Chapter 139- Never Leaving You

*After some of the first reviews with yesterday's chapter poured in, I added a quick author note to that end of that chapter for some clarity, but I thought I better add it here too for anyone who may have missed it…

Charlotte was being VERY truthful to Nathan… She did NOT go into town to talk with Dylan or Drake. She realized before she left the house that she couldn't go through with it. Even for Allie, she couldn't bring herself to go against her husband's wishes that she knew he gave to keep her safe and out of harm. She just felt conflicting guilt over thinking she should and letting down Allie all at the same time.

Drake's late-night visitor will be addressed her soon.

For this chapter- Yeah… you may want a box of tissues handy. Sorry…

"Dylan. Open up."

Nathan heard heavy footsteps on the other side of the door a moment before it opened, and Dylan leaned against the frame. "Good morning to you too, brother."

"We need to talk." Nathan brushed past Dylan and walked further into the boarding room.

"Should I make sure that my lawyer is present for this?"

"Do you really think you need him?"

"I don't know. The last time you came to me like this, you set a trap with a handful of your Mountie buddies."

"It's just me today. Like I said, we need to talk."

"Nothing you say is going to make me change my mind. Allie is coming with me today."

"I figured you'd say as much."

"Then why are you here, if not to try and change my mind."

"To appease Charlotte. She wanted to come here last night and talk some sense into you… Or Drake."

Dylan swallowed the lump in his throat that suddenly caught when he thought about what could have happened with Drake if Charlotte would have showed up at the saloon last night. He quickly shook the image from his head. "So, you're not here to try and convince me that Allie should stay with you and Charlotte?"

"Would it work if I did?"

"No."

"I can see Allie got one thing from you. Pure stubbornness."

"Nah, that's a Grant family trait for sure." Dylan teased. "I remember this one time with Colleen…" Dylan caught himself from going any further. He hated when memories of Colleen came charging out of nowhere. It did nothing but cause him pain.

Nathan caught the change in Dylan at the mention of his late wife. "It's okay." Dylan's expression softened. "It's okay to remember her. It's okay to talk about her. Not that I want to give you any parenting advice, but Allie would appreciate knowing more about Colleen. Maybe you can help her with that."

"Nathan, I don't…"

"I used to be the same way. When Allie first came to live with me, all I saw was Colleen in her and it hurt to have that constant reminder of what I lost. What she had lost too."

"You said you used to. You don't think of Colleen anymore?"

"Oh no, I still think of her every day. With something Allie does or a look she gives me that reminds me of her mom. Or maybe it's something Charlotte says in passing that was an expression of my sisters too. Those little everyday things that let me know Colleen is still right there with us. At some point though, those memories of Colleen, they didn't haunt me anymore. They were like a warm blanket that brought me comfort. That in some way, she was still with me. And Allie. And even Charlotte." Nathan smiled thinking of the recently discovered shared past between his family and his wife's.

Dylan moved across the room, distracting himself with packing the last of his things into his travel bag. He had missed this. This easy comradery he and Nathan had shared at one point before things got… hard. Suddenly he had visions of what it could be like if he stayed here. If he tried to make amends with the only family he ever really had. He pictured it. The Sunday dinner in the house Nathan built out at the ranch. Allie, Archie, Maise, around the table with him. Joking with Nathan. Enjoying Charlotte's kindness and easy smiles. It was the same feelings that had creeped in at Charlotte's birthday dinner.

Dylan shook his head. He had to get rid of those foolish ideas. He had one purpose in all of this and that was to get Allie back. He had succeeded and now it was time to leave. He couldn't have these sudden desires making him forget the real plan.

Dylan remembered his brother-in-law's open wound he inadvertently discovered the last time they had dinner and decided to expose it again. "Thanks for all the fatherly advice, Nathan. But last I checked; you don't have any kids."

Nathan was not going to be easily baited today. "Not according to the law perhaps, but Dylan, Allie was right in everything she said yesterday in the courtroom. A piece of paper does not make a father any more than a single night of intimacy can. Being a dad is a lifelong commitment. Are you willing to do that?"

"You can't stand in my way. The law says…"

"Maybe now, but Charlotte and I will never stop fighting for custody of our daughter. No matter how long it takes. Allie's happiness and safety are what I care about most. If you are thinking like a true father, that should be what you care about too. Is it?"

"Of course, it is."

"Then why are you doing this? And it better not be just to hurt me. Or for your own benefit. As a dad your only reason should be for your child. Are you doing this for her? To make her life better? Because I don't see how taking Allie away from everything she knows, and loves is going to do that. Living in some apartment in the city with a man she's been told is her dad but has no reason to believe that's true."

