Chapter 18: Not Alone
Considering the lifespan of a Shinigami was still something that none of them really seemed to know - Captain Yamamoto was proof of that - time moved quickly for them. It was only thanks to the constant, steady changes of the seasons that kept them truly aware of time passing.
Kirara still wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse, as she walked through the Rukongai's farther reaching districts to visit Kuroro's bar once more. He'd reached out to her that morning, and Kirara hadn't hesitated to go out. If the man was calling on her, it wasn't good.
"Going out?" Yoruichi had called after her once Kirara had received the message from one of the Inner Court Troops, and had instantly abandoned her paperwork to go out.
"It's a nice day. No point in wasting it inside," Kirara had called over her shoulder, walking away with an idle wave. Soi Fon had scowled, and Yoruichi had grinned, knowing that was just how Kirara answered when she had important work out in the Rukon to deal with.
So now Kirara was approaching the miserable looking bar that Kuroro had been running for longer than most could remember. As usual, the smells of smoke and stale beer mixed together to form an even more disgusting smell that made her grimace the moment she caught it.
"Great," the tall, gruff man rolled his eyes as he saw her walk inside. Those who were already drinking inside fell quiet, as if their conversations had been worth overhearing, and instead muttered to one another as they openly glared at the Lieutenant. "Darkening my doorway again, Yamada?" Kuroro complained as if he hadn't been the one to call her there.
"What can I say? You serve the best drinks," Kirara flashed him a smile and sat at the bar. She slid over an envelope filled with money, and he snatched it up before a pint was set down in front of her. Kirara lifted it, taking a deep drink as some people turned away from her. By now, most of them were used to her stopping in for a drink on occasion, but that didn't mean they liked it.
Kirara set the drink down on the bar as the taste lingered in her mouth. It wasn't the worst drink she'd ever had, but she wouldn't say that to him. Instead, she let out a quiet breath and kept her eyes on her drink as she spoke again. "I'm guessing this isn't going to be pretty," she said, keeping her voice quiet enough that only the sharp man behind the bar could hear her.
"When is it ever?" Kuroro muttered, going back to cleaning a glass with the rag that Kirara swore he'd been using for decades at this point. It was barely even still a scrap of cloth, yet he still used it. "Though this one is…particularly bad," he warned her quietly. Kirara closed her eyes for a moment, steeling herself for another tough case.
She had a lot of contacts all around the Soul Society, and spent time getting her own information as well, but Kuroro was her oldest and most trusted contact. How he always managed to find the worst of the worst was beyond Kirara, but he came through every time. She doubted that she'd be able to do the job half as well without him.
So she listened as Kuroro spoke to her, warning her of the whispers that had gone from regular folk within the Seireitei to unseated officers, who then mouthed off in the local pubs where anyone could hear them. Occasionally he would change his tune if anyone got close, mouthing off and telling her to stop nursing her drink and get the hell out.
"You love me being here, Kuroro," Kirara gave a flirty smile when he growled at her to either buy another drink or to leave.
"I would much prefer my regulars," Kuroro replied roughly, unaffected by her look or her words. He was way too used to her by now. Kirara laughed, and finished her drink.
"If you say so. Thanks for the drink. See you around," she said as she got to her feet and headed towards the door.
"Gods, I hope not," he growled, and there was a murmur of agreement amongst the other patrons. Kirara grinned to herself, vanishing out the door. Kuroro rolled his eyes, pouring himself a drink as the chatter started back up again.
Kirara didn't waste any time after leaving the ramshackle bar, using her speed to get back to the Seireitei quickly.
"He's determined to stop people from joining the Academy. Says there's more than enough Shinigami now to do what needs doing," Kuroro's words concerned Kirara a lot. "He's telling people that the Captain-Commander is bringing in more for a reason," Kirara scoffed at such ridiculous conspiracies.
She pushed herself faster. There was no time to waste, and this was one she was going to take care of herself.
Kirara couldn't believe the irony of what she was seeing.
Hidden in the shadows high in a tree, Kirara watched the man she'd managed to track down as he talked to three civilians. An Asauchi swung by his side, and he wore the uniform of a Shinigami, yet he was telling anyone who would listen to not attend the Academy. To stop anyone they knew from attending.
