Chapter 121- Let Me Lie

*A couple quick things to note. First of all, I'm leaving a few early "Easter Eggs" in this chapter from some of Kevin's other Hallmark work (see if you can find them) and a slight dig from a line used in S9 WCTH (again- I'm not watching, but did receive information from a friend about the "bad review" Mrs. Thornton had for her book) and I felt the need to, in my own way, address it here.

The inspiration for this chapter's title comes from a guest reviewer way back in October who upon rereading the story (which at that time was only Chapter 1-58) was reminded of the song "Let Me Lie" by Hayley Westenra. Upon reading Chapter 58. The reviewer said "… I've loved the element of nature in Charlotte and Nathan's adventures, relationship, and healing, and feel like this song connects to that as well as their healing with one another through God." I unfortunately had never heard the song before this review, but upon listening I knew I wanted to include it somewhere in this story… when I neared the scenes I had outlined for this chapter… I knew this was where it would finally find a home.

Also… This was one of my favorite chapters to bring together. Not only does it have (in my humble opinion) some deep and meaningful conversations between Nathan and Charlotte sharing their hearts. I've also included a bit more of "my story" when Charlotte references her "music". It's a piece of my own experiences, heart, and faith I felt called to share through this FanFic.

Finally- STEAM! Alert! (Just at the end) So, if that is not your thing, I hope you will at least read the rest of the chapter and enjoy that part before Nathan and Charlotte… well- ya know. (Also, ninergrl6- maybe don't read at work… haha).

The last week of school brought a flurry of activities to Hope Valley, kicked off by the student's year-end recital for the congregation following Sunday services. Elizabeth had taken the lead in coordinating the practices and show. This allowed Nathan and Charlotte to sit in their usual place in the back pew of church. They both enjoyed the opportunity to simply be just another couple relishing in their child's performance.

The children sang a wide range of songs as a group with Angela providing much of the music. One of Charlotte's favorite performances was Cooper's solo of the hymn 'Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing'. He had a lovely voice and when paired with Angela on the piano, it was a piece that seemed to have an effect on everyone in the room.

On Tuesday, Mr. Landis had been invited to come and see the student's assignments as well as be the judge for the school's science fair. Charlotte was so proud of everyone's work. She loved that each student had chosen a project they were not only interested in, but downright passionate about. This was her favorite part of teaching, cultivating their passions and showing them that science existed in almost everything around them in some form or another.

Allie took home the third-place prize with her project over the flora and fauna of the region and how each piece played an integral part in the local ecosystem. For second place, Landis chose Timmy Lawson. Timmy was always one student Charlotte had a hard time convincing that science was fun. Then one day at recess, she had an epiphany. His project on the physics of baseball captivated all the boys' attention. Even her husband's. While Nathan made sure to show support for everyone's science experiments, he and Bill took extra time to analyze Timmy's project. Looking for any information that could give them the 'upper hand' in the next town baseball tournament.

The clear winner of the science fair, in everyone's opinion, was Angela Canfield. Over the past few months, Angela had seemed to inherit her mother's fascination with the medical field. She took it upon herself to reach out to Carson and Faith, who helped guide the girl through her project on blood types. Her case study was Nathan's transfusion he received following his surgery with the blood that Charlotte had donated. Her project helped to confirm that the husband and wife were a match on blood types and that was why the transfusion was successful. Although everyone seemed to understand there was a bit more divine intervention, than science, happening that fall night many months ago.

Charlotte was incredibly proud of the girl. She remembered her first full day in Hope Valley, when Angela had sat in Charlotte's row house and lamented to her how much she disliked the class subject. Now she was the young woman winning the school's science fair and being invited to present her project at the district event.

After the awards for the science fair were handed out and pictures taken for the paper, Landis again called attention to the front of the room. He had the results of last month's district testing that was completed, and he was happy to announce that Hope Valley had the highest-ranking score out of all the schools in the region. With the recognition he provided Elizabeth and Charlotte with a plaque for the school commemorating the students hard work and dedication throughout the year.

