*First off… I LOVE this chapter. We all know that Nathan got the short end of the stick in Season 8, but poor Allie. She really had it rough and because of that I actually envisioned the end scene of this chapter, long before really any other concept for this little writing adventure came to me. The Heart of a Mother…
Second, from some of the reviews I know a few of you are concerned that this "Christmas Episode" will wrap up my writing, but if you are enjoying this story, please don't worry. I have many more chapters swimming in this head of mine. At least another "tv season" and "Christmas special". So, hang on tight, we are just getting going on the good stuff…
Chapter 21- Heart of a Mother
Hope Valley was bustling in preparation for Lucas' annual Christmas festival this weekend. The school children were decorating the tree at the center of town. The vendors were constructing their various booths. Smells of home baked goods and cookies wafted down main street.
And Nathan kept a watchful eye over it all. In his job, crowds and all these tourists made him nervous. Especially this year, when any unknown man coming into town was eyed as possibly being Beck McEntire. Here to take Charlotte away from him. Nathan's heart clenched at the thought.
Nathan took a stroll down the street, checking the faces of every new person in town, when the daily stagecoach came pulling in. A man and woman in their sixties exited first, followed by a familiar friend.
"Carson!" Nathan exclaimed, striding up the platform to shake the hand of his friend. "I didn't know you were coming back into town. Faith did not say anything."
"Faith doesn't know yet. I thought I would surprise her," Carson said.
"Carson?!" Faith's voice carried from across the street.
"Seems like you succeeded," Nathan confirmed, as he patted Dr. Shepard on the back and moved out of the way so Faith could envelope him into a warm and welcoming hug.
"Who is that?" Charlotte's voice behind Nathan, startled him.
How did she always seem to have a way of sneaking up on him?
"That is Dr. Carson Shepard, he and Faith are… well you know what. I'm not actually sure what he and Faith are right now." Nathan stated, turning to look back at the two doctors in front of him.
"Let me introduce you," Nathan offered, gesturing Charlotte towards the reunion in front of them.
"Carson," Nathan began. "This is Ms. Charlotte Thompson. She is our new teacher that started this summer helping Elizabeth with the extra students."
"And your neighbor from what I hear," Carson winked at Nathan before extending a hand to Charlotte. "Charlotte, it is nice to finally meet you. From Faith's letters it seems like you are a wonderful addition to Hope Valley. I am Dr. Carson Shepard. Dr. Carter and I ran the infirmary together until I left to complete a surgical fellowship with John Hopkins University in Baltimore."
"Lovely to meet you as well, Carson. John Hopkins is very prestigious." Charlotte warmly greeted.
"Are you just in town for Christmas?" Nathan asked.
"No. I'm back for good. I completed my fellowship a little over a week ago, packed up and made my way here." Carson replied. "Faith and I have been talking over the past few months about opening a hospital here in Hope Valley that can serve the greater area since the nearest hospital is hours away and if there was ever an emergency… Well, you both know, bad things can happen anywhere, and I realized this was the community I wanted to help. All of my dearest friends are here, and I couldn't think of a better place to share my talents with. Plus, the word on the street is, the inventor of the new adhesive bandage lives right here in Hope Valley."
They all laughed. Yes, who would have thought, Ned Yost, would have a medical invention named Band-Aid to his list of accomplishments.
"That's great news!" Nathan exclaimed. "It's good to have you back, Carson."
"Henry, it was so kind of you to agree to be Santa for the festival," Charlotte said, as she helped Gowen pad his stomach with extra pillows.
"I don't know how good I will be at this," Henry worried.
"You will be wonderful! Especially once we get your suit and beard in place. And do not forget I will be right beside you, introducing each child and Allie will be there as your elf."
"Just don't start falling for me Ms. Thompson. I know you have a thing for men in red uniforms," the hint of mischief causing Henry's eyes to twinkle as they looked at Charlotte.
A shocked expression crossed Charlotte's face.
"Henry Gowen. You are the biggest troublemaker I've ever met." Charlotte playfully quipped back.
"All joking aside, Charlotte. Nathan is a good person. As a man who has served time in prison and not always been on the right side of the law, Nathan has always treated me fairly and even helped with an investigation to clear my name a few years back."
Charlotte smiled at Henry. Her heart swelled. Nathan really was a wonderful man. So kind, caring, and loyal. Charlotte never tired of hearing these stories from other people in the community, because Nathan was too humble to tell Charlotte himself how many lives he has touched since coming to Hope Valley.
"Charlotte," Henry continued, "I understand enough to know your past has not been easy. But take it from me. Do not wait too long to get everything in your life right, before moving forward. Sometimes it is the people we are trying to change for who are the ones that will help heal us the most."
