Last chapter we left Charles and Ann sharing a kiss (or two). I mean Erik had the honours and now it was time for Charles to get one. After all, he wanted to kiss her for a while now.
If it wasn't your cup of tea, my apologies.
Also oddly enough, there has been a change in the Poll (I wasn't expecting any new votes).
But it's a tie at the moment between Charles/Ann or Ann/Erik/Charles.
Erik/Ann pairing is getting the least votes in the poll.
Oddly enough most reviewers seem to be pro Erik/Ann.
Time to pick up from Charles and Ann kissing.
Trigger warning! This chapter will contain Concentration camp situations including death and gas chambers.
Chapter 26 - Rage and Serenity
What was she doing?
She opened her mouth and moaned as Charles slipped his tongue over the threshold of her lips. Not once had she imagined herself in this position. Sitting on top of an armrest of a couch with Charles Xavier standing between her legs. She'd started this. There was no way to place the blame on Charles or anybody else but herself. Although, would this have happened if she hadn't looked through Moira's eyes last night?
That had been her first kiss with Charles. Heck, that applied to both of them. Her first kiss with Charles and Moira's first kiss with him. The same man at the same time. There was nothing normal about that. And the worst thing was, Moira had no idea. This was a mistake. All of it was. Abruptly, Ann pulled back from Charles, with her lips still parted and a tingling sensation lingering between her thighs.
"This is wrong." She whispered under her breath. "I'm sorry, Charles."
Placing her hands on his chest, Ann pushed him back gently only to find Charles unwavering. He stayed put and grabbed hold of her wrists. He furrowed his brow.
"Why?"
"I shouldn't have kissed,-"
"Why would you say it's wrong?" He continued ignoring her words. "Because of Erik?"
Ann fell quiet and looked up at him. Her expression told him enough, he was right on the money. Charles let out a seep sigh as if he'd already expected this to happen. Releasing his hold on her, he stepped back and ran a hand through his brown tousled hair.
"Course it is." He muttered without waiting for Ann to answer him. "But this has nothing to do with how you feel, how you really feel. This is about loyalty."
"Excuse me?" Ann couldn't help but frown with confusion.
"If I had kissed you in the greenhouse when I had the chance, we wouldn't be in this position. I wouldn't have kissed Moira and you wouldn't have kissed Erik. There would be no holding back of what's going on between us. It's as simple as that."
He said it with such confidence but Ann clenched her jaw, irritation bubbling up to the surface.
"You are such a pompous arse." She said as she pushed herself away from the couch. "This has nothing to do with loyalty. This was a mistake. Even if nothing had happened between me and Erik, I would still feel this way. This didn't mean a thing."
"Oh really? Look me in the eye and say that again. Only this time as if you actually believe it." He said.
Charles barred her from walking past him. His stare was intense, eyes searching for proof that she felt the same way about him as he did about her. But all his behaviour caused was reminding Ann why she didn't like Charles. Not hate. No, she had to be honest about that. She did not hate this man, not anymore, although Charles's current actions were managing to push her into that direction. Ann didn't back down, her gaze as equally strong.
"All this was, was me getting caught up in a moment. I'm sorry. It shouldn't have happened. Let's pretend this never happened, alright?" With a scowl on her face, Ann moved past him but stopped abruptly as a hand was placed on her shoulder.
"I can make you forget if that's what you want. Just one touch, a little rummaging in there and presto." Charles snapped his fingers. "You won't remember our lips touching or our tongues dancing. Racing heartbeats, tingling skin,-"
"Stop it." Ann shook her head and scuffed. "You know, your power is truly fascinating. Here I was thinking you could only read minds, but it is one surprise after another with you, isn't it? You're telling me you can actually erase memories? What else, can you alter them too?"
"Is that a yes or a no on my offer?" Charles asked.
"Why don't you make yourself forget instead, mm?" She replied. "I don't need to forget about this, in fact, I need to remember how dumb I was for kissing you!"
With one final glare, Ann stomped away. She crossed the room and grabbed the doorknob, ready to head out. But as she turned her hand, Charles spoke up.
"I think you're the reason behind what happened between Moira and I last night." He said loud and clear, right as Ann was about to pull the door towards her.
The woman paused, frowned and lowered her arm. "Meaning what exactly?"
She listened quietly, heartbeat slightly increasing as Charles approached her from behind. It wasn't until she could no longer hear his footsteps that she finally turn around to face him.