On Thursday, a very special package arrived at the mercantile, all the way from Cadotte Lake. The children were ecstatic to say the least. Warren had taken the time to individually respond to each of the students' letters. He was so appreciative of their thoughtfulness with the notes and the package that he wanted to do something for them as well. Since he knew they were studying about the area where he was posted, he sent them a few items to explain more about the region and the people he served. He expressed his wish to include photos of life in the North, but since he did not have a camera or a way to develop film, Warren could only include sketches he had drawn. Everyone was captivated by the pictures, they seemed incredibly life-like. As though the trees and the animals and the people would jump off the paper. Another one of Tremblay's hidden talents.

Charlotte had yet to post the last round of letters from her students to Warren, so as a thank you for his drawings, the students gathered for a group photo on the steps of the church that Carson quickly developed for them to send to Tremblay in the North.

Friday, on the last day of school, the student's hosted an open house for their families. Showing off their writing assignments, projects, and reports they had completed throughout the year. All the students, their younger siblings, parents, and the rest of the community were so proud of all their accomplishments, and it was a joyous celebration.

Charlotte found herself flooded by kind and sincere compliments. Hating to be the center of attention she continually directed the praise back to those it was most deserved for: the students and their parents. Charlotte knew her work as a teacher only went so far without the buy-in of her kids and the support of their parents. Hope Valley truly was a wonderful community that saw value and put emphasis on their children and wanted to see them grow in not only knowledge, but faith and love.

The fun culminated with a picnic down by the pond. As Charlotte was working at organizing everyone's contributions to the potluck, Nathan came up beside her and placed a gentle kiss on her temple. "Wow…" He said. "How lucky am I, that I get to be married to the teacher of the region's top school?

"You're married to one of the teachers," Charlotte softly corrected.

Nathan raised his brow as his fingers tightened slightly on her hip. "Elizabeth may also be one of the teachers, and she has always been good at her job, but there is something about this school since you've come to Hope Valley that is… it's different. Like a breath of fresh air. You need to take a step back and see the impact you have had on these kids. School isn't just something they have to do anymore, rather you have this way of relating their lives to their education." He tucked an escaped curl behind her ear. "Take Timmy for example, you were the one who pointed out baseball isn't just a game, there is science involved in the sport. Or the different things you are teaching the kids through Warren's special project. It all has deeper meaning. The kids are learning without even realizing it. You have a special gift, Mrs. Grant. And if you don't believe me, because you think I am too biased as your husband, I hope you will listen to the others. All day I've been continually bombarded with words of praise and love for you and what you do for these kids."

"Well, I could say the same thing about you Mr. Order of Merit recipient. I hope you know how lucky we are as a community to have you in our RCMP office and taking care of us."

Nathan smiled, before leaning forward and to give Charlotte a quick kiss "A love story between a Mountie and the local schoolteacher." He drew back with a wry expression. "You know, someone should write a book about that."

"I think there is only room in this town for one famous author and it is not me."

"For some reason I think Mrs. Nathan's work wouldn't lack depth and nuance like another teacher's novel I've read. It wouldn't merely scratch the surface of anything meaningful or profound."

"How do you know that?"

"I've read your writing, remember? In all the letters and notes you've given us. I have a feeling your novel's characters would be personal. Full of complexity and emotion. It wouldn't just be telling a story, it would be a beautiful and captivating tale of hope and love, but most of all faith."

"Maybe someday… But right now, I need to get back to taking care of all this food. And you Sarge…" She brushed a hand through his hair, straightening it where the early summer breeze had blown it askew. "I believe, are supposed to be providing the entertainment."

"Right." Nathan said. Faith and Charlotte had co-conspired to have their husbands play a few tunes together while everyone sat around for the picnic lunch. "Any song requests before I go, Mrs. Nathan?"

"You know my favorites," she winked and glanced around. Seeing that everyone's focus was elsewhere Charlotte turned Nathan towards the pond and playfully patted his backside. "Now, off you go."

"Whatever you say, teacher."

Saturday, after Nathan had returned to the ranch from making his rounds in town, he suggested that Charlotte might like to go on an outing with him. She wholeheartedly agreed. Allie was spending the weekend in town with Opal and all the other girls, celebrating the end of the school year. They had begged Nathan and Charlotte to have Remi stay for the festivities, and since Mrs. Weiss agreed, they had too.

"Should I go saddle, Bandit?" Charlotte questioned.

