Chapter 23: A Ring for Christmas

Charlotte stared into her now cold cup of coffee. The low light of dawn started to filter through the glass windowpanes to the east. She had not been able to sleep much since the night of the Christmas dance. So instead of tossing and turning for hours in her bed, Charlotte had made her way downstairs to pour a cup of coffee and sit in front of the Christmas tree wrapped beneath the warmth of her friendship quilt. Charlotte had hoped its presence around her would give the strength she needed to clear her mind and make some decisions.

Charlotte had believed that her saying yes to going to the dance with Nathan would be the end of her uncertainty about their relationship. She had thought she was ready to move forward with them being a couple. But the moment they seemed ready to make it official to the rest of Hope Valley, Charlotte had…

Well Charlotte couldn't. Instead, she seemed to do what she did best. Run away.

Why couldn't she just put the ghost of Beck McEntire to rest once and for all? She hated that the monster still had such control over her life. Hadn't he hurt her enough? Why did his presence seem to find a way of seeping in right when Charlotte felt she was moving forward? He came in like a thief in the night, stealing away her happiness the moment it was literally within reach.

Would it always be like this? Charlotte wished she could answer that question.

Because if this is what her future looked like, one step forward, three steps back, Charlotte did not know if she could put Nathan through that. The other night was bad enough. Seeing the hurt on his face when she pulled back and out of his arms on the dance floor. She had let him down. And Charlotte could deal with a lot in her life but knowing she disappointed Nathan made her physically sick. He did not deserve this uncertainty.

Just then a soft knock came from her door to the backyard.

Nathan.

"Are we… okay?" Nathan came right out and asked the moment Charlotte opened the door.

Charlotte's shoulders dropped at the question. She honestly did not know. But the dark circles under Nathan's eyes made her understand that he most likely had slept as much as she did over the past few days.

"Come in." She said, stepping out of the way for Nathan to enter.

"Charlotte-" Nathan began, turning to face her, running his fingers through his hair, pushing back the lock that always seemed to fall out of place over his right eye.

Charlotte cut him off, "Nathan, I'll be honest. I'm not sure what we are, because I don't know what I am. I have so many thoughts and feelings and emotions that are coursing through me at any moment. But right now. What I feel most is scared. Not so much scared about Beck, but more so scared that one day you are going to wake up and not care for me anymore. I am scared that you are going to get sick of my… my spells and this need for constant reassurance that you and Allie will not hurt me. Or worse because of my actions, I am scared I will hurt you. I'm scared that you are going to get fed up with my panic attacks and my uncontrollable fits of sadness. But most of all, I'm scared that you're going to see me the way I see myself."

"Darling," Nathan stepped over and took Charlotte's hands, prepared for her to cower away from his approach and word of endearment, but she didn't. Instead, her tension seemed to dissolve in front of him.

Good. Nathan thought. This is an improvement.

"Don't you see how much progress you are making?" Nathan questioned. "Six months ago, you could not even be within three feet of me while alone. And look at us now."

Nathan paused as Charlotte took in their stance. Face to face, inside her house, and hands clasped in a pose remarkably like that of a groom and his bride as they made vows for a lifetime love in front of their family, friends, and most importantly God.

"And this," Nathan gently ran his thumbs over the back of Charlotte's hands, memorizing every peak and valley of their features. "Me being in your home, alone. You are letting me hold you. It is not the only step forward you have taken Charlotte. Think of what you just said. What you just admitted. You are being open with me. You are sharing your hurt, disappointments, and fears. Letting me in. Helping me understand where you are at, so I can help you... us… move forward. Together."

Charlotte took a deep breath. Nathan was right. And with that admission, relief rushed over her.

But it was not just relief that came over Charlotte. It was another feeling. A feeling of finally finding someone who really understood her. A person who let her be vulnerable and honest. The kind of person who encouraged her to push past her flaws because they accepted her just as she was in this moment. Someone who never told her she was too much of this or too little of that. Because to him, Charlotte was just enough of everything he loved.

While Charlotte was still searching for the right words to say to Nathan, he decided to continue. "I know you're afraid you may never heal completely. That memories of your past will come filtering back into you without warning, like the other night. And I cannot promise that it will ever completely go away and never come back. But Charlotte, I believe if you let me help. If you and Allie and I keep creating these wonderful moments and memories. We can continue to move forward. And as I have said before, I do not care how long it takes for you to see that. You and I… this… what we have. It will always be here."

It was true, Nathan thought. Charlotte made him feel more in these past few months, than he was ever able to feel in the years spent trying to make Elizabeth love him in return. In the grand scheme of things, time meant so little. But character. The person Charlotte was. It was everything to Nathan.

He loved Charlotte. It was clear to him. He wanted her good and bad. He wanted to know everything about her; regardless of how bright or dark. He wanted it all, because at the end of the day, it was still her.

Nathan lifted his right hand to move an unbrushed strand of Charlotte's hair, tucking it gently behind her ear.

Charlotte allowed her eyes to close slightly, savoring the gentleness of Nathan's feather light touch as his fingers grazed her cheek.

