A/N: Rar.

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Itachi

The originals, surprisingly, agreed to this plan. Itachi expected that after their first encounter with the demon boy, Original Nagato and Yahiko would be hesitant to even approach his realm. Instead, they seemed relieved that a necessary task which must be done at some point had already been planned out. The "necessary task" that they wanted out of the way was getting used to the demon boy. Once again, they all but totally ignored the plushies. Their aversion to the dolls seems to be very deeply-rooted. Will seeing the dolls at play be enough to change it?

"Hey, hey, hey!" Original Hidan barged in. "Is something being planned without me?"

"Would you like to explore a haunted building?" Itachi asked him.

"Fuck yes!"

Itachi, Konan, Yahiko and the dolls, plus the three originals all set off for the haunted hospital together. Itachi explained to Original Hidan the rest of the plan, earning a derogatory comment that Original Nagato pretended not to hear. Original Hidan then dropped his voice to a whisper and promised to help the other two originals stay focused on the dolls. I cannot tell if he genuinely wants to help, or simply wants to annoy Original Nagato. They seem to have a rivalry.

Either way, the plan went into effect as soon as they reached the hospital grounds. The dolls did not need to be told to take the lead. They rushed forward, looking all around. Little One studied the unnaturally uniform grass, looking upset. Warlic and Manta ran around the grounds in a giant circle before investigating the perfectly round trees. They looked up at one. Warlic turned to Manta and raised his arms twice as if pulling himself up before using magic to do exactly that. Manta followed him into the tree. Little One walked around very slowly, watching the grass as if it might bite him at any time. He soon lost his courage and flew into the tree to cling to Warlic's side. Warlic was too busy shaking a branch to notice.

"Warlic seems to be an accidental leader," Itachi murmured. "He doesn't ask anyone else to follow him, but they do simply because they prefer to stay together. I wonder what he would do if any of the other dolls actually came under threat."

"Questions demand answers," Original Nagato replied. "The being that resides here can easily answer that question."

The demon boy did not appear, but a second after he said that an alligator did. It reared up and used its enormous length to climb the small tree in a single movement, allowing it to reach Manta. It bit Manta's lower half, trapping the doll. Manta shot all manner of lightning and fire bolts at it, but the alligator was unaffected. He was helpless. As the alligator ripped a panicking Manta off the branch and tilted its head back as if preparing to swallow, Yahiko whimpered. His original groaned in pain. Original Hidan chuckled, and Original Nagato made no response.

Little One joined in the fight, levitating chunks of earth out of the ground and pummeling the alligator's body. Warlic jumped up and down. He flew towards the alligator, clinging to its jaws as it opened them wide. The second Manta was no longer trapped, he pushed the other doll out of the alligator's mouth. Manta tumbled end over end across the grass. The alligator growled and tried to shake Warlic off, but he clung on. After half a minute of struggle, it vanished in a puff of smoke. Warlic fell to the ground. Little One leaped down from the tree and sat next to him. They both seemed dazed.

"How could I have forgotten?" Itachi asked. "He was named Warlic because of his sense of altruism. Yahiko played a game with him which led him to believe that a nonliving doll was alive. He dragged it around the room, trying to take it on a tour. We were all so moved by this that we named the nonliving doll Solis and brought it to life. Warlic might have grown into a troublemaker, but his very first conscious action was an attempt to guide and protect. Of course he makes a fine leader, accidental or otherwise."

"Wow," Original Yahiko said. "How did the other dolls get their names?"

"Kisame named Solis after himself," Itachi replied. "'Solis' sounds like 'solitary,' alone and comfortable with being that way. He could not have known what sort of personality the doll would have after being brought to life, but Solis' behavior matches his name. Little One was named by Yahiko, who sees all of the dolls as little ones. Manta, I do not know."

