will be okay." Nathan had reassured as he rubbed Allie's back gently before proceeding. "Allie, we need to talk about some things."
The color drained from Allie's face, but she obliged as Nathan turned the girl, directing her back to the couch to sit down. He then told her about everything. About Charlotte's past. About Beck McEntire. About the abuse and attack. About the baby and Nathan's marriage proposal. About how Charlotte said no, not because she did not care for Nathan and Allie, but because right now she didn't feel like she was healed enough for them. Then Nathan had told Allie about how Charlotte was asked to resign from her job and that was the reason Allie had seen her packing yesterday. Finally, Nathan told Allie about Charlotte losing the baby.
It was a very adult conversation, one Nathan had not been sure if he was prepared to discuss with Allie, but he realized his little girl was growing up quickly and she needed to know and be prepared for the harshness of the world they lived in. Nathan reassured Allie that he and so many others in this community would be there for her. Just like they had been for Charlotte. Allie should never be afraid to ask for help if she ever found herself in an uncomfortable or dangerous position in the future. Although Nathan did add, people should know better than to mess with a Mountie's daughter.
Today though was a new day.
Elizabeth's wedding day. A small pang of hurt found a way of creeping into Nathan at the realization. Not because Elizabeth was marrying Lucas, but more so it was a reminder that Charlotte had said no to his marriage proposal.
It hurt Nathan, what Charlotte had said a couple days ago. But he understood where she was coming from, even though he did not agree with it. He had been honest. All he needed was her. Even this broken version of her. Nathan knew Charlotte would battle the ghosts of her past for some time, but he believed his and Allie's love would be Charlotte's best way of overcoming the hurt she had experienced.
Maybe Charlotte's life was like a forest after a wildfire. Her pain burning like smoldering flames, blackening and taking away life. But with fresh rains and warmth, new life would bound forth again. Stronger and more alive than before. Nathan in that moment vowing to be Charlotte's rain and warmth. Making sure her life came back fuller and happier than before.
"Faith." Nathan greeted Dr. Carter on the boardwalk outside of her office. "How's Charlotte today?"
"Really well. I think she will be able to go home tomorrow. Joseph stopped by a little while ago and he is with her now." Faith answered. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you stepped in for a few minutes before the wedding."
"Thank you, Faith. For everything you have done for Charlotte. I appreciate it more than you may ever know.
"I think I know," Faith said as she reached out to touch Nathan's arm in friendly reassurance before leaving and making her way towards the church.
Nathan gently pushed open the door to the infirmary, interrupting Joseph and Charlotte whose hands were clasped together and heads bowed in prayer. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to…"
Joseph and Charlotte's heads raised as they looked up at Nathan.
"I'll just wait outside or come back later." Nathan said nervously as he turned to head back out the door.
"No. No." Joseph spoke up. "We were just finishing. I need to be getting to the church. Otherwise, Minnie will be sending out a search party for me."
"Thank you, Joseph." Charlotte said as the man got up to leave.
"Charlotte. I am so happy that you decided to stay. Hope Valley is a better place with you in it." Joseph smiled at Charlotte and then Nathan. Winking towards the Mountie as he continued out the door.
"You're staying?" Nathan's voice could not hide the hope he felt in that moment.
Charlotte nodded her head, "When Elizabeth came by yesterday to apologize and talk, she also admitted to lying about the letter to Mr. Landis asking for my termination."
"I'm happy for you Charlotte and I'm happy for the families of Hope Valley." Nathan smiled. He was also happy for himself and the opportunity to get to know this wonderful woman more.
"I like the serge, but this look suits you as well, Constable." Charlotte said as her eyes racked over Nathan in his tweed vest and trousers.
It was now Nathan's turn to blush. Speechless from Charlotte's candor.
"On your way to the ceremony?" Charlotte asked.
"Unless you want me to stay. To keep you company."
Charlotte continued studying Nathan before responding. "As much as I would like that, I think it's more important for you to be there today. I don't want Elizabeth or Lucas looking back on this day and assuming the reason you were not there was because you still have feelings for Elizabeth and wish it was you, she was marrying instead."
"I don't love Elizabeth like that Charlotte."
"I'm not sure if she knows that."
Nathan thought over what Charlotte had just said. While Elizabeth had told him a year ago she could not be with him, her actions since then and especially those aimed at Charlotte just days ago showed there was truth in what Charlotte was saying.
Nathan took a deep breath before turning to leave, "Okay. I'll go."
"Nathan." Charlotte's voice stopping him from opening the door. "Thank you for saving me."
"Thank you for saving Allie."
Their eyes locked. Complete understanding flowing between them, before Nathan broke the silence and continued. "I haven't had a chance to tell you how sorry I am about the baby. And for leaving in such a rush the other night. That is the first time in my life I have walked away from something that scared me. And I never want to do that again. I hated the feeling of leaving you like that. You didn't deserve it."
"Nathan, you can't blame yourself. I know you cared for the baby, even though you were not the father. You were willing to be their dad. Without a single reservation. But you need to know, strong people are allowed to be human too. And Nathan. You are the strongest man I know. No one will think any less of you for showing your emotions."
Nathan knew he should be shocked by Charlotte's statement, but she always had read him like an open book. Without even saying a single word, she had a way of lighting up his darkness. He only hoped that Charlotte could feel the same way about him. If not now, at some point in the future.
Charlotte swallowed the lump in her throat before continuing. "Nathan, I meant what I said the other day. I care so much for you and Allie. I need to let you be free. You no longer should feel an... obligation to me."
Nathan paused a moment before responding. "Charlotte. I waited three years for the wrong woman. I will wait a lifetime for the right one. And whether you believe it or not, you are the right woman for me. So, whenever you are ready to let love in. I'll be here."