"And Charlotte. I want to be honest too. I'll admit it is hard to wait for something you know might never happen; but it's harder to give up when you know it is everything you've ever wanted."

Charlotte's eyes opened then. Not in fear, but in realization.

Realization that Nathan and their future together was everything Charlotte wanted too.

The children's pure voices rang out from the front of the church.

"O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining. It is the night of the dear Savior's birth."

Charlotte had told Allie that O Holy Night was always her favorite Christmas hymn, so that was why she assumed the girl's face beamed from her position in the kid's choir.

That was one of the reasons, but the other was that Allie could clearly see something had changed between her beloved teacher and Uncle Nathan. They sat together in their usual spot at the back of the church, but unlike in times past, Allie was not sitting between them as a buffer.

"A thrill of hope. The weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn."

Charlotte shifted closer, pressing her side into Nathan's as he took her movement as an invitation to wrap his right arm across the back of the pew, pulling her to him as he gently rubbed her shoulder. Charlotte reached for Nathan's other hand, turning it over so she could trace the lines of his palm with her fingertips.

The rest of the world seemed to fade from existence at that moment. The low light of the evening kept the pair drawn into the shadows of the little church. Nathan could not help but lean his head closer to Charlotte's. She stiffened slightly with the movement, but after a few moments her breath steadied to match his. Their chests rising and falling in time with one another.

Charlotte had admitted to Nathan this morning how scared she was, but Nathan was scared too. It was scary to find someone that makes you so incandescently happy. That makes you forget everything bad that has gone on in your life. Charlotte was the first person Nathan wanted to talk to in the morning and she was the last vision he wanted to see before falling asleep. Just so he could start and end each of his days with her radiant and easy smile. He finally had someone, but it petrified Nathan to think of how easily Charlotte could be taken from him. Taking all his happiness away too when she left.

Charlotte must have felt Nathan's muscles tense as his mind wandered to the thought of Beck still out there, like a looming storm coming in from the mountains to the west, because she shifted slightly to look up at him. Reading his reaction.

Nathan gave her a reassuring smile, as his hand moved from her shoulder to again brush a piece of hair away from her eyes. He loved when she wore it down and loose as it gave him an excuse to run his fingers through the silky strands. The flicker of the church candles sparkled in Charlotte's haunting grey eyes.

Nathan would deal with Beck in time, but right now he was going to take every opportunity possible to soak up these moments with Charlotte. Help her move on from her broken past and the scars she still carried. He, Allie, and Charlotte were a family now. And Nathan wanted to make this first Christmas together as special as possible.

"Merry Christmas!" Allie beamed as she handed a small package to Charlotte.

Charlotte stared up in shock at Allie. After the Christmas Eve concert in the church, Allie, Charlotte and Nathan had all returned to the Grant's home for a dinner of ham, scalloped potatoes and green beans Charlotte had canned this summer. Charlotte had also shared with Allie and Nathan one of her family's traditions. She had baked a cake in honor of baby Jesus' birth. Nathan lit the candles Charlotte had placed on top as the trio gathered around and sang Happy Birthday. It was important to them to remember the true reason for this season.

But Charlotte had not been expecting a present tonight. She was ashamed to say it, but she hadn't even thought about the possibility. With everything that had been going on in her head over the past few days, she had forgotten about exchanging Christmas presents with Allie and Nathan. The color drained out of her face.

"I can't accept this." Charlotte began as she started to hand the package back to Allie and Nathan. "I haven't bought you anything in return."

"Charlotte," Nathan began as he came to sit beside her on the couch, gently pushing the gift back into Charlotte's hands. "You have already given Allie and I the only gift we really needed."

Charlotte's eyes raised in question from where Nathan's fingers brushed against hers to stare into his deep and caring gaze. "I don't understand."

"You being here. In our lives," Nathan answered. "It's more than either of us, Allie and I, could have hoped for. You make us happy Charlotte. You make us complete."

Tears of gratitude started to fill in the corners of Charlotte's eyes. As much as she thought there was no way she deserved Allie and Nathan's love, for some unknown reason, they felt the need to bare their souls and give it freely to her. Without asking anything in return.

Charlotte pulled at the string that held the brown wrapping paper in place before moving her fingers under the fold of the paper to reveal her gift beneath.

It was the most perfect present Charlotte could have ever asked for.

"We thought it would help your house feel a bit more like home," Nathan commented.

Charlotte's fingertips brushed over the details of the frame, Nathan had no doubt carved himself, and then onto the picture held within its outline. It was of them; her, Allie, and Nathan from the other night at the Christmas dance. Charlotte's left arm was wrapped around Allie who stood in front of her, both with broad and happy smiles directed to Carson and his camera. But Nathan. Charlotte's chest caught. He was not looking at the camera. He was smiling down at Charlotte in the picture. Their hands clasped together. That look he was wearing in the picture. Charlotte wasn't sure if it could exist outside of her storybooks. Her thumb ran over the features of Nathan's face in the photo, committing the look to her memory.

"Thank you both." Charlotte's voice was barely above a whisper.

