XVII) Interlude: Suits & Sleep.
(Extended versions of a few memories flashing through Yeong's mind as he considers how best to address *the rumours* with Seon Ho, while preparing that coffee in the kitchen...)
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Yeong POV:
2010. (in every timeline.)
/
(The morning after they got back from their military service.)
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Recovering the old habit as if it was a garment he had never taken off, Yeong joins His Majesty for breakfast in the kitchens, before His Majesty would leave for a full day trip.
When they are nearly done, Yeong has an announcement to make:
"Pyeha. I've requested yesterday an appointment with Captain Ri. He said it was simply a formality, in my case; so there was no reason to wait for the annual sessions. I'm scheduled to sign in twenty minutes."
"But we just got back, Yeong-ah!"
*Are you sure?* - His Majesty's eyes are asking; even as other words are actually spoken; because His Majesty already knows Yeong's answer anyway:
"Won't you take a few days; at least? See your parents?"
"I'm having lunch with Mom; Dad comes back next week. But I've been waiting for that day long enough as it is, Pyeha. I'm joining The Royal Guard today. Finally."
Silence.
And then His Majesty holds Yeong's eyes with nothing but insistance:
"Just to get things straight: you do *not* have to. You're The Unbreakable Sword anyway."
Yeong feels... a lot of things; including a twinge of guilt. But of course he has to insist back; with all he has:
"I want to, Pyeha. You know I want to."
His Majesty audibly exhales through his nose but cannot refute the point; and Yeong knows the matter is sealed.
A smile - somehow forced, yet genuine still:
"Congratulations are in order, then. Let's celebrate at dinner."
Yeong smiles back softly - expressing his profound gratefulness is simply more imperative than jumping around excitedly, right:
"Thank you, Pyeha."
The smile deepens, reaching His Majesty's eyes more fully:
"No. Thank *you*, Yeongie."
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After his signature has sealed his enlistment and Captain Ri has shaken his hand and thanked him and congratulated him quite a lot more profusely than strictly protocolair, his now officially Captain informs him that Lady Noh wants a word with him while they would be away. So, after having watched the cars leave from afar, Yeong goes to Lady Noh's office.
He is greeted with a vibrant smile as he is let in and she stands up to meet him: "My dear"; followed by a conniving whisper as she leans closer with twinkling eyes: "So; it's official by now, if I'm not mistaken?"
Lady Noh is happy on his behalf in a way that His Majesty could never be; and Yeong is free to not only smile warmly but even laugh happily as he confirms, bowing some:
"It is, Your Ladyship."
She squeezes his left arm quite strongly before pecking him once on each cheek - a noteworthy occurence, even if not exactly rare while growing up. She hasn't even greeted him back to The Palace in that way the day before.
"Congratulations."
Yeong knows he is beaming.
"Thank you. So that's why you wanted to see me?"
"I *always* want to see you." But she sighs then; and turns at once more serious, evidently. "But I do have something to tell you, indeed. Come sit with me."
Yeong's heart misses a beat; then accelerates. He has been summoned then - for a specific reason. And the discussion to come has obviously been planned during His Majesty's absence, but His Majesty's birthday is nowhere yet in sight. Yeong can't help but worry. And he just has to know. Now. No niceties could soften the blow anyway. Not to him. And definitely not to His M- Yeong blurts out, as Lady Noh sits back down:
"Please tell me you're fine."
Lady Noh is surprised; and the second before she answers stretches and stretches and stretches...
She looks at him very softly as it clicks:
"I am fine, my dear." (Relief - and Yeong's heart quiets down.) "Sorry I've scared you. But I assure you, you do not need to worry about my health."
"I am very pleased to hear that, Your Ladyship." (And Yeong is; truly. He is only more puzzled though, about what Lady Noh might need to discuss with him.)
Yeong takes a seat:
"What's the matter?"
Silence.
A sigh. (Again?)
"I take it His Majesty hasn't told you, then..."
"Told me what, Your Ladyship?"
"It's been months (Months?) - I thought; maybe... But His Majesty truly meant it when He said He didn't want you to hear about this; obviously."
She is glancing back and forth between him and away, contorting her hands, as if torn between her will to follow His Majesty's wishes and her (blatant) need (then) to inform him about the evident secret anyway.
Yeong is not only puzzled by now; he is simply *terrified*. Hadn't His Majesty's last health check been a few months ago?
