"I can't be looking over my shoulder, making sure you're okay."

"You son of a bitch, you know that's not true."


"Is that a flower in your cup?"


"I just need space to disagree with you so that I don't feel like it's going to cost me our partnership."

"Well, like you said, you're the longest relationship that I've ever had with a man. Who else would put up with me?"


"Want to come up? It's getting cold," He offers, suddenly. He was still holding his coffee cup.

Their relationship had been strained ever since Gitano. The tension could almost be cut with a knife. And she was tired, so completely exhausted. She thought Computer Crimes would be the opening Elliot needed to take a chance in this, in them. But he didn't.

And Oregon happened, and she came back to Dani Beck, his partner , sitting at her desk, like she never even existed. That hurt more than she could tell, even more when she heard the humors about how close her partner had actually gotten with the blonde colleague. It was so weird, she felt like he wanted her, but at the same time he never moved a finger to change the status quo .

Fever dream high in the quiet of the night
You know that I caught it (oh, yeah, you're right, I want it)

She would never do that, she wasn't the one with a family. All she had to lose was in front of her, and she felt like she lost him anyway. So that night when he invited her to come up, she didn't have the energy to say no anymore. She only nodded and pushed herself up from the front steps of his apartment building, following behind him on the way to his apartment.

As she expected, the conversation was strained, forced and painful. They never had so much trouble talking to one another, it was quite disconcerting. She doesn't know how it happened, but they changed from coffee and tea to beer. Each time he raised to grab another one, he sat back down closer to her than before. Sometime later they talked about a case from a few years back and his hand played with the ends of her hair and no personal space between them, it felt like the old days.

Only this time he wasn't married anymore, he signed the papers. Sure, they hadn't been handed in yet, but it was a technicality. This time when he looked at her lips, he had a hard time moving his gaze. She didn't know who leaned in first, or if they both did at the same time, but their lips were suddenly touching and from a moment to another she was straddling him and they were making out on his couch.

But when she moved her hand from the back of his neck to the buttons on his shit, he stopped. Breath hagged, lips swollen from her kisses. "Liv," he whispered into her lips. "Wait," he held her hands against his chest.

"What is it?" she looks into his arms, searching for an answer.

"I just need you to know- I just got divorced, I've been married since I was 17, I don't think I'm ready for anything more. And if we do this, I want you to know that before we go on," he said.

She looked at him still dizzy from their kiss. "You mean, this will be like friends with benefits?" She asked.

"At least for a while, I need to be able to be on my own for a while, is that ok?" He looked into her eyes.

Bad, bad boy, shiny toy with a price
You know that I bought it (oh, yeah, you're right, I want it)

She was sure she'd do anything for him right at that moment, she might regret this later, but now? Now she nodded and took his lips into another hungry kiss. Hands roamed, clothes were discarded on the way to the bedroom and she spent the whole night learning every shape of his body, every sound he let out and every expression he made.

And it's new, the shape of your body

What could possibly go wrong?


They had a really long week. They've been in their deal for two months now, it was working, kinda. She wanted more, she wasn't going to deny it, but she was giving him time. A couple of times a week, he'd show up with dinner at her apartment and they would eat, talk and have sex. That part they were really good at, each time getting better. But he was always gone when she woke up, and that left a bitter taste in her mouth.

It's blue, the feeling I've got
And it's ooh, whoa oh
It's a cruel summer

They were pretty cautious at the precinct, but sometimes he looked at her a little too long or stayed a little too close. The cases kept coming, one worse than the other and she couldn't get surprised at the lack of humanity anymore.

"Wanna go for drinks?" He asked from across the table.

She looked up from the file she was reading, dazed from the interruption in her thought process. She looked around and saw that Munch was distracted near the coffee maker, but when she looked toward their table she saw Fin watching her, pensive.

"Hmm, sure," she said. He stood up and grabbed his jacket, taking a few steps before realizing she wasn't following him.

"Liv?" he called.

"Go ahead, I'll meet you there, I just have to finish something," she gave him a fake smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. His brows furrowed.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yep, go on, I'll be there soon." She saw him hesitating but accepting at the end. She watched him until he was inside the elevator and the door closed. That's when she finally left a long sigh out, slumping in the chair and closing her eyes.

When she opened them again, Fin was still watching her. "Can I help you?" She asked.

"What are you doing, baby girl?" He asked.

"I don't know what you mean," she closed the file she had in her hands and started arranging her table, getting ready to leave.

"Liv, you may be fooling all these guys, but I didn't get my detective badge for nothing. I'm worried about you," he said leaning back on his chair.

"It's all cool, Fin, I appreciate your concern," she smiled at him picking up her own jacket.

It's cool, that's what I tell 'em
No rules in breakable heaven
But ooh, whoa oh
It's a cruel summer

"Just let me know if I have to kick some ass, ok? No one messes with my girl, I've got you," he says as she leaves. Fin sighed, these two fools were going to break each other's hearts.


Hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine
I'm not dying (oh, yeah, you're right, I want it)
You say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times
We're not trying (oh, yeah, you're right, I want it)

Three months into their agreement and she was beginning to question her own sanity. He got pretty comfortable, but she was having some trouble. Even now, looking at him hitting the vending machine so his snack would fall, she felt irritated. How could he be so cool when she felt like they were screwing it all up.

