(September 7, 2010)

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Levi's alarm clock wouldn't go off for another hour, but he knew he wouldn't be falling back to sleep. So instead he stared up at his dark ceiling, thoughts running rampant. Today started a new school year. As if that wasn't enough reason for dread, he no longer was at the elementary school. That at least had been somewhat familiar over the last year and a half. No, he started sixth grade today- which meant moving up to the middle school.

Ms. Erin had taken him to orientation a week ago. With four elementary schools melding the sheer number of other sixth graders had been overwhelming. That didn't account for the added bustle of the seventh and eighth graders would bring when school officially started.

Groaning, Levi rubbed his hands over his face. Despite getting used to being around people again at the elementary school, there had been as many people just in the sixth grade that there had been in the entire elementary school. And now he would be part of the youngest group. Although, technically speaking, Levi was one of the oldest in his grade. He'd been placed back in fourth grade when moving in with the Westins rather than the fifth he would have been in if his schooling had remained uninterrupted. Living on the streets for almost two years didn't further one's academic education very well.

Crowds of people continued to set Levi on edge. He wasn't nearly as hypervigilant as he used to be, but he still made a habit of tracking people in the same room.

As if starting school didn't cause enough grief, Levi knew the Westins were meeting with his case worker today. They wouldn't tell him why though. Technically they hadn't even told Levi about the meeting, he'd just managed to overhear them talking about Mr. Connors before they knew he was awake the day before.

Levi didn't think it involved anything like moving him. If the Westins had taken him back after accidentally hurting Mr. Rick, and Levi hadn't done anything like that again in the last year, he couldn't fathom what the meeting could be about.

The double uncertainty of the day made Levi's stomach churn.

Eventually footsteps echoed down the hall coming closer to his room. A knock precipitated Ms. Erin sticking her head in the door.

"Levi, honey? Time to get up and ready for school." Levi groaned unintelligibly. "I know, but it's going to be a great first day! You've got this." She flicked the light on. Levi whined at the sudden onslaught to his eyeballs. "Come on, sweetheart. It'll be over before you know it."

Sighing, Levi rolled over and hoisted himself to a sitting position. Mechanically he went through the motions of getting dressed and grabbing his backpack. He walked slowly to the kitchen. Both Mr. Rick and Ms. Erin were waiting for him.

"Ah, there he is!" Mr. Rick grinned, entirely too awake for the early hour in Levi's opinion. "Ms. Erin and I were just chatting and we were wondering if it'd be ok if I drop you off for your first day? Then tomorrow you can catch the morning bus."

That. . . actually sounded really nice. One less risk of overstimulation before being inundated by his classmates. Still, Levi gave a half shrug, "If you want to."

His tone probably conveyed more relief than he'd wanted it to if the side glances Mr. Rick and Ms. Erin gave one another were any indication.

"Perfect! We have about twenty minutes before we have to leave."

Ms. Erin set a plate of bacon and eggs on the table. "Eat up!"

Despite the tightness in his gut, Levi managed to eat most of his food. He eyed the last egg on his plate mournfully. Even now he struggled with leaving food uneaten, but he consciously shoved that thought away. Last night he and Ms. Erin had packed his lunch and prepared a couple snacks for Levi's backpack between meals.

Forcing himself away from the plate, Levi went to brush his teeth. In the bathroom he stared at his reflection for a minute. He'd finally started hitting a growth spurt over the summer, his body catching up to speed now that he didn't grapple with malnutrition. 'If Brody or Dane saw me now would they recognize me?' Most of the time Levi felt like he didn't recognize himself. So little remained of his life as Aiden Romero- martial arts being really only true connections he retained to his family. However, even that was karate rather than ninjutsu.

The fact he realized he didn't mind living with the Westins scared Levi. If he was honest with himself it was a lot more than "didn't mind," but that felt too dangerous a thought to linger on.

Levi shook his head and told himself to get moving. He didn't want either adult poking their heads in on his existential crisis. Quickly he finished up and headed back to the front of the house.

At the front door Ms. Erin gave him a tight hug. "Today will be great."

Levi gave a thin lipped smile in return.

"Alright bud, let's head out." Mr. Rick nudged Levi toward the door.

The ten minute drive consisted of Levi staring out the window. Mr. Rick let the radio play without trying to engage Levi in conversation. Pulling into the school parking lot, Levi's stomach flipped yet again at the number of cars and buses filling the area. Kids streamed into the building.

