It's Monday! I was very interested in hearing what everyone thought of this universe's take on Gray's tragic backstory. Lots of great observations there. Gray definitely has some emotional wounds in his past that he feels the need to engage in poison trials. I personally see it as being as much self-harm as self-defense. I don't mean to be dramatic about it (and I certainly hope I'm not romanticizing Gray's decision), but I'm not sure what else to call self-inflicted poisoning. It's not the healthiest of behaviors, to be sure. And while this particular aspect of Gray's life is a secret, there are behavior changes that are a little more evident since the loss of his parents. Hopefully this sheds some light on Lucy's concerns over him.
- K. Chandler
Why was it so hot?
Gray made a half-hearted attempt to rouse himself, but his head was too heavy to lift. He stilled when a gentle hand brushed at his sweaty hair.
"Shh… You're all right. You're all right, Gray."
"Erza?" he whispered hoarsely, his tongue uncooperative in his dry mouth. There was a sour taste at the back of his throat. He swallowed hard.
"I'm here."
"Where…?" Gray blinked blearily through the darkness, trying to figure out where they were.
"On the road to Magnolia. You're safe. We're both safe. The windows and doors are still sealed."
Safe.
Good.
Gray recognized the inn they had stopped at on their way to Lucy's. He relaxed, letting a breath out through his nose.
"How are you feeling?"
Gray shrugged, curling onto his side. The stomachache had abated slightly, but he still felt awful. There was a fluttery ache behind his ribs, and he couldn't tell if it was a lingering side-effect of the lillyglove or something else entirely. Seeing the face of his parents' murderer, even if it had been just a dream, had left him feeling kitten-weak and shivery. And it was impossibly hot.
Erza's fingers were blissfully cool against his cheek. She made a noise of surprise. "You're running a fever," she said.
Gray gave a hum of acknowledgement. Honestly, he wasn't surprised. The first few doses of a new poison were always the hardest.
"Just give me a second." Erza crossed the room to dig through their bags, returning with a damp handkerchief. She swiped it across his sweaty forehead and dabbed his face.
Gray let out a sigh, relaxing into her ministrations.
"Are you okay now?.
"…no."
"Is it because of…?" Erza didn't finish the question. She didn't have to.
The Day.
Gray grunted acknowledgement
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Gray turned away, pretending not to hear her. There was nothing to talk about. What good would it do?
"I wish you would rely on me more, instead of always trying to be strong," Erza said.
"I do," Gray said, his voice muffled by the pillow. "I trust you to take care of things."
"I don't mean your duties," Erza said.
Gray didn't answer right away.
"…Have you ever dreamed that you showed up somewhere and you were wearing nothing but your underwear?" he asked finally.
If Erza was surprised, she didn't show it. "I hear everyone has dreams like that."
"Ever have one where you're running and running but you never seem to go anywhere?"
"Yes," Erza said softly.
"What about ones where you can't remember what you're supposed to do? Then you remember. But you're too late. And no matter how fast I run, I can't change anything. I never change anything…" Gray's voice caught.
"Oh, Gray," Erza whispered. "It's not your fault. There was no way you could have known…"
"I should have, though. I should have… done something."
"There was nothing you could have done. You were a child. You weren't even fifteen yet."
"That's no excuse," Gray said. "Two weeks after that, I took the throne. Thirty-two million citizens that I'm responsible for now. But I couldn't even protect two of the most important people in my life. I was useless."
"But you won't be," Erza said, clasping a bracing hand over his fingers. "Not anymore."
"Never again," Gray agreed.
"Gray, there's something you should know."
Gray gave a curious, sleepy mumble.
"You've worked hard to become stronger. To be a good ruler. It shows," she said.
"That's thanks to you… and the others. You've made the last few years… bearable. I'm glad you're the one here with me," he whispered, his sentences faltering as sleep beckoned.
"I'm proud to be the one at your side. To work for you," she added quickly.