"And whose fault is that? You're the one who denied me a chance to get to know her. You're the man who set me up and put me in jail all those years ago."

"That's right. Blame me."

Dylan moved towards the window in his room. Distracting himself with the movement of the people and horses coming and going from the livery below. "I do blame you."

"You're never going to be able to get past your own demons until you start taking responsibility for your actions. It didn't have to be this way, but you're the one that made that choice. You gave up on Allie a long time ago. You think that with the swipe of a judge's pen she is going to see you as anything less than the man that ran out on her when she needed you most? You think that's going to make up for all the years of missed Sunday school programs, or science fair projects, or camping trips. I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I had worrying about her. Worrying about if something happened to me, what would happen to her? Did you ever think that way Dylan? Did you? Because until you do… you can't call yourself a father."

"You think you're Allie's perfect dad?"

"No." Nathan shook his head as he stared down at his boots in desperate need of a shine. "I'm far from perfect, Dylan. I fail Allie daily. Usually one way or another, but she doesn't need a perfect dad. She just needs one who she knows will always be there. Who loves her unconditionally and will be a consistent presence in her life. That's all any child needs. It's not the newest toy or biggest house or best clothes. It's the knowledge that she knows…" Nathan's voice cracked, and he struggled to hold back his tears. "That she knows you'll never leave her."

The silence stretched between the two men for a long time before Nathan took his cue to leave. Pausing for a moment with his hand on the door, Nathan mumbled into the wood without turning back to look at his brother-in-law. "Dylan, please don't cut us off from Allie's life completely. Let her write to us and let us write to her in return. Maybe a phone call occasionally. I'm not asking for myself, but for Allie. And my wife. They've grown close. Allie… She still needs a mother in her life and Charlotte's a good one. Please. I've never asked you for anything before…"

"I'll have Allie send a letter when we get to Edmonton. It will have an address for the apartment we're staying in." Dylan stopped for a moment before continuing. "And Wednesday afternoons."

"Wednesday afternoons?" Nathan twisted to look over his shoulder. Dylan was still standing at the window, looking out at the world below.

"For your phone calls. They can't be long as I don't have a lot of extra money, but the general store that's on the first floor of our building has a phone. I can ask the owners if Allie can use it to call you and Charlotte."

"Yeah," Nathan stuttered. "Yeah, Wednesday afternoons. I'll- We'll make it work." He shook his head in disbelief. "Thank you."

As Nathan started to twist the doorknob, Dylan's voice stopped him. "And Nathan."

"Yeah?" He turned back around to see Dylan facing him now.

"Nothing…"

"Okay?" Nathan furrowed his brow, but again went to take his leave.

"No… it's not nothing." Dylan took a few steps closer and again stopped. Clearly warring inside himself. "It's about Charlotte."

Nathan's muscles instantly tensed. "What about Charlotte?"

"Just… I think it's better if she stays away from Drake when we get ready to leave town today."

"What are you talking about? Did he say something?"

"No." Dylan lied. "No… It's just. You saw how he was with her yesterday, and I think you know what all the papers write about him. He's not used to a beautiful woman like Charlotte not being interested and I think the idea… the idea of a chase is something that excites him."

"Joseph and I got your trunk all loaded onto the car." Lee said, walking back into the Coulters' office.

"Lee! I thought I told you that it was too heavy for your poor back!" Rosemary scolded.

"I know. That's why Joseph loaded, and I directed." He winked at Charlotte and Allie over Rosemary's shoulder before leaning in to give his wife a peck on the cheek.

"Isn't that the truth." Joseph's deep voice boomed from the doorway. His usual jovial personality seemed overcome with emotions as he stepped further into the room. "Miss Allie, heaven knows I don't want to rush you, but if we don't leave soon, you'll be missing the train up to Edmonton."

"Where's Dad?" Allie asked.

Charlotte brushed back a piece of Allie's hair from her face, trying to commit every individual detail to her memory. "He's in his office. He ummm… I think he needed some time alone to think this morning. Why don't we head over there now while Mr. Canfield and Mr. Coulter finish packing the car with your few bags?"

Allie nodded her head in agreement and began collecting her few remaining bags that still needed packed and handing them over to the two men.

"Charlotte," Rosemary whispered, touching Charlotte's arm to stop her from leaving. "Lee and I talked last night, and we both agreed. I'm going to write an editorial piece about the trial yesterday. We both feel as if it was a horrible error and others need to know about it beyond just those in the room. Bill has been saying since he found out it was Judge Cameron presiding, that things seemed off about the trial. Maybe writing this piece will start to expose those secrets."

