August 1999: Age 10
One of the staff at the orphanage accompanies me everywhere I go most of the time if i'm not in my room. If I play outside, it's by myself with the staff watching. If I eat outside my room, it's by myself with the staff watching. Always watching.
They believe i'm evil, that I'm a demon. And in some ways, maybe I am. Either way, there's just no way i'll get adopted. Honestly, I'm not sure why they don't just stick me in a mental institute. Probably because even they don't want me.
I should just run away. I could live in the forest with the animals, and insects and nature. I could finally be myself. I could finally be free. The animals wouldn't judge me. They never seem to whenever I watch them outside.
One time, a cat came up to me and let me pet him. He was black and white. He looked like he wore a tuxedo. Every day whenever I went outside, I'd sneak him some lunch meat from my lunch and he let me pet him. He is a good boy.
It's raining today though, so that means I won't get to leave my room really. I have some coloring books and building blocks and a stuffed bear from when I was young. But not much else. I use my imagination a lot to play on my own, but sometimes I've done everything in the world I can think of, and I just get bored.
I miss the cat i've made friends with. He takes my mind off things most of the time. He gives me a purpose for staying strong. I think of him whenever the staff scream at me for spilling something or accidentally messing something up.
I especially think of him whenever they beat me. It's rare they do it, maybe once every other month. But they beat me last week for waving at one of the new kids that came in. He seemed really sad. I just wanted to make him feel better. But they saw it, and whipped me on my back pretty good. The wounds are still healing. They called me 'devil' and 'monster' as they did. But all I could think of to take my mind off the pain was that sweet little cat. No matter what they or anyone else thought of me, he was always so nice.
So I miss him today. I won't get to see him until it stops raining, and who knows when that will be. I sigh in sadness as I color a page in my book. But then I hear little taps at my window. I look over and see the sweet boy sitting at my window. I smile widely as my friend has found me.
I walk over to the window and open it silently. He's a mute cate. He never meows, so he remains silent as he enters my room carefully. I close the window and hug him tightly. He rubs his face affectionately on my cheek and I pet him happily.
"You came." I whisper to him as he purrs.
"Come here, lay with me." I say as I walk over to my bed. He hops up and plops down beside me, taking a bath and washing the rain water off his coat. I don't mind. I couldn't be happier he visited me. He loves me and I love him. It's the only love i've ever really known.
My eyes grow heavy as we lay there in silence listening to the rain fall. The white noise of the taps on my window is so calming. Soon we both fall asleep cuddling each other for comfort.
———
August 2018: Present day
I think of Pickles as I sit in the babies room rocking on the rocking chair. That's the name I decided to give him. I'm not sure why honestly. Sometimes I come in here to sit anxiously waiting for our son to arrive. I'll come in here and think about different things, whatever comes to mind really. But today, Pickles has visited me once again.
I try not to think of the awful things that took place there. There's no point in dwelling on the past. Sometimes I can't help it though. They invade my mind unprovoked and unwarranted. Echos and whispers fill my mind soon enough, and my furry friend's face get's replaced with the hatred painted on the staffs faces.
Some of the other kids didn't understand. They didn't see what they saw, but usually it was the smaller ones. Most of them stayed away from me like I had the plague. I suppose I did to anyone ordinary. No one shares the pain I carry because of it. This power and responsibility was never a blessing. It in itself, is a curse.
I close my eyes tight willing the evil and hatred being said in my mind. The voices say how awful I am, how evil I am. How i'm a demon and should never have existed. The memories of the beatings that took place begin to flood my mind and I can almost feel the whippings, the punches, the spitting at my feet. But it doesn't scare me anymore. It only enrages me.
The final memory I have that appears is the staff beating me as they chased pickles away after our nap together. It was the last time I saw him. He was able to get away without injury, but I was angry they ripped him from me. He was too scared to visit after that. He stayed away for good, and I hated them for it.
Cursed energy builds in my body like heat building and radiating from me. My breathing increases as I grip my hands tight and grit my teeth. Rarely do I get like this, but Satoru's been gone all day at work, and I've finished all the work around the apartment. I've had too much time to be by myself. Too much time in my own head.
Footsteps echo through the apartment and finally end in the doorway. I hear a Satoru's voice, but the words are unfamiliar.
"You monster." He tells me.
"No." I say angrily.
"What?" He says confused.
"I'm no monster!" I say with angry tears forming in my eyes.
"Whoa what? I never said-" he says cautiously walking to me.
"They lied! I was never the monster. They were!" I tell him raising my voice.
He looks confused and surprised. Then after a moment, he sighs nodding his head, "I never said you were a monster. Your mind is playing tricks on you. They can't hurt you anymore love. I'll never let them. You're no monster." He says approaching me and kneeling down in front of me.
My cursed energy is high, I can sense it. It radiates mainly with the baby. He's active. Tossing and turning in my stomach. I can feel his rage too. He shares the pain. He is angry. Satoru can see it with his six eyes.