"Hidan named him," Clone Yahiko said. "He originally wanted to use 'Muna,' which sounds similar to his nickname for Nagato, because Manta's way of following Warlic around reminded him of Nagato. But he didn't want to offend anyone, so he changed it to something that wouldn't be so obvious."

"What do you mean by that?" Original Nagato asked.

"Your clone never had to learn to live without me," Original Yahiko answered. "He acts like you used to, when we were young. I see the resemblance now." Manta had joined the others. All three dolls now sat together. Warlic stared straight down at his lap looking distressed, but Little One had relaxed as much as a nonliving doll. Manta looked around occasionally, as if he wanted to explore but wasn't willing to leave the group.

"I don't know if they have any interest in exploring the rest of the hospital," Itachi murmured.

"If they don't, we can just carry them," Clone Yahiko replied. He went to the dolls. "Don't worry, guys. That alligator, or anything big and scary like it, is not going to attack again. You're safe. Let's check out the rest of the hospital." He picked up Warlic and Manta. Little One remained sitting. "They like sitting," he called back. "He'll catch up when he's ready."

Everyone else followed. Yahiko showed the dolls a line of ornamental bushes. "Keep watch for signs of ghosts," Konan advised. "They are invisible, but you can see signs of them going about their work." She pointed to a part of the line where a ghostly gardener was at work. After she pointed it out, everybody else easily saw leaves falling in straight lines as if cut by shears. Konan took over, leading them inside the hospital. She pointed out the ghost at the front desk.

Original Hidan scoffed. "What the fuck is going on here? Why are these souls hanging around as ghosts? Total waste of a soul."

"They are renegades," Konan replied. "Rebellious spirits who reject common norms of decency and insist on living their lives naked and unbodied. Very rude, but as long as they stay in one location it may be permissible." Nobody, including her two oldest friends, could tell whether she was joking.

Yahiko put Warlic and Manta down. Both dolls had recovered their excitement. They ran to the desk and stared up at the ghost as if they could see it. A chill ran down Itachi's spine. Can they see it? Ruta's document says nothing about ghosts. This hospital could have been created by a different magic system from our own. The dolls also use a different magic system from ours. Does it allow them to perceive and interact with the hospital in ways that we cannot?

"Does their magic work on ghosts?" Clone Yahiko wondered.

The pages stopped turning. Warlic and Manta kept staring. Then they both turned towards a hallway leading to the right, and footsteps could be heard heading in that direction. "Guys," Clone Yahiko said. "We're here to make friends with the ghosts, not scare them."

"Simply being seen might scare them," Konan replied.

The front doors opened. Little One stood on the other side, but he could not have opened them by himself. He went inside and looked all around, confused. "It's okay, Little One," Clone Yahiko said. "The building is friendly." Little One jumped and ran to Warlic again, physically clinging to Warlic's right arm. Warlic noticed this time and tilted his head, looked perplexed.

Clone Yahiko announced that they were going to check out the holes in the floor now. Warlic tried to shake Little One off, but Little One wasn't having it, so he dragged the other doll along with him as he ran to look down into the largest of the holes. "It leads into a creepy basement full of bugs, prisonlike cells, zombies, puzzles and weird sounds," Yahiko said. Warlic promptly leaped forward. Little One held him back. Warlic turned and fought him. The two dolls ended up slapping at each other with their soft plushy hands for about a minute before Little One got overwhelmed and ran away. With his arms over his head like a cartoon character, he ran down the right hallway, which Itachi knew would take him near the children's room. Yahiko sighed. "Maybe this place is too much for him…"

"The boy will lead him to the children's room. There, he will be safe." Itachi bent down to speak to Warlic. "The basement is intriguing, but it has no ghosts in it. The upper floor, on the other hand, has bright sunlight and many ghosts and the ghosts are all quite happy. Which do you prefer?" Warlic looked at the hole, then looked up. He pointed up.

"The stairs are this way," Konan said.

