Hey everyone! Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Before we continue, I'd like to make a short statement regarding the main character of this story.
A couple of readers have mentioned the recent controversy surrounding public statements made by J.K. Rowling. (Who as you know, is someone Terone idolizes) I will say here, I know about it, and I do not agree with, approve of, nor condone what she said.
Does that mean I am less of a fan of her works as a result? No. Because I still regard her works as excellent.
You see, it's perfectly okay IMOHO to disagree with a creator and still enjoy her work. At very least, Rowling is not a politician trying to pass anti-trans laws, and I can at very least understand how some might find the subject matter an uncomfortable topic.
As a comparison, consider another author whose works I admire, H.P. Lovecraft. Most scholars and critics when asked their professional opinion will claim he was a man with issues. Then they'll give you their personal opinion and tell you he was a tangled-up mess of issues in a man-shaped container. Chronically depressed, hypersensitive to criticism, prone to fits of anger, agoraphobic, a nervous wreck, a luddite and reactionary, and a bigot even by the standards of the time, Lovecraft was, to put it lightly, not a nice person. Sadly, this even shows in his work when you read original versions, where a lot of the human villains in his stories are minorities.
But his stories were still excellent, he practically invented the cosmic horror genre, and inspired a continuity that is still popular to this day.
Now, the last thing I want to do is turn this fanfic into a political soapbox (I'm no good at it anyway) and the Harry Potter connection is too much ingrained in Terone's character to get rid of. If outcry becomes greater and more readers are genuinely offended by the inclusion, I might tone down references to the franchise. For now, though, I do not plan on any consistent changes to the story.
So, unless you have a party to go to (and I guess you wouldn't be here if you did) grab a margarita and a fish taco (or beer and pizza if that's what floats your boat) cause BLOCKBUSTER continues!
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Chapter Five
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A Plot Took Hold
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Now, you're probably wondering just who in the world this Monty Haile character is. Well, to be honest, "character" is a lot more fitting here than you may think, and while he is one of the most, uhm, what's the word here… exuberant duelists I've ever known, I really have no clue at all what his deal is, even though he's been my opponent in three matches. Best I can tell is, he's a jobber.
Yes, yes, I know, I've said before that pro dueling is not the scripted farce that pro wrestling is, but there are similarities. If anything, Monty is as showy and flashy as the typical wrestler; in fact, I wouldn't be surprised to learn he moonlights as one. His deck is rarely very powerful but almost always has cards selected to make the biggest visual impression. I do believe his job might be to make other duelists stand out, or possibly function as a test to make sure his opponents can stand out.
The first time I dueled him was, in fact, the first time I did so in front of an actual audience, as the final part of orientation, before my contract with Frantisec had been finalized. I also had dueled him right before I was due for contract renegotiations. Coincidence? Maybe, but at least both those times his deck wasn't too great, using Worms the first time and Dark Scorpions the second. I've also seen him use Cloudians and Vampires, and I've heard stories about him using Ojamas and Vylons.
Though, I've often seen times when he's had pretty decent decks, and these times I suspect his job was to embarrass duelists who had gotten too full of themselves. It happens from time to time.
What was it this time? This would be the third time I would duel him, so it seemed I would find out.
"Covent Garden Piazza, eleven-thirty. Better get going."
"Woah, hold on, flyboy," said Jenni. I turned and caught the envelope she tossed to me. "Special delivery!"
Oh yes, yes, I thought. I had been waiting for this to come, it was the final component I needed. But I hadn't expected it to come for another two days.
"Someday you have got to tell me how you do that."
"I have to keep some things secret, Terone. "Good luck." As I left the apartment, I heard her add, "Break a leg!"
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Covent Garden was a shopping and entertainment hub on London's West Side, a collection of stores, open-air vendors, and restaurants, all having grown out of a farmers' market in the center, which the whole district was now named after. It was popular with tourists, often being a first stop for anyone intending to go to the London Transport Museum or the Theatre Royal, both of which were conveniently nearby. The place was also known for street performance shows, which ran throughout the day - I hadn't gotten a chance to look at any schedule, but the Piazza didn't seem to be holding one at the moment.
Speaking of which, the Piazza was the unofficial name for the center hub, a large promenade, not as big or fancy as Trafalgar Square, but the same basic idea.
Well, here I am, I thought. I started to scan the crowd, hoping to gain sight of Monty - he wasn't exactly a subtle duelist and tended to stand out. This presumption quickly proved right.
"Ladies and gentlemen," came the voice over an intercom. "Duel Monsters fans of all ages! Fashion your seatbelts and assume crash position! Let's get ready to DUUUUUEL!"