Lady Noh notices it right away the next time her eyes lands again on his face:
"Ah! His Majesty is in perfect health too. (Relief; so fierce it feels as if Yeong might need to sit down - even though he is already sitting.) Sorry again; I'm being overly dramatic apparently."
Yeong takes a calming breath, then prudently works ahead:
"Whatever this is about; I know you always consider His Majesty's best interest first, Your Ladyship. His Majesty knows that too."
"What about your best interest?"
"My best interest?" (Is this about *him*?) "I do not understand; but my best interest, surely, is whatever is in His Majesty's best interest."
"Ah! My dear..." (taking his hands between hers briefly) "For what it's worth, though? I do believe it is simply in your best interest too to be aware of the situation. No one will ever confront His Majesty. But you should be prepared; in the improbable case someone dares to mention it to you..."
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And so Lady Noh had told him - or better said: had hinted at it long enough for Yeong to get the jest, before actually talking about it only once her conscience could rest somehow clean about not having literally spilled it out herself.
(The whole process including: showing him a few articles, with pictures taken during their military service - the first being the official photo of their squad with their names underneath, then a few candids (even if of course authorized) taken during press-open trainings; telling him how The Kingdom had worked out that he had grown up at The Palace, and that he and His Majesty were evidently thick as (honorable) thieves - Yeong (thinking that was what the conversation was about) assuring that it wasn't bothering him if is his life got public: he had nothing to hide to start with, and he hoped to be able to accompany His Majesty out one day, which would make him a public figure then if not now anyway, and mentioning that his father had been a close friend to Late King Lee Ho too, so The Kingdom shouldn't be that surprised that their sons got along; which had brought Lady Noh to note that back then the times were different and the Internet didn't exist - and Yeong had had truly less and less idea about where the conversation was actually going; and that she had to apologize because she felt partly responsible, of course, because she had played a part, both in tightening security and in welcoming Yeong at The Palace at the time; and surely this was in large part due to the fact that His Majesty had grown up with so very few people around; and also Yeong's good looks and bright smiles were probably not helping - and what had his looks or smiles to do with any of this; but the thing was that some people had picked up on the history and the affection between them and had got some ideas into their head - and were actually talking about it, more or less openly, instead of minding their own business; but it would no doubt dissipate by itself as soon as His Majesty would meet someone nice; and-)
.
"Oh." (What? No? Really? How? Come again?)
"Oh indeed. Are you all right, my dear?"
"Am *I*-? I do not care much about what people might make of me. But what is being said - exactly? Because I will not tolerate for any blemish on His Majesty."
His Majesty is The King. His Majesty is older than him. You bet Yeong is ready to obliterate anyone daring to even hint that His Majesty could ever (ab)use his authority to abuse anyone; and himself in particular.
"Of course you wouldn't. Just as His Majesty's first objection was about anyone seeing you as his dirty secret; when anyone should just be proud and grateful for being with you. But it seems to be all, well, genuinely romantic, let's say."
Lady Noh then explains in a few carefully chosen words (without using the actual words neither of them are willing to even think upon in association with His Majesty) that nothing irreprobable is actually circulating; even if the whole thing is still irreverentious, no matter how well intended. But it is, in fact, even if in a silly way, a sign that The Kingdom does wish for His Majesty's happiness: because people appear to be truly supportive and genuinely happy for the both of them - which is, no matter how weird the whole situation is, a good thing: proof that The Kingdom has indeed become an open and accepting space, since His Majesty's Grandfather's Acts.
Yeong quiets down some, maybe still not entirely confident in the only positive presentation of the unexpected matter at hand, but at least trusting His Majesty's devoted PR team to thoroughly monitor the situation and right away take care of it, if anything actually wrong ever came up.
But Yeong turns downright resolute:
"Still. We shouldn't feed it. What can I do? I'll agree to whatever might be necessary."
"Aigoo! You do not need to do anything - and least of all any kind of declaration. As far as The Palace is concerned, the whole situation just isn't an issue - because it doesn't even exist. Also, as far as His Majesty is concerned, you aren't aware of it."
"Of course. I understand. On both accounts."
Denying the rumours would not only be pointless, because people would probably just continue to believe whatever they wanted to start with, but it would also be, in fact, counterproductive. Denying them would infer acknowledging their existence to start with, which would only give them more public attention and more fuel to burn. Even more problematic, making any statement about those would mean explaining or taking positions which might at best get misinterpretated, or worse, seen as offending to some, or worst, as outright lies by others. Appearing to be entirely unaware of the whole thing was actually the only way to deal with the situation, indeed.