"Levi," Levi jumped at Mr. Rick's voice. He turned to see Mr. Rick smiling gently, "you've got this. It might look different than last year but you rocked it then and I know you can rock it now."

Levi snorted. His grades hadn't been "rocking" last year.

"Hey, no I mean it." Mr. Rick's tone became more earnest. "You are one of the bravest people I know, Levi. It's okay to be nervous and feel overwhelmed, but I know that won't stop you from being amazing at whatever you set your mind to. And if you need to it's okay if you need to call me or Ms. Erin. We're here with you every step of the way."

A lump rose in Levi's throat. "Thanks." He managed to croak out. Taking a deep breath Levi unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door.

"Bye, Dad."

He didn't realize what he'd said until he was already outside the car. Levi froze. Rather than turn around and see Mr. Rick's face (maybe he was too cowardly to know what emotion played on Mr. Rick's face from that word) Levi slammed the door shut and all but ran toward the front door.

Heat burned on Levi's cheeks. His heart pounded in his chest. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid.'

Emotions as intense as when he'd accidentally kicked Mr. Rick in the chest warred within him. Though this time for exactly opposite reasons. On some level he feared Mr. Rick would shut that line of attachment down. Another part of him feared what it would mean to him if Mr. Rick didn't. Tears pricked at Levi's eyes. It felt like a betrayal to Dane's memory to call Mr. Rick Dad. Dane hadn't meant to leave Levi's life, but now he wasn't here; Mr. Rick and Ms. Erin were.

The cacophony of the hallway jolted Levi out of his thoughts. Steeling himself, Levi slammed his thoughts into an iron box in his mind. And here Levi had been worried about his first day of school, and the meeting with Mr. Connors. Neither crisis seemed so bad now.

With a deep breath Levi slipped through the throng of kids to find his locker. Some of the tension in his body relaxed when he managed to locate, and unlock, it easily enough. A bell rang overhead, giving a five minute warning for the start of class.

The noise of so many kids bottlenecked in one area pounded against Levi's head. With everyone so close together it was impossible not to brush anyone. Levi's nerves lit at each point of contact, but he managed to keep from reacting with any karate moves. Levi didn't want to meet his classmates that way, even if he didn't really want to meet them to begin with.

Slipping into his first classroom, Levi breathed a sigh of relief both to be away from the noise and at seeing some familiar faces from his elementary school. There didn't seem to be assigned seating so Levi slid into a desk beside Michael near the back.

Michael gave him a half awake wave. "I'm already ready for the end of the day."

Levi sighed and nodded. "Same."

The bell rang, cutting into their attempt at early morning conversation.

"Good morning class I'm Mrs. Kelly and welcome to English Language Arts. . ."

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Classes passed steadily by the rest of the morning, with math and science coming along before lunch. Levi recognized other classmates in those classes too, though no one he'd been particularly close with. At lunch he managed to find an open corner in the cafeteria. Sitting down Levi dug his lunch out. All the sixth graders had lunch at the same time with the other grades following later in the afternoon.

"Mind if I join?"

Levi snapped his head up to see Michael. He grinned. "Sure."

A few others from their elementary school joined and Levi found himself in higher spirits going into the afternoon. It wasn't until the last bell rang for the day that Levi remembered the morning conversation.

Nausea hit him instantly. Which kind of sucked since he had to get through riding the bus before even getting home. Those twenty minutes dragged on for an eternity. Levi stared sightlessly out the window, the chatter of other kids washing into background noise.

All too soon the bus rolled up to the Levi's stop. Levi woodenly grabbed his backpack and joined the stream of other kids from the neighborhood. During the walk down the block toward the Westins' home Levi saw a car he didn't recognize pull out of the driveway. Trying to hide his nerves behind a blank mask, Levi trailed up the driveway.

Ms. Erin met him at the door. She smiled, but Levi could see tension in her shoulders. His nerves flared higher.

"Hey sweetheart, how was your first day?"

Levi shrugged. "Loud, but fine I guess."

"I'll take fine rather than awful. Are you hungry? I have some blueberry muffins I'm just taking out of the oven."

"Sure." To Levi's surprise Mr. Rick sat at the table looking over a packet of papers. "What's that?"

Mr. Rick shot a look at Ms. Erin. She nodded. The feeling in Levi got impossibly tighter.

"Why don't you put your backpack in your room and we can talk about it over muffins."

Fine tremors started running through Levi's arms, but he nodded and headed toward his bedroom. He let his backpack thunk to the floor. Slowly he made his way back to the kitchen. Mr. Rick and Ms. Erin were talking quietly but broke off when they saw Levi down the hall.

