(March 21, 2011)
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The solitary light bulb above Levi did nothing but throw shadows around the attic. Boxes, totes, and random objects filled the small space at a claustrophobic level.
"This seems like a lot of extra stuff."
"Well, living fifteen years in one place can lead to a lot of accumulation." Erin moved a tote causing dust to fly. "Which is why it's time to start purging."
"It probably should be cleaned sooner than every fifteen years."
Erin laughed ruefully. "You're not wrong. You offering?"
"Not willingly."
"Understandable."
"Why are we cleaning now?" Levi poked at a nearby box, grimacing when his finger came away gray from dust.
"Because it needs it. And since you're on spring break we have extra time to work on it." Laughing at Levi's expression, Erin nudged his side. "Oh come on, it's not that bad."
"I don't know. This is almost as bad as some of the condemned buildings I lived in." Erin's face spasmed. Levi looked away. "Sorry, Mom."
"You don't have to be sorry." A hand rested on Levi's shoulder, squeezing gently. "I'm just sorry you have had to go through all that you did."
Unsure how to respond, Levi shrugged. With one last squeeze Erin dropped her hand and turned to look at the mountains in front her. "I admit there is no organizational system here. So if you could open boxes to tell me what's in them I can determine if it's a keep or toss box."
"Alright." Grateful to move on to a different topic, Levi opened the nearest tote. "Christmas decorations."
"I'll have to go through those more thoroughly but for now we'll keep the whole box. Let's put the 'to keep' stuff on the right side."
Slowly two distinct piles began to emerge in the cluttered space. An inadvertent break came when Erin found a box of old scrapbooks from her childhood. They'd gone through one, Levi teasing about various hairstyles he saw in the pages.
"That was all the range when I was younger." Erin protested and closed the book. "Come on, we can go through these other ones later." The scrapbooks joined the keep stack.
Letting the break linger a few seconds more, Levi poked his way to the back of the attic. His eye caught on an oblong shape half hidden in shadows. "What's that?"
"What?" Erin looked over as Levi pulled the case into the open. "Oh, that's Rick's old guitar. I forgot that was up here."
"He plays?"
"Years ago- back in our college days. I don't think it's seen the light of day in over a decade."
"Huh." Levi opened the case. It was a beautiful cream color with deep brown pegs and accents along the neck. A surge of longing for the old days rose up again in him. He hadn't been this close to a guitar since before Dane went missing. Who knew what had happened to Dane's guitar, or any of the possessions Levi had been forced to leave behind for that matter. He only hoped it was still in use, wherever it may be. Gently twanging the strings, he winced at the sound. None of the strings resembled what their notes should be. His scalp prickled beneath the weight of Erin's eyes.
"Do you play?"
A lump rose in Levi's throat. "I knew just the basics. Dad- dad was teaching me. He played a lot. Though not as much after mom died." Levi shut the case, and started to move it to the keep pile.
"Let's take it downstairs with us." Erin's voice stopped Levi. " It needs tuning and probably a good cleaning."
"Alright." Pressure built behind Levi's eyes and he turned away, trying to clear them.
He heard Erin shift behind him. "I think that's good enough of a start for today. How about we take a lunch break," she looked at her hands, grimacing at the dust, "and maybe a wash break."
Levi wholeheartedly agreed. Having lived in squalor for so long, he appreciated hot running water more than he ever had in his life.
"We can pick back up tomorrow. It is spring break after all. No sense spending all the time up here." Erin grinned conspiratorially at Levi.
Returning the smile, Levi gently maneuvered the guitar case down the attic ladder. He set it in the living room before ducking into his bathroom to rid himself of excess dust. After rigorously scrubbing his hands Levi made his way to the kitchen.
Throughout lunch Levi saw Erin studying him when she didn't think he was looking. Whenever Levi looked at her she would try to smooth her features, but it didn't quite work. She probably wanted to ask him more questions, whether about the guitar, Levi's reaction to it, or questions about his past Levi wasn't quite sure. However, she didn't breach any of those topics and Levi certainly wasn't going to bring them up. Instead Erin started telling stories from college.
After lunch Erin left Levi free to his devices as she went back up to the attic to sort through the fuller buckets that were initially put in the keep side. Levi went back to his room, snagging his journal. Having kept his word to Erin that he'd write in it, it now came easier to go to his journal- though that didn't always make it easy to put his thoughts onto paper.
Instead of trying to articulate his thoughts, Levi sketched a small guitar. He then wrote out the lyrics to Dane's song that he'd written for their family. The lump in his throat rose again. Turning to the photo on his bedside table, Levi stared at the image of him with Dane and Brody. With his adoption finalized back in January, the primary remaining ties Levi had to his past were martial arts and his memories. Where did past memories meet present realities?
Levi didn't have the motivation to do much more the rest of the afternoon. So he took advantage of the lack of school to catch up on sleep. The next thing he knew Erin stood in the doorway calling his name.
"Wha-?"
"Hey Sleeping Beauty, it's time for dinner." Blinking away sleep, Levi sat up with a groan. "If cleaning the attic is going to be that exhausting maybe we should do it more often." Levi shot Erin a deadpan look. She laughed. "At the very least we've got a couple more days of it this week."
Groaning again, Levi dragged himself out of bed and followed Erin to the dining room.
"Ah there you are. I thought I was going to waste away before you arrived." Rick threw a hand up on his forehead.
Levi snorted. "Looks like you survived."
Scrunching his eyebrows thoughtfully, Rick pretended to consider Levi's words. "I suppose you're right."