Gray smiled wryly, recognizing the invisible line that both of them acknowledged but didn't dare cross.
"Erza?"
"I'm here." She pressed calloused fingers against the back of his hand. "I'm not going anywhere," she added.
"…We should stay," Gray mumbled. "Just like this."
"You know we can't. We'll be late to Magnolia," she said.
"Just for a couple of days? Lucy won't care," Gray said. "I'll just tell her… tell her we ran into snow on our way out of Isvan."
"Lyon will have a conniption," she reminded him.
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
"…That does sound nice," Erza said.
"Yeah?"
"Just rest now."
"Stay? Please." Vaguely, Gray was aware that he probably sounded childish, but he was too exhausted and ill to care.
"Of course," Erza said. The bed dipped under her weight as she sat down. "I'll always be at your side."
With Erza's touch to steady him, Gray let himself relax, letting the pull of unconsciousness claim him.
There were no more dreams that night.
T
Gray shivered, feeling like the chill had seeped into the marrow of his bones. Normally, even freezing temperatures didn't bother him. He considered the clean, white snow in Isvan one of the kingdom's most beautiful sights. But this was a different sort of cold.
To avoid the snow he'd unwittingly predicted, they'd cut through Fantasma as they rode for Magnolia. As they crossed the border into Juvia's kingdom, Gray started to regret his decision. What started as a drizzle ended up as a downpour. The roads grew muddier, the spongy ground making the ride difficult and unpleasant.
He wasn't sure if lingering effects of last night's poison trial had lowered his tolerance to the elements, or if the rain brought a different kind of dank cold that he wasn't as impervious to. Either way, the outcome was the same. He felt cold, miserable, and ill.
"Gray?" Erza prompted.
"I already know what you're going to say," he said. "And the answer's no."
She'd want them to take shelter for the night. And even though he was the one pushing for more time together last night, in the clarity of morning, he could see how ridiculous the idea was.
Erza frowned at him, as if debating how appropriate it would be to argue.
"Don't fuss, Erza. I'm fine," Gray said. "I'm not staying at a random inn in a strange country. Besides, it's still early. We can easily make it to Lucy's by tonight."
"You need rest. Even a few minutes."
"That's Fantasma Castle up ahead." Gray pointed at the austere stone structure easily visible on the horizon. "We can stop there. The queen will have to provide shelter to a diplomatic party from Isvan."
"Do you think it's wise to visit her like this? Out of the blue and uninvited?"
"Why not?" Gray said. He tugged his collar more tightly around his neck. "She's a friend, isn't she?"
"That sort of friend?" Erza asked carefully.
"What sort of friend does she have to be for me to visit?" Gray asked. "We're both royalty. It's more or less official business, isn't it?"
"She's receiving the attentions of a prince from a neighboring kingdom," Erza said. "That means something very different to a woman than it does to a man."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Gray asked. "You're reading too much into it."
It was a casual drop-by. He visited forts and provincial rulers within Isvan the same way. He even stopped in on Lucy or Natsu when he could fit it into his busy schedule.
It wasn't that big of a deal, was it?
"We have visitors, my queen," Bora informed her.
"Visitors?" Juvia echoed. Nobody ever visited Fantasma Castle.
Juvia hurried out to greet her guests, her insides fluttering in excitement. There were two riders, and she recognized the one in front.
"Gray!" Juvia said, her heart lifting. "What a surprise! If I knew you were coming, I would have prepared for your visit."
With as often as she checked in on him with her scrying bowl, she was surprised that she had missed this. But she couldn't watch Gray every minute of every day, so she guessed it was possible.
"Sorry for not making arrangements ahead of time," Gray said. "I got caught in this storm on my way to visit Lucy. I thought I'd wait out the rain by visiting my newest friend. I hope I'm not imposing."
"It's no imposition," Juvia said. "Well, don't just stand there. Come inside."
Gray nodded gratefully, letting his attendant help him off his horse. He seemed to be relying on her for balance, like he was unsteady on his feet.