"Does it help if I move out?"
"None of this is on you, my dear."
"But does it help if I move out?"
"His Majesty has insisted your life shouldn't be altered in any way."
"Your Ladyship. You refusing to answer the question still is an answer on its own. Besides, how could *the place where I sleep* ever matter enough to alter my life? As long as it is near enough to The Palace, of course. I'll start searching right away."
Yeong is about to stand up; but Lady Noh stops him by holding onto his left wrist, so he doesn't - and her hand lets go of him; but not her gentle, thankful gaze:
"Jo Yeong. You truly are a blessing; you know that, right, my dear?"
"It truly isn't a big deal."
"His Majesty would strongly disagree."
"I'll explain to His Majesty. It doesn't even have to be related to any of this. To be honest; I was thinking about moving out anyway."
A frown in disbelief:
"Were you?"
Yeong nods:
"I was. So I'll just take the first place I can find, instead of taking my time to choose; that's all. I can always move out later again if needed."
"Now, now! If you think I'm letting you sleep in some shack, you do not know me at all."
"Your Ladyship?"
"I wouldn't have mentioned it; but I was hoping you would propose. And well, you did indeed. Over the last six months, I've rented a few places, upgrading if possible any time something adequate came free in the area. I'm quite satisfied by now: a tidy one bedroom apartment; unfurnished, but we can take care of the necessary minimum fast enough now that you're back. The building has just been refreshed last year - including every kitchen and sanitories. And with your young legs, it shouldn't be more than five minutes away from the South gate."
"That's conveniently close indeed." (aware enough though of the probable prices, so close to The Palace) "How much-"
"The rent stays under my name, on behalf of The Crown. You'll be charged the usual percent fee on your salary in accordance to your rank, as if you were any other live-in staff member."
"But-"
"Surely, it's the least we can do. Leave it be."
A staring contest Yeong has to accept to lose.
"I'm paying for the furniture."
A smile.
"Fine. But I'm still buying you the best mattress myself. No discussion. It is after all imperative for you to sleep well."
Yeong bows in thanks:
"That's very kind of you, Your Ladyship."
"Nonsense, my dear. Now, let me call a car and let's go see what you think of it."
Yeong would have taken the flat no matter what; but it is very nice indeed.
There is a cinema just at the other side of the street, too; definitely a bonus.
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Later on; at dinner that evening, as agreed:
"So. *Junior* Jo Yeong. When do you start: first of next month?"
Yeong can't help but smile bright and proud at the added weight on the new address:
"Indeed, Pyeha."
"You'll have to give me your schedule. If you're intent on spending your days guarding doors, then I'm intent on making sure said doors will be in my vicinity at least once in a while. Not that I'm ungrateful or unaware that everyone is in fact guarding *me*; not doors - but you understand what I mean."
"That won't be necessary, Pyeha. Between breaks and trainings I can skip to a more convenient time if needed, I'll make sure to be able to come and taste your meals anyway - no matter where I'll be stationed."
"That's settled, then. When is your appointment with the tailor?"
"They're taking my measurements the day after tomorrow in the morning; the suits should be ready for my first day."
"What time, Yeong-ah."
"Apologies. 10:30, Pyeha."
"I'll have them come over for it. And I'll buy you one too - not the standard issue."
"Palace has to wear the standard issue; we mustn't clash-"
His Majesty interrupts him; evidently serious even as His voice and eyes are warm and playful:
"Yeong-ah! (authoritative but not sharp - prolonging the affectionate extension until it turns longer than his name; an usual signal of His Majesty joking with him) When your King says he's buying you your first suit, you give a bow and express your gratitude. Only your parents may fight me over the honor; and I do not believe they will; do you?"
(His parents would never; of course.) Yeong at once bows low, and with sincerity:
"Thank you, Pyeha."
His Majesty graces him with a fond smile when he straightens back up:
"That's more like it. Besides, we both know you won't be Palace for more than the newbie's two-months get-to-know-where-is-what you insist on taking no matter how superfluous, considering your already extensive knowledge of the area. Ah! Where did the time go, Yeong-ah... The Navy parade uniform was already a shock; and now you're going to wear suits every day? It feels like only yesterday, taking breakfast with you in your Gohan pajama's. We're getting old, aren't we?"
Yeong can't help but smile somewhat impishly:
"I'm still younger than you are, Pyeha."
His Majesty chuckles then outright tsks; joy reverberating in His eyes even after He has sobered up:
"I'm scheduling your beheading for the day after tomorrow at 11:00."