"I think you did more than just eavesdrop on my conversation with Moira." He began, standing far more closer than was necessary. "I think you're the reason she went in for a kiss. I did not take the initiative in that."
What did he say? Ann's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. But instead of replying with a witty insult, she let out a short laugh and then another. Was he actually saying what she thought he was? That she had somehow forced Moira to take a chance and kiss Charles Xavier?
"Did you fall on your head when I wasn't looking?" Ann crossed her arms. "I can look through people's eyes. I can't make them do anything and if I could...kissing you would not be one of them. Moira has been wanting to kiss you, you know she has."
"I don't think you see or even know the full potential of your powers, Ann. You've done incredible things since we've met. Far more than simply locating people and looking through their eyes as you call it." Charles said, completely ignoring the part where she was talking about Moira's wish to kiss him.
"Do enlighten me. What else is it that I can do?"
Whatever was going through Charles's head, Ann was curious to hear it or perhaps curious wasn't the right word. If she had to be honest, she was worried. Scared even. Her power was an invasive one. The thought of being able to control other people's actions was positively,- frightening.
"When we first met you needed personal objects or pictures to find a person, you don't anymore." Charles said as he began to count the reasons with his fingers. "You can work as a conduit, allowing me to talk to others no matter how far they are,-" He paused for a second as a look of hurt crossed Ann's face.
Charles had not forgotten the accidental pain he put Ann through when he entered her mind while she'd been using her powers to locate Raven. He cleared his throat and continued counting.
"The machine Hank built, Cerebro, your brain helped with amplifying the waves needed to find other mutants. You told me you were able to jump from Erik's mind to mine without returning to your own body. Do I really need to go on?" He arched an eyebrow.
Ann shrugged. "I still haven't heard you mention a single thing that supports your argument that I can control other people's actions."
"Last night is my only example, but,-" Charles wetted his lips. "I think we should delve deeper into this supposed possibility."
"A minute ago you seemed so certain, now it's only a possibility?"
An irritated sigh escaped Charles. "Fine. I'm almost a hundred percent certain that you have an ability to have slight control over a situation. Whether it's one an emotional level or giving an actual command. Or maybe there's even more you can do. Think back, Ann. Wasn't there a moment in your life that you thought you could do more than only looking through people's eyes?"
Last night. During last night, the thought had definitely crossed her mind, but Ann couldn't tell him this. Because she most definitely did not want to give Charles Xavier any sort of satisfaction that he was right. And God, this man was right more often than not, something she would never ever dare to admit especially in his face. How was it that they were at each other's throat one minute and civil the next? Perhaps she ought to let him erase her memory of the last couple of minutes or preferably up until last night.
"I don't know. I haven't used my powers as much as I have since I meeting you." She told him, which was actually not a lie.
Charles blinked, opened his mouth only to close it again. "You sure?" He asked.
"Positive."
Crossing his arms, Charles cocked his head. "Even when you did the odd job for Moira? The last time you helped her out, for example?"
Now it was Ann's turn to give him a puzzling look. Charles never said anything without reason and asking her to recall a memory from when she used to help Moira out, was rather specific. Ann remembered vaguely the look Charles had given her a while back. The day after they had met Erik. Back when she was debating whether or not to continue helping them look for Shaw. If not for her talk with Moira on that specific morning, reminiscing their last case together, Ann might have left them to return to London.
He had read her mind back then. There was no doubt about it. And she had known too. Darn it, she had suspected as much. But she never thought it had further than him listening in on their thoughts. But him referring to it now was too specific. Clearly he had done more than some simple eavesdropping.
"I read your memory back at the hotel at the time." Charles admitted.
"Erasing memories, reading memories,-" Ann muttered under her breath. But then she sighed and ran a hand through her hair, trying to calm herself. Perhaps now was not the time to act on her emotions. Look where that had gotten her mere minutes ago.
"Alright, then how about you tell me, truthfully, just this once, what it is you know and have seen in my memory?" She took a deep breath, "About Jamie Barnes."
"Moira's former partner," Charles nodded.
"Yes," Ann confirmed.
"You were the one who found him. Hidden deep down underneath the streets. In the sewer. Near a large storm drain." He revealed.
