authorsnote: a new WIP but in a new fandom? waaaah?
I love this fandom, love these characters, feysand for life imo, and I so wanted to do my own spin on the story.
and so here is my version of acotar, if you haven't read this series do so immediately and then come back! for existing fans, do enjoy.
songrecs: hall of fame - the script (feyres song, truly)
'To the people who look at stars and wish Rhys'
'To the stars who listen and the dreams that answered'
- Feyre and Rhysand talk
-x-
'If you die, I die' She said it so quietly none could hear but him.
The tent surrounding them was a thin cover to the battlefield, they had minutes at most before they marched again, snatched minutes alone before war consumed them once more.
'I will never leave you' His words were such a promise, she almost couldn't help but believe them.
'My mate' He crooned against her, as they stood, foreheads touching, lips brushing, just breathing one another in, for the moments they could, snatching them from the sky like stars, clutching them close, Feyre knew she had a dull glow, the only kind she got when she was simply quiet with Rhysand, taking him in.
'Always' She whispered against his lips, the gentlest of kisses all either could allow. They heard the call outside, and Feyre clutched at him for just a moment more. A moment stolen.
'Always'
Everything hurt.
Her body yes, her wings that fluttered and dragged on the floor, exhausted along with her. Her head ached so fiercely she wasn't sure it would ever calm again, her hands felt like the calluses and blisters on them would bleed for centuries, her feet were battered and bruised, everything in her ached and hurt until she was sure she'd never be without pain again.
And that was just her body.
Her mind? Her mind, no matter her shields, her powers as a daemati, it was screaming at her, screaming so loudly, the pain in her body, all of it was gone, her mind consumed all, a darkness rushing through her, nothing else compared, nothing else came close, just darkness rushing through her.
But it was the wrong kind of darkness.
It was not her mates mind caressing hers, gently stroking over her mind to remind her he was there. It was not the gentle touch of him, always present, always there when she needed him. It was not his laughter echoing in her mind, it was not his smooth voice, soothing her after a nightmare, or talking her into bed. It wasn't Rhysand, it wasn't her mate.
It wasn't anything at all.
It was gone.
He was gone.
She was the one screaming, but she couldn't realise that, her wails ricocheting off of the decimated battlefield. She couldn't recognize people falling to their knees, watching her, a name in legend now; Feyre Cursebreaker, High Lady of the Night Court, brought to her knees, screaming so loudly the dead King of Hybern could surely hear her, could surely flinch at her from whatever afterlife existed as she screeched to the high heavens and hells.
Surely, everyone living, or dead could hear her, even her mate.
Flames whipped around her body, waves crashed and broke, she no longer glowed but the swirl of darkness around her near suffocated anyone who tried to get close, none could, as she screamed, and pulled the body at her feet closer, closer, pressing him to her chest, her fingers scrabbling to hold him near, never letting go, never.
He was gone, it was gone, their mating bond.
It had flickered away like ash, as Rhysand had fallen. The place it had resided was now empty, cold, like a part of her had been cleaved out, cleaved and broken.
The swirling darkness was not his, but hers, in her grief, her agony, the tattoos on her wrist flickering away, her mind broken beyond repair, she screamed and wept, havoc and pain, for her mate, for Rhys, the love of her life, the bond cold.
Only for a second did she manage to look up, only for a moment in her agony did she glance forward, at the cauldron, arrogant and still presiding over them, she saw it, in her Fae eyes, the gaze dripping with tears, saw it, pointed, in a reminiscence of her sister accusing, dragging, cursing, pointed, she accused the Cauldron, of ripping her mate from her with this war, a war that meant nothing if Rhys was gone, nothing.
She pointed, felt something where the bond had been stir, and then the darkness consumed her, and she knew no more.
Until, light, bright, the glow reminded her of the powers given to her by Helion, a shaft of glittering sunlight, and then her eyes opened, and with a gasp, her now dull gaze came back to her.
The gasp could surely be heard across Prythian, even from the human side.