They followed her to a discreetly tucked-away staircase. "I see a problem with this," Original Nagato said. Many of the stairs were broken and there was no reason to believe the rest would support a person's weight.

"He lets people climb them," Clone Yahiko said. "At least sometimes."

"I don't trust that," Konan said. "I use chakra to walk on the walls instead."

While they hesitated, the dolls went on with no fear. Warlic actually stopped to play with a broken step, hanging off the broken edge to see what was below. "Hey, guys," Clone Yahiko called. "When you're done playing, would you mind putting a forcefield over the stairs so we can walk on it? It would really help." The dolls did so. Yahiko went first, slipped and fell on his face. "Ow. Forcefields are slippery." The dolls did something that made the forcefields turn blurry, shiver, then change from a light blue to a dark green color. Yahiko tried again. "They reversed it. These are attractant fields now. It's hard to lift your feet up." Slowly, with much work but much greater safety, most of the party made their way up the stairs. They found Clone Hidan waiting at the top, having climbed the wall. He was sitting on the railing and slid off as they joined him with a sarcastic comment about how long they had taken.

The dolls looked to the left and to the right. "There is a sick person here who might like to see you," Konan said, leading them towards the nearest door in the right hallway. The room had a hospital bed in it. Konan pointed out the head-shaped depression in the pillow. Warlic and Manta didn't need her guidance; they scrambled up onto the bed as soon as they saw it. They sat there looking at whatever ghost occupied it. This ghost must not have been afraid of them, because occasionally they waved their arms as if responding to something it said.

"This is boring," Original Hidan said. "I wanna see this demon kid."

"I'll lead the dolls on their tour. Feel free to explore," Konan said.

Everyone else returned to the upper landing. "The demon kid definitely hears anything we say or think in this building," Clone Yahiko said. "He'll appear if he wants to. If he doesn't, I'll show you guys what he's been doing. I don't know if you noticed, but that hospital room has some new stuff in it. There's new furniture, fresh plaster in some places. Ever since the demon kid moved in, he's been caring for the ghosts and trying to make them happy."

"Where's the chaos?" Original Hidan snapped. "Some pussy-ass demon this is."

"I would advise against saying that," Original Nagato said sharply.

Shadows leaped out of the nearby hallways and condensed into the form of the little white-haired boy. "Rude!" he yelled, glaring up at Hidan.

Original Hidan stopped waving his tail. He studied the kid. "Hey, hold on a second…"

"I don't know that person," the boy replied. "It's a one-way connection from me to him. I don't get any knowledge."

Hidan continued to study the boy. His eyes widened. Clearly, something from his past had taken on a whole new meaning.

"You're all boring," the demon kid proclaimed. "I'll let you hang around in my people zoo anyway, but seriously, so boring. The dolls are way cool though." He vanished before anyone could reply.

Original Hidan's fur bristled. "Did that fucking bastard just accuse me of being boring?!"

"We'd better keep this visit short," Yahiko said. "Before he makes us less boring by siccing monsters on us."

Itachi's reaction was different. Our tour of the hospital is boring, but my playing music for the ghost children is not boring? What exactly are his standards for excitement? Perhaps they are constantly fluctuating. What is it like to live a life of chasing after a target which continually changes its location? I suppose that's what most people's experience of chasing happiness is like. What brings joy one day evokes no emotion the next. For all of his powers, this demon really is no different from us humans. He plays by the same rules as everyone else.

He texted himself a reminder to tell the originals this at some later time when they would listen. Right now, they were in no mood to even try to understand the boy. As Itachi was typing, Original Nagato suggested looking for a rooftop entryway to see if the hospital had use as a lookout post. No; understanding was not their forte.

Tobi

Tobi was riding Chestnut through the village square when it arrived: a strange feeling like being pulled upwards by one's head. This feeling was very body-based, totally unlike all other sensations in the inner world, so Tobi could not fail either to notice it or understand what it was. It was a summons from the Outer World. As usual, Tobi obeyed. Sometimes a summons could be inconvenient, but the outer world was such an exciting place! Places to walk, people to talk to, pictures to draw - who would ever turn down an opportunity to go there? The outer world was great!