"Alright boys," Rick gave Erin a mock outraged look, "yes both of you, help me get the table set."
Levi went for the dishes while Rick helped bring the food to the table.
"So how was your day?"
"Mom decided it would be a good time to organize the attic."
Rick winced sympathetically. "Sorry to have missed it. I avoid going up there unless necessary."
"Which is why it's in the state it's in." Erin rolled her eyes. "Just because we have space in the house does not mean we have to fill it with stuff."
"Yeah, probably not. Did you find anything interesting up there?"
Levi grinned mischievously. "Some of Mom's kid pictures."
"Oof kiddo way to bring that up right away."
Snickering, Rick nodded. "Oh those! Yes there's some good ones in there, aren't there?"
"Just wait until we come across your old albums." Erin threatened.
"No, mercy please!"
Erin nodded knowingly, "I'm not the only one who's had a perm."
"Really?" Levi laughed.
"Hey, it was the height of fashion back in the day!"
Levi watched with amusement as Rick and Erin continued to debate the finer points of dated fashion styles. By the time they'd finished eating Levi knew he had a lot more pictures he wanted to see in the near future.
"Levi, do you want to show Dad what else you found upstairs?"
Diner suddenly felt very heavy in Levi's gut. "Uh, sure."
Levi led the three of them to the living room.
"Oh I forgot about this!" Rick smiled, brushing his hands over the guitar case. "It has been a long time." A wistful note came into his voice.
Levi saw Erin shoot a meaningful look with Rick, who in turn looked at Levi. "Do you like the guitar?"
Though expecting the question, especially after his earlier conversation with Erin, it still sent a painful zing through him.
"Just- it- my dad used to play. He taught me a couple chords."
"Knowing how to play an instrument is quite a gift." Levi hummed in response. "I know it's been a while, for both of us, but if you're ever interested we could see about continuing guitar lessons."
Levi's breath caught in his throat. Since resuming martial arts he appreciated having a connection to his old life, but karate wasn't ninjutsu. Resuming guitar lessons really would be a direct tie to Dane. . . and his new dad.
"Would- would I still be able to do karate?"
"I think we could arrange a schedule to allow for both."
"Then if- if I could-"
"Of course, Levi." Erin squeezed his hand.
Returning the gesture, Levi blinked furiously against the moisture gathering in his eyes.
"Now then, what do you say we get this puppy cleaned and tuned up? Hopefully it'll still work for us."
Rick directed Levi to get a soft, damp cloth. While Levi went to find one, Rick dug out a very old tuner from the back of his closet. Two new AA batteries later it flickered to life. Back in the living room Rick handed Levi the guitar.
"Alright, gently wipe down the wood. If the rag gets really gross you can rinse it off, but make sure to wring it out completely before starting again."
Nodding, Levi set to work ridding the guitar of years worth of dust that somehow still found its way into the case. Once he finished Rick attached the tuner to the guitar's head. He strummed and cringed at the sound.
"Wow, that is bad." Turning to Levi, Rick gestured to the pins holding the strings, "You might already know, but just in case or as a refresher, it's best to tune each time you play. Usually the string will be fairly close to the note it's supposed to be, however this case is an obvious exception. My rule of thumb is you can always make a string tighter, but you can't always loosen it if you catch my drift." Levi snorted. "So the strings go E," Rick pointed to the top one and worked his way down, "A, D, G, B, E. My teacher used the mnemonic 'eat all day, get big early' to help remember the order. The pegs tighten the string to get it to the right note." Rick demonstrated, gently coaxing the strings to their correct notes. "Can you walk me through what you remember from playing?"
Heat rose in Levi's face. "Uh, not much. I know chords make up the songs but it's been so long. . ."
"That's okay. I can reintroduce you to a couple of the basics, but it's been a while for me too. So, we'll have to find someone in the area more versed- heh get it?- at teaching."
Levi smiled tentatively and nodded. For the next couple hours Rick went through chords, alternating between demonstrating them himself and having Levi practice. By the time Levi's finger tips ached from the strings Rick was leaning back nodding thoughtfully.
"I don't think you forgot as much as you think you did. Either that or you have an untapped gift for quickly picking up music. Tomorrow I'll do some checking for teachers. Like karate though, if you want to continue to get better it will take regular practice." Levi figured as much but didn't bother to point that out. "It's best we get to bed since Mom will want you ready in the morning for more attic assistance, but tomorrow afternoon I'd recommend practicing what we went over tonight."
"As long as my fingers don't start bleeding I will."
Rick laughed and flexed his own left hand. "All the calluses I'd developed are long," he drew out the word, "gone so I know the feeling. It'll get better with time though. If you want you can keep the case in your room."
"Sure." Carefully Levi put the guitar away and drew the case up to his chest.
Rick leaned over, mindful of the case, and gave Levi a hug. "Love you much, son."
Despite the tightness in his chest Levi smiled at Rick. "Love you too."
Later as Levi prepared for bed his mind drifted back to Dane playing and teaching him guitar. It was true that he didn't remember most of the specifics, though some had come back with Rick's lesson tonight, but he remembered the thrill of learning from his dad. It still hurt to think about his loss, but the pain was slowly becoming something not as sharp. Martial arts was a passion from his old life, but guitar could be a combination of old and new as both his dads had now spent time with him on it. Sighing, Levi's thoughts again turned to Dane's song from so long ago, 'Together we are family. Every day now we grow stronger. . . and we will always, always be. . . family.'
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A/n- Happy Easter! He is Risen!