"No, I was thinking we could walk along the river to the far west end of the property. It's a beautiful, secluded spot and we haven't been there in a long time."

"I think that sounds perfect."

"If you want to pack a lunch, we'll celebrate the start of summer." Nathan said, so Charlotte pulled together a picnic out of the leftovers from the day before.

Soon they were meandering along the riverbank, through the meadow and the aspen grove to the denser pine trees. Nathan walked slower than his normal pace, not only to accommodate his wife's shorter stride, but rather they both wished to savor every minute of the day together.

When the sun crested in the sky and sent down warm rays, they came to the planned spot along the river. Nathan spread the quilt he had carried with them while Charlotte brought out their sandwiches. How good they tasted in the fresh air and sunshine, with the melodic sound of the river rushing by.

As Nathan and Charlotte finished their lunch and cookies, they leaned back into the blanket and stared up at the sky. The brightness made them squint as they watched the clouds form and shift.

"Look at that. It's a dragon." Nathan pointed above them at one cloud in particular. "You can see the head and the tail. The wings."

"How do you know what a dragon looks like?"

"I read…" He smiled. His slow, easy smile. "Remember, a few months ago I found that book in the library, called 'Dragon's Lair'."

"Mmmhmmm…" She hummed, glancing over at him lying beside her, before turning her attention back to the sky. "That's an elephant."

Nathan tilted his head slightly, analyzing the cloud again. "Fine." He conceded. "It's an elephant."

"That one right there." Charlotte pointed to another cloud. "A butterfly."

"Everything is a butterfly with you."

A melancholy look came over Charlotte. "Maybe that's because the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness and still have a life filled with indescribable beauty." She gazed over at him. "You helped me break free of my cocoon and your love helped me realize that I could spread my wings and fly."

Nathan took her hand where it rested beside him and squeezed it in reassurance. "Well, I'm glad you didn't fly away and instead decided to stay here. With Allie and I."

She simply gave him a tender smile in return, before laying her head back down to rest beside him, their fingers still entwined. They were comfortable in the silence and completely at ease with one another. Nathan twisted slightly to look over at Charlotte's profile. Her expression was relaxed. Peacefully happy. Her eyes were now closed as she soaked in the summer sun and fresh air. Nathan studied her freckles and the way her chocolate waves brushed against her cheek and full lips in the gentle breeze of the day.

Nathan leaned up on his elbow to reach out and stroke her hair. She didn't open her eyes, but a slow blissful smile crept across her face at his action. He trailed a finger down the length of her neck and slipped under the collar of her blouse. Charlotte's body clearly responded to his touch as he brushed along her ribs and came to rest on her stomach. His gaze moved to where his palm rose and fell naturally with each breath she took. How he longed for the day that their baby would grow right there where his hand rested. He couldn't wait to see the way Charlotte would glow with new life.

His heart twisted anytime he saw her with little Patricia. Nathan noticed, and understood, the look in Charlotte's eyes when she held the baby. He already knew being a mother fit his wife as naturally as breathing and he hated to admit it, but he too was starting to feel the pang of longing she had been expressing for months.

He detected a slight change in Charlotte since yesterday after the potluck. He and Carson had finished playing their guitars and were helping to clean up the picnic when a few squeals of delight sounded from around the punch table. Nathan glanced over to see a group of Hope Valley women, including Charlotte, hugging Faith.

"She must have told them," Carson said.

Nathan turned to the doctor and raised his brow in question.

Carson couldn't hide his smile. "We are going to have a baby."

"Congratulations, Carson!" Nathan shook his friend's hand. "That's wonderful news." At the same time, he felt his heart constricting in pain for himself and his wife. He glanced back over his shoulder to where the women were still basking in the Shepherd's good news. His gaze connected with Charlotte's, and he could tell that she was feeling the exact same thing he was. They were so excited for Carson and Faith, any baby was a blessing, but at the same time, they were wondering when it would be their chance to bring new life into this world.

They had spent a long time talking and praying together over the past months. They both wanted to expand their family. Nathan knew Charlotte would make a great mother, as he witnessed it every day with her interactions with Allie and her students. But Nathan found whenever he watched her with a child, he felt sorrow that it was not their own child she was holding or teaching.