"Hey, look at me." He says gently.
I look at him, a tear falling from my face. He wipes it away and puts a hand on my cheek. Instinctively I lean into it and feel myself calm. The baby however is still upset. His cursed energy is still high.
"You're no monster. You are strong, intelligent, and beautiful. You will never be anything less. I love you." He tells me.
I sigh and take deep breaths like he taught me.
"That's it. You're here with me. You aren't there anymore." He says smirking while rubbing my leg with his other hand.
I don't get like this as much as I used to anymore. It used to be bad when I first came here. Every day for a long time i'd lock myself away in my room just like I did at the orphanage. Satoru and Suguru brought me out of my shell. When they learned of my nightmares later on, they'd talk to me about them. Help me heal. After Suguru left, Satoru started sleeping in my room. He'd hear me through the walls and teleport in. He'd never sleep with me obviously, but he'd just be there. He comforted me like Pickles did all those years ago. Made me feel loved.
"I love you too." I tell him as my breathing slowed.
He smiles as he puts his forehead on mine, "don't ever think any less of yourself. Do you hear me?"
I nod in response.
He goes to place his hand on my stomach and it stops right inches from it. Confused, he tries to push against the force, and his hand goes limp.
"What the hell?" I say confused and he looks up to me in confusion. What just happened? I don't understand.
"Satoru, are you okay?" I ask him sitting up and grabbing his limp hand and looking at it. There are no cuts or bruises.
He chuckles and smiles at me maniacally, "I think I know."
He laughs as he stands up running his hand through his hair. He shakes his head pacing through the room.
"What? What is it? I don't have your six eyes." I tell him.
"It's our son. He's using his abilities already." He says smiling widely and gesturing to my stomach as he shakes the feeling back in his other hand.
My eyebrow shoots up and I shake my head, "no, no that doesn't make any sense. He isn't supposed to develop any signs until way later."
He chuckles breathlessly, "I thought so to. But he must have felt your emotions. He's protecting you." He says smiling.
"No, no that's impossible." I say.
"Look." He says walking to me quickly and kneeling down. He tries to place his hand on my stomach again and is stopped once again. When he tries to push against the force, his hand goes limp once again.
"Incredible. Now, let's test this." He says placing his other hand on my arm, and the same thing happens.
"That's amazing. Our boy is strong." He say smiling, tearing up a bit.
I chuckle breathlessly and shake my head, "He... He's using his ability already?" I ask astounded.
Satoru smiles and nods laughing, "yes. And the best ability in this generation. Even better than mine. He has both our abilities. I'm assuming since he's from two sorcerers, not just one. It may explain why he can use them even now. He may be extremely powerful from birth, not at a later age. It seems like he has my infinity, but if provoked it paralyzes the victim. Obviously it doesn't last long but as he ages it could be incredible. Who knows if he has the six eyes. I'm guessing yes since he seems pretty aware of what's going on."
I smile widely, "so...our baby could be the strongest curse user known."
Satoru laughs, "yeah, I guess so. Naomi, this is incredible. I've never heard of anything like it. He's going to surpass me with some training in his later years. This is great news!" He says happily.
He takes my head in his hands and bends down kissing me softly. I grab on to his shoulder for stability and hold my stomach feeling the baby kick. He's very active right now but seems to be calming down. He must sense that i'm not in distress anymore.
Satoru breaks the kiss and kneels down in front of me, cautiously placing his hands on my stomach. His hands are able to touch me this time. Niko has calmed down.
"Hey little man. It's your dad." Satoru says smiling. Niko kicks against Satoru's hand and he is in awe. His excitement showing in his expression. "Daddy loves you very much. And I can't wait to see you become the greatest sorcerer in history. Hopefully you'll take the reins from me one day."
I smile as he talks to our son. He's so loving and careful when he does this. He's already an amazing dad, and he's going to be so great with him. I'm excited to see our son, and am trying to be patient. But times like this make it hard.
"I love you." I tell Satoru.
Satoru looks up at me and smiles, "I love you more."
I shake my head, "not possible."
We take a few more minutes to feel Niko kicking before Satoru stands up suddenly. He sighs looking at me proudly.
"Hungry?" He asks.
"Always." I tell him.
"Let's make some dinner. What sounds good?" He asks.
"Maybe some ramen?" I say.
"Oooo, good choice. C'mon mama." He says holding his hands out to me. I go to reach for them but am stopped inches away.
"Why do you have your infinity up?" I ask him.
"I don't." He says.
We both sigh.
"Yo, little man. Gotta control that infinity of yours yeah? Mama needs some food." Satoru says jokingly.
I chuckle and shake my head placing one hand on my stomach. His movement slows and settles down.
I reach out for Satoru again and this time he grabs me and helps me out of the chair.
"Got a handful here huh?" He says as we walk to the kitchen.
I laugh, "yeah, he's just like you."
He glares at me and I laugh. He isn't wrong though. If he's anything like his father, we certainly do have a handful. Lord help us all.