Nathan smiled as a surprised look crossed Charlotte's face at his admission. Turning the doorknob he disappeared into the afternoon sunshine, leaving Charlotte to marinate on his words.
Nathan took a deep breath before knocking on the door.
"Just a minute," the voice called from within.
Nathan heard light footsteps come towards him across the old wood floor, before the door creaked open and Elizabeth peeked her head out.
"Nathan! What are you doing here?! I need to head to the church at any minute."
"Elizabeth. I know this probably is not the right time, but we need to talk. Before you go to the church."
Was that a hint of hope that crossed Elizabeth's face?
"Come in." Elizabeth said as she stepped back, allowing Nathan further into her room over the saloon, before closing the door behind them.
"Elizabeth, this probably isn't proper for me to be telling you these things on your wedding day. Minutes before you are to be walking down the aisle. But I have to say this before you get married."
"Nathan-" Elizabeth began to interrupt him.
"Elizabeth. I appreciate you coming to apologize to Charlotte yesterday and letting her know that you did not send a letter to Mr. Landis. But I feel like your actions the other day require us to talk about this. A year ago, you made a decision that did not just affect the future of your life, but also mine and Allie's. Although there have been moments since then I felt remnants of what I thought might have been, today I wanted to say thank you. Because if you had chosen me, I wouldn't have been free to fall in love with Charlotte."
Elizabeth had turned to look out the window. Not willing to show Nathan her true reactions.
"You once asked if I had ever lost someone so close to my heart it tore me apart. To which I answered, 'not yet'. At that moment, I will be honest I was thinking about you. When you ended things a year ago, while yes there was hurt. I was able to move on. But the other night, when for a moment I thought Charlotte was dead-" Nathan's voice breaking remembering Charlotte lying motionless on the ledge. "I didn't know if I could live anymore. And it was at that moment I knew…"
Elizabeth turned slightly to face Nathan now, a lone tear trailing down her cheek.
Nathan chose to continue, "Because you and Lucas are my friends, I should attend your wedding. But I can't. Not because I do not support you both, but rather there is someone more important to me. Who at this moment, needs me to be there for her."
Elizabeth again returned to look out the window, slightly nodding her head in agreement.
"I wish you nothing but happiness Elizabeth." Nathan said over his shoulder as he removed himself from the hotel room and made his way down the stairs.
Waiting outside the Queen of Hearts was Allie.
"Are you ready?" she asked, smiling up knowingly at her uncle.
"I am." Nathan replied, reaching down and taking Allie's hand as they made their way down the boardwalk.
Nathan did not knock before slowly opening the door in front of him and peeking into the room.
She hadn't noticed him partially entering the infirmary, so Nathan took the opportunity to take in the sight of the woman he loved before him. A glowing light seemed to land on her. Soft curls framed her downcast face. Grey eyes focused on the hands upon her stomach.
"Charlotte," Nathan intimately whispered, Charlotte's eyes shooting up at him in response before quickly moving to the clock on Faith's desk.
"What are you doing here? The wedding…"
"I talked to Elizabeth."
"You did? Why?"
"Because she needed to know that even though I support her and Lucas, there was somewhere more important for me to be right now... With someone else, who is more important to us." Nathan said as he opened the door further to reveal Allie standing beside him.
Charlotte's whole face lit up, "Allie!"
Allie brushed past Nathan and without hesitation, leapt onto Charlotte's bed and into the woman's awaiting arms. They held a long embrace without even exchanging a word between them while Nathan made his way to stand closer to Charlotte.
Finally, Allie and Charlotte broke their hug, but neither one was willing to completely part. Instead, Allie moved to sit beside Charlotte on the bed, cuddling into her side, while Charlotte wrapped her left arm around the girl, pulling her closer. Instinctively Allie reached for Charlotte's hand that was laying upon her shoulder. Not willing to let go of this woman who had come to mean so much to her. A knowing grin formed across Charlotte's lips as she leaned in and pressed a long nurturing kiss to Allie's forehead.
Nathan's heart swelled at the sight. These women were his world. There was nowhere else he would rather be at this moment.
Just then Charlotte turned her eyes up to Nathan after feeling his gaze land upon her. A nervous smile crossed her features as she looked down slightly. It was then Nathan felt it.
Charlotte's petite hand had gently reached for him. Her graceful fingers folding into his palm. A slight squeeze of reassurance. Her thumb lightly brushing across his knuckles. She had chosen to do this. To reach out to him. The fast thud of her heartbeat syncing in time with his through this single touch. They needed this connection. This moment to reassure each other they were no longer alone. Safe and so completely natural together. The shape of Charlotte's hand fit Nathan's as if every joint and fine muscle and soft ligament had been designed for perfect alignment. Charlotte said nothing with her voice and everything with her caring gesture.
Nathan had wondered for so long what it would feel like. Charlotte's touch. And this was not even close to what he had imagined. It was more. So much more. Their hands interlocked was symbolic of where they were at this moment. Incredibly present. Their broken pasts seemed irrelevant. They were a family now and whatever happened in the next hours, months, or years did not seem to matter as long as they were facing it together.
Holding hands. The simplest act for any other couple, signified so much more to these two souls.
It was the start of the Grant family's love story.
The beginning of their beautiful journey together.
How was that for a "season finale"? Hope it was a little more friendly to #TeamNathan than "The Kiss" episode of Season 8…
My earlier promised "Christmas Movie" is coming up next, but like WCTH there may be a little "drought" period as I've been on the road most of this week for work and have not been able to write the new chapters yet. I know how much you all have appreciated the almost daily updates, but it may be a couple days (I'm hoping by Saturday or Sunday) before I can post the first Christmas chapter.
Hopefully, this latest posting will hold you over until then…