Chapter 54- Changing Seasons

Thankfully the extra visitors hadn't stayed long in Hope Valley. He hated being cooped up more than necessary and had become too bold that first night they were in town. Following her and the Mountie to the row houses. Keeping to the shadows. Staying in the underbrush of the woods, he had tried to creep closer. Wanting to hear what she was saying to the Mountie.

"I think I've always wanted you. Even when I didn't know what I wanted. Even before I knew you. It was you."

What a wonderful actress. He thought to himself.

"You two will forever be my home and I hope you know how much you mean to me. I don't need the big house or the beautiful property. I just need you."

Oh sweetheart. You are making this too easy. He shifted, causing a branch to snap under his boot, drawing the attention of the pair from her front porch. Thankfully a doe had also been startled from the woods by his movement and darted out onto the path, discouraging the Mountie from investigating further.

Louis James, or should he say Constable Gabriel Kinslow, had left with the rest of the visitors. He had immediately set to work collecting as much information as possible on the real identity of James from his connections. Finding out that Constable Kinslow was stationed in the town of Brookfield and was a highly regarded member of the Northwest Mounted Police force. Kinslow was one of the Mounties who had arrested Mike Sinclair. He hadn't been surprised to find out that the other Mountie involved in Sinclair's arrest had, of course, been the ever-honorable Constable Nathan Grant.

Grant found a way to grate on every one of his last nerves. How many times over the last couple of weeks, since classes had begun, did he witness the Mountie making a point to visit her over lunch? Hiding behind the big maple tree at the edge of the clearing he would occasionally peek over and watch as they sat beside one another, eating their sandwiches. Touching. Laughing.

Soon enough though, the pair would be pulled into participating with the children's recess activities. They would skip rocks across the pond. Or play pirates on the dock. Baseball, tag, hide-and-seek, leapfrog, and blindman's bluff were regular occurrences as well.

Why was the Mountie wasting his day here, playing schoolyard games, when he should be in his office working or making rounds? As acting sheriff of Potter's Creek, he never had time for this sort of childish behavior.

The Mountie's mother was still in town and still occupying her other bedroom. It threw a bit of a curveball into his plans. He needed to get her alone. But how?

The answer came yesterday. He knew exactly when the mail was delivered to the mercantile and tried to time the pipeline's daily supply run around then. As soon as the mail was sorted, but before Mr. Yost had time to deliver, he would pull up to the back dock with a handful of workers and request that Yost help with the loading of the wagon.

While the men and Yost worked at fulfilling the supply order, and Yost's wife was busy with the switchboard, he would scan the sorting box that held the day's mail. He knew which compartment held the Mountie's letters and would quickly search for anything he thought would be significant. Yesterday was the day. When a letter with a return address of Brookfield, AB caught his attention, he secretly shuffled it into the pocket of his coat to read later.

When he returned to his room last night, he carefully opened the letter and read its contents. The letter was from Kinslow. Detailing their plans for the arrest in Potter's Creek when Kinsolw was scheduled to return in just two weeks' time with Grant as backup.

He had a deadline now to enact his plan.

It was Friday morning. He had found out from the local gossip in the saloon that she had canceled classes for the day. Apple trees throughout the valley were coming into season, and she had given the children the day off to help their families and other community members pick the harvest.

From his room in the saloon, he saw her, and the girl walk by on their way out of town a little while ago. Laughing and swinging their empty baskets on the way to go pick apples at one of the local farms. To the untrained eye, one would assume that they were mother and daughter. But he knew better. He knew the truth.

She could never be that girl's mother.

He didn't have long. The timing of the first part of his plan had to be perfect. His hand tightened its grip on the neck of the whiskey bottle on the bedside table. How much did he want to have a glass to go with his eggs and toast for breakfast, but he knew he shouldn't.

He knew he couldn't.

Not if he was going to be at the top of his game.

No. The drink could come after the day's job was done.

"Ms. Thompson?"

"Mmmhmm?" Charlotte mumbled to Allie, as she leaned on the ladder and extended her reach to grab a few more apples at the top of the tree.

"What did it feel like to grow up with a dad and mom?"

Charlotte's knees buckled and she almost slipped off the ladder. Her fingernails dug into the wooden rung leaving little indentations in their wake. She closed her eyes and took a steadying breath.

Where in the world did this question come from?

Charlotte backed down the steps of the ladder. Thankful to feel solid ground under her feet again, she turned to look at Allie. The young woman was staring at her, waiting for an answer.

Charlotte reached over and took the basket full of apples from Allie's hand, putting them to the side, she directed Allie to follow her towards the base of the tree. Charlotte sat on the ground and leaned back against the trunk. Allie joined.

