Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.
Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.
It's All In Your Head
Chapter 12: Push
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Naruto stared at his feet as he silently moved through the halls, his head down, eyes averted- like a weakened animal slinking past a potential threat. He wondered if he'd get through the day without antagonizing anyone. He hoped, but that didn't count for much when you were the town pariah.
He tried.
Every single fucking day, he tried.
But it never mattered.
It didn't matter how nice he was, his grin was always misread as something twisted and cruel. It didn't matter if he looked sad or defeated, it was either a ploy for them to let their guard down or an opportunity to attack him while he's vulnerable. He could tread lightly, be apologetic, be a friend- it always ended the same way.
But.. maybe it'll be different today.
He needed today to be different. Sasuke was still in his head, and he couldn't throw him in the middle of anymore of his trauma. He had shared enough fucking humiliation with the guy to last a lifetime.
Naruto wasn't completely powerless, but you wouldn't know it based off the past few days. Hell, based off his life. He wasn't always as vulnerable and useless as he seemed, but he had to act meek to placate the villagers- an image he preferred Sasuke to not have of him. Sharing a mind was not making that very easy, though. Sasuke noticed too much of his pain and involved himself in too many of his messes. It needed to stop. And since Kakashi had yet to find a solution to this jutsu that Sasuke leapt into with absolutely no back-up plan, the only thing he could do was try to keep his life as calm and drama free as possible. Which was easier said than done. Especially when it came to being a despised jinchuriki in a small shinobi town.
Sasuke, he tried again, checking to see if the nosy raven could hear him. Are you minding your own business for once, or are you just waiting for me to say more than I want to say?
He didn't rise to the bait, but that didn't necessarily mean he couldn't hear him. Naruto was very aware that the sneaky bastard would do just about anything to catch a private thought. He had tried multiple times over the weekend to peer into Naruto's mind, but luckily he was getting better at shutting him out.
Unfortunately, Sasuke seemed less inclined to do the same. He was becoming weirdly comfortable with Naruto knowing how he felt towards him, and he wasn't sure he was ok with it. I mean- I was fucking attacked. Twice.
Naruto bit his lip. Check your timing, Sasuke..
The Uchiha-side of his mind remained silent.
Whatever. Just focus on getting to class, he thought to himself. Maybe Sasuke really is too far away this time. Or, even better, maybe no one will start shit and so there will be nothing to overhear in the first place.
Not likely.
The kids at school always enjoyed knocking Naruto down a peg, just like their parents. If he looked weak in any way, they responded like wolves eager to finish the kill. A face full of fading bruises would definitely encourage them.
"Hey!!"
Naruto flinched. He didn't have to look up to know that all of that anger was directed at him. It was always at him. He swallowed and glanced up in time to see someone closing in fast. Fuck. He had just enough time to steady himself when the guy shoved him hard, sending him reeling back into the lockers.
"Nnnnn!" Naruto bit the inside of his cheek as his shoulder collided with a sharp corner. He could taste blood. Fuck- that hurt. "Jesus Christ! What's your problem!?" he shouted, anger pulsing through him. He tried to push past him, but the guy slammed his hand against his chest and forced him back up against the wall.
"You are my problem. Know your fucking place, beast." He pushed off of the blonde and started to walk away when a hand suddenly shot out and grabbed him, halting his progress.
"I don't think so." Sasuke roughly grabbed the unsuspecting teen by the back of the head and steered him back to face Naruto.
"Hey! What the hell?!"
The guy, who looked to be about their age if not a little older, flailed in the Uchiha's grasp, but he was very clearly outmatched. Sasuke was by far more muscular, and his anger only added to his strength. It didn't take him much to overpower the brunette and force him to confront the blonde again.
Naruto stared at Sasuke with wide uncertain eyes as his assailant was pulled back in front of him, feeling confused and overwhelmed. He didn't expect for him to show up- hell, he didn't think he had even been listening. "Sasuke?" he breathed, his brows furrowing as he eyed the irate raven. "What..?" What are you doing?
The Uchiha ignored him and instead looked down at the fuming brunette in his grasp. "Apologize" he grated between clenched teeth.
"Get the fuck off me, man!"
The guy tried to shake himself free, but Sasuke wasn't having it. He grabbed a fistful of dark brown hair, forcing his head still. When the other boy threw an elbow back, Sasuke grabbed his arm and twisted it behind him, wrenching it up at an unnatural angle.
The boy gasped in pain. "Ahh! Wa-wait!"
"Apologize to him" Sasuke snarled. "Now."
Naruto was completely speechless. All he could do was stare as Sasuke tormented the guy- trying to decide whether he was horrified by this brutal display, or grateful for it.
"Why the fuck do you- nnnn.. even c-care?! He's just- ahhhhh!!"
The Uchiha jerked the guy's arm up another notch, his patience deteriorating. The brunette cried out in pain, but it did little to appease Sasuke's sudden brutish appetite. He yanked him back against his chest, bringing his mouth close to his ear. "I already fucking told you twice" Sasuke growled, his eyes narrowed on the ingrate in his grasp. "If I have to say it again, I'm breaking something."
