Muffy swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat and blinked the mistiness out of her eyes. The river before her trickled along, a normally soothing song that did little to quell the stabbing pain in her heart.

Maybe it would be better to focus on other things…

A bitter chuckle escaped her mouth.

Like what? How much the balls of my feet are aching?

She carefully dabbed at her eyes, lest her makeup run.

"Oh, who cares!" she lamented aloud in frustration. "It's not like I have anywhere I have to be, anyway!"

She unceremoniously kicked her high heels off beside her and plopped down on the wooden planks, dangling her feet in the water. It pushed her feet along, and she made no effort to kick against the current, as she was safely seated on the edge of the bridge. The cool relief of the river felt so good that it caused the tears to return, but she made no effort to stop them this time.

She had perfected the makeup tutorials she researched for that particular outing. Her best dress and a new, fashionable scarf – her hair perfectly curled, and a coordinating handbag that she only used on special occasions. A date in the city, on the arm of the man who held her heart.

It was too good to be true. It always is.

How many times has this happened now?

There was a large, bright fish in the clear water, swimming upstream. Green head and red body – a salmon that was lagging behind for the spring run. The other fish had fought against the waves weeks ago, filling the river as they made their way back to where they had hatched, in order to find a mate. It had become a spectacle every year, filling the river with frenzied, jumping fish.

She sadly smiled at the lone salmon – a late bloomer, perhaps, she thought to herself.

"I find a pretty pair of eyes and fall too hard too fast. I tell myself to be patient and that the right person will come, but..."

She held her head in her hands and sniffed.

But I don't want to wait – I want to find out right away… to learn if they're right for me.

They never are.

The fish swam against the current with all its might until it became a mere dot in the distance.

And it looks like the both of us are running out of time…

Her tears dripped into the water below, causing ripples along the surface.

The adrenaline rush – the blushes and giggles, pulse pounding, heart leaping.

The desire to belong to someone and have them be hers.

The ache to wake next to her love each morning, a warm body beside her, smiling kindly.

Muffy gave her all, swimming towards those dreams, but in the end, there was never anyone waiting for her at the top of the stream. She didn't allow herself to rest, no matter how much it ached. She gasped, diving back in, using her strongest strokes, choking on the water.

Be patient? Perhaps it is very good advice, but I don't have the luxury of time.

And yet…

The price I pay each time for this…

A lump formed in Muffy's throat as she shook her head, trying to decide if it was worth any more tears. How many scars were on her heart? Too old, too young, simply a friend, second best. Despite the pain, she jumped back in, blindly falling head over heels. Yes, the feelings of new love were addictive, but the whiplash of heartbreak left her reeling.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Muffy looked out at the flowing water.

"When will I ever take my own advice? Will I ever learn?"