Chapter 44, Family Dynamics
It was only natural that thoughts of running into Sirius at dinner gave rise to thoughts of the cutting hex on which Severus was currently stuck. "I just realized that I can't bloody practice the hex on your chicken, Kreacher," he said glumly as the three left the library. "No magic outside of school, remember?"
Kreacher smirked. "Kreacher has invented non detect wards that he can place around his kitchen," the elf replied. "He developed them as a silencing charm when Master Sirius was a babe, then expanded it to a magical muffling charm. If Severus Snape remains in the kitchen after Kreacher places the charm on the room, he shall be inside Kreacher's field of influence, and the Ministry will not be able to pick up on what Severus Snape's wand is doing." His lip curled back in contempt as the three retraced their steps down the long hall of portraits. "Those alerting charms applied by the Ministry are truly rather pathetic.
Severus let out a breath, impressed by that simple statement to the extreme. Kreacher was, what Tobias Snape would have called a right bad ass. "Are all elves as powerful," he wondered.
Kreacher snorted. "Perhaps, but most of them aren't nearly smart enough to apply their power properly. Pathetic and useless, Kreacher says," Kreacher muttered darkly. "Like that stupid, stupid Dobby, for example. His Kitchen isn't even organized properly, and his food is uninspired not to mention he has the constitutions of a nervous house fly."
Regulus snickered. "And that's Kreacher being kind," he told Severus.
Kreacher nodded. "Kind Kreacher. Gentle Kreacher." Severus couldn't help chuckling because, not only were the words amusing in themselves, but they were more so because Kreacher somehow seemed to mean them. Kreacher led the way into a large dining room with a high ceiling and a gleaming marble floor. A sparkling chandelier hung above a heavy oak table with matching high backed ornately carved dining chairs. Sirius was strangely nowhere in sight. "Sirius is always late for dinner," Regulus said darkly. He must have noticed Severus glancing about for the git.
"Shall Kreacher go and fetch him," Kreacher asked Mr. and Mrs. Black reluctantly. The two adults were already seated respectively at the head and the foot of the ornate oak table.
"I suppose you should," Mrs. Black said with a sigh. "He won't be happy until he has put someone to unnecessary trouble on his behalf." She scowled.
Regulus gave a sudden grin, a bright contrast to his mother's dark expression."Hey Severus! What do you say you and I go and keep Kreacher company? Sirius doesn't know that you're here yet I don't think. It shall be a fun surprise for him... Or at least for us!"
Severus couldn't help grinning at the thought of Sirius's face when he saw him standing in the hallway outside his bedroom with Kreacher and Regulus. Why it may just cause him to lose his bloody apatite! "Yes, let us do that," he agreed.
"Now boys, no starting a fight," Mr. Black said mildly as the three headed out. "I really do not need the stress."
Regulus hesitated to peer back at his father over one shoulder. "No sir, we won't start anything. We can't speak for Sirius, but at least if he starts with us, we are three to one so it should end quickly." Mr. Black sighed, but made no comment so the three hurried away with Kreacher in the lead. Instead of the straight shot to the library, the elf turned right toward the manor's front door as they exited the dining room, then left up a long flight of dark stairs.
Though Severus did look forward to his presence annoying Sirius, he also hoped this vacation would not be a struggle with the prat the entire time. He did wish to have a bit of peaceful fun while away from Prince manor as well, after all. At least Sirius would never wish to visit Knockturn, so they were sure to be free of him when they went shopping with the Lestranges. At the top of the stairs, Kreacher turned right, leading the way down a long hall, equally as dark as the stairwell. He stopped at a door near the end, pausing to glance at Regulus before tapping at the door.
"Master Sirius. Dinner is served," the elf rasped calmly. There were several long seconds of silence while the three in the hall waited. Eventually small shuffling sounds could be heard from inside the room as of someone moving about.
"You sound too polite," came Sirius's suspicious reply. "You are usually far more angry when I lose track of time and Mummy Dearest sends you up here to fetch me. I do wonder why. Have the bloody Lestranges or Malfoys come to call, I wonder? You always love it when they are here as they always end up needling me.
"Needling you as you needle others, brother mine," Regulus asked, tone hard with sudden angry dislike. "No, the Lestranges nor the Malfoys are here. Now come and eat before it is all gone."
Sirius sighed, and they could hear the sound of his feet thumping down onto the floor before his steps proceeded toward the door. Here it came, thought Severus. Sirius was about to see who was here instead of the Lestranges or Malfoys.
"You little prat," Sirius snarled as he yanked open the bedroom door. At once, the hateful glare faded from his face, a look of shock replacing it as he spotted Severus. For a few glorious seconds, his mouth worked silently while he struggled to find words. Severus smiled. "What is he doing here," Sirius demanded.
Regulus sighed, casting his gaze imploringly toward the ceiling. "We always knew that he was not the brightest Black by far, but I do declare, Kreacher. He is growing positively dimmer by the day." Kreacher snickered and Sirius's foot shot out. Though the elf easily dodged aside, Regulus glared daggers of pure hate at Sirius. "What did Mum tell you about being nasty to Kreacher, you piece of Muggle-loving trash! I am telling!"
"I hate you all," Sirius snarled back. "You cannot begin to imagine how I hate everything about..."
"Why?" Severus cut him off suddenly. Gods, but he was such a royal git to the most royal gittish extreme! "Wait, I know! Is it because we all exist, Sirius?"
Sirius sighed, nodding. "Yeah, Snivellus. As a matter of fact, that is precisely it. Ten points to bloody Slytherin! Ten more if you tell me just what you are doing here?" He sighed, shaking his head. "Never did I expect to have you here tainting my summer as if it wasn't always bad enough. I truly am in hell."