Naruto met the boy's huge fearful eyes. "Ok. Ok!!" he shouted. "I- I'm sorry, alright?"
Sasuke studied Naruto's face for a moment, then pulled the boy back from him. He wasn't done quite yet though. He spun him around and pulled him close, locking his dark sharingan eyes onto his petrified ones. Their peers didn't know a lot about the sharingan, but they knew enough to fear it. And that was made abundantly clear with this one.
Sasuke leaned in, forcing the brunette to meet his blood-red gaze. "Touch Naruto again" he whispered, "and I won't give you the chance to fix it."
The boy audibly swallowed. "Why do you even care what happens to him?" he mumbled, somehow finding the nerve under that heavy glare.
Sasuke eyed him for a moment, then glanced back at the blonde. "If you actually took the time to get to know him-" he turned back to face the brunette, "you would too."
The boy's eyes widened and flickered between the two, noting the blush reddening Naruto's cheeks, the softness in Sasuke's voice. "Wait. Is this.. are you two..?"
Huge blue eyes filled with panic. "What? N-no! It's not-"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes, sharingan spinning. "And if we were?"
Rrrriiinnnggg
"Sasuke, that's the bell." Naruto's voice cracked, and he quickly cleared his throat. "We- we should go."
The Uchiha gave one last menacing look to the asshole in his grasp before finally releasing him. "I meant what I said. If you touch him again, I'll make sure you regret it." Then he turned, grabbed the blonde's wrist, and pulled him down the hall- away from the judgmental eyes of his latest attacker and towards their next class.
Naruto could hear people whispering as the two passed by, and his embarrassment grew. "Sasuke, let go of my arm."
I need to talk to you.
Naruto looked up at him, feeling wary. Care to elaborate?
Not here.
The Uchiha led the way down the corridor and towards the bathrooms. Naruto could tell exactly where they were headed.
No. I'm not doing another bathroom talk. Sasuke- let go!
The Uchiha, in fact, did quite the opposite. Rather, he pulled him directly to the same single stall bathroom he had yanked him into the last time he found the need to question him.
"Sasuke, stop! Will you just- uhh!"
Sasuke shoved the blonde inside and stepped in, locking the door behind them. Naruto spun around, glaring daggers at the raven. "You can't just do whatever you want all the damn time!"
"And yet, here we are."
Naruto gritted his teeth, irritation flashing in his eyes. "People are going to start assuming shit if we keep coming out of the same bathroom."
Sasuke took a step towards him, his eyes heavy.
Naruto could feel his mouth go dry under his unwavering gaze, though he couldn't quite place what was there. "Sasuke.." he said slowly, taking a step back.
"Why do you care what they think?"
Naruto blinked. "What?"
"Why. Do you care. What. They. Think." Sasuke repeated, his voice sharp. "What does it matter if they assume something else is going on in here? What does it matter if that asshole thinks we're together? Why do you fucking care?!"
Naruto stared at him incredulously. "Are you serious, right now? How could you not care?!"
The Uchiha looked like he had something to add but Naruto wasn't done.
"Sasuke- you do understand what this village thinks of me, don't you? It's bad enough they think you're friends with me, but if they thought we were dating? Do you have any idea what you'd be dealing with?"
Sasuke's eyes flared with rage, hints of red slowly seeping into those inky black pools as he took a step towards him. "You know what, Naruto. No. I don't know what they think of you. Because you don't fucking tell me anything!"
Naruto's jaw clenched tight as he forced his thoughts back. Sasuke wanted him to think, for his mind to give it away, but he wasn't falling for it. Sasuke didn't need to know that. In fact, Naruto hoped he'd never find out.
"They despise me- what more do you need to know?!"
Sasuke took another angry step forward and Naruto backed up fast. His lower back hit the sink, halting his retreat. He looked up with wide blue eyes, which filled with concern as Sasuke's slowly turned crimson in his growing rage.
"I need to know why, Naruto!" he shouted, throwing his arms out to his sides in frustration. "Why are they like this? Why are you constantly attacked? Why don't you ever hurt them back? Why do they always look at you with so much goddamn contempt?"
Sasuke swallowed hard, trying to control his anger, but his hold on it kept slipping. He needed to know, but he shouldn't keep this up either. He couldn't risk totally losing it. "Fuck, Naruto.. Why won't you just tell me what all of this is?"
Because it's none of your fucking business.
Sasuke's sharingan slammed back into his eyes. "Oh really" he growled.
Naruto glared. "Don't threaten me, asshole."
Sasuke closed the distance and grabbed Naruto's chin- forcing the blonde to meet his gaze. "I could force you to tell me."
Naruto's breath caught in his throat. "Why.. why are you so mad about this?" he finally choked out.