"I do not think the tailor will be finished with me by then already, Pyeha."
"How inconvenient. Lucky you."
"Lucky me indeed, Pyeha."
A soft smile - which turns mischievous:
"I might buy you a three pieces, though..."
/
(Tailor appointment.)
Yeong is not exactly surprised by the amount of suits the tailor has brought over for him to try; but it still is *a lot*. His Majesty is having a blast, apparently. To be fair, though, it is nice indeed to be back at The Palace after a year and a half away from it, and it kind of shows...
Of course, His Majesty first makes Yeong try out a very classic grey three-pieces, for good measure, prolonging the joke from two evenings ago - and Yeong silently chuckles as he obliges and puts it on; then smirks as His Majesty's smirks when Yeong reappears, before judging out loud that 'it wouldn't do after all'.
Then come the more modern-styled two-pieces Yeong has always considered as the uniform he'd be most honored to wear; but nothing black (the standard issue being black already). Yeong happily suffers through the seemingly obligatory trying out of every color available (nothing reddish, though - His Majesty is indeed magnanimous; always), not minding much about feeling like a Barbie doll as His Majesty apparently has the time of his life playfully turning down every option as soon as Yeong gets out of the closeted dressing space, widely smirking at him while tutting and naying from his seat; before His Majesty finally asks for *blue* - at once nothing but serious.
His Majesty is already waiting for him, standing, when Yeong comes out in the first blue suit, and minutiously appraises it from every angle as Yeong stands in front of the mirror, before having him try the next option.
Yeong feels particularly good and right in the third blue suit; and His Majesty evidently agrees - judging from the warm smile right as Yeong gets into view:
"I think we have a winner", and Yeong beams and stands even taller in front of the mirror.
There are two other suits left to try, and His Majesty seriously judges them too; but of course Yeong is gifted the third blue suit.
"Work cut", His Majesty informs the tailor when voicing his final choice, without Yeong having had to express his wish.
"Thank you, Pyeha."
And wanting to give something in return, Yeong asks for His Majesty's advice (preference) about which dress shirt to wear under the chosen suit. Yeong orders two of His Majesty's favorite model, paying for those himself.
/
(A week later)
The flat is furnished enough with the basics by now; and Yeong is telling His Majesty he is moving out.
Open shock right away morphes into fierce anger:
"No. Out of the question. I am not kicking you out."
Yeong readily jumps in; but very softly - not in challenge:
"Who said I was being kicked out, Pyeha?"
His Majesty gives him a stern look but in the end doesn't comment further, after having judged Yeong honest indeed - surprisingly; and the pretend still in place to this day starts - even if it isn't pretend anyway:
"I have troubles falling asleep. I believe moving out will solve the issue."
"What? Since when?"
"I started noticing it about a third into our military service. There were guards everywhere, of course; but it felt like I was the closest option, much more than when at The Palace, and... It's like there's a radar in my skull I can't turn off. If you're around, Pyeha; then I have to be alert."
"Yeong-ah..."
"It's stupid; and entirely counterproductive - I know. I can't be adequate as your guard if I'm not getting enough sleep - and I *want* to be *very* adequate. But knowing and wanting are not enough on their own to deal with it; so I have to... take you out of that equation, Pyeha. If I'm not close enough to be physically able to be your guard, then the only thing that's left to serve you best is actually *to fall asleep*, right. But that's all it is in the end. A place to sleep. I'll be back at the Palace every day before you even wake up, Pyeha."
A bit - His Majesty's eyes piercing and searching; Yeong's letting his resolve shine through.
"Let me help you find a nice place, then."
"The appartment I'm moving in is definitely more than fine already, Pyeha. Lady Noh's been helping me finding and furnishing it."
"Lady Noh; I see..."
"I need it, Pyeha. Besides, there's a cinema nearby. That's an upgrade."
"I'm certain our projection room is equipped with the finest equipment."
"I'm sure it is. But Lady Noh won't be monitoring the popcorn and soda."
A surprised chuckle.
"I can't argue with that. (A bit.) Detailed reports are in order then. Including the nice people you might meet there."
And Yeong realizes that His Majesty is simply relenting because his new lodgings might offer Yeong the possibility to meet someone cute, hopefully. The concern is touching; and Yeong is certain it must reverberate through his smile as he pledges:
"Duly noted, Pyeha."
/
(Two days later.)