Suddenly Severus had to battle a very strong instinct to punch Sirius right in the face. That prat had no idea of what it was like to have a bad summer. Old man Prince hated him no matter what, and Sirius's family only disliked him because he was constantly antagonistic. "You always bring your hell on yourself, Sirius and you are simply too stupid to see it," he said flatly. "I am here visiting Regulus. Ten points from bloody Gryffindor because you are too thick to deduct the obvious."
"There," Regulus said. "He has answered your foolish question. Now we are going to eat. Do what you want, but we have delivered our message, so our filthy work is done here. Come, Kreacher." Head high, Regulus swept past Severus and Kreacher, heading back down the hall. Giving a resigned sigh, Kreacher pushed Severus after, bringing up the rear himself. Severus wondered why until he recalled that it was Kreacher's idea for him to share Regulus's room for this visit.
He likely did not trust Sirius not to pull some nasty trick if Severus was the last to depart. Severus hurried after Regulus, only pausing once to peer over his shoulder to make certain that Kreacher was following. He was, and Sirius stood watching in the doorway of his bedroom with a dark glower on his face. After a moment, the sound of Sirius's door slamming resounded through the hall, and his footfalls could be heard soon after. It looked like he was coming to eat with the rest of them after all, which Severus found a bit disappointing. As soon as he was certain that Sirius was coming, Regulus began to run down the stairs, forcing Severus and Kreacher to do the same if they wished to keep up. "Mum," Regulus called. "Sirius tried to kick Kreacher again!"
"Thank you, Dear," Walburga called back tiredly. Not for the first time, Severus found himself feeling sorry for her.
"Whatever, Regulus," Sirius growled. "Tell like a baby. I do not care. Do you understand me? I. Do. Not. Bloody. Care!"
"Babies tell, Regulus," Severus told his friend. "What real men do is gang up with a few other real men and start fights, several to one. Grow up, Mate."
Regulus snickered as they strolled into the dining room. "Finally we can eat. You will love Kreacher's lamb stew. We're having it tonight because it's one of my favorites and Kreacher thought you may enjoy it as well."
"That means he wished to show off, so better pepper him with compliments, or your next meal may lead to a stomach ache, Snivellus," Sirius snarked as he trailed in behind them. To his embarrassment, Severus felt the heat rushing to his face. He never enjoyed the name, but at least he could usually retaliate. Doing so in front of Regulus's parents did not seem at all proper, though so he forced himself to ignore Sirius.
"Hello, Sirius," Mr. Black said dryly. "Please do not call our guests rude names if you wish to sit at this dining table."
"Yes, hello, Sirius," Mrs. Black chimed in almost sweetly. "You are not going to be allowed to visit those dreadful Muggle-loving friends of yours at all this summer. One would hope that this punishment shall eventually train you not to be unkind to Kreacher, but if not, it is at least taking something away from you in retribution."
"You weren't going to allow me to see them anyway," Sirius muttered resentfully. Striding around Severus, Regulus and Kreacher, he flung himself into a chair two down from his father. Regulus settled into the chair beside his mother and Kreacher sat to his other side.
Severus hesitated, glancing to Regulus as he wondered where to sit. "Just anywhere you like," Regulus said, waving a casual hand. Severus nodded and seated himself to Kreacher's other side as it was nicely away from Sirius. Suddenly the table was full of food, nearly like at Hogwarts. Before each person was a steaming bowl of thick savory smelling lamb stew. Beside each bowl on a small plate was a wedge of fresh baked bread with a delightfully flaky crust.
Cups of hot tea sat to the other side of the soup bowls of Regulus, Severus and Sirius while Mr. and Mrs. Black had sparkling crystal goblets of red wine. There was a small pot of cream for the tea sitting in the center of the table in a gargoyle shaped pitcher. Kreacher snatched it up at once and poured a liberal amount of cream into Regulus's tea before doing the same to his own. Sirius gave the elf a disgusted look before snatching at it for his own tea, but Kreacher was faster. Switching the pitcher deftly to his other hand he turned to Severus.
"Would Severus Snape like cream in his tea?"
Severus shook his head. "No thank you. Everything smells and looks delicious, though."
Kreacher gave a pleased smile before almost reluctantly passing the gargoyle pitcher to Sirius.
"So. Not only do I not get to see my friends at all this summer, which is nothing particularly rare, but I have to look at Snivellus's ugly face for how long," Sirius demanded.
Mrs. Black drew in a sharp breath. "I did not teach you to be this rude," she thundered.
"He'll be here until he leaves, so you get to wonder. And stop calling him names, Dog Breath!" Regulus replied calmly, quite as if Mrs. Black had not just shrieked. That was impressive, because she had nearly caused Severus to jump out of his skin. Perhaps it was just her normal reaction when it came to Sirius, causing the rest of the family to be used to it. Turning to Severus, Regulus smiled eagerly. "Wait until you taste Kreacher's bread! He actually puts the butter inside. It is so creamy and amazing!"
"Not to mention far less messy," Kreacher added.
"This is true," Mr. Black said, before taking a hardy bite from his own slice of bread. Severus followed Mr. Black's lead, biting into the wedge of bread beside his bowl of stew. The warm butter inside merged perfectly with the bread. The bread itself was soft on the inside and crunchy on the outside just as Severus liked it. Perfection. "Kreacher has the right to brag," he managed after two buttery, crunchy mouthfuls.
Regulus smirked. "Wait until you try the stew!" Regulus was right. Two bowls later, and Severus was certain he would pop, but he was unable to resist seconds. It was so good. Rather than making him feel like a pig for wanting the seconds, Kreacher beamed from ear to ear when Severus gladly accepted another bowl at the elf's invitation. While the family chatted politely, Sirius ate with listless sullen disinterest. Severus was just happy that the prat was polite enough to shut up!