"Let's get you warmed up," Juvia said, ushering him out of the downpour.
Gray's wet footsteps pattered through the stone entry hall, echoing off the arched ceilings. She had never paid attention, but suddenly Juvia felt self-conscious about the cold stone and austere columns. This was nothing like the welcoming atmosphere of Magnolia Castle.
What would Gray think?
"Bora, we'll take tea in the drawing room. Stoke the fire, then see if there's a tin of cookies to serve to our guests," said Juvia. If Bora acted quickly, the drawing room might be transformed into something passible for Gray's visit.
Bora bowed subserviently before leaving to do her bidding.
"You don't have to do all that," Gray said. "We'll only be here for a short while."
"Of course, I do. I'd like to show you the best of Fantasma's hospitality," Juvia said.
Gray sat across from her in the drawing room while his servant busied herself with drying out their cloaks near the hearth.
If the drab atmosphere bothered him, he didn't let it show. Gray smiled pleasantly, accepting the warm mug that Juvia pressed into his stiff fingers. She couldn't help but notice how worn he looked, lines of exhaustion marring his handsome face. There was a worryingly sallow cast to his complexion that brought a startling contrast to his dark hair and vivid blue eyes.
"You look pale. Are you unwell?" she asked.
"I'm feeling a little under the weather, maybe," Gray said with a shrug. "Getting caught in the rain on my way wasn't part of the plan."
"I'm sorry…" Juvia said.
"For what?"
"I wish weather in my kingdom wasn't so temperamental," she sighed. She'd never admit it, but she had heard the rumors that her citizens would spread, about how the weather was related to her mood. It was a ridiculous idea! Mostly…
Sometimes, Juvia secretly worried that it might be true.
"I know the feeling," Gray said.
"You do?" asked Juvia.
"You're talking to someone who rules a land that's perpetually under six feet of snow," Gray chuckled. "Although, maybe that's not temperamental per se, but it's not most people's idea of a vacation."
"Do you ever wish it was warmer?" Juvia asked.
"Not really," Gray said. "If it were, it'd flood and that wouldn't help anything at all. No, six feet of snow is far better than having things under water."
"Doesn't it bother you at all?" Juvia asked. "The cold, that is."
Gray shook his head. "I love it."
"Don't you ever tire of it?" Juvia asked.
"Not really. I like my kingdom just the way it is," Gray said. "And besides, if I ever do need a change, I just go to Draghi's highlands or sunny Magnolia. Lucy's always trying to get me to visit."
This was the second time Lucy's name had come up in conversation. Juvia fought a frown, quickly changing the subject.
Gray was a good conversationalist, and the two of them chatted through the rest of the afternoon.
"Why don't you stay for supper?" Juvia asked.
"I couldn't impose," Gray said. "You've been more than generous, having me here unannounced."
"It's no trouble at all. I'll just have Totomaru make us up something simple," Juvia said. "Sandwiches or something."
"No, Juvia… Thank you, though," Gray said. "Erza, will you help Juvia's servants with our horses?"
"Oh, how thoughtless of me. You probably want something warm after your trip. Some hot soup, then?" Juvia said. "With fresh bread?'
"I really should get going if we want to get to Magnolia before too late."
"You could stay the night," Juvia said. "Leave tomorrow?"
"Lucy'll be expecting me," Gray said with an apologetic shrug. "I appreciate the offer, though."
"Lucy…?" Juvia echoed flatly.
Why did he keep talking about her? Did she really have that much of a hold over him?
"She asked me and Natsu to come for a visit," Gray said. "We're going on a picnic. It's sort of our thing."
"When will I see you again?" Juvia asked. Maybe Gray could come by on his way back from Magnolia. If she knew, she could prepare a romantic dinner for the two of them and maybe spend some more time with him.
"Lucy's having a ball for her birthday. You're invited to that, yeah?"