Yeong wears the black standard issue suit with pride as he hurries towards the kitchens, in order to wish His Majesty a good day and let him know where he would be assigned (the back of the gardens, sea side - commonly seen as the least accessible area; and thus a logical spot for a rookie's first day). Everyone he meets on his way silently greets him with a kind smile or a quick nod, and, for the most daring, a thumb-up in encouragement.
"You look way too serious all suited up; but you do own it. You look good; not silly", His Majesty finally decides after having analysed his new style from tip to toe.
The praise is only honest; and Yeong decides not to dwell upon the reminder about the possible inconvenience of his good looks (to misquote Lady Noh) - and jokes with a wink but unforged assurance:
"As if I wouldn't look good in anything, Pyeha."
His Majesty starts more wheezing than laughing; and Yeong actually hopes His Majesty will not actually choke on his breakfast:
"That's the spirit, Yeong-ah! Good for you!"
And as it's just the two of them, Yeong also feels free to smile bright and true.
(You bet though Yeong will from now grow more prudent about his smiles when in public.)
/
(Afterwards...)
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"Popcorn should be forbidden", Yeong had (half) joked after his first visit to the cinema. "You can barely hear the movie over the ambiant scrunching."
His Majesty had laughed - his booming laugh.
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Yeong had always worn His Majesty's first suit combined with its assigned dress shirt - every Monday; from the moment he had joined His Majesty's Security Team, until the ensemble had been deemed too worn-down by The Palace laundry service. Yeong had kept it; instead of giving it away as usual with the rest of his clothes.
.
As a Junior, Yeong had made sure to go to the cinema about every two or three weeks. As a Senior, about once every two or three months. Since becoming Captain, he had gone once - at His Majesty's request; about six months in. After that, he had just found excuses not to go whenever His Majesty had been hinting at it. His Majesty had never stopped inquiring about it, though.
There had never been any mention of any nice people Yeong might have met there; because Yeong had never really been interacting with anyone. Over such matters, His Majesty had never asked anything.
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AN:
Hello :)
Look who's back and went once more off tracks somehow? The planning was to shortly involve those memories as a way to begin (what will now be next) chapter, but well... It took a life of its own? Why am I even surprised?
Squeechy hugs to you all !
Anyway: In case you wonder: they spent their military service out of The Palace, of course. But Gon had council meetings planned at least once a week - he was still actively 'kinging' indeed and stayed well informed and took decisions about The Kingdom's affairs; there were just no official visits and other social attendances, except when imperatively necessary (greeting a visiting foreign ruler and such).
And: In my world there is LGBTQIA+ official recognition in The Kingdom since Gon's grandfather's ruling (and early on in his reign); and acceptance for even longer.
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Warning: Just feel free to ignore what follows. I'm apparently having massive and unstoppable Yeong related emotions right now and I just have to let them run in order not to explode?
MY EVERYTHING !
*HUGE SIGH* (plural - and of every possible kind) *INSANE SCREAMING INTO THE VOID* (plural - and of every possible kind) *REPEATED HEAD BANGING AGAINST A WALL* (aka simply normal reactions whenever I am thinking about Yeong?)
Yeong is truly a punch in the guts character - with everything he is, and in everything he does; and I am so thankful I got to 'meet' him - because I love him; into madness and into forever. He is the perfect mix of intense / extreme / unhinged / feral overachiever, while being at the same time so entirely soft / open / caring - and so *proud* of it ALL, and ALL THE TIME (both about himself and about Gon); and I just... *INHUMAN NOISES*. So, I know my Yeong may seem too much and over the top (but well, have you SEEN him? he is CLEARLY too much and over the top to start with, lol); but to me, he just makes sense that way - and I blame it ALL on WDH's (perfect) acting choices! (And don't get me started on WDH or I will never be able to shut up!)
Anyway. That's why I chose that title for this fic. Of course it's 'You'll always have me' (and not 'I'll always be yours' or whatever else). Because it's all about the YOU for Yeong; never about the I. He's honestly selfless; even as he is entirely selfish - and I want to go hurl myself into the sun screaming about it.
Yeong wants to be Gon's *KNIGHT*. He wants to be worthy. He wants to be trusted. He wants to be the first weapon and the last shield. He wants to be his King's *CHAMPION*. He lives for this. And he's willing to fight for this; and he's not afraid to suffer for this; and he's truly ready to die for this - if it comes to that. That's in fact the only romance Yeong is actually invested in - he is in love with that ideal, that notion: the purity and (arguable, but for him) superiority of that possibly (though only if necessary) entire giving of one self without receiving anything in return.