All Ann could do was nod her head. Jamie Barnes, Moira's former partner, had gone missing. Moira contacted her within twenty-four hours, asking for her help. Ann said yes almost immediately. Moira had always paid her well for helping with cases and Ann was sure she would be able to help out. Unfortunately, it would be the last case for her.
Lowering her gaze, Ann stepped away from the door and walked back to the couch on the other side of the room. It didn't take long for Charles to follow her. He kept quiet, but Ann was certain he already knew everything. She didn't dare to look at him. If he knew the entire story, might as well let him do the talking. It was a memory she didn't want to repeat out loud. It had been her last case with Moira because Ann knew her friend was growing suspicious of her abilities. If even the finest detectives in her district couldn't locate Jamie Barnes, how was it that she had been able to?
Ann sat down and buried her face in her hands, not looking up as she felt Charles lowering himself next to her.
"I don't understand why you're bringing him up. Honestly, I should scold you for even knowing about it in the first place." She whispered.
"You can scold me later and I know this has nothing to do with me suspecting you are capable of controlling someone to do your bidding, but,-" He shifted in his spot and took hold of Ann's hands, lowering them from her face. "This is another incredible part of your powers."
He moved one of his hands and grabbed hold of her chin, forcing Ann to look at him. "I know you've been burdened by it, seeing him die."
Her heart started to pound heavily in her chest. Damn that man for seeing right through her mask. Jamie Barnes's death was a secret she never shared with Moira. How could she have? But Ann was certain Charles did not fully grasp just how burdened she was by it. For it had not been the first time she had been able to look through someone's eyes and see the final moments of their death.
"I felt all of it. The weightlessness of falling, water sliding down his throat and filling up his lungs. Hitting the bottom of the pipe, breaking,- something. His last moments gasping for air, unable to move." Ann swallowed. "I didn't dare to use my power for a long time after that."
Charles nodded and absent-mindedly stroked the area right beneath Ann's bottom lip with his thumb. "Until I knocked on your door."
A chuckle escaped her. "Passed out, you mean."
"Hardly. Well, by your beauty perhaps,-"
Ann sighed and slapped Charles's hand away from her face. "You're insufferable."
"So you keep reminding me. But you're right, this is something we have to discuss."
"Your personality?"
"Your ability to see somebody's last moments. As I recall from your memory, Jamie Barnes was already dead when you searched for him?"
Almost two days to be exact. Ann hadn't known he was dead until Moira's search team found him. She figured he was down in the sewers dying, but truth was he'd already been dead. Realization of what had happened didn't full hit her until a week later when she cut ties with Moira completely. Afraid her secret might get out or that she might get blamed for his death, for whatever weird reason.
"He was." Ann answered.
"Has it happened to you before?" Charles suddenly asked and Ann frowned at him. "Seeing somebody's last moments?"
Shit. She shook her head, trying hard to not reveal anything, but then she pressed her lips in a tight line and looked away. She had no idea how Charles knew, but the way he said it implied that he did. Heck, even she hardly remembered what she'd seen back then, she'd been so young. It was the last remaining memory she had of her sister, and she hated it with all her heart.
"Ann, talk to me?" He said, practically pleading. "Look, I know this will sound incredibly selfish because,- well, I'm a twat, as you keep reminding me." He began, throwing her a small smile. "But maybe it'll help to unload some of those heavy memories with somebody? That someone being me in this case."
So far the only person she'd shared a such an old and personal memory with had been Erik. Because unlike everybody else, he had been in her shoes. He knew what it was like to see somebody you loved die in front of you. But was that reason enough to not share something of her past life with Charles? He already knew about Jamie and even though Ann didn't want to admit it, Charles understood her powers better than she gave him credit for.
"I don't know,- I mean, I was so young, Charles. I don't even remember if,-"
Charles once again reached for her hand, gave it a gentle squeeze before pointing to his own head whilst nodding at hers.
"May I?" He asked and then quickly added. "I won't hurt you."
For a second Ann searched his blue eyes, she still felt anxious but couldn't ignore a sense of trust along with it. "Okay."
Mouthing a 'thank you', Charles closed his eyes and pressed two fingers against his temple. It didn't take long for Ann's mind to wander back to that day. That day when she watched her mother die. When she was on the train with her sister Hilde.
'Dir wird nichts passieren, Hannah.'
Hilde holding her close, stroking her hair as they both cried. Pressed together like sardines in a tin in complete and utter darkness. Surrounded by women and other children crying and screaming. The stench of urine becoming more intense with each passing minute. And then nothing.