"They don't need so many Shinigami! The higher-ups just laze around and leave everything to us unseated officers," he insisted. A few sighed, rolling their eyes and walking away. He sounded more like he was discontent with his lot, rather than truly concerned by something. "Why would they continue to invite more graduates from the Academy every year?" those who did stay murmured amongst themselves.
'Great. A lazy idiot,' Kirara rolled her eyes, watching him as he continued to rant at anyone who would listen.
"The Head-Captain is clearly planning for something more than he lets on. Guiding the dead and putting a stop to Hollows is noble and it draws in so many who want to do good, but something nefarious lies beneath, I am sure of it!" he insisted.
'He likes hearing himself talk,' the Lieutenant spying thought as something heavy weighed in her chest. The man had more or less sealed his fate with his words. She had to take him in, before he did any real damage.
So she waited as this man, clearly neglecting his duties within the Rukon, continued to pester anyone who would listen. Kirara closed her eyes, taking deep breaths and releasing them as she waited. He kept going for hours as Kirara bordered on a meditative state the entire time, clearing her mind and letting herself prepare for the arrest.
Finally the man stopped as night finally fell. At first, he seemed to debate going for a drink, but when someone spat at him, telling him that he wasn't welcome, the man started to make his way towards what she assumed was his home.
It was now that Kirara would finally make her move. She jumped down from her perch above, landing so lightly that she didn't make a sound. As Kirara expected, he remained completely oblivious to her presence as she stalked him, drawing her sword.
Botan cursed as he made his way home, exhausted and knowing that he'd be expected to go out to the Rukongai yet again in the morning. 'Ridiculous. I'm better than this, and they know it. They're just treating me like fodder because I know the truth,' he told himself, before hearing a rustling behind him. Dismissing it as the wind, Botan kept moving, until the cold bite of steel pressed against his throat. Instantly he went still.
"That's the first smart move you've made," Kirara hissed as she kept him in place.
"Wh-what's going on?" Botan whimpered, louder than the shadows that restrained him. His Reiatsu flickered with his fear, but Kirara barely even felt the weight of it.
"You're going to have to come with me," Kirara replied coldly, not sympathetic to his fearful whimpers in the slightest. She had to cut off the threat of an uprising at the source, and that was him. So he'd be paying a visit to the Maggot's Nest, but unlike Kisuke and Hiyori, he wouldn't be coming back out.
"I was told it was only a matter of time. Silencing me because I know the truth. I get it. But it's too late," Botan would have sounded a lot more impressive if he wasn't snivelling. "You can kill me, but others will take my place," he warned. Kirara rolled her eyes. He really did like the sound of his own voice, even now.
"Then you'll be seeing them soon enough," she told him, and Botan dared to take a shaky breath. "Stop your crying already. I'm not going to kill you," Kirara's voice was icy - a far cry from her true self. This was the mask she wore as a member of the Onmitsukido; one she hoped that her friends would never have to witness. "Let's go," Kirara nudged him, but Botan didn't budge. Her eyebrows furrowed.
"You say that as if I'm going to come peacefully…" Botan's words were suddenly calm, and Kirara felt the movement just in time. She released him instantly, leaping back, but she didn't get out of range fast enough.
Pain burned along Kirara's hand as blood splattered the ground around her, and she swore as Botan wielded a knife that she hadn't realised he carried.
'You got sloppy, you damn idiot,' she cursed herself furiously as Botan turned to her with a wild smile on his face.
"They really sent a woman to take me down? How little do those fatcats at the top think of me?" he gave an almost hysteric laugh as Kirara's blood dripped from the tip of the dagger. Kirara's eyes hardened.
"They don't even know you exist. You're a problem for me and the Onmitsukido to take care of," she replied. Botan's wide smile faded. "And you will stay that way. Your words will never reach them," Kirara said, seeing that she had hit a sore spot for the man.
"Bitch!" he launched at her again, but this time Kirara was ready. She had almost expected it to go this way, if she hadn't been able to fully restrain him immediately. She tensed as he jabbed with the knife, closing the small distance between them.
Botan's scream carried as blood exploded along his hand and arm, forcing him to drop the knife with a loud clatter. Kirara lowered her blade, standing only two steps back. Her eyes had an eerie shine to them in the moonlight, and her expression remained impassive.
"Give up. You have no chance against me," she warned him. One chance.