There was a blast of pyrotechnics as the crowd parted. Monty strode forward, pandering to the crowd as he tended to do. This man never failed to be larger than life and the center of attention. He was a large, muscular black man with long dreadlocks. The only clothing he wore that seemed reasonably normal were his trousers, which were black leather. Other than that, he wore a silver overcoat covered with golden stars, with boots and a pork pie hat of the same design, along with mirrored sunglasses. He didn't wear a shirt under the overcoat, showing off his muscular torso and his numerous gold chains which, if actual gold (which I doubt it) would likely be worth as much as a car. He had gold rings on every finger too. Certainly, Monty Haile was a man who knew how to make an entrance.
"Hello London!" he announced. He blew kisses to the crowd while waving and then produced a large hand of Duel Monsters cards spreading them out and showing them off. "Welcome everyone! Monty is here, he's holdin' all the cards, and he's cashin' in his chips!" Then like some over embellished version of Gambit, he tossed the cards towards the crowd causing several of the younger spectators to scramble to grab them.
"That's impressive Monty," I said, "you actually managed to find an outfit even louder than you are."
"Well, well, looks like you actually showed up, Terone," he said with a laugh. "Seems I owe someone back home £10."
There was some brief laughter from the bemused crowd, but I wasn't about to let this show off take all the glory here. I stood up to confront him, as I always did.
"Wishful thinking Monty, and you can't buy your way out of this one." I activated my Duel Disk. "As a wise man once said, talk is cheap. Think you can put your money where your mouth is?"
Monty smirked, nodded and lifted his left arm dramatically activating his own Disk. And so, it began…
"GAME ON!"
(Terone: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (Monty: 8,000)
It dawned on me… The Piazza was indeed hosting a street performance right now, and it was likely being live streamed on the internet. It was strange, no matter how often I did this, the nervous feeling when a duel started was still there.
"You have the first move, Terone. Don't forget, you only have one chance to make a first impression."
As I drew my opening hand, it seemed that it was going to be much easier than he thought. The card Jenni had somehow gotten delivered early was right there. One of these days, I thought to myself, I'm going to be serious when I asked to marry her. Naturally that was the card I went for first.
As I played it, two skulls flew from the reproduction of the card, one with an aura of white hot flames wearing a horned helmet, the other with cold dark flames and devilish horns on the forehead. A slow, creeping shadow rose from the ground and a young female Spellcaster stepped out. She had a black halter with long, white, puffy sleeves and black gloves, the black parts of her top with runes made from gold embroidery; a blouse of the same black material reached to the floor (which she floated above) with a white train and a red, decorative belt. Her platinum blonde locks were tied in twin, waist length ponytails, held in place by large, black combs.
Amid a lot of whistles and catcalls from the crowd, she turned to me with a smirk and said, "Use my card, and I will appear! Now why have you called Chaos Witch here?" (1,500 ATK)
"WHOA." Monty lowered his sunglasses to look at Chaos Witch. "Now that is literally hot as Hell!"
"I suppose that answers my question," she said, giving him a dirty look.
"I'll set this card facedown and it's your move, Monty. Let's see what you have."
Monty made his draws and then set three of his cards. "Sorry Terone, but ah can't let you see these for now." A set monster appeared, then two set cards in his Spell Zone. "You're gonna have'ta find out on your own. So go ahead."
"You asked for it." I drew a card, then turned to Chaos Witch. "Let's do this."
She nodded, then floated off the ground while tracing her foot upon it, a magic circle appearing under her. With a spin and a flourish, she said, "Farwell!" and descended through it. Then, two of the darkness-enshrouded skulls emerged. (500 ATK)
"By sacrificing Chaos Witch, I get two Dark Beast Tokens. And now I can sacrifice them both…" I held my hand out, and both turned into shadowy wisps. "...for Tri-Horned Dragon!"
The ground rumbled, the pavement cracked, and a very large monster burst through the surface. Unlike the typical lithe and serpentine dragon, this one was hulking, a massive, hunched over beast with mauve skin and a red underbelly. It had three massive horns on its head, a row of them down its spine, and three on each hand and foot, acting as claws. (2,850 ATK)
"Now you're a big one, ain't ya?" said Monty, looking up at the Dragon's face.
"Bigger isn't always better." I took Chaos Witch's card from my Graveyard slot and placed it in a pouch on my belt (there for just such an occasion). "By banishing a Dark monster, I can also summon White Dragon Wyverburster!"