"You want to know what it feels like to grow up with a dad and mom?" Charlotte stared out over the Campbell farm, where she and Allie had been invited to pick apples. They had been directed to a secluded spot on the property. One that didn't have many trees, but they were some of the most established in the orchard and bore big, delicious fruit.

"Yes." Allie simply answered, looking from Charlotte to where her hands wrung together in her lap.

Charlotte didn't know where to begin. She could share how blessed her childhood had been. Being raised by two incredible parents, who taught her the value in a hard day's work, to treat others how you wished to be treated and so many other important life lessons. Charlotte could tell Allie how her parents always made her feel encouraged, supported, and most of all loved.

She knew though that those things wouldn't be what Allie was looking for, but what did the young woman need? Charlotte knew she had to dig a little deeper.

Charlotte turned towards Allie, reaching forward to brush a strand of hair off the girl's cheek. "Where is this question coming from?"

Allie's cheeks reddened and she dipped her head in shame, but Charlotte's hand gently lifted her chin.

"Sweetheart. Is there something I said or did?"

Allie shook her head gently.

"Please tell me what this is all about, so I can help you."

"Fred's adoption ceremony."

"Oh," was the only response Charlotte could formulate.

Allie reached over and grabbed one of the apples that they had picked, twirling the red fruit between her fingers. Giving her hands a distraction.

"Weren't you happy for Fred?"

"Of course, I was happy for Fred. I guess, I just felt a little jealous. When I had my adoption ceremony a couple years ago, it wasn't like that."

"Your Uncle Nathan told me about what happened. With Mrs. Thornton."

"He did?"

Charlotte nodded. "He did."

"Was he still mad about it? That I tried to play matchmaker between him and Mrs. Thornton?"

"Allie, your Uncle Nathan was never mad. He understood why you sent Elizabeth the only invitation."

"When we were planning the adoption ceremony, I hadn't expected to feel any different afterwards. Other than Uncle Nathan promising to never leave me, it wasn't like anything changed. Uncle Nathan was still Uncle Nathan. The adoption was just a formality. I thought if Mrs. Thornton would be there, I could make it feel more like I was gaining something extra. A mom. A family."

Charlotte's heart broke with Allie's admission.

"Allie, I'm sorry it didn't work out with Mrs. Thornton and your Uncle Nathan."

"Oh no!" Allie's eyes grew big, dropping the apple she had been holding back into the basket. "That's not what I meant! I'm sorry if you thought… oh gosh. I'm messing this up, aren't I?"

"You're not messing anything up. You are speaking what is in your heart. I know how much Mrs. Thornton means to you.

"Yes... No!" Allie took a deep breath and collected her thoughts before continuing. "Yes. Mrs. Thornton will always mean something to me for how she helped Uncle Nathan and I become a part of this community and put down roots, but I don't care for her the same way I have come to care for you, Ms. Thompson."

Charlotte rubbed Allie's back in a gentle and reassuring manner, causing the girl to lean into Charlotte's embrace.

"All I wanted was for Uncle Nathan to be happy and I thought Mrs. Thornton could make him happy, but she also caused him a lot of heartache too."

Charlotte's heart clenched. How much pain had she herself caused Nathan? Turning down his proposal. The loss of their baby. Running out of his arms the night of the Christmas dance...

"I pushed them together. I tried to force something that just wasn't going to work."

"You didn't know it wasn't going to work, Allie."

"Yes, I did," Allie sat up a little straighter and turned to look at Charlotte. "I knew because she wasn't you. We were both just needing to wait and be patient until you came into our lives, Ms. Thompson. Uncle Nathan and you came together on your own. I've never seen him happier than he is when you're around. You two joke and laugh. You enjoy doing things together; fishing, reading, riding. You challenge him in all the right ways and take care of him. He guards your heart and makes you feel safe."

Charlotte again looked off across the orchard. How did it seem Allie understood Charlotte and Nathan's relationship more than they did? Maybe because it was easier to look at what they shared when it wasn't her own heart on the line.

But Allie's heart was involved. Maybe even more so than Nathan and Charlotte's, because the loss of her own birth parents at such a tender age.

"Mrs. Thornton had changed," Allie muttered under her breath.

Charlotte knew she should be correcting Allie, using Elizabeth's new last name of Bouchard, but for some reason she could bring herself to do it. "Allie, when you lose someone so close to you like Elizabeth losing her first husband Jack, it does change you. It makes you scared and uncertain. Like you are alone in the world and have no one to turn to. Life gets turned around and you suddenly don't know which way is up and which way is down."

"Like how I felt when mom died?"