Those were Tobi's expectations. They had never before been disappointed. But this time, they were.

Tobi woke up in a room at the inn. This exact room was not familiar, but it was obviously part of the same building. Tobi was not wearing the all-important mask, so the first thing to do was to put it on. The second thing to do was look for Zetsu. "Zetsu?"

Something was wrong. Zetsu was not in any part of the room. Tobi also noticed other strange things; the sun was already high, and food had been eaten in this room. Why had the body stayed in this room for hours after waking up? Tobi didn't feel injured or sick. And where was Zetsu? "Zetsu?" Again, there was no response. Zetsu was not there.

Tobi was alone.

Tobi shivered in fear. In the inner world, Tobi was never alone because the whole environment was a mental creation under Tobi's complete control and guaranteed to provide everything Tobi ever desired. It was like a womb. Even in the forest, Tobi had Chestnut and whatever other creations might be desired, plus Tobi always chose when to go into the forest. This was different. Here in the outer world, there was no womb. Tobi had nothing to trust. Every object, person and place was whatever it felt like being and would continue being that, regardless of Tobi's wishes. A distance would stay long even if Tobi wanted it to be short. An object that Tobi wanted to find would stay hidden; it wouldn't reveal itself. Falling onto a hard surface would always hurt because the surface would always be hard. The outer world was exciting because of its material existence, but also terrifying for that same reason. As long as someone safe was around, the excitement outweighed the terror, but now…

"It's a quest," Tobi whispered. "I'm here on a new and really difficult quest. The k-king - or somebody - thinks I'm brave enough and smart enough to t-take on new challenges. I am brave enough. I can face dragons, so… So I can do this." A personality a few years older would have been reassured, but Tobi wasn't at that stage. Tobi always had someone or something around to trust. Always. All alone, Tobi had no idea what to do. "Um… New quest… To…explore new lands without a guide? No… That's not the right way to go about things. First rule of strategy: know your terrain. So, find a guide? Yeah. Find a guide! That's it! I'm good at scouting. Of course I'm here to scout for someone. That's the perfect quest for me." Tobi tried to look brave before leaving the room.

Tobi encountered a problem almost immediately. Scouting in the forest was a solitary activity; Tobi had as much time as needed because nobody was around. The inn, on the other hand, contained other people. Tobi had to scout quickly and be alert to the other people's behavior. Were they friends or foes? Tobi was in fact aware of the existence of mean people; Tobi just didn't usually fear them. Having to fear mean people was a new experience. Tobi didn't like it. The outer world was not exciting at all right now!

Tobi found a desk. The people behind it probably knew things. "He-hello. Um, have you seen someone who is half plant?"

The man Tobi addressed shrugged, but there was a second person behind the desk: a lady. "That friend of yours?" she asked. "I can make a quick search." She did something with her magic know-everything machine. "Huh," she said. "I'm not seeing a check-in entry under the name 'Zetsu.'"

Tobi felt as if the ground was disappearing. What did that mean?

"I see one under the name 'Obito.' But it's only for a single person." She turned to Tobi with a worried look. "Did you and he have a fight? I'm sorry, honey. He hasn't come back. You'll have to reach out."

Zetsu had been missing for a whole day? Was it possible that Tobi's new quest was to rescue Zetsu? "Thank you, nice lady," Tobi said. The nice lady smiled. Tobi went out the door. Who might have kidnapped Zetsu, and why, and where had they been taken?