"Give up?" Botan repeated in shaky words. His arm hung by his side now, cut to ribbons thanks to Kirara's Zanpakuto. "I will only give up when the Gotei 13 admit the truth!" he snarled, and lunged at her again. This time, he remembered he had a blade by his side.
The sound of steel clashing against steel was loud, carrying for a short distance as Kirara blocked his attack with her own blade. Both were only able to use one hand, but Kirara was stronger, pushing him back.
Botan stayed on his feet, and laughed a breathy laugh as Kirara angled her head. "You should have just killed me when you were nothing but shadows," he told her. Kirara frowned, before she felt the flicker of Reiatsu.
"Hado #4: Byakurai!" the attack came from the side, and Kirara leapt backwards, flipping through the air as the pale energy cut through the air where she'd been standing. It lit up their surroundings, and Kirara counted six Shinigami who were leaping at her from all directions.
"Shit," Kirara hissed, moving quickly to kick the closest one in the stomach. He grunted, the lights of his eyes vanishing as he instantly passed out and crashed against a nearby wall.
"Nice reflexes. Killing you is going to get us a lot of bragging rights when we finally topple this facade," Botan sneered at her.
"It just means that your friends will be joining you sooner than you expected," Kirara replied, not letting her pounding heart betray her. She hadn't expected him to have allies nearby. 'How the hell did they find us so quickly? Something feels wrong…' she thought, and quickly shoved it aside. She had to focus.
The group of now five Shinigami, along with Botan, launched their offensive against Kirara, who fought them all off without hesitation or mercy. Her stomach lurched as if gripped by a clawed hand that squeezed, but she refused to show it at all. Another went down as Kirara slammed the base of her Zanpakuto against their temple, before she slashed and cut one down the back as he narrowly missed her with his own blade.
Kirara flinched as Botan's blade clipped her cheek just enough to draw a small trickle of blood. He laughed with glee, seeming to think that this was his moment to deliver a final blow. Kirara let out a quiet breath as her senses sharpened into cold focus.
The man's movements were far slower than her own, and he was completely open to her attack as Kirara's blade sliced through his chest with ease.
The man staggered, eyes bulging as he stayed on his feet for just a moment, before he tipped forwards and fell to the ground with a dull thud. Kirara's head was lowered, but she sucked in a sharp breath as that cold focus that had taken over vanished just as quickly as it appeared.
"Commander!" finally, finally Satoru appeared, breathless but unsurprised by the sight in front of him. Kirara had sent him a message, warning him of a man trying to start an uprising while telling him that she hoped to take him alive.
She rarely managed to accomplish that.
With Satoru's help, the two took down the rest of the group, until finally it was just them standing there, and only their heavy breathing could be heard.
"I'm sorry…" Kirara spoke softly, returning her Zanpakuto to the scabbard. Satoru didn't reply, knowing that she wasn't talking to him. Instead he ran a hand through his hair and looked around at the Shinigami who lay around them, unconscious or worst.
"Commander, I…" Satoru trailed off, never knowing what to say. Instead, he cleared his throat and stood taller, trying not to see the darkness in Kirara's eyes. "I'll assemble the others," he offered.
"No," Kirara's voice was dull. "I'll take care of it. Thanks, Satoru," she said, turning away and vanishing. Satoru shook his head.
"When will you learn that you don't have to shoulder it all yourself?" he wondered.
There was something unsettling in the air that night, and Shinji found that he couldn't relax even with his music. When the last of his Squad finally left for the night - even Sosuke had gone home - Shinji had decided to go for a walk, trying to shake the feeling.
The Seireitei was always too quiet at night. Only a few burning the midnight oil were around, and the moon was high in the sky, casting everything in an eerie light. But he walked anyway, hoping that it would help to clear his head.
A familiar feeling brushed his senses, and Shinji slowed to a stop as his eyes narrowed. It only took a little bit of focus to tell it was Kirara's presence nearby. Not hidden; she wasn't skulking about for once. But something about it was off, and Shinji found himself growing even more uneasy. So he made his way towards it, wondering what was wrong with the Lieutenant.
It took him a moment to spot her. Kirara was by the Squad 2 barracks, sitting on a rooftop with her legs pulled in close and her face pressed into her knees. Shinji frowned, wondering just what was wrong with her. Part of him debated just leaving her to it. It wasn't as if they were close or anything.