Ms. Erin gestured to a plate with two muffins on the table. "All yours."

"Thanks." Levi sat but couldn't bring himself to take a bite.

"So. . ." Mr. Rick trailed off.

Ms. Erin shot an exasperated look at her husband. "First off Levi, we want you to know that though you've had to endure so much at your age in what brought you to being here, we are so thankful to have met you and have you in our lives."

Her words did nothing to calm the anxiety running though Levi. What did she mean by that?

"You're an amazing young man who we both love very much." Levi's confusion only grew. Ms. Erin hesitated and looked at the papers. "I know Mr. Connors has told you that they have a certain amount of time frame for a child to be in foster care."

Levi nodded slowly. Mr. Connors had explained the foster care process, not that Levi bothered to remember most of what he said. But Levi did remember that if Dane, or any other family member- which was funny since he had no other [adult] family members- didn't show up then he would be considered up for adoption. More rocks settled in his stomach at the realization of what Ms. Erin alluded to. Not that Levi wasn't already at the whims of the state by being in foster care, but the fact the state now said Levi wasn't going back to being a Romero felt more final than anything had felt since being picked by the police last year.

Anticipation made it difficult to think straight. Mr. Rick and Ms. Erin hadn't really talked with Levi about next steps if- well when since it was here- Levi had no remaining legal ties to his birth family. 'Though,' Levi supposed, 'I guess that's what we're doing now.'

"We know you loved your family very much and we don't want to replace them," Levi's head started buzzing. He could figure what Ms. Erin was building to which sent equal parts fear and thrill through him. "But, only if you want to, we would love for you to officially be part of our family too."

Levi sat back, stunned.

Ms. Erin smiled gently at his expression. "You don't have to say anything now. You can take all the time to think about it. Also, if you would prefer not to be adopted, we want you to know you still have a place with us here. There are options like guardianship that allow us to still be with you if you want. And if- if you would prefer to meet other families looking to adopt-" She broke off at Levi's emphatic head shake. Some of the tension left her shoulders and her smile became less wobbly. "We love you very much Levi. In whatever way you'd want us to be, we want to stay part of your life."

Tears burned in Levi's eyes. He swiped at them irritability, not wanting to feel overwhelmed like this.

"I'm sorry we sprung this on you on your first day of school. Court wasn't meeting until today and we didn't know for sure what the judge would do." Mr. Rick sounded apologetic.

Levi laughed hoarsely. If anything this made the stress of the first day minute in comparison.

"You can take all the time you need to think about it." Mr. Rick reiterated. "Mr. Connors will need to talk with you about it too, but we all figured you'd rather hear it from us first."

Levi nodded. Not that he minded Mr. Connors per se, but the man did represent a lot of the bad that Levi had endured over the last three years.

"I- I-" Levi struggled to speak around the lump in his throat.

Ms. Erin laid her hand over Levi's. Levi clutched at it. He swallowed hard. The initial shock faded some, but his emotions still shot every which way in his mind. Would it be a betrayal to Dane and Brody if he chose to fully be a Westin? He already had a different last name attached to him since the agency acknowledged there could be a double risk to Levi from his father's attackers and the Neon Dragons. That hadn't felt like a betrayal as much as a protection. Could the Westins be that too? Protection, and a place to belong. A place to be loved.

As much as Levi missed his father and brother, his heart ached for somewhere to call home. A place he could be without fearing it would cut him loose at the drop of a hat- though the Westins had already proved over and over they were willing to stand by Levi and the chaos trauma brought with him. With Dane out of the picture Levi knew deep in his heart his father would want him to be safe and taken care of.

He took a deep breath. "I- I want to be adopted."

Ms. Erin's hand squeezed Levi's back. "You don't have to answer this minute Levi-"

"No. This is- this is what I want. I do- I do love you guys too."

Ms. Erin swept up from her chair and enveloped Levi in a hug. Another set of arms indicated Mr. Rick had joined them. The tears that Levi had been trying to hold back trickled over his cheeks. They held sorrow, sorrow for what he'd lost, sorrow for what could have been. But they also held hope. Hope that he did have people who loved and cared for him.

Hope that somehow, some way, things would be okay.

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A/n- Apparently procrastination on writing a research paper (this chapter) is much more motivating (knocking this puppy out in 2 days) than seeing it's nearly been a year and knowing another chapter should probably be posted (last chapter). Here's to hoping for success in both school and fun writing arenas XD (guess which one is winning right now. . .)