"I think you should go see Faith," he had told her one night, a few weeks ago, after another long discussion over the topic.

"You're right," Charlotte admitted. "I've been putting this off too long. We have a qualified female doctor right here in town. I shouldn't keep finding excuses for not going."

"I can change my schedule and go with you after school tomorrow if you want."

"No, you were planning that trip to Benson Hills and Allie is working for a few hours in the afternoon at the switchboard. I'll be alright on my own. There's nothing you'd be able to do at the appointment anyway, except hold my hand," she tried to tease.

"Which I'd be more than happy to do, Charlie. You know that."

"I know you would." She kissed his cheek. "But I'm being honest. I'll be fine."

Reluctantly he had agreed. The next day, on his trip to Benson Hills and back, Nathan couldn't stop thinking about Charlotte and praying for their future. It seemed to be the longest day of his life.

When he got home, Nathan tried to read his wife's expression. Attempting to gauge how her time with Faith had gone, but Charlotte was vague all evening. She must have sensed his trepidation, because as they worked to clean the dishes off the table after dinner she reached over, brushing her hand along his forearm, until her fingers entwined with his. She gave him a small smile. "We'll talk soon." She had whispered.

That night as they crawled under the covers, Charlotte filled him in on her day. Faith had done her exams and ran a few tests but found no reason for them not to be able to conceive.

Nathan exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and felt his muscles relax. "That's good news."

Charlotte hesitated for what seemed like forever, which again brought a wave of concern over Nathan. To comfort them both, he circled his arm around her shoulders and brought her into his side where Charlotte rested her head on his chest.

"That is good news, right?" He said in almost a whisper.

"Yes. I suppose."

Nathan waited for her to continue her explanation.

"I guess it depends how you look at it," she said. "If we don't find a problem, then we cannot do anything to correct it."

She waited for his reaction, wondering if he had understood what she had just said. He did. There is nothing the doctors could do for them.

"So, Faith didn't give any explanation?" Nathan questioned.

"Oh, she talked and explained things I didn't understand, but by then I wasn't really listening. I had already heard all I needed to know, and I was just ready to get out of the exam room. I ended up going for a walk and before I realized, I had come to that fallen tree beside the stream. I hadn't been paying much attention to where I was going or what was around me. But I guess subconsciously, I was led there."

"Seems like we both get drawn to that spot when we need some time to think."

"I sat down and just gazed out at the water passing by and my mind began to clear of its fog." She worked to swallow the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry I asked you not to come today. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I realized then, with tears flowing down my cheeks, how much I wanted you. How much I wished I had you by my side. I should have taken you up on your offer and I'm so very sorry that I didn't. This is as much your journey as it is mine. No one else really understands how I feel other than you. Maybe if I had you there, you would have picked up on something Faith said. Or asked a different question. And we could have a plan or a next step or…"

Nathan sighed. "Is there no chance?"

"Faith didn't say that…" Charlotte's arms tightened around his torso. "She, like Rosemary, pointed out that sometimes these things can take a little while. There are so many factors that can throw off the timing. Stress. Diet. She also said it maybe could stem from my miscarriage."

Nathan felt tears flood to the corners of his eyes remembering that horrific evening almost two years ago. It was the night he almost lost his girls in the wildfire. Instead, Charlotte had rescued Allie with her quick thinking, only to suffer a miscarriage in the process. The loss of their child and the fear of losing Allie and Charlotte had almost broken Nathan and tonight those memories seemed like a festering wound that wouldn't heal.

"My cycles have been a little inconsistent since then, but…" Charlotte trailed off.

"But, what?" Nathan could tell she suddenly didn't want to continue. "Please, tell me."

"But… she said it could be… other things." Charlotte took a deep and shaky breath and Nathan noted the internal war she waged. She was unable to finish, but Nathan could fill in the blanks well enough.

Other things meant him.

Of course. It made sense. Charlotte had been pregnant before. From one horrific moment, but that moment was all Beck had needed. Nathan felt himself shudder at the thought. His pain was quickly replaced by a feeling of anger at bringing McEntire back into their relationship.