The line of children coming to see Santa had formed out the door of Charlotte's classroom and part of the way to Nathan's office most of the afternoon. And whether Henry Gowen believed it or not, he was a natural at this. As each new child would make their way onto Santa's lap, Charlotte would lean over and whisper their name into Henry's ear.
Because Santa knew everyone's name.
The children would then tell Santa all their wishes for what would be under the tree or in their stockings on Christmas morning. Henry would nod his head and every once in a while, let out a jolly "Ho… Ho… Ho…" in response before the child slid off his lap and collected a candy cane from Allie, Santa's little helper, and scurried back to their parents who were standing off to the side.
As the event was beginning to wrap up, Charlotte spotted Elizabeth and Little Jack next in line. The child's eyes brightened with wonder as he saw Santa, the source of all the Christmas stories his mother had been reading to him for years. He quickly bounded up to the man in the bright red suit, Henry reaching to bring the young boy onto his knee. Jack quickly set about sharing all he had on his Christmas list this year as Henry listened intently.
"Can I ask a favor of you?" Elizabeth questioned, as she came to stand beside Charlotte. "Lucas was wondering if I could help him this afternoon start decorating for the Christmas dance the day after tomorrow in the saloon. And I was hoping that you could watch Little Jack for a couple hours since you are almost done here?"
"Of course! I would be happy to watch Jack for you."
"Thank you. If he gets cranky or tired, feel free to bring him to the saloon and I will take him home."
"Not a problem. I'm sure we can manage."
And they did manage for a little while after Elizabeth left the classroom, but soon enough Jack had become bored with the various stationary activities Charlotte had tried to keep him occupied with as they finished the Santa visits.
"Allie, would you mind helping Santa with the last children? Little Jack is becoming restless, and I think I will take him down the street to the sugar cookie decorating station outside of the café. You can meet us there when you are done."
"Not a problem, Santa and I can take it from here." Allie declared.
"Thank you both." Charlotte said to Santa and his elf, before turning to the young child beside her. "Jack, should we go decorate some cookies?"
"Cookies? Can we eat some too?"
Charlotte laughed at the way the boy's eyes enlarged at the prospect, "I think that can be arranged."
After Charlotte had put on her coat and helped Jack into his, they started to make their way out of the schoolhouse and down the boardwalk towards the café.
"Charlotte. Jack." Nathan's voice cut through the crowd. He had stepped out of his office right as the pair started to walk by. "Where are you two heading?"
"Can you tell Constable Grant where we are going Jack?" Charlotte questioned the little boy holding her hand.
"Cooookkkiiees!" Jack cried as he threw his arms up in the air joyfully, causing Nathan and Charlotte to both laugh.
"Yes. Cookies," Charlotte confirmed, turning her attention back to Nathan. "Jack and I are on our way to the café, while Elizabeth helps Lucas set up and decorate for the dance in a couple days."
Ah yes… the dance. Nathan thought. He had been trying to find the courage to do this for weeks, but it just never seemed like the right time. And when he was nervous, words always came a little harder for Nathan Grant, so he took a deep breath before continuing, "About the dance Charlotte… would you like to go with me?"
Charlotte's eyes grew big in shock.
"And Allie! As… friends," the added words tumbling out of Nathan to try and make his request less awkward for Charlotte. Even though he had wished she would say yes to going as more than friends.
"I didn't even know you danced constable," Charlotte joked.
Nathan smiled, but shifted his eyes to look at his boots in slight embarrassment. "Actually, I didn't, not properly anyway. Until a few days ago."
"A few days ago?" Charlotte questioned. Her eyebrow raised quizzically.
"I've been to dances before; I've just never actually danced at them. I have never gone with anyone in the past, so there wasn't much of a need to learn. Until now." Nathan paused a moment before continuing, "I have been wanting to ask you for quite some time to go with me, but I also wanted to know how to waltz if you decided to say yes. So I asked Rosemary if she could give me some lessons."
"You took waltzing lessons? From Rosemary?" Charlotte asked in surprise. "For me?"
Nathan just nodded his head in reply, unable to look at Charlotte.
When you say it aloud it does sound silly. He thought.
"Nathan," Charlotte reached over to place a hand on his forearm, bringing his attention back to her. "You are too good to me. My table, the angel, and now learning how to waltz." Charlotte's head slowly shaking in disbelief, "How did I get so lucky?"
They stood there for a moment. Neither moving. The rest of the world bustling around them, fell into a distant lull. Charlotte's hand was still placed upon Nathan's arm, shooting a ray of warmth through every vein in his body.