As its name implied, the monster that appeared this time was properly called a wyvern. It had wings and legs, but no arms; its scales were metallic blue, and it had a glowing, red orb in its chest. (1,700 ATK)
This, however, is where Monty used his Trap Card, something that always made me nervous. "Ah use A Rival Appears! Ah can Special Summon a monster from my hand that's the same Level as your monster, so ah'll bring out the Level 4 Scrounging Goblin!"
I suppose I should have been lucky he didn't have a Level 8 monster available right then. Still, for all Monty's flourish here, the result was… anticlimactic. The monster he summoned was the Goblin of Greed, but he had fallen on hard times; despite being in Attack Mode, he was kneeling, his once-expensive merchant clothing now torn, frayed, and dirty, holding the Pot of Duality. (1,000 ATK)
"How the mighty have fallen. Tri-Horned Dragon, you're up first, attack the set monster!"
Tr-Horned Dragon lunged forward, bearing its claws and ready to tear the hidden monster a new one. As is often the case when a set monster was defeated, I only got a brief glance of the monster before it shattered - sort of a large bird or bat with orange rings.
"Gale Lizard's effect activates!"
"Huh? What… Or damn." Tri-Horned Dragon in front of me disappeared, its card reappearing among my hand of cards. "That really bites…"
It was still my Battle Phase, so I turned my attention to Scrounging Goblin. "Attack with Brilliant Core Flash!" I shouted, and White Dragon Wyverburster spread its wings, blasting a ray of pure light from the core in its chest. At the last second though, Monty used his other set card - which happened to be Shrink - reducing Wyverbuster's Attack Score to 850. Scrounging Goblin leapt up, dodging the ray, and then clobbering Wyverbuster with the Jar! The Jar was smashed to pieces, but unfortunately, so was Wyverbuster.
(T: 7,150) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 8,000)
"Seems your Wyverbuster was busted, Terone, but you have somethin' else to worry about now. See, cause you took damage from that battle, ah get to use Scrounging Goblin's effect." Monty lowered his sunglasses again. "To wit, you either give me one of your cards from your hand, or I get to take any card I want from my deck with the name 'Goblin' in it. So, what's it gonna be?"
This wasn't good. There were many Goblin cards that were troublesome, Goblin Attack Force being an obvious example. Still, the cards I had right now I couldn't afford to lose, so I just said, "Uhm, I'll go with option two."
There was another problem he didn't mention - with no monsters in play, I would be open for a direct attack, but I did have a partial solution.
"Seeing as White Dragon Wyverbuster was, uhm, busted, I get to take this card from my deck." Brandishing said card, I used it, adding, "And by banishing a Light monster, like Wyverbuster, I can summon it now in Defense Mode, Black Dragon Collapserpent!"
This Dragon was, as its name suggested, a darker, feral version of Wyverbuster, with an orange underbelly and dark gray scales on its back and wings, its upper carapace being rough and pebbly. It had no arms or legs; Jenni had said this meant it was a type of dragon called an amphitheres, again showing her "inner nerd" with pride. For now, this one sat on its coils and covered itself with its wings. (1,700 DEF) "Your move, Monty," I finally said.
"Whoo-hoo!" he laughed, making his draw. "Time to initiate the key part of this deck, the Spell Card, Schematics of Greed!"
"A Ritual Spell?" Indeed, it was, and the last thing I wanted to deal with now was more Ritual Monsters.
"These schematics were first used by a goblin who found them in a stolen tome of dark magic," said Monty, gravely, "used to discern a method to create the first of a notorious forbidden artifact." He played the card, and a scroll unfurled, showing a chart with alchemical symbols and arcane writings, plus a rough illustration of a jug with a squinting, smiling face. "For this procedure, I need to banish a Flip-Effect monster from my hand or Graveyard that's at least Level 4." Gale Lizard quickly appeared, then dissolved into green smoke. "Get ready… I'm bringing out the Goblin Pottier of Greed!"
Again, it seemed Monty was using a strong delivery for a lackluster result. The monster that appeared might have been Goblin of Greed's grandfather, an elderly goblin wearing overalls, thick glasses, a headscarf, and had a short beard. Summoned in Attack Position, he was sitting lotus style. (1,500 ATK)
"Forbidden ar - wait, I assume he invented the Pot of Greed?"
"Not just that, Terone. Ah'm throwing the Celebration Party of Greed, and you are the guest of honor."
Field Spells can often be dramatic, and this time, it certainly was. As he used the card, the first thing that seemed to change was the floor, which turned to a red and white checkerboard pattern. Then, the sky turned from day to night, and twisted, dead trees sprouted on all sides of the promenade. Then… odd structures started to form around us. One was… It was a giant pastry carousel with cupcakes and scones. Another was a giant bowl with equally-giant fruit (one with a worm in it), and another was a huge plate of finger sandwiches.