Charlotte read his reaction. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I shouldn't have said anything… I should have…"

"No." Nathan cut her off, his fingers gently tracing along her hairline. "No. I asked, and I appreciate your honesty. You are right. No one else really understands how I feel about this other than you. It's nice to have someone. To be in this together."

"I didn't want to say anything about that. I didn't want you thinking I was blaming…" She again paused to collect her thoughts. "This isn't either of our faults, Nathan."

He just nodded his head. He knew she was right, but the wound was still fresh for him. He needed some time to process the information and pray. His heart wasn't much lighter, but it did help to have shared their pain and longing with one another. They were working on it and talking. Perhaps the answer was near at hand.

She had kissed him then. "You know what I've found solace in since my time at the stream? I was reminded of Psalm 27 verse 14."

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord."

"God knows when the time is right. He's proven that over and over for us. Why should we believe this is any different?"

Nathan was suddenly pulled from his deep thoughts and memories when Charlotte's hand ran gently over his where it still rested across her stomach. Her simple action quickly brought him back to the present. She brushed her thumb lightly over his knuckles before folding her fingers into his palm to give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. His eyes moved from where she held his hand, back to her face. She was studying him. Easily reading his thoughts.

Charlotte broke the silent moment and in turn changed the unspoken subject that hung heavy between them. "Have I ever told you about my music?"

His brows furrowed, unsure of what Charlotte was alluding to. He knew she sang, and played the piano and guitar some, but he had a feeling that wasn't the music she was talking about.

Charlotte again closed her eyes, seeming to focus and savor the world she lie in. "Do you hear it, too? The music the earth makes all around us." She smiled. "I hear all the sounds in my head, and it comes together into music."

"Music, huh?"

"Yes, music." Charlotte nodded her head. "I hear the sound of the river rushing over the rocks. And I hear the wind as it blows through the trees and causes the aspen leaves to dance. And the wildlife. The birds, the wolves, the horses, even Remi makes her own kind of music."

"I'm not sure that's music you're hearing from Remi," Nathan teased which earned him a playful slug on his arm from his wife before she continued, choosing to dismiss her husband's jokes.

"I hear the music in the rain on our roof during a storm or the crunch of new fallen snow under boots." Charlotte opened her eyes again and their gaze caught. "But most of all… I hear it in Allie's laughter or your sweet whispers at my side. They fill my soul with such beautiful music. They are songs that I know can't be recreated because the all come from in here." She gently tapped a finger on her chest directly over her heart.

"Have you always had this music?"

Her hand had found his forearm and began to gently glide up and down its length. "Except for one period of time, yes."

Nathan studied her for a moment. "Your attack?"

She nodded her head. "Looking back, I knew it was fading away after my parents died and when I moved to Potter's Creek, but the night of…" Charlotte's voice broke. "That was the first time in my life my music was gone. Completely gone."

"You had just gone through something traumatic, it's understandable that listening to the sounds of nature wasn't what you needed to focus on."

"It wasn't that. I don't know… It's hard to explain really, but for me that music has always seemed to be a way that God has talked to me. It was His way of letting me know everything would be okay and after my attack… it wasn't there anymore." Charlotte worked to control her emotions. "And you know what? It probably was there, but I just wasn't open to hearing it because… in those days I wondered why the God I thought I knew. The God I thought loved me… Could let something like that happen."

A lone tear escaped down her cheek which Nathan brushed away.

"I remember that first Sunday I was in Hope Valley. A battle waged within me. The thought of going back to church and back to God… It was overwhelming, but I knew that if I didn't go then… I never would. I was late and the church was so full, and I just felt like such an outsider. I was about ready to turn around and head right back out the door to the safety of the row houses when…"

"Allie stopped you." Nathan remembered the day vividly. He hadn't noticed Charlotte come into church until Allie spoke her name. He turned then and saw her standing in the back just as Cooper finished ringing the bells. Nathan noted that she had looked anxious, but somehow, at the same time, on the edge of revival. Charlotte's hair was freshly washed and styled, and she wore the most beautiful green long-sleeved blouse with matching skirt that accentuated her curves and skin tone. It was an effortless look, probably clothes she had worn for years, yet Nathan was quickly discovering the beauty in her simplicity. He could tell Charlotte didn't even realize how she could light up a room and inspire people just by being herself. Even in what she had so often termed her brokenness. She was magnetic and everyone, most of all him, seemed to be drawn to her aura. Even then.