Utter silence.
No cries, no foul stench. No Hilde.
Ann blinked. The sky was dark, clouds covering most of the stars and moonlight. A wide and open field surrounding her. Moving one foot, she felt the tiny rocks of gravel shift underneath her feet. A dirt road. No tracks. No train. No Hilde.
"Hilde!" Ann yelled, looking around feverishly.
"Hilde!"
A dog barked in the distance, followed by deep voices shouting. German. Ann shut her mouth and clasped her hands tightly over it. She didn't like dogs. Especially ones that sounded like that and she didn't want to see those men the dog belonged to either. She had to find the tracks. She had to find her sister. But instead of a train track, Ann found a small barn with two horses and a pig inside. It didn't stink as much as the train had and it was better than being outside in the dark. She cried until her eyes succumb to exhaustion. The sun hit her face the next morning and Ann left the barn, after stealing a drink of water from the trough the horses drank from, in search of her sister.
Two days later and still no sign of a train. Even if she found a railway station, would it lead her to her sister? She didn't dare to ask anybody. Everybody seemed to look like the people who shot her mother and put her on that train in the first place. Men with guns and barking dogs.
One night, exhausted, famished and parched. Ann curled up into a ball, rocking back and forth at the back of a stable. That's when she heard it.
Loud screeching. Banging of pipes. Screams. Then a bright light. Raising her arms, she tried to hide the blinding brightness from her eyes.
"Austeiggen!" A voice shouted.
She didn't have much of a choice as everybody else pushed her forward. Stumbling out of the train the first thing she did was take a deep breath in. Fresh air.
"Aufstehen!"
She hadn't even noticed falling to the ground, finally able to touch something other than sweaty stinking people. "Hannah..." She whispered.
Hannah? That was her name. Why would she say her own name?
"Wir sind voll."
"Du weißt was zu tun."
Everyone started walking. Guns went off, more yelling. Up ahead she saw a wooden building. Smoke or steam was emerging from the roof. Through a narrow door they were all pushed inside. A cold wave hit her as her dress fell onto the floor.
"Laufen!" A female voice barked angrily. "In die Dusche."
A shower? Why was it dark? Why were all the women and children in here? To save time? The train had been incredibly filthy. A shower would be very welcome. To get clean, to get warm.
A door fell shut in the back and a hissing sound escaped from the pipes up above. But there was no sign of water. Were the showers broken? She blinked once. Twice. This wasn't working and it was too crowded. She had to get out. Lowering herself to the ground, she blinked again and the cramped room was gone.
A chilly wind hit her bare skin. Looking up she could see the wooden building in front of her again. Only this time there was no smoke coming from it. Rubbing her upper arms, she turned around and staring right at a group of confused looking people in uniform.
"Wie kamst du da raus?"
She didn't have time to answer. A loud bang had gone off and the last thing she saw was the dark starry sky up above.
"I'm so sorry."
Ann opened her eyes and looked at the man in front of her.
"Oh, Ann..." Charles reached for her face and gently wiped his thumb across her left cheekbone. "God in Heaven, I'm,-"
He paused and without warning wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close against himself. "I'm such an idiot. I should have realized."
His words faded. Ann wasn't sure if it was because he'd started muttering or if she was ignoring him. She'd blocked most of this memory from her mind. She knew Hilde had died at the camp, that she was shot in the last few seconds of her life. But she had never remembered the rest so vividly. Standing on that dirt road, searching for the train tracks. Hilde dying. It must have been the first time she'd ever used her powers to look through someone's eyes.
"Forgive me." Charles said.
Instead of answering, Ann moved her arms and placed them behind Charles's back. Closing her eyes once more, she rested her head against his shoulder. Letting somebody, even that somebody was Charles, hold her for a moment. After all, nobody had been able to do so back then, and she had needed that embrace of sympathy and comfort for a long time.
Okay, a chapter with only these two and perhaps it ended a bit abruptly, but I need it as a jumpstart into the next chapter.
Hope you're all still with me!
Here are the German translations (please correct me if I'm wrong):
Austeiggen! - Get out
Aufstehen! - Get up
wir sind voll. - we are full
Du weißt was zu tun. - You know what to do.
Laufen! - walk
In die Dusche. - Into the shower
Wie kamst du da raus? - How did you get out?
Please leave a message, would love to hear your thoughts. Until next time!