It dawned on me what the idea was - this was supposed to be a giant table set for a tea party. The point was driven home when a nasty, cackling laugh echoed over the field, and a giant teapot behind Monty completed the ensemble, one with a goofy face on the front. The spout served as the nose, and it had a huge, toothy mouth.
"Damn, had I known, I'd have prepared a speech."
"Not a problem, my monsters do most of the talking for this party. First off, on the turn ah use this Field Spell, ah can discard a monster with the word 'Greed' in its name." He flipped the last card in his hand. "Like the Teacup of Greed." Discarding it caused two cards to come out of his deck. "In exchange, ah gain another such monster, plus a Spell Card with the words 'Pot of' in the name, like the Pot of Avarice here."
For a brief moment I didn't think that was a problem yet, as he needed five monsters in his Graveyard to use that Spell, but to my shock, he used it anyway.
"Wait, that -"
"When Schematics of Greed is in my Graveyard, ah can banish it, and any 'Pot' Spell Card becomes the Pot of Greed this turn, so long as I discard one card first. Ah'm sure we all know what Pot of Greed does, right?"
He pocketed the Ritual Spell, and the oversized image of the Pot of Avarice in front of him changed to that of the Spell Card that was symbolic of Greed. And yes, it was well-known what it did. After he made his two draws, another monster appeared next to Monty, a… broom with a crooked shaft and another goofy face with a toothy mouth on the bristles appeared next to him, making a throaty laugh.
"The card ah discarded right there was Sweep of Greed, and by banishing it, ah can take another Greed monster from my deck." He got what he needed, and then set all three of his remaining cards, one a monster, two in his Spell Zone. "Afraid ah won't be attacking this turn, Terone, so it's your turn. Oh, by the way, when this Field Spell is active, both players draw twice during their Draw Phase."
Of course, I wasn't going to object to an effect like that. The extra card gave me a total of six cards, but I still saw potential for improvement here.
"I'm using the Spell Card, Allure of Darkness. I first make two draws, then I banish a Dark monster from my hand." This Spell was often risky but could be lethal when used right. I quickly chose to banish Rare Metal Dragon, and then used my set card, Immortal Dragon, summoning the armored Dragon back to the field. (2,400 ATK) Then, moving Black Dragon Collapserpent's card on my Disk caused it to stand up and unfurl its wings in Attack Mode. (1,800 ATK)
"Let's try this again," I said, "Rare Metal Dragon, attack Scrounging Goblin! Flash Cannon!"
Rare seemed extra-anxious this time. It took a deep breath and exhaled a shimmering beam of energy at the defending Goblin, this time, to my shock, his Defense Score shot up to 3,500, causing the bolt to glance off and Rare to howl in pain as the backblast knocked it backwards.
(T: 6,050) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 8,000)
"Forgot about him, huh?" Monty was pointing at Goblin Pottier of Greed, and I noticed quickly that the Ritual Monster's Attack Score had fallen to zero. "Here's how it works, if Pottier here is in Attack Mode, his effect can decrease his Attack Score to nothing and then increase the Defense Score of another monster by the same amount. Or vice-versa. Now, about that effect…"
"HERE!" I shouted. This time I wasn't going to let him get another card from his own deck, so I tossed the Tri-Horned Dragon at him shuriken-style, though he easily caught it. Still, it seemed I had a free shot at Pottier anyway.
"Black Dragon Collapserpent! Attack Goblin Pottier of Greed with Shadow Core Flash!"
Unfortunately, it seemed Monty wasn't out of tricks just yet. "I activate the Quickplay Spell, Book of Moon!" he shouted, using one of his set cards. "I'm flipping Goblin Pottier to Defense Mode."
"Yeah, well, that may protect your Life Points, but it won't save him." And it was true, Collapserpent's beam of dark matter homed in on the set monster, blowing the goblin craftsman to little pieces.
"I activate Goblin Pottier's Flip Effect."
"Wait, what, a Ritual Monster with a Flip effect?"
"Why not?" said Monty, with a shrug. "For this Flip Effect, we both draw twice."
I suppose he had a point there, and again, I wasn't going to argue.
"My cards may be Greed, Terone, but that doesn't mean they can't share."
And it seemed Monty wasn't fooling around this time, so I seriously had to stop underestimating him. I set three cards in my Spell Zone, and said, "I'm done."