"Yes. You and Allie offered to let me sit with you." Charlotte ran her fingers through his hair, brushing the stubborn lock off his forehead. "Looking back now, I'm not sure I ever thanked you both for that kindness."

"I was so upset with myself for not being a good neighbor and inviting you to walk with us to church."

"Don't be. The way I was then… it would have been hard for me to say yes to the invitation," she answered honestly.

"Well, I'm glad you said yes to sitting with us in church, and every Sunday since then." He brushed his lips over her temple, which earned a soft sigh of contentment from Charlotte.

"I hadn't even realized that I was wringing my hands together until Allie reached over and placed hers on top of mine. When I looked up, you both gave me smiles of support and in just that simple gesture, I was able to settle a bit of my nerves in order to concentrate on the church services."

"Do you think that Joseph already knew about your past that day? I remember the readings he chose and the sermon he gave seemed very fitting for… what you were going through."

"I imagine so. I've never asked him, but I remember him preaching about being brokenhearted. About how even though scripture doesn't provide the easy answers for why bad things happen in our lives, what it does provide is truths to cling to in those times."

"Deuteronomy 31:8… The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

Charlotte simply nodded her head in agreement. "Joseph reminded me that when we are at our lowest- overwhelmed, brokenhearted, crushed in spirit- He is nearest. He is with us, supporting us and walking along in our trials. His presence doesn't answer all our questions. It didn't take away the problems or make everything okay. But his greatest gift was showing me I didn't have to go through it alone. Not anymore. Not only was He with me. But He had, in His own way, guided me to Hope Valley. To this school and community and ultimately… to you and Allie."

"Is that when your music returned? That morning at church?"

"Yes. I think it started to." Charlotte took a deep breath. "But the day I truly remember hearing it again was when we took that first ride up to the meadow and you showed me the waterfall and field of forget-me-nots. That whole day I just kept wondering if this was what life could be like. With you and Allie. I think that was the day I started letting my heart open up to the idea that I could find happiness with you both and I think when I started letting myself think that way… God's music returned to me."

That statement didn't surprise Nathan. He had known from early on that Charlotte saw God in everything, but she always seemed to feel closest to him in nature. She saw, and now he knew she also heard Him, in the wind and the rain and the earth. She saw Him in the flowers and plants that were growing and in the nature of the animals that inhabited their land. She had found peace here in Hope Valley and for that he would always be grateful.

His gaze locked intently with hers and she reached up to gently cup the side of his face. Her thumb stroked his stubbled cheek, tracing the ridges and lines of his face she knew intimately.

"Nathan…" She breathed his name.

Slowly, he lowered his face to hers. He savored her mouth, nipping, tasting, cherishing. The way she clung to him and kissed him back was almost more than he could stand. He trailed a few more light kisses along the side of her mouth, her cheek, and down her neck before pulling his face several inches from hers.

He released his hold on her hip and raised himself up. With a heavy sigh, he said. "I should take you home."

"Nathan." Charlotte grabbed his upper arm, stopping him from moving further away from her. "Nathan… I… I want to be with you… here."

His eyes turned large and round, the deep blue pools shimmering with need. "Are you sure?"

Charlotte didn't answer with words, instead she placed her palms on his chest, feeling the strong beating of his heart, hooking her thumbs under Nathan's suspenders she shed them from his shoulders, before trailing her touch lower, curling into the fabric of his Henley, and pulling it loose from the waistband of his pants. Her hands slid under the shirt, feeling along the rise and ridges of his torso. Tracing the contours of his chest, exploring his firm skin over taut, solid muscle. She removed his shirt, helping him slip the garment over his head and let it fall to the ground beside them. She inched her arms around his waist, her fingers exploring their way along his chiseled back, arms, and shoulders with feather light touches. He shuddered and Charlotte marveled at the desire she felt in the moment. How could a man this big and strong, be so tender at the same time?

She smiled seductively, pulling her own blouse from the confines of the waistband of her skirt, deftly working her fingers along the buttons as she watched Nathan devour her with his eyes and groaned. "You're so beautiful." His voice was raspy as she quickly finished removing her own clothing.