Tobi had not the slightest idea how to answer any of those questions, and the brightly-lit clouds (which would stay brightly-lit clouds) beaming down on the paved road (which would stay paved, road-shaped and flat) for as far as Tobi could see (a distance that would not change until Tobi moved) reminded Tobi of the need for a guide. Tobi looked around, wondering how to find one. People could not be reimagined as friendly guides if they weren't ones already, so Tobi would have to find a person who was already one of those. How? Just ask for help from anyone who looked friendly? But Tobi knew from many experiences at Zetsu's side that many people could only help you with one thing but not something else. How to find someone who would help with Tobi's very specific need?

The outer world was not womblike at all.

Tobi started walking. Maybe a lucky accident would happen. At the very least, Tobi would learn where all the roads went.

Less than two blocks away, Tobi was already disoriented. Trash existed. Buildings had parts in need of repair. A surface intended to be grassless had grass growing through it. These mismatches between intention and reality would never happen in the inner world. What was going on with this strange and foreign world? Could anything just happen even if nobody intended it? Tobi had wondered over these questions before, but never with such urgency. They're wrong. I'm not ready for this quest. I'm not brave enough or strong enough or smart enough. I can't do this! But… But I was summoned… I can't refuse. Tobi kept walking, but couldn't make sense of anything. There was too much new information to take in. Tobi lost track of where the roads went, how friendly the surrounding people looked, all of that. It all degenerated into one big mess of strangeness and terribleness and I want to go home-ness.

"Hey," called a voice. Tobi was so overloaded that the direction of the voice was impossible to find. It could have come from the left or from the right or even from the street. When a large man stepped in front of Tobi, Tobi decided it probably came from that man. "You alright?" the man asked.

Tobi shrugged.

The man frowned. "Sit down, then." He sat on the nearest patch of grass. Tobi sat next to him. Is he a guide? Did I do it? I did it! I completed the quest!

The man certainly looked like a guide. He was oldish but not too old, with bushy white hair tied into a ponytail and a wise look on his face. "You must be new around here," he said. "I know all of the people in my group and in Konan's, and you don't belong to either one."

"Konan?" The name seemed familiar.

"You know her?" The man frowned. "And what's up with your voice?"

I forgot! I have a magical voice! "My name's Tobi. My voice is magic."

The man's eyes widened. "Tobi? I know that name!" His voice changed, becoming gentle and smooth. "You're a friend of Yahiko's, aren't you? I've seen him talking about you."

Tobi gasped. How could I have forgotten?! Sir Knight can help me rescue Zetsu! "You know Sir Knight? Please take me to him! I need his help to rescue Zetsu!"

"Rescue Zetsu? That's your plant friend, right?" The man looked around. "So that's why you're wandering the streets all alone. Don't worry, kid; I'll keep you safe until you get Zetsu back. And I'll call Yahiko right now. You can talk to him." He pulled out his tiny busy-maker and did things to it. Tobi was confused. Didn't people use those things to keep from getting bored while waiting? Why was the man using it now? He wasn't waiting for anything. But then, the man held it up to his ear. Tobi saw people doing that, too, but had no idea why they did it.

Tobi had never before been within a few feet of someone using a device this way. Tobi was surprised to hear someone's voice. It was too muffled to make out any words, but it was definitely a voice. The large man laughed. "Yeah, it has been a long time, hasn't it? I'll pay a visit to your place in an hour or two. We can talk then. For now, there's someone else who needs to speak with you." He handed the device to Tobi. Tobi held it up to the side of the mask awkwardly.

"Hello?" That voice! It was a little different, changed somehow, but recognizably Sir Knight's!

What magic was this? Was Sir Knight really speaking across a great distance? Tobi was astonished. "Sir Knight?"

"Tobi?" Sir Knight sounded afraid. "What's going on? Why are you with Jiraiya?"

"I need your help. Zetsu's missing. They're probably being kidnapped and held somewhere. We need to rescue them."

"...I spotted a trace of Zetsu just this morning. I can help you find them. Stay with Jiraiya. He'll take you to our base, I'll meet you there, and we'll find out what's going on with Zetsu. Everything's gonna be okay."