"Since Scrounging Goblin received that effect, he moves to set Defense Mode now." Pointing to the monster, it pulled a blanket over himself, turning into a set card. "Now, due to the Field Spell, I draw twice, and it's time to initiate the next part of my plan!
"First, by sending one card from my hand to my deck, ah can Special Summon the Teapot of Greed." Doing so created a replica of the Field Spell's giant teapot behind, though much smaller. (500 DEF)
"By summoning it that way, ah can special Summon another Greed monster from my deck, and ah think ah'll go with the Broken Chalice of Greed." The next monster to appear was a large, ceramic goblet, with the same silly face and a big crack on the cup. (1,000 ATK)
"Now ah have to take one card from my hand and place it at the bottom of my deck. That would be the cost for Teapot."
"These Greed monsters are sure big on effect costs."
"Well, you know the old saying, you need to spend it before you can earn it. Ahem, next ah'll flip my Tureen of Greed into Attack Mode."
The monster he had set his last turn flipped face up, it was a ceramic bowl of the type used for serving soup, with a ladle at the top, and again, with the silly face on the front. (0 ATK)
For some strange reason, looking at Monty's monsters, I felt an urge to start humming the song "Be Our Guest".
"Via this monster's Flip Effect," he continued, "I get to draw two more cards. Then, I can pay 1,000 Life Points and sacrifice it to summon this fellow, the Avatar of the Pot."
The Tureen puffed out its cheeks and the soup boiled and steamed, and then the steam seemed to consume the entire Tureen. The new monster that Monty had summoned was one I vaguely recognized, a statue of a muscular man with green skin wearing a kilt and sandals, his head being the Pot of Greed. (1,300 DEF) This card was almost never seen nowadays; its effect required the actual Pot of Greed, which as Monty had mentioned, was an illegal card.
(T: 6,050) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 7,000)
"Ah'll set one card," continued Monty, "and then ah'll sacrifice Avatar of the Pot andTeapot of Greed… and Broken Chalice of Greed…"
"No… bloody way… THREE sacrifices? You're serious?"
"As a judge," he replied, and indeed he was, a Duel Monsters card appeared above him in enlarged size, and the three monsters all turned into green orbs that shot up into the card one by one. Then it spun around and shattered into pieces, and a large, dark, hulking form started to appear behind Monty…
The monster, well, how do I describe this… If you're a fan of the old Dragon Ball Z anime, start with the dragon-genie Porunga, then make him ludicrously muscular and give him four arms. You might then be able to picture the Archfiend Lord of Greed. (3,000 ATK)
"Actually, Terone, ah could have summoned this big fella with only one sacrifice, but the more the better. First of all, his Attack Score is 1,000 per monster sacrificed. And now one of his effects activates, and ah can draw cards until I have four." He drew three times. "However, ah have to wait until my nextturn to use them. For now, because ah used Broken Chalice of Greed, ah can make a second Normal Summon this turn."
"Exactly how do you intend to Normal Summon a Level 8 monster without sacrifices?" I asked.
"Heh, someone is payin' attention!" he said with a laugh. "Yep, only card ah can use right now is this one you gave me, but -" Another Spell Card, the one he had set right before summoning Archfiend Lord of Greed, activated. "Ah got that covered too, Necro Sacrifice!"
This was weird. Two colorful streams of light spun from out of the Spell, and I stepped back when two monsters - the Avatar of the Pot and the Tureen of Greed - both appeared in front of me in Defense Mode. (1,300 DEF, 1,000 DEF)
"What the - why?"
"Because," chuckled Monty, "by sendin' them to your side of the field, they become the sacrifices. So now ah can summon Tri-Horned Dragon!"
It was only too true, the monster he had taken from me using that effect appeared, as nasty-looking as ever but still dwarfed by the Archfiend Lord of Greed. This was bad. Very bad. (2,850 ATK)
And as if that weren't enough, a tap on his Disk caused Scrounging Goblin to flip into Attack Mode again. (1,000 ATK) I was really getting sick of that guy.
"Time to attack, Archfiend! Attack Rare Metal Dragon with Cascading Gold Rush!"
The giant Fiend lifted its hand, palm upwards, and storm clouds rumbled, the sparks of lighting making them look like gray stone with veins of pure gold. Then those clouds burst, a downpour of hot, molten gold darting down upon the howling Dragon, piercing his metal hide before shattering.
Then Tri-Horned Dragon bellowed and lunged at Black Dragon Collapserpent, and with one swipe of its mighty claw, tore the smaller Dragon in two.
"Ow…" I grunted.
"Scrounging Goblin, attack -"
"NOT this time, Monty! I'll use Escape from the Dark Dimension, which I can use to bring a banished Dark monster back from the void."