But serving Gon in any way is not only Yeong's chosen self-definition and the measure of his self-worth and his reason to live (or die): it's also A CRAVING. THE PRIDE ! Yeong is truly and entirely proud of Gon (Gon IS just the best), and proud of loving Gon (of course), and yes, also, proud of *being used* by Gon. To him, it is proof that he has Gon's trust; and proving that he is worthy of that trust by succeeding to perform whatever asked is in fact Yeong's hardcore drug. (And if it blends into anything and everything he's ever done and ever will do; well, consider yourself warned?) But I mean... Did you see THE PERFECTION of that promo vid with adorkable Yeong (and bonus precious precious Eun Seob :)) answering questions? I AM SCREEEECHINNNNGGGGG! (you tube dot com ( / ) watch?v=jMzzo1sz3vA): (deadly serious) Hobbies: Protect The King / Aspirations: Protect The King till I die / Specialty: Thoroughly protect The King / Who do you admire: The King / What do you like the most: (To protect) The King / When did you first meet The King: (very softly) When I was 4 years old. *ME VOMITING RAINBOWS ALL OVER THE PLACE* He's just officially *A LOT* (TM) - and I love him to pieces. AAAAAHHHH !
Nevertheless: Yeong simply IS dedication impersonated; unending loyalty; bottomless devotion. His love for Gon is free of any charge and expectation. Nothing is required in return: being *allowed* (and *trusted*!) to be at Gon's side is enough - and is everything - on its own. Yeong's King is Gon, and Gon is Yeong's King. Loving Gon as his King is Yeong's duty. Loving Gon as the person who happens to be his King is for Yeong nothing but an evidence. And both are, apart and together at once, Yeong's reason to live and reason to die. There is place for duty and for love; because for Yeong duty is equivalent to love, and love is equivalent to duty - because there is no line between the two: the two have merged - just as Gon is a fusion, of The King and The Person who is The King. And Yeong will fight everything and everyone to the very end for this - FOR *HIM*: HIS PYEHA - that duality that is Gon+King which encompasses everything - Yeong's entire life and being included. (But nothing exists - nothing CAN exist - beyond that duality combination. At least: until GON himself goes there first - and then Yeong's instant U-turn is giving everyone (me and Gon included) a whiplash :) *chuuuuutttt*)
So you bet Yeong shatters my heart - because I agree with Seon Ho's take in last chapter: Yeong DID indoctrinate and brainwash himself. And it could have backfire *spectacularly* - and make him downright miserable, possibly; and tragic, definitely and always. To be honest? I was SO certain Yeong was going to die: it would have make sense; within the narrative. But the thing is: the narrative DIDN'T kill him. (And even better: GON didn't - couldn't!). And I was actually shocked when Yeong turned out to be alive still (and all right to boot :)) But if canon didn't go there, then you can be sure I will simply NOT and NEVER go there. Moreover, if canon allows him to live, then I'm going to make sure my blorboest blorbo to have ever blorbed in blorboville finally gets the very best life (which he deserves), right ! (And to him of course the very best is Gon - I do not make the rules, lol)
On a side note, because I forgot to explain this last time: There are still multiple mentions throughout this fic about Yeong's in fact non-memories of their first years even after the last reset. Even though we know Yeong saw a flash of being given The Sword in what would have been his last moment (and I AM SCREECHIIIIIIIING ! that particular memory being pulled out then from so DEEP !), I believe his mind was by then too fuzzy already for the glimpse to actually stick - even though he might have kept some general uneasy veiled sense/feeling about it... which he doesn't want to lift up, because Gon crying is just a NO WAY to start with. Imo, if Yeong was ever to witness Gon's crying, his first instinct would be to order everyone out right away, and then keep a feral vigil at the door until being certain the moment has passed; and then just never mention it and ensure no one else ever mentions it too - because that would be actually *the only way* to be comforting Gon (a King doesn't cry, right).
Finally: Because I got punched in the guts by Yeong feels when I saw this beautiful insane quote pass on my Tumblr (months ago; but I saved it to share it with you when it would fit best - and I think it fits in this end note) :
(Lately) I've been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be… and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody's (favorite) hiding place, the place they can put everything (they know) they need to survive, (every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer,) and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe. (And keep HIM safe.)
(Andrea Gibson)
AAAAHHHH ! PERFECT QUOTE IS PERFECT !
( And as always, thanks for any feedback, it means the Manpasikjeok to me!)