Tobi nearly melted. "Thank you, Sir Knight." How wonderful Sir Knight was! How brave! How trustworthy! That's right, Sir Knight's a friendly dragon! In the inner world, I have Chestnut, and out here I have a friendly dragon! It's not so scary after all. Tobi wanted to keep the magic talky-thing for reassurance, but gave it back to the large man instead because it seemed delicate.

The large man touched it twice, then put it in his pocket. He stood up and held out his hand. "Come on, kid. Let's go on a nice walk."

Clone Yahiko

"Oh dear," Itachi said. Yahiko nodded. That summarized everything very well.

"What's going on with Parsley? He ran away?" Original Hidan asked, smirking.

"Yeah," Yahiko muttered. "He willingly, knowingly, left Tobi alone. Obito and Madara are adults who can handle themselves, but Tobi…"

"We ought to leave now," Itachi said. "Or at least I must. In an environment free of distractions, I can think of minimally-upsetting ways to explain that."

"We should like to prepare before meeting Jiraiya sensei's clone," Original Nagato said quietly.

"The dolls are like young children. They may be able to help," Konan added. "Yes, it would be a good idea to leave now."

She looked at the demon boy, who sat on the floor of a room at the far end of the upstairs left hallway. He made three freshly-borrowed paper butterflies settle on his head and shoulders. "Go ask my subjects."

Itachi led the group downstairs to the playroom. There they found Little One jumping on a variety of large playground balls in a miniature, extremely difficult version of The Floor Is Lava. The balls were all rolling, you see. He was doing very well. "Excuse me," Yahiko called. The balls lost their invisible boundaries, careening into the walls and coming to natural stops. Little One ran up to Yahiko. Yahiko knelt down and put a hand on his shoulder. "There's someone who needs your help. Tobi - that friend you've played with, the one who used to hug Warlic too tightly but now hugs just tightly enough - Tobi's all alone and doesn't know why. He's scared. I need you to help me comfort him. Can you do that?" Little One nodded. Yahiko looked up at the seemingly empty room. "I'm sorry to take Little One away, but it's an emergency. You can imagine how horrible it must be to wake up all alone, can't you?" A small ball rolled gently across the floor. Something about the way it rolled felt sympathetic. "Thank you."

"Who's this Jiraiya guy?" Original Hidan asked as they left the hospital.

"Our sensei," Konan and Original Nagato said at the same time.

Hidan hissed and lashed his tail. "Senseis are the worst."

Yahiko stopped and turned around. "Don't say that," he warned Original Hidan. "Jiraiya was more than a mentor or a teacher. He was a father to us after our original parents all died. Imagine…imagine how you'd feel if someone started going on about how gods are just the worst, always being so demanding with their time-wasting sacrifices, blah blah blah stuff like that. Don't say that about Jiraiya." Hidan flicked his tail, but obeyed.

Yahiko's original pulled up beside him as they walked. "How do you come up with things like that so quickly?" he whispered.

Yahiko blushed. My original's complimenting me! "Well, I know him really well and I've thought about his relationship to Jashin sama a lot. I just tried to imagine a relationship he had that would mean what Jiraiya meant to us."

"He's so violent, though," Original Yahiko muttered. "He seems to be a totally different sort of person."

"If you look at people just right, you can see yourself in anyone. Imagine how you might've turned out if a god had adopted you instead of Jiraiya. Wouldn't you want to sacrifice anything for them?"

They reached the base, so there was no time for a response. Yahiko put Little One down on the grass with Warlic and Manta. "Okay, guys. We've got an hour or two to rest and prepare, and then I will need you all to be at maximum cuteness. Let's go inside. Itachi, did you think of anything while we were walking?"

Itachi pushed open the door. "I did. Let's de-emphasize Zetsu's agency as much as possible. Not only will it help, but it's also accurate."