My Trap lifted, and Chaos Witch leapt from it, doing a somersault and landing next to Hyozanryu. (1,500 ATK)
Again, she announced her entrance, "The winds of Chaos roil and churn! Use your Trap Card, and I return."
"Well, in that case, Goblin is gonna have to back off, but afraid ah've got one more effect to initiate before ah'm through here. By payin' 500 Life Points, ah can use the final effect of my Field Spell; none of my monsters can be attacked except ones with the word 'Greed' in their names, and you gotta attack the strongest one first."
(T: 4,400) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 6,500)
Which meant, of course, the only available target right now was the 3,000 Attack Point walking landmass in front of me. Just great. I made my two draws… and suddenly, got a burst of confidence. I had not only managed to draw Horntail here, but my favorite card as well. This was about to get interesting.
"Okay, Monty, that is just fine with me! First, I'm using the Spell Card, Dragon Shrine!" I fit the card into my desk, and then chose two Dragons from my deck. "I can use this to send a Dragon from my deck to the Graveyard, so I'll send Hyozanryu, and because that is also a Normal Monster, I can send a second, Darkstorm Dragon."
Once I had discarded both, I used one of my three facedown cards. "But with Hyozanryu, my Birthright Trap Card ensures he won't be staying there." There was a column of shimmering light rising upward, and a Dragon with glittering, diamond encrusted scales and a long horn on its snout rose, spreading its wings as the moonlight reflected off its magnificent hide.
Monty lowered his sunglasses to get a good look at it. "Whoo, now that is some wicked bling there, Terone!"
"I'm just warming up here, Monty! I banish Chaos Witch and Hyozanryu!" The two monsters nodded to each other, then vanished in ripples of light and shadow. "First of all, by banishing Chaos Witch this way, I gain two Light Beast Tokes." This time, two of the light-shrouded skulls with helmets appeared. (500 ATK x2)
"And, via banishing them, I summon Hungarian Horntail the Fierce Dragon!"
There was cheering from the crowd - which seemed to have grown in size since we started, something that was hard for me to discern due to the Field Spell - as Horntail dramatically appeared, with a triumphant roar that, for the first time, seemed to unnerve Monty a little. (3,400 ATK)
"Now I'll sacrifice my two Light Beast Tokens." The two small skulls turned to orbs of light and dissipated. "To summon this lady…"
The arena darkened, two ominous, cold, feminine eyes appeared, and a tall, imposing, intimidating woman came from out of the shadows, not so much walking out of them than drifting. She wore a long, maroon dress and an oversized golden and green collar with flared shoulders and a violet gem on the front, but the feature that most stood out was her oversized, decorative headdress. (2,900 ATK)
Monty looked up at Cosmo Queen. "Now that is one sick hat there!" he exclaimed.
Why do guys like this always use negative adjectives as complements? I couldn't think of a witty reply for that at the moment, but thankfully, Cosmo Queen chose that specific time to speak:
"Spoken by someone who dresses like a stolen car. I've seen fashion disasters before, but that one is apocalyptic."
I had to stifle a laugh there; I could really get used to this new system. "My sentiments exactly," I said. "I activate Ancient Rules! Now I can Special Summon a Normal Monster from my hand."
Placing the card caused the field to shake with a soft tremor. Then again, and again, louder each time. Finally, the monster appeared with a mighty leap over me and my other monsters, landing with a crash beside Horntail. Well, maybe it was more of a "hop" than a "leap", though it was a tremendous hop.
Rabidragon was an odd monster to say the least, a bizarre cross between a dragon and a giant rabbit. Its hide had draconic scales on its underbelly, neck, and limbs, but soft, fluffy white fur on its claws and the rest of its torso, with reptilian eyes under long bunny ears, and tusks to each side of its rabbit-like incisors. As it positioned itself, it stopped briefly to scratch its left ear with its hind leg, then roared at Monty threateningly, much like my other Dragons had. (2,950 ATK)
Jenni and I had a few discussions on just what this nature-gone-bonkers hybrid was supposed to be. Maybe an embodiment of the Moon Rabbit, maybe a creation of a mad scientist with an emphasis on "mad". In the end, we concluded that the most likely answer was that someone at I2 submitted it as a joke and whoever was in charge took the idea seriously.
"That guy ain't right," said Monty.
"We're fighting on a giant table set for a tea party, and you call this 'not right'?"
"Eh, touché."
"Like I said, if I can only attack him," I pointed up to the Archfiend Lord of Greed, "no problem. Horntail, attack with Infernal Soulfire!"