Allie sensing Charlotte needed some support, moved closer and wrapped her arms around Charlotte's torso at the same time Nathan reached for Charlotte's hand. They all sat there on the couch, perfectly happy in the action of just being with one another, when Charlotte finally broke the silence.

"Wait. I do have something for you both," Charlotte said gently as she stood and reluctantly removed herself from Allie and Nathan's grasps. "You stay right here. I'll be back in no time."

True to her word, Charlotte returned only a short while later, peeking into the living room from where she stood on the back steps, "Alright Nathan… you're up first. And since I did not have time to wrap this, close your eyes."

"I told you I didn't need anything," Nathan chided, even though the idea of a Christmas present from Charlotte did make him a little giddy. He complied and closed his eyes.

Nathan sensed Charlotte sit down on the coffee table in front of him. "Now hold out your hands," Charlotte gently directed.

Nathan reached forward towards the sound of Charlotte's voice and soon felt the weight of the gift being placed into his outstretched hands.

"Okay, you can look now."

Nathan's eyes blinked open, revealing Charlotte's present. In his hands he held the well-worn wood of Charlotte's father's guitar. He was taken aback by the gesture.

"But Charlotte, this is your dad's guitar. You said that it was one of his most prized possessions."

"It was. But Nathan, I think he would love for you to have it." Charlotte reached over to touch Nathan's forearm, giving them both reassurance. "You just have to promise me that I get to be the first person you play for."

"I promise," Nathan confirmed. A smile beaming across his face as he placed his hand on top of Charlotte's that still rested on his arm.

They stayed like that a moment longer, before Charlotte broke their gaze, remembering she still had another gift to give.

"And for you," Charlotte turned to face Allie, handing her over a small, hinged box.

Allie carefully pulled the box open, revealing a small silver ring. She lifted the piece of jewelry from the package to inspect it closer.

"It's called a Claddagh ring," Charlotte began to explain. "The hands represent friendship, the crown loyalty, and the heart is shown to mean love. It is an old Irish tradition handed down from a mother to her daughter. This was my grandmother's ring. Grandma gave it to my mom before she came to this country from Ireland. And then when I was about your age, my mom gave it to me. I was hoping you would do me the honor of accepting this gift from me. From a mother to her daughter."

"Really?" Allie's voice was full of disbelief. "You want me to have your mom's ring? But what if in the future, you have your own daughter and want to give it to her?"

"Allie, I meant what I said the other night. I think from the very first moment we met, I felt the love of a mother for you. I am not here to replace your mom, because no one ever could. But I hope, with time, you will allow me to love you like you are my own daughter."

Allie did not have words. The only thing she could do was again lean forward to envelop Charlotte into a deep hug.

"I love you," she whispered into Charlotte's wavy hair.

"I love you," Charlotte squeezed tighter.

Christmas morning came and went with Allie, Charlotte, and Nathan attending church services together, before packing a lunch of leftover ham sandwiches and taking part in one of the Grant family's Christmas traditions, fishing at the pond. The competition was fierce today as to who could catch the biggest fish, but while Charlotte came close, it was Allie and her last catch that squeaked out the win. Poor Nathan didn't catch a thing!

After lunch though, the three went in opposite directions from the pond. Allie and a few of the other girls from school were spending the night at Opal's to play with all the new toys and games they had received for Christmas. Nathan had to make his rounds and since he was getting a late start, he wouldn't be back until after dark.

That left Charlotte to return to her row house alone. As she neared her front steps, she noticed a large package leaning against the post on her porch.

What in the world? Charlotte thought to herself as she picked up the box and looked around to possibly see who had left it on her front steps. No one was there. Everyone was happily spending the rest of Christmas Day surrounded by their family and friends.

Charlotte carried the awkwardly large package into her house and set it on the dining room table to open, lifting off the box's lid to reveal a pile of delicate tissue paper and a note within. Charlotte opened the envelope and removed the letter from within.

Charlotte

I know you did not get your fairytale ball the other night, but it is never too late to have a happy ending.

Or in your case, a happy beginning.

Merry Christmas,

Your Secret Santa

Your Secret Santa? Charlotte's mind raced as she started to peel back the layers of tissue paper in the package, but upon seeing what lay within the wrapping Charlotte knew exactly the source.

A smile spread across Charlotte's face. There was one more Christmas gift she needed to give before the day was over.

The gift exchange with the Grant family was again one of those scenes that I had pictured incredibly early on for this FanFic. I love how it came together. These special moments between Allie and Charlotte are some of my favorites.

Also wanted to note that if you are enjoying my story and are a part of the SuspendersUnbuttoned: Always #TeamNathan Facebook Group, I saw today that they have chosen this story as a finalist for their FanFic Contest in the Category 1: Nathan and Allie Moving On. If you are a part of the group, I'd love a vote. Even though I know the other stories are just as special and are all helping us heal from Season 8.

This was the last chapter I was planning for my "Christmas Movie", but since I got a little long winded, I decided to break it up into two. The next chapter, that let me say is probably one of my favorites so far, should be out tomorrow. All the feels, y'all!