His divorce was final, his ring was gone and she still felt like his mistress. She knew she wasn't, and that he never treated her like it. It wasn't rational. But for so long Kathy set the clear boundaries between them, that now it was hard to let it go.

And now Kathy dropped by the precinct to talk to Elliot about the children's custody, but every time she came by, Elliot looked defeated after. Like he wished none of this ever happened and that he could go back home. She knew it was probably more about the children than about Kathy, but her insecurity was getting the best of her. She felt like if Kathy asked, he'd go back without a second thought.

I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes
And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

That was the thing, when they were together, in the sanctuary of her sheets, none of this matted. Only them, only the feelings he elicited from her body. How he fits perfectly inside of her and how she fits perfectly against his body.

But he never stayed the night. And that's where her insecurity got the best of her.

The other thing was: his ring was a boundary to other women too, and now, without it on his finger, he had all kinds of women coming up to him. And he had nothing to stop him, because he didn't have a wife, and he certainly didn't have a girlfriend.


They were at the bar when it finally happened. She has been avoiding his calls after work, and trying to stay clear from any conversations about them. She knew he caught something wasn't right, he was following her with his eyes all day long with a little crease between his brows. She managed to escape him all day, but the team decided to go to a bar after work and she didn't have an excuse to say no.

So as she offered to grab the drinks, Elliot followed her to help.

"What's going on?" he asked after she asked for their drinks.

"What you mean?"

"Olivia, you've been avoiding me all week," he says exasperated.

"I just wasn't in the mood, is that a problem?" She answers.

"You know very well this is not about the sex, you've been avoiding me at work too. I just want you to talk to me," he begged.

Said I'm fine, but it wasn't true
I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

"Elliot, I'm fine, nothing is wrong. Just a difficult week, alright?" She looked into his eyes and she could tell he knew she was lying.

"Olivia," he started again.

"Holy shit, let it go!" She turned around leaving the bar without looking back.

Elliot watched her walking away and felt someone slap the back of his head. He turned around to see an angry Fin.

"I don't know what kind of mess you got yourselves in. But don't be an idiot! Go after her!" He said pointing to where she had gone.

He took off after her, she was in the middle of the block when he reached her.

"Olivia, why are you avoiding me? Why don't you pick up the phone?" He asked, desperately. "What did I do wrong? You don't want this anymore, is that it?"

"It's not it, Elliot. Let it go," she pleaded, still walking.

"No, I won't let it go!" He protested. "Can you stop, please?" They both stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

Her head was spinning, her stomach felt like it contorting into itself, she felt nauseous and dizzy at the same time and he just wouldn't shut the fuck up.

"Was it too much?" He grabbed both her shoulders putting her directly in front of him. "Am I too much?" She closes her eyes tightly and shakes her head.

God, she couldn't think. How did she get home from here?

"Or did you just get tired of it? Of me ." He continued with his serial questions. "Just tell me if that is it, I can handle it." He begged her.

Dear God, he just wouldn't stop.

"I just need t-" but he gets interrupted, her voice coming out urgently before she could even stop or process it.

" I love you! Ok?" She screams as the first tear runs down her face. "I love you, that's why! I can't stand to spend the night with you and pretend everything is fine the next morning when I wake up alone because you left, or see you flirting left and right because we are not in a relationship, or even to pretend my heart doesn't do somersaults when I'm near you. I can't watch Kathy dropping by, absolutely terrified that this is it, and you are going back to her. This was not our deal, it wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be just sex. So I'm removing myself from this excruciating equation." She raises her eyes and he is gapping at her, looking absolutely confused. The tears run freely down her face now.

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar

" What? " he lets out.

And I scream for whatever it's worth
I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

"I love you," she repeats, defeatedly looking down. "Ain't that the worst thing you have ever heard?" She whispers after, dropping her shoulders.

They fall in complete silence. Her tears kept coming and she couldn't bear to look at him. But the silence was killing her and her eyes made their way away from the ground, to his legs and torso, to his neck and stopped at his face. His grinning face.

He looks up, grinning like a devil

"What- What are you smiling about?" She asked, completely thrown out by his reaction.

"You love me," he repeated her words. "You actually love me, I can't believe it!" He says, exuberantly.

"What the hell?" She couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"I love you too," he said. "I didn't want to scare you away, I was giving you time, if I knew…" he let out a laugh. "Olivia, I don't stay because I didn't want to make you feel smothered, if you only knew the effort I have to make to leave you in bed and go home. I'd stay forever if you asked me." He put his hand on her neck, using his thumb to clean a few tears on her cheek. "I'm never going back to Kathy, I'm never going to anyone but you, Liv. The moment our lips touched, I knew I'd never kiss anyone ever again."

She let out a sob she had been holding on to for months and pulled him in for a kiss. They kept repeating I Love You 's in between kisses.

"Go home you damn fools, it's been a cruel summer seeing you pinning for each other. Please, don't involve me ever again." Fin's voice brought them out of their bubble.

They let out a laugh, realizing they had not been discreet at all. It had been a cruel summer, but the fall promised to be a really great season for them.

It's a cruel summer
With you