"Nathan." Charlotte broke the silence.
Here it comes. Nathan thought. The very polite, "I'm sorry, but I can't." His eyes slightly closed as he braced for the word's impact.
"I would love to go with you... And Allie to the dance."
But…
Nathan waited... And waited...
Except the but never came. Nathan allowed his eyes to open slowly, revealing Charlotte standing in front of him. Smiling from ear to ear. Was this all just a dream?
Charlotte realizing her acceptance hadn't quite registered fully with the Mountie in front of her, so she repeated, "Nathan. I would love to go to the Christmas dance with you."
"Really?" Nathan still not fully believing the words he was hearing. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," Charlotte giggled. "I would hate to see Rosemary's lessons go to waste."
"Cooookkkiiees!" Jack impatiently shouted as he pulled on Charlotte's hand.
"Yes. Cookies." Charlotte agreed, "I better get this one loaded up on sugar before giving him back to his mom." A mischievous smile breaking across Charlotte's features as she winked in Nathan's direction and started off down the boardwalk to the café.
"Charlotte, wait!" Nathan called out, causing Charlotte to stop and turn towards him. "Minnie had dropped off some extra soup this morning, would you like to join Allie and I for dinner tonight?"
Charlotte smiled, "I would love to."
She had said yes. To him.
Nathan still wasn't sure if he believed it fully. He had been trying to work up the courage to ask Charlotte since he first found out about the dance being the grand finale to the Hope Valley Christmas festival. But earlier when they almost ran into each other and Charlotte had mentioned the dance, Nathan knew that it was then or never.
And she had said yes.
After their talk, Nathan had gone on another walk around town. He just couldn't shake the feeling that with all the good that was finally happening in both his life and Charlotte's that the universe was going to find a way to wreck it somehow. So he had to keep a watchful eye on the town to ensure everything was safe.
And currently his watchful eye had become easily distracted by the vision in front of him.
There was Charlotte and Little Jack, both with more frosting and sprinkles on their clothes than the cookies that sat in front of them on the table. Charlotte leaning over and tickling Jack while blowing raspberries against the little boy's cheek where it peaked from under his stocking cap. Jack giggling and wiggling against Charlotte's playfulness until they were both in fits of laughter.
Nathan knew Charlotte would be a wonderful mother. He had not only seen it firsthand with her interactions with Allie, but also her students and now Little Jack. Nathan could not help as his mind wandered into their future together.
Coming home to the house he would build for them on Bill's property. Charlotte greeting him on the front porch. Nathan meeting her part of the way up the steps, so he and Charlotte would stand before each other at eye level. His arms wrapping around her waist drawing her closer to him. Charlotte leaning forward to tip back Nathan's campaign hat as she brought her lips to his. Welcoming and warm. No doubt that he was home. With her. The moment broken only when their children came rushing past in an intense game of tag. Nathan feeling a smile form across his wife's lips that were still lightly pressed against his. "Tag your it" Charlotte whispered as she slightly knocked Nathan off balance and took off behind the kids. Nathan gladly playing along. Chasing after the little ones, before they were quickly scooped up and rescued by Charlotte and Allie. Laughter hanging thick in the mountain air around them.
"Uncle Nathan." Allie's voice woke Nathan from his daydream.
How long had she been standing beside him?
"Done helping Santa?" Nathan questioned, as he playfully batted the pom pom on top of the elf hat she wore.
Allie just smiled weakly as her eyes turned to where Nathan had been looking earlier.
"Is something wrong Allie?"
"No. I'm fine," she answered as she walked away from Nathan to where Charlotte and Little Jack were finishing their cookies.
She most definitely was not fine. Nathan thought as he turned to continue his rounds through town. Hopefully, Charlotte will be able to figure it out.
"Do you know what is bothering Allie?" Charlotte asked as she finished reheating Minnie's soup on the stove.
Nathan had just walked through the door and was removing his holster and serge, placing them in their assigned positions at the entry. "No. I was hoping you would be able to figure that out."
"It was so strange. We had such a wonderful time with Henry, but then when Allie came to meet Jack and I at the café she was reserved and didn't want to talk."
"I noticed that too when I was doing my rounds and saw her."
"Do you think something happened after I had left the Santa visit that upset her?" worry carrying in Charlotte's voice as her mind raced, thinking of her own past.
"I'm sure it's nothing like that," Nathan reassured, reading Charlotte's thoughts. "Where is she now?"
"She went up to her room the moment we got back to the house."
"Allie!" Nathan called up the stairs, "Dinner is ready."
"I'm not hungry." Allie's voice carried back down the steps, causing Charlotte and Nathan to look at one another nervously.