"Okay, so, what kind of natural disaster should I compare it to? Tobi thinks Zetsu was kidnapped. I've got to reassure him that there are no evil people out to get us."

"Hold on a fucking second," Original Hidan griped. He placed his scythe on the lobby desk and leaned against the desk with his arms crossed. "Why are you brats freaking out so much about someone's pseudo-parent leaving them for a day? 'Oh, no, Mommy left me on my own, it's the end of the world.' Is that seriously how people are taught to think around here? No wonder you're all such pussies."

Yahiko gasped. "That's it! No wonder I was having trouble thinking of something to say! Hidan, you're a genius!" Yahiko clapped his hands, grinning. "'Zetsu's not kidnapped. They talked with the king and made a deal to go away for a day so you all could see what kinds of fun you can have without them. See, Tobi? You've learned how to make new friends. That's the sort of thing Zetsu will want to hear all about when they come back.' That's how I'll phrase it!"

"Or you could just say it's not a big fucking deal," Original Hidan snarled.

"A child of Tobi's age is not capable of self-soothing," Itachi retorted.

"I was."

"A human child."

"I'm glad Jiraiya found him," Yahiko sighed. "Jiraiya's really good with little kids."

Original Hidan pushed himself off the desk and grabbed his scythe. "You are all so fucking pathetic it makes me want to hurl." He stomped off down the nearest hallway.

"Technically he's right," Itachi admitted. "These scripts are last-ditch plans in the event that Tobi actually turns out to be upset. By the time they get here, having spent so long with a safe adult, they might not be."

"Plan for the worst, rejoice at the best," Yahiko said. He looked sternly at the dolls. "But that changes nothing for you three. Maximum cuteness. No matter what."

"Interesting," Original Nagato muttered. He and Original Yahiko began to excuse themselves. In the middle of a sentence, a strong wind swept through the lobby, causing them to stop speaking and instantly raise their guards. The wind turned out be from Solis running in to joyfully reunite with his friends. Solis tackled Little One to the ground; Little One waved his arms, seemingly enjoying it. Warlic leaped on top, then Manta on top of him. Both versions of Yahiko "awww"d at the cuteness.

Kisame followed. After briefly cursing the dolls for being so adorable, he said, "So guess what I learned?"

"Was Zetsu with the Hatakes? What were they doing there?" Itachi asked.

"Yes, and looking for company. Zetsu reminds me a lot of how I used to be. Growing up literally a different species from everyone around you, without anyone of your own kind, you get used to always having to fend for yourself. Always on guard, a bit paranoid, always needing to be in control. There aren't any half-plant people around to be family to him, but the Hatakes are half-something and I overheard them talking about things they have in common. Maybe they can help Zetsu loosen up the way they helped me."

"That would be great!" Yahiko said, grinning. "I can add that to my script. As far as Tobi needs to know, there's nothing but good things going on."

"Tobi?" Kisame tensed. "Oh holy shit. Tobi's, like, five."

"Yeah. Jiraiya found him, though. It's gonna be okay."

"I'm glad I got Solis, then." The dogpile had disassembled itself. All four plushies sat on the floor together waving their arms at each other. Are they talking? "They look like they're having a conversation," Kisame said with a grin. "If anyone has business with either Zetsu or the Hatakes, looks like I'm your go-to guy." He waved and walked away.

"I shall tell him about our hospital adventure, as promised," Itachi said. "Since there seems to be no emergency."

Yahiko sat down on the floor with the dolls, fully intending to spend the next hour there. "Nope! No emergency at all."

.

A/N: G'oh my goodness the cuteness. In my favorite video game, there is a character that is the physical manifestation of Love. It has no defined physical form; it looks like a thin woman, a fat woman, a man (muscular/scrawny/fat), a skeleton, a dragon, etc. depending on what the person who is looking at it considers to be most beautiful. If I looked at this being, I would 100% see it as a giant Warlic plushie. THE CUTENESS. *swoon*

Rar!