"Are you sure? That could be very risky for you both and the paper."

"We are sure. Allie means so much to our family. Seeing her go through this," Rosemary's gaze went to the young woman across the room. "Seeing the way she is being so incredibly strong even though she has had no choice in the matter. She is quite the heroine of her story, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Charlotte felt the tears burning in her eyes. "Yeah, she is."

"Mom, are you ready? I need to go see Dad."

"Yeah, sweetheart. I'm ready." Charlotte took Allie's hand as they walked outside onto the boardwalk leading to Nathan's office. They hadn't gone far when Charlotte noticed Dylan walking across the street from the Queen of Hearts.

"Hey, Al," Charlotte slowed to a stop. "Why don't you go on ahead to the office, I'll be along shortly. I just… I need to talk to Dylan about a few things first."

Allie looked over her shoulder at where Dylan was now adding his travel bag to Lee's car that would be driving them to the train station. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Sweet Pea." She smiled, using the term of endearment for Allie Charlotte's father, Sean, had assigned so long ago. "I'm sure. Go along. I think you and your dad need some time alone to say…" Charlotte felt as if she was choking. Unable to say the word goodbye aloud. "You need some time to… Talk."

Allie nodded in understanding and turned to continue on to the RCMP office a few doors down. Once Charlotte saw Allie disappear into the jail, she turned her own attention to Dylan who had clearly been watching her and Allie's exchange.

"Good morning, Charlotte," Dylan greeted as she approached.

"Nathan told me about this morning and the talk you two had. I just… I just wanted to say thank you for agreeing to let us stay in touch with Allie. I know, by law, you wouldn't have to."

"Nathan had a point." Dylan looked down and the ground and kicked a rock with his boot. "Allie will still need a woman's insight. It's been clear to see from the beginning that she adores you and thinks highly of you. Only makes sense that she would still be able to talk to you, if needed."

"Dylan there is a lot you need to learn about your daughter. First off, she eats. A lot. Honestly it would probably be cheaper for you to own a horse then try to feed Allie three square meals a day."

"Is that supposed to make me want to change my mind about taking Allie with me?" Dylan teased.

"It was worth a shot." Charlotte smiled in return, before becoming more serious again. "Allie's great at math, but it's not her favorite subject. I've included her school file and reports in her trunk. Please give it to her new teacher when you go to register this fall. If the instructor has any questions, I put my contact information in the file. Allie is such a wonderful friend, but from what Nathan has told me, she sometimes struggles in new situations finding her footing. You'll need to be aware of that and help her navigate those waters."

Dylan looked in a daze with all the information Charlotte was sharing.

"Allie loves being outside. When she's cooped up for too long, she starts to get anxious. Take her to the park or down by the river to fish. I know you probably won't have a horse in the city, but if you could find some place she could ride, I know that would be very beneficial to her. Just make sure she remembers she lives in Canada, and we can have all four seasons in one day. Winter is coming in a few months. She never thinks to take her coat in the morning, so you will have to remind her. As for foods, she'll try anything once, although she doesn't like rhubarb. There was something about a strawberry rhubarb pie a few years ago, I guess. I didn't get the whole story, I just know, it caused Allie not to care for rhubarb. And no matter how much she complains about it, she has to wash her face and brush her teeth every night before bed. She'll try to barter with you, but you need to stand firm. One hint of weakness and she'll walk all over you."

"Is that it?"

"That's far from 'it', Dylan. But I can't give you all the secrets. That's part of the greatest blessings of being a parent. Discovering what makes this little human you care for tick. Who are they? What will they become? As much as it pains me to say, it's your time to discover what a gift Allie is. She's strong-willed and opinionated. Nathan says she gets that from Colleen. At the same time, Allie, like any young woman, has fears of not fitting in. When she's unsure about something, she tucks her hair behind her left ear…" Charlotte stopped abruptly. "Listen to me. Here I go on again." She could feel tears building, clouding her vision.

Dylan could see Charlotte's struggle. And he was genuinely touched by her gesture and desire to share things she thought a parent of Allie's should know.

Like a true mother. He thought.

"Thanks, Charlotte," Dylan lightly touched her arm. "Now I know to steer clear of the strawberry rhubarb pies."

"Dad?"

Nathan looked up to see the beautiful young woman who stood in the doorway of his office. How many times had she come to him here? When she was having trouble making friends at school. When she came to discuss their Christmas tree and its decorations. When she made her list on all the reasons why Nathan should let her get to know Archie. So many times, and memories. They seemed so simple then. Just an everyday moment, but today, they all rushed together and pulled strongly at his heartstrings.