Charlotte nodded her head. "I imagine so. It's the same way I felt when my parents died too. I think it's different for us though in some ways. Losing your first family - your birth mom, your birth dad, or your biological siblings - like what your Uncle Nathan felt losing your mom - it leaves a deep, deep wound. One that can only be bandaged with love, acceptance, affirmation, and healing. It can take a lifetime of restoration that will come in stages. It's like the changing seasons. Some days are a bright summer day at our meadow. Blue skies, birds singing, fish biting…" Charlotte gently poked Allie's side, mimicking a trout's nibbles, causing the girl to wiggle and giggle softly. "Other days it is the dead of winter. Grey, cold, and silent. Those days make you appreciate the bright moments even more."

Charlotte continued, "I don't know about you, but I couldn't imagine living somewhere that had the same season all year round. There is beauty in the change. Summer is a time of growth, learning and doing. Fall comes in, bringing a hint of what is to come, but also allowing us to relish in the beauty that was." Charlotte picked up an apple from her basket, holding it up slightly into the sunlight. "Like this apple. It grew all summer and now it is ready. Too soon and it's not ripe enough. Too late and it begins to rot from within."

How much of what she was saying to Allie right now, fit Charlotte's life as well?

Charlotte took a large bite, feeling the juice of the apple trickle down her chin, before wiping it away with the back of her hand.

"But when picked at the right time, using enough care to prevent bruising, this apple can be enjoyed for many months to come. We are able to still see summer and fall's beauty in the wintertime. When the cold chills us to the bone. It gives us hope to hold out for what's to come. The promise of a new beginning. Of a new dawn. The snows will melt, the green grass will grow, and these apple trees will blossom again. It's the same with life, Allie. Love never ends, it just changes with the seasons."

Charlotte reached into her basket and handed Allie an apple, the girl following Charlotte's lead and took a large bite. They sat there in the shade of the tree, enjoying the simplicity of the moment.

"Allie, given what you've experienced in life, it's natural for doubts to find a way of creeping into your mind, well into adulthood unfortunately. Still to this day I sometimes feel that way. I have questions such as, am I worthy of love? Will I be rejected again? Am I different than others? What you must realize is that it is okay to not feel okay all the time. It's okay to hurt and to feel sad or upset. What is important to remember, when you feel that way, is all those who love you."

Allie turned to look at Charlotte, her big brown eyes piercing directly into Charlotte's soul.

"First of all, God. He loves you so incredibly much and no matter where you are or what you do in life, he will always be there for you. All you have to do is ask."

"By praying?"

Charlotte nodded her head. "The rest of us come second to him. This community loves you, Allie. Your grandma and grandpa, too."

Charlotte reached over and touched Allie's hand, where the Claddagh ring had been on her finger since Christmas. "I love you and I know your Uncle Nathan loves you more than anything. I know there have been times in your life where you may have felt as though you are missing out on a mom and dad. I'm sure Nathan has tried his hardest to fill all those voids for you, but it isn't easy. It can be tough to make things feel special when you're a single parent. I think one of the first things I learned when I moved to town was that families don't have to match. Not in the traditional sense anyway. Hope Valley is your family Allie and even though you lost your mom and dad a long time ago, I hope you realize your Uncle Nathan and I will always be there to help fill those voids in the best ways we can. We are far from perfect, but you should never feel anything but support and love from us. When you feel like you are missing out, tell us. We can't fix your heart if we don't realize it's broken."

Allie nodded her head in understanding.

"Ms. Thompson," Allie's voice was low, barely above a whisper. "Do you think Uncle Nathan would mind if I started calling him dad?"

Charlotte could feel her eyes glisten with tears. Nathan had never talked about that with her, but knowing him as she did, Charlotte knew the idea of Allie finally feeling comfortable enough to call Nathan 'dad' might just make the man's heart burst with joy.

Her grip on Allie's hand tightened. "Allie, you know as well as I do, any man can become a father. It takes someone very special to be a dad. I don't know if you could have picked a better man than your Uncle Nathan to be your dad and so long as you feel comfortable calling him that, I know nothing would make him happier than officially being known as Allie Grant's dad."

"You think so?" Allie's eyes grew bright and joyful.

"I know so." Charlotte reached forward and hugged her daughter. She couldn't wait to see Nathan's initial reaction to Allie calling him 'dad'. For a man, who had once confessed to her that he never pictured himself as a father, Charlotte knew being Allie's dad was the greatest joy in his life and officially being called that by Allie herself would be confirmation of his position as such an integral part of her upbringing.

As Charlotte squeezed Allie tighter, she wondered what it would feel like if Allie ever chose to call her 'mom'.

*As much as I love writing sweet scenes between Nathan and Charlotte, there is just something special I feel when sitting down to write a chapter with Allie and Charlotte as the central characters.

This was the mother I wanted for Allie and, at least in my story, I hope I'm giving her the family she always deserved.