The Dragon exhaled a concentrated beam of white-hot flames, directly at the giant, right through the Archfiend Lord of Greed, blowing a hole through the demon's chest. Its eyes glazed over, and burning cracks spread all over its body, until the whole thing collapsed into a cloud of green dust.
"Hahahahaha!" laughed Cosmo Queen, "Looks like your Lord of Greed was just taken to the cleaners!" She turned to me, and I nodded; she narrowed her eyes and turned towards Tr-Horned Dragon, lifting her hand and focusing her own dark magic. "Sorry, Tri-Horn, you're either with us or against us, Cosmic Nova Purge!"
She lashed her hand forward, throwing a pulsating ball of crackling blackness that hit the Dragon and blew it to shards.
"Finally, my Rabidragon can hippity-hop all over your Scrounging Goblin's face! Go! Get it!"
The hybrid beast did so, leaping and high and then plummeting downward rear-first, landing on the defending Goblin and smashing him flat.
(T: 4,400) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 4,100)
"Now that's a novel way to kick ass," chuckled Cosmo Queen, "by using yours." As Rabidragon leapt back next to Cosmo Queen, she gave him a "high five" when he landed. Yes, I could really get to like this new system.
"I'm done, Monty. Seems you didn't initiate it the way you expected."
"Au contraire, Monsieur," he said, "it turned out just the way ah wanted. Cause now ah can initiate the final part of my plan with Archfiend Lord of Greed's second effect!"
Then, everything fell apart. A spectral version of Archfiend Lord of Greed appeared next to Horntail, and with all four arms, grabbed him!
"HEY!" I shouted. The Fiend didn't react to my shout, nor to Horntail's wailing as it was dragged over to Monty's side of the field.
"Good news, bad news time, Terone. Bad news is, that effect lets me take control of your Dragon. Good news is, it also reduces its Attack Score, all the way to zero."
Archfiend Lord of Greed dumped Horntail on the floor, causing it to slump down and bow its head, seemingly hurt and ashamed. (0 ATK)
"Okay, you are just not funny anymore!" shouted Cosmo Queen.
She was about to say something else, but I lifted my hand to express "wait"; obviously he had taken Horntail for a reason. "So, what exactly do you plan to do with it?" I asked.
"Ah'll get to that in a minute, cause there's more bad news here. As per the Archfiend of Greed's third and final effect, ah gain Life Points equal to the amount it lost, but, more good news, you get two draws. "Hey, share the wealth I always say. Who was it who said 'Greed is Good'?"
I made the two draws, and answered, "Gordon Gecko, except that's not what he said, everyone gets it wrong." Before he could ask the obvious question, I answered, "I'll tell you later, for now -" I looked at Horntail. "- it's your move."
(T: 4,400) - - - - - - - - - - (M: 7,500)
"Nice," he said, and again made two draws. "The final part of my plan starts with this card."
"That's Polymerization!"
"You got it! To summon this Fusion Monster, ah need Ancient Dragon an' another Dragon that's Level 7 or higher, but in this case, ah'll be usin' Goddess With the Third Eye for the first one."
The tall Fairy in a green, flowing robe and (naturally) a third eye appeared floating in mid-air. Her two regular eyes closed, the third one opened, and she turned into pure light, gradually taking a vaguely Dragon-like shape.
I could have kicked myself here - this duel wouldn't be happening if Monty didn't have one of the promotional cards, and given the rules, he was going to do his best to summon it. And he had - I was about to see it right now…
"I kill where I wish and none dare resist. I laid low the warriors of old and their like is not in the world today. Then I was young and tender. Now I am old and strong, strong, strong... ... My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!"
To be completely honest, I do not know if the Fusion Monster he summoned actually said those words right there, but they echoed through my mind as I looked up at it, a monster even larger than Horntail…
Like a frightened fawn cornered by a hungry tiger, I was staring into the eyes with Smaug, Dragon of Desolation…
To be continued…
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And now, the fanmade cards. As always, I will be omitting - for now - the ones whose effects went unused.
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Goblin Pottier of Greed (Ritual Monster)
Spellcaster/Earth/Lvl4/1,500/1,500
Effect: FLIP: draw 2 cards.
Can be Ritual Summoned with "Schematics of Greed". Once per turn (Quick Effect), you can activate 1 of the following effects depending on the battle position of this card:
Attack Position: Reduce the ATK of this card to zero to target 1 face-up Defense Position; increase the DEF of that monster by 1,500.
Defense Position: Reduce the DEF of this card to zero to target 1 monster in Attack Position; increase the ATK of that monster by 1,500.