"Joseph says it's time."

Nathan folded the paper he had been working on and placed it into an envelope on his desk.

"Mom will be along soon. She was coming with me, but she stopped to talk to Dylan."

Nathan nodded. He had said his peace to the man earlier. He knew his wife probably needed the same closure.

Allie slowly shut the door behind her and turned to Nathan. "Why is it? I feel like I'm the cowardly lion from 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' today."

Nathan glanced over her, inspecting Allie from head to toe. "Nah. I don't see a tail or mane. I think you're good." His teasing earned him a sympathetic laugh and eye roll from his daughter.

"You know what I mean, Dad."

"Yeah. I do. But you know what Oz told the lion. You have plenty of courage. And you do Allie. You are the most courageous person I've met. The bravery you've shown in this situation. The way you've conducted yourself even though you haven't had a choice in the matter. I'm proud of you."

"You are?" She came towards him then. Normally, she always stayed on the other side of his desk, but today she came to his side. The tears in her eyes stirred his own.

"Of course, I am! Being known as Allie Grant's dad will always be my biggest accomplishment in life." He brushed a wayward tear from Allie's cheek. "And Al, you're not the cowardly lion. You're Dorothy. Going on a new adventure to a faraway place. Will there be some witches along your yellow brick road? Sure. There always are. Some are good. Some are wicked. But remember where Dorothy is at the end of the story?"

"Back home in Kansas with Uncle Henry and Auntie Em."

"Exactly." He smiled. "And that's where you'll be too."

"Dad, I know it's unfair of me to say this… But I wanna stay here with you."

Nathan sighed and reached forward wrapping his arms around his daughter to pull her into his embrace. "It's not unfair of you to say. No matter what happens Allie. I always hope you know you can tell me whatever it is that is on your mind… and heart."

He felt her head nod where it rested in the crook of his shoulder. They stayed like that a moment before he drew back to look in his daughter's eyes. "You listen to me, Al. Your mom and I will always be with you… No matter where you go. You understand that?"

"Yeah."

"Allie, there's something I need to say. About my promise."

His daughter's big brown eyes bore into him.

"You know… I promised at your adoption to never leave you, right?"

She nodded.

"And in some ways. That may have been unfair of me to promise given the nature of my job and the dangers of it. Things… like this… that are outside both of our controls. I hope you will always know Allie, that your mom and I love you so much and we will never stop fighting to bring you home again. With us. Where you belong. We may be apart for the time being, but… we will never leave you. You understand what I'm saying?"

She squeezed his hands in reply.

"Allie, sweetheart. I'm never going to leave you. I'm always going to be right here…" He tapped a finger gently on her temple. "In your thoughts and memories. In all the things I've taught you through the years. In all the moments we've shared. And I'm always going to be right here…" He moved his hand to gently tap her sternum above her chest. "In your heart. Just like you will always be in mine. No matter what happens. We're not leaving each other in the ways that are truly important. In the ways that matter most."

Allie wrapped her arms around his neck, and they held each other close. Suddenly they felt another set of arms envelope them both and knew it was Charlotte who had joined. She didn't say anything. She didn't have to. They all knew what the others were feeling. What they were saying without speaking a single word.

After a long time, they drew slightly apart, and Nathan reached to a stack of envelopes on his desk. He handed them to his daughter. "Your mom and I… we've been working on these all morning."

"Letters?"

"Not just any letters. Special letters. These are to fill those times when we can't be together, but you still need a bit of us in your day. They're 'open when' letters. Don't read them all at once, but there are ones for when you're feeling lonely or when you need to tell someone about a highlight of your day, or when you need to complain about the teacher at your new school."

"I wrote that one. I hope you don't mind that I took the liberties and made the assumption that she's a bit bossy and smells like chalk." Charlotte winked, earning a laugh from her husband and daughter.

Allie pulled them into a hug again. "I love you, Mom and Dad."

"We love you."

Everyone from town gathered around Lee's car to say goodbye to Allie. Her friends from school, the townspeople, Remi, Bill, and her grandparents, all had a quick moment to tell her they loved her and would miss her.

Allie was stoic and refined. Wise and strong beyond her years. She accepted every small gift, well-wish, and hug offered to her with a grace unsurpassed.

Nathan and Charlotte gave her one last embrace and kiss before she climbed into the car. Seated between Lee and Joseph in the front with Dylan and Seth Drake in the back.

They waved at one another as Lee started the car and began down the street towards the train station. Nathan and Charlotte clung desperately to one another's sides. Supporting each other in the only way they could as they watched their daughter go with tears streaming down their cheeks, wondering if life would ever again feel like it had meaning.