Allie was always hungry.
Charlotte and Nathan both climbed the stairs to the second floor. Charlotte had yet to be up here, but it was the same layout as her row house, so to get to the second bedroom, Charlotte had to walk past Nathan's room, and she couldn't help but cast her eyes into the space. A wash basin, mirror, and Nathan's shaving supplies were the only items on top of a small dresser that lined the one wall of the bedroom. A single pillow sat atop Nathan's well-made bed. The sharp lines of the folded blue woolen blanket would be sure to pass a superior's impromptu inspection. Finally, a bedside table, that perfectly matched the one Nathan had made for Charlotte, sat beneath the window.
Was that her copy of Jane Eyre that sat beside Nathan's bed on the table? Charlotte's cheeks warmed. She shouldn't have looked. It was too intimate of a detail. To know what was in someone's bedroom. What surrounds them as they drift in and out of their dreams.
"Allie," Nathan knocked on the girl's door. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing!" Allie's voice broke as she called out to them.
Nathan looked over his shoulder to Charlotte. A mutual understanding passed between them as he stepped out of the way and let Charlotte turn the doorknob and open the door slightly, peeking her head around the corner to Allie. The girl looking up in surprise from where she sat at the edge of her bed. Her eyes red and puffy, a clear sign she had been crying.
Charlotte floated forward and sat beside Allie, placing her hands on top of the girl's. Nathan moving to stand beside them a short distance away.
"Allie," Charlotte softly whispered as she moved her fingers to tuck a strand of hair behind Allie's ear. "Please tell us what's wrong. Did something happen after I left the schoolroom today?"
Allie shook her head no but continued to stare at the floorboards in front of her.
"Did I say something to upset you?" Charlotte asked.
Again, Allie shook her head no before taking in a large shaky breath which caused her dam of emotions to break and tears to billow down her cheeks.
"Then please just tell us what's wrong sweetheart." Charlotte begged as she pulled Allie closer to her, rubbing the girl's arm to comfort her as Allie sobbed into Charlotte's chest.
"I… I…" Allie's voice cracking through the sobs. "I saw you today… With Little Jack… And… You were really… Happy with him… And it made me realize…"
Allie's breaths were jagged, tears and snot coated the front of Charlotte's blouse where Allie buried her face away.
"It made me realize that… it's because of me, you're not a mother!"
Charlotte's heart shattered in that moment, and she turned her face to look at Nathan who wore an equally painful expression.
No… This was not right!
Charlotte pulled back slightly, creating a small amount of space between herself and Allie. Charlotte smoothed Allie's locks of hair off her face, brushing away the tears that had fallen as she moved to cup Allie's cheeks.
"Allie, please look at me." Charlotte gently requested. She needed Allie's full attention.
When Allie's eyes finally lifted to meet Charlotte's, she thought her heart was going to explode with the love she felt for this little girl. Her little girl.
"Allie," Charlotte began. "Allie, it's because of you," her voice breaking, making it hard to continue. "It's because of you, that I am a mother."
Allie's face instantly lifted in front of Charlotte. Relief washing over the girl's features, followed closely by pure joy and love. She pounced forward, wrapping her arms around Charlotte's neck and burying her face into the comforting curtain of her mother's wavy hair.
Charlotte shifted, pulling Allie closer into her body, tears now also streaming down her own face. Not of sadness. No, not of sadness. But rather pure, blissful happiness. Charlotte had a family again.
Just then Charlotte remembered Nathan in the room and shifted her eyes to where he stood only a step or two from their embrace. Tears streamed down Nathan's face, his blue eyes full of the same emotions Charlotte and Allie were feeling in that moment.
He did not deserve to be left out. He needed this just as much as Charlotte and Allie did. Charlotte pulled back slightly, unwrapping an arm from around Allie to reach a hand towards Nathan. Nathan's gaze drifted to where she had extended her palm to him, pausing a moment before taking it into his own. The same feeling that passed between Nathan and Charlotte every time they touched, again shot through them like electricity. Charlotte pulled Nathan gently forward. Closer.
Nathan paused. Searching Charlotte's eyes. Making sure it was okay.
Charlotte nodded. Yes. Hold us. She thought. Hold me.
Nathan gave a reassuring smile as he kneeled beside the bed and wrapped his arms gently around his girls. He felt Charlotte stiffen slightly and her breath catch, but after a few moments her muscles relaxed and her heart rate quieted.
She was letting him hold her. Letting him comfort her. Something he had wanted to do so many times over the past few months. And now that he had Charlotte Thompson in his arms, Nathan knew he would never be able to let her go.