The monster targeted by either is switched to facedown Defense Position at the End Phase of the turn. You can only use an effect of "Goblin Pottier of Greed" (not counting its Flip Effect) once per turn.
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Schematics of Greed (Ritual Spell Card)
Image: A large scroll written with handwritten diagrams, alchemical symbols, and a rough sketch of the Pot of Greed.
Effect: This card can be used to summon any EARTH Ritual Monster from your hand; if used to Ritual Summon "Goblin Pottier of Greed", you may summon the "Goblin Pottier of Greed" from your GY (this is considered a Ritual Summon). You must also Tribute monsters from your hand or field, and/or banish 1 Flip monster from your GY, whose total Levels equal the Level of the monster you Ritual Summon. You can banish this card from your GY, then discard 1 card and select 1 "Pot of" Spell Card in your hand; until the end of the next turn, the selected card's effect becomes "Draw 2 cards" and its name is treated as "Pot of Greed". You can only use this effect of "Schematics of Greed" once per Duel.
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Sweep of Greed (Effect Monster)
Thunder/Wind/Lvl2/200/0
Effect: If this card is added to the hand by a Spell/Trap card effect: You can target 1 monster and/or 1 Spell/Trap on the field; Special Summon this card, and if you do, destroy those targets. When a Normal Spell/Trap that lets you draw 1 or 2 cards is activated (Quick Effect): You can banish this card from your GY; add 1 non-WIND "of Greed" monster from your Deck to your hand. You can only use each effect of "Sweep of the Pot of Greed" once per turn.
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Celebration of Greed (Field Spell)
Image: A giant table with a checkerboard cloth, a giant version of Teapot of Greed dominating the background. To its left is a two-tiered display tray with cupcakes and scones and a plate of sandwiches. To the right is a bowl of giant fruit, one of which has a worm crawling out. The background depicts a forest at night with the full moon.
Effect: On the turn this card is activated, the controller may discard one "Greed" monster or "Avatar of the Pot" to take 1 "Pot of" Spell Card and 1 "Greed" monster from their deck, each with a different name than the discarded card. Both players draw an extra card during their respective Draw Phases. You can pay 500 LP: until the end of the next turn, your opponent cannot target monsters on the field for attacks or with their card effects, except the "Greed" monster you control with the highest ATK.
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Tureen of Greed (Effect Monster)
Rock/Water/Lvl2/0/1,000
Effect: FLIP: Draw 2 cards.
You can pay 1000 LP and Tribute this card; Special Summon 1 Rock-Type Flip Effect monster or 1 "of Greed" monster from your hand. If this card is sent from the hand or field to the GY: You can Set 1 "Pot of" Spell/Trap from your GY, then discard 1 card. You can only use each effect of "Teacup of Greed" once per turn.
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Teapot of Greed (Effect Monster)
Fire/Aqua/Lvl4/2,000/500
Effect: Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. You can select 1 "Greed" monster or "Avatar of the Pot" from your hand and place it at the bottom of your Deck: Special Summon this card from your hand, then you can Special Summon 1 "of Greed" monster or 1 "Avatar of the Pot" from your hand or deck. You can only Special Summon "Teapot of Greed" once per turn this way. Set Normal Spell Cards with the word "Pot of" in their names can be used during your opponent's turn. (Quick Effect)
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Broken Chalice of Greed (Effect Monster Card)
Earth/Aqua/Lvl2/1,000/0
Effect: If this card is Special Summoned via the effect of a "Greed" card, you may activate this effect: If this card is Tributed for the Tribute Summon of a Rock-Type Flip Effect Monster or "Greed" monster, you may make 1 more Normal Summon that turn; this second Normal Summon may not be used to summon a Rock-Type Flip Effect Monster or "Greed" monster.
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Archfiend Lord of Greed (Effect Monster Card)
Fiend/Earth/Lvl9/?ATK/?DEF
Effect: Cannot be Special Summoned. This card can be Tribute Summoned with 1, 2, or 3 monsters. The base ATK and DEF of this card each become equal to the number of cards Tributed to Normal Summon this card x1000. For each card Tributed, this card gains the following cumulative effects:
1 or more: When this card is Normal Summoned, you may draw cards until your hand consists of 4 cards, but you may not set, summon, or activate the effects of cards drawn via this effect that turn.
2 or more: When this card is destroyed by Battle, you may during the End Phase of the turn, take control of the monster that destroyed this card. Reduce its ATK and DEF to zero.
3 or more: If a monster's ATK is reduced to zero via the effect of this card, increase your Life Points by an amount equal to that monster's base ATK. Your opponent then draws 2 cards.