"Nathan…" she whispered as her arms crept up around his neck, and she pulled herself to him.

"Hmm?" He asked absently, and stroked his thumbs along her sides and chest, causing her to find it harder and harder to breathe.

When Charlotte didn't respond, he paused his kisses along her clavicle, to pull back slightly and look into her eyes. He hesitated for a moment. Searching her face, he waited for her to tell him to stop, waited for her to stiffen. They were far from the sanctity of their home; he wasn't sure if she would truly be comfortable with this. When she did neither, his lips brushed hers gently, and Charlotte let out a soft moan.

Suddenly, in one quick movement, Charlotte pushed strongly on his shoulders at the same time she used her body and legs to roll Nathan onto his back, pinning him beneath her. A sound of delicious surprise escaped him at her actions as his eyes locked onto hers, and he pulled her into his arms.

She slid her hands up and around his neck, inhaling his masculine woodsy scent as Nathan's mouth found hers again. While the kisses a moment ago had been full of hunger, she now kissed him with agonizing slowness and deliberation, coaxing his lips apart as their tongues met. Her head spun dizzily as shockwaves of desire reached each and every one of her nerve endings. She would have collapsed from pure pleasure if Nathan hadn't wrapped his arm more strongly around her waist.

After several tantalizing minutes of exploring his mouth, Charlotte trailed her lips all over his face and down his neck as Nathan's hands slowly moved up and down her back, caressing her tenderly, almost reverently. She shuddered under his touch. Goosebumps erupted all over her skin.

"I love you," Nathan said huskily against her lips.

"I love you." She squeezed her eyes shut at the sensations he awakened in her body. She wanted to say more, but nothing else felt adequate for the things her husband made her feel. Anything else seemed impossible as his hands, mouth, and body made her come alive.

Charlotte sat up, and took the lead, like she always seemed to do with their shared firsts. She placed her palms on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin and the strong beating of his heart against her touch at their uniting. His hands moved across her flat stomach and up her ribcage, supporting her as they came together. Riding through the waves of passion until they were both spent.

She moved to his side, and snuggled herself against him, her head resting on his chest. Nathan glanced down at her, a thoroughly satisfied grin on his face.

"Charlie Grant…" He kissed her forehead and caressed her face. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you with words how much you mean to me. Or how much I care about you. Or how every moment of every day with you I feel happier and more loved. Even after all this time, it just doesn't seem possible."

Charlotte's heart twisted at his admission and tears sprang to her eyes. "Does it make you feel any better that I feel the exact same way?"

"Yes." He gave a short laugh. "It does." His eyes roamed over her face and his hand moved to gently caress her shoulder and arm.

She raised her eyes to gaze into his. The warm glow she saw told her everything she needed to know. "When you look at me like you are now, I don't think words will ever be necessary." Her hand came up to touch his face. He covered it with his own. "It's like you are speaking right to my heart, Nate. And I don't know how to explain it, or even if it needs an explanation. Everything I need to know I can tell just by the way you smile at me. Or touch me." Charlotte ran her hand down his jaw and along his neck, curling some strands of his hair around her fingers. "It's the simple truth I see in your eyes when your heart talks to mine."

"And what's my heart saying right now?"

"That we are so incredibly blessed, finding someone who loves us so selflessly. So completely. It's a wonderful feeling, Sarge, having this emotional connection to someone. I know it wouldn't be possible with anyone else. Only between you and me."

"Always." His kisses down her neck and his hands on her bare skin sent renewed ripples of desire through her. Nathan drew back slightly, his eyes heavy with passion. "As much as I loved having you here…" A grin spread across his face as he traced the freckles along Charlotte's shoulder. "We'd better be getting on home."

They stood and dressed. Packing up their supplies before Nathan reached out and took Charlotte's hand.

"Thanks for our outing," Charlotte smiled at Nathan with deep appreciation. "I needed that."

"I needed it, too," he said. "I wish we could do it more often, Charlie. You're great company."

"Why, thank you, Sergeant Grant," she teased. "Now that summer is here, I'll see if I can fit you into my crowded calendar again sometime."

Nathan gave her a wink and a smile, and they headed for home.