"Yes, but… I thought that wasn't until next month," Juvia said.
"That's right," Gray said. "We'll see each other soon."
An entire month? Juvia's heart sank. She didn't know if she could stand waiting so long to speak with Gray in person again.
"Wait," Juvia said. "Don't leave yet. I have something for you."
"You really don't have to do that," Gray said, his smile shifting from cordial to something a little too tight.
"You'll want this," she said. "Hold on."
Juvia instructed Bora to fetch one of the bottles on her workstation in the cellar. She prepared all of her potions and tonics there. She kept such a healthy supply of herbs and equipment down there that Bora had jokingly called it her laboratory.
She had brewed and bottled a fresh batch of an herbal tonic last night. With the perpetual rain and chill, Juvia liked having a few doses on hand for the people who worked for her. It might do Gray some good too.
By the time Bora returned, Gray was ready to depart.
"For you," Juvia said, taking the bottle from Bora and offering it to Gray. "Elderberry and ginger. This will set you to rights in no time."
"How kind of you," Gray said. "I appreciate it."
Gray cheerfully bid Juvia a polite goodbye before setting off down the road towards Magnolia. Towards Lucy.
Juvia was surprised that Lucy was having a picnic. Lucy hadn't said anything about a picnic to Juvia. Why hadn't she been invited?
Perhaps her invitation had gotten lost? Or perhaps Lucy wanted Gray to herself…
No, that was silly. There was probably just some sort of mix up.
"Bora," Juvia called. "Have Gajeel ready my carriage. I'm going to Magnolia."
If Gray and Natsu were visiting Magnolia, then Juvia would go as well. After all, they were all friends, weren't they? What was the harm in coming along?
"Yes, my queen," said Bora. "When you will be departing?"
"Immediately."
"What was that the queen gave you? Right before you left?" Erza asked.
Gray patted the pack that was fastened just behind his saddle. "This? Some sort of medicinal tonic or something," Gray shrugged. "…Do I really look that bad today?"
Even above the drum of rain, Gray could hear Erza's disbelieving response, though he couldn't tell if it was a laugh or a scoff.
"All right… Point taken," Gray said. "We're still not staying at a random inn."
"…You aren't really planning to drink that, are you?" Erza asked suddenly.
Gray shook his head with a frown. He wasn't the type to test every morsel of food before putting it in his mouth, unlabeled bottles of homemade who-knows-what were a hard no.
Unless… he suspected that it was something he wanted to develop a tolerance for. Gray doubted that Juvia had handed him anything worth experimenting with. Its contents were likely innocent enough.
Weren't they?
Memories of Juvia's over-eager grin sent a shudder down Gray's spine. He rubbed at his arms to will the goosebumps away.
"What's wrong?"
"Did that feel weird to you, too? Towards the end, there?" Gray asked.
He'd had a growing sense of foreboding since they'd left Fantasma Castle. He couldn't explain why but the last encounter with Juvia had left him feeling unsettled.
"It was almost like she didn't want us to leave," Erza said.
"That's probably all it was," Gray said. "I know she said that she doesn't get many visitors. She was probably just sad to see us go."
Maybe Lucy was right. He was getting paranoid…
Gray couldn't help but remember how Juvia's lips had pursed in distaste as they left, a spark of something dark flickering through her eyes so quickly that Gray thought he imagined it.
Or had he?
Ooh, a little bit of a different side of Juvia coming out in this chapter. We'll start to see that our characters are unreliable narrators. What they say isn't necessarily gospel, it's sort of biased towards their perspectives and how they want to see the world.
Not a lot of movement in plot, but we've covered a lot of ground as far as characterization and psyche are concerned. Let me know what you think of Gray, Erza and Juvia now.
Next time, in Toxic, the picnic at Lucy's: "You mean you've finally lost your marbles," Natsu said. "Gray thinks we're being followed," he said to Lucy.
Stop back next Monday for the next installment, or just follow me, Karine of R011ingThunder.