"Because, you fucking clueless dobe, I want to be more." He dropped his hand from Naruto's face and placed it on the side of the sink behind him, trapping him in place. "And I don't want you to be ashamed of it" he whispered.
"Sasuke, I told you. I'm not ready for anything like.." Naruto sighed. "I don't even know how I feel about all of this, ok! You can't just-"
Sasuke leaned in, eyes flitting between deep blue pools, gauging his reactions. "Then how about we find out."
Naruto noticed the raven drawing closer, and didn't love it. He tried to pull back as far as he could, but Sasuke just kept leaning in. "What-what do you mean..?"
"I want to try something."
"Sasuke.." Naruto shook his head. "I can't-"
But the raven ignored his protest as he leaned even closer.
Trust me, Naruto. Please.. just trust me.
Wa-wait.. I- I don't think I can do this.
Keeping one hand on the sink, Sasuke lifted his other hand and buried it in Naruto's soft golden hair. Naruto flinched, but Sasuke pretended not to notice. The blonde could feel warm breath against his lips, could see Sasuke's eyes fade to black as he sank into wide blues.
"Sasuke, I-"
But his final protest stayed trapped behind his lips as Sasuke kissed him. Naruto's entire body froze, as much from shock as from panic. The Uchiha pulled him close, holding his head still as he pressed their lips firmly together.
"Mmmph!" Naruto pushed back against his chest, but it put no distance between them. If anything, it seemed to encourage the raven to pull him closer until their bodies were flush against each other.
Naruto couldn't deny that part of him liked it, but most of him was afraid, and he needed it to stop.
He finally managed to jerk his head to the side, away from Sasuke's soft mouth and hungry gaze. "Sasuke- stop."
He stopped, but kept a firm hold on the blonde. "I know that you didn't hate it" he said quietly, "I heard what you thought."
"Then you should have also realized that this is too much!" Naruto snapped back. "Let go of me."
Sasuke sighed, and released his hold on the anxious blonde, taking a small step back to give him space. His eyes slid down to his lips. They were slightly swollen from his embrace, and he could feel something stir in his core at the sight of it.
I don't want to stop, he thought. I want more.
I want a lot more.
Naruto turned away, letting a heavy blonde curtain hide his face. "Can you keep your thoughts to yourself, please? I'm already overwhelmed enough as it is."
"For the record, Naruto" Sasuke said, his voice low and husky with thinly veiled lust. "I don't care if the villagers know how I feel. What they think doesn't matter to me, and it shouldn't matter to you."
Naruto's soft voice drifted up from behind his hair. "Sasuke, we are not together. I don't want people to think something that isn't even true."
The Uchiha's eyes hardened. Then why don't we make it true.
Naruto shook his head, his teeth attacking his lip once more. I appreciate you helping me out today, Sasuke. But we're friends. We are just friends.
He pushed his way past the raven, unlocked the door. He started to pull it open when a pale arm shot out and slammed it closed. Naruto held his breath as Sasuke's mouth moved close to his ear.
"For now."
Then he dropped his arm and moved back, letting the blonde escape. I'm not giving up, Naruto.
If you knew what was good for you, Sasuke, you would. Then he rushed out- ignoring the heavy look in Sasuke's eyes as they followed him, and the sound of his voice lingering in his thoughts.
Naruto didn't stop until his loud dizzying mind was finally, mercifully, silent.
--
"It's been almost two weeks" Naruto complained, "when the hell is Kakashi-sensei going to find a way to break this jutsu?"
Sasuke shrugged. He was picking at his dinner, his appetite nonexistent. It had been since that kiss. When he finally took the next step, only to have Naruto take several steps back. The stubborn blonde has been keeping his distance from him ever since, even more so than usual, and it was starting to drive him crazy.
"Does it even matter at this point?" he asked, pushing his food around on his plate with his chopsticks, staring blankly at the untouched meal. "You shut me out of head everyday now.."
Naruto rolled his eyes as he refilled his own plate and stuffed his mouth, clearly not bothered enough to lose his appetite. "Yes, it fucking matters" he snapped. "It takes a lot of effort to keep you out. And I still have to listen to your freaking thoughts all day!"
Sasuke shoved his plate to the side and slammed his chopsticks down on the table. "Oh yes, because it's such a fucking nuisance to know that someone cares about you."
It'd be a lot easier if that's all it was..
Sasuke pushed away from the table and quickly got to his feet. "Fine, Naruto. You want space? I'll give you fucking space." He stormed down the hall, slipped on his shoes, and grabbed his keys. He could hear Naruto approaching but refused to look back.
"Where are you going?"
"Out. I'll be back later." Then he threw open his front door, stomped through it, and slammed it shut behind him. Stay here, he thought.
He could see an image of Naruto flipping him off in his head. As he moved further away, the image faded, followed by his connection to him.
And then Sasuke was truly, utterly..
Alone.
Author Note:
Thank you so much to everyone who is still here, still reading this story. I promise- more chapters are yet to come, with a lot more drama & suspense. So, don't go anywhere :)
Xoxox