But instead, he made his way towards her, jumping up and landing on the rooftop beside her.
"I'm pretty sure that Lieutenants get their own quarters offered to them when they get the position," Shinji said lightly. "You don't have to sleep up here, you know," he told her. When Kirara didn't react, he frowned, looking down at her. His eyes widened when he saw the blood running down her hand. "Hey, what did-" the moment he crouched beside her to check her hand, Kirara snatched it away.
"Just leave me alone, Hirako!" Kirara finally lifted her head, and Shinji couldn't stop himself from staring at her. Tears ran down her face, and had been doing so for a while, judging from her red-rimmed eyes. There was a small cut on her cheek, already closed over with a smear of blood dragged across it.
"I don't think I can do that," Shinji's response made her scowl. A retort was on her tongue, ready to start a fight with him. "Can't just leave a cute girl to cry by herself," he shrugged, sitting down properly beside her. It took the fire right out of Kirara, and she just stared at him.
"You idiot…" she whispered, moving to press her face back into her knees as Shinji almost grinned at her words. "Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it," Kirara whispered, telling herself that she was only voicing the words aloud. That she wasn't directing them at him. "If I'm losing a part of myself by doing what I do to keep this place safe," she admitted, before another wave of tears came.
"I think…that's something only you can figure out," Shinji told her as understanding hit him, cold and dark. He wasn't an idiot. He knew what Kirara was capable of. She was a member of the Onmitsukido for a reason. He sighed and reached out, and when his hand rested on her head, Kirara's sobs slowed. "But you're an idiot if you think you have to be alone," his words made Kirara lift her head and meet his gaze.
For a long moment, neither of them said anything, just staring at one another. Before Kirara realised it, her tears were gone and the angry, frustrated feeling deep within started to fade. Shinji didn't move his hand, keeping it resting on her head and offering comfort.
Kirara swallowed, as she slowly started to realise how close he was to her. How settling it was to have Shinji so close to her, patting her head as his body rested comfortably against hers. It made it hard to focus on anything else. Suddenly her lips felt dry, and she had the overwhelming urge to wet them.
Shinji's attention was instantly drawn to her lips, but as his eyes darted down and his hand pulled her just a little closer, Kirara then smiled. It was small, and her tears glistened on her face as she tilted her head just a little.
"Thanks, Hirako," she said quietly, turning her head away and breaking the moment. Shinji suddenly realised that he had been holding his breath.
"Y-yeah," he said quietly, turning away as his heart continued thudding against his chest. But his hand stayed on her head even as they fell into a comfortable silence.
Kirara's own treacherous heart pounded painfully against her chest so loud that she was convinced that Shinji would be able to hear it with how quiet it was now. But she didn't move, even as the pain stung her hand. For once, she didn't feel alone.
Knowing that she couldn't keep her thoughts to herself, Kirara visited Rose the next morning. It was still early, and she moved with the pretence of dropping off paperwork to go to see the Captain.
"Kirara?" Rose looked sleepy, still waking up. It was unusually early for the Lieutenant to be visiting him. While he was always happy to see the woman who he considered a good friend, it was still strange to see her so early. "What happened to your hand?" he asked, seeing the bandages that were wrapped securely around it. The dark lines under her eyes told him that she'd barely slept again. If she'd slept at all.
"Can I tell you something?" Kirara didn't answer his question, but instead asked one of her own as she slid the door closed behind her. Rose leaned back in his seat, taken aback by her request. While she wasn't the most secretive person that Rose had ever met, he still found he barely knew anything about her past her work as a Shinigami. Anything else had Kirara dancing around it, keeping her cards close to her chest. Even an answer about her injured hand was something she avoided answering.
"Of course," Rose finally nodded. For a moment, Kirara didn't speak. She looked as if she was going to throw up as she moved through his office, looking around at the decor and avoiding his look. Rose didn't push her, remaining patient as he gave Kirara the time to prepare to say whatever was on her mind.
"I think…" she started, her voice shaky. Kirara then steeled herself, closing her eyes and taking a deep, calming breath. Opening her eyes, Kirara turned back to Rose. "I think I'm falling for Hirako."
Things are kicking off now!
Hope you liked it!