Which was where she was.
Her gaze darted around, so dull, human. And she realised, as breath chased through her body, as she felt the beat of her heart, looked down at her hands, bow in hand, scarred but not tattooed, no eye blinked back at her from her palm, only a shallow cut and two hunting scars, her body, as another breath ran across her, as she felt a shiver of cold up her spine.
She was human.
Gone was her graceful High Fae body, her elegant limbs, the sharp eyesight, and hearing. She was crouched in a tree she realised, her weak malnourished human legs holding her up, she was no longer High Fae, trained by Illyrian warriors and honed to defend herself, to kill if need be. No, she was now and again a weak human, nothing more.
Weak, and the pang in her stomach, told her hungry, starving.
She looked out from her perch, felt the drift of cold, saw the doe running past, felt that gnawing hunger in her stomach again and knew, knew beyond doubt, what would come next, where she was, Mother above, when she was.
It wasn't where or when, it was both.
The wolf, Andreas walked past just as she'd known he would, the wolf she'd killed, not knowing, only now, now she knew.
She'd … Mother, she'd gone back in time.
There was no way to explain it, no way to understand it, other than to know it must be. How else was she human again? How else was she awaiting hidden in the trees to slay Andreas and start the chain of events again? How else was she so weak, and yet every memory remained intact? She was human, and hungry, tired, and so weak again, but her mind, remained sharp, her mind … every memory remained.
Of all that would come, of all that would happen, of …
Rhys.
Her mate.
Cold dread swept over her, and the place their bond had been once, she searched it, terrified, remembered feeling it crumble, whispering away on the wind after Rhys had died, she searched, panic flickering through her, until she felt it, and relief near crushed her.
It wasn't quite whole, not snapped into place yet, she wasn't even sure if it could whilst she was still human, but it was there, thin and weak like her, but it was there, with a promise to become stronger. She stroked her mind over it and felt such relief she nearly keeled over.
The mating bond was there, which meant Rhys was alive, which meant whatever circumstances had allowed that, time travel, the Mother interfering or her forcing the Cauldrons hand, she didn't know and for the moment didn't care, to have Rhys back, even as tears leaked down her cheeks that he was so far away, that he might not know her, to have him back was all that mattered.
The rest would come.
And yet, would it?
She thought of the journey that had taken her to meeting Rhys, to becoming High Fae, to becoming High Lady of the Night Court, and she realized with a jolt, it had all started here.
There was a reason she'd been returned here, either through will or meddling of the Mother, she was back here because this was when it had all began, this was when she'd first stumbled upon the path she now knew with certainty her life was meant to lead; to being with Rhys, her mate, her love, to becoming Feyre Cursebreaker, to saving the continent.
But it had been at the cost of Rhys life, and that she had to change.
Some things mattered more than anything and all else.
What else had mattered but Rhys? The Inner Circle her found family, her sisters yes, but truly it all paled in comparison, to Rhys, the first to love her truly and without reserve, he had been all she had, and she knew, regardless of other friends, her family, none of it, none of it worked without him, none of it was worth living without him.
She felt the mating bond again, a reassurance, something soft seemed to tickle her mind, could it be Rhys? Would he remember her? She could only hope, but accept if not, that they would meet again. They had to. She already loved him, but she even smiled at the thought of getting him to fall in love with her all over again.
She looked down at Andreas, his white coat, his eyes roaming, hoping for that chance to break the curse, and knowing he was a volunteer didn't make it any easier, even as she tried to sense the bond again, sense what was to come, sense who made this all worth it.
But still she didn't hesitate, as the arrow she cocked, flew, and buried itself in the Faes side, starting the chain of events all over again, starting from what she knew would come tomorrow, with a shudder; Tamlin would find her at her family home, and she would go to Fae, and this time she would never come home, not again.
She heard the whine come from Andreas as the arrow found his heart, and he fell. She felt a pang of guilt, felt for the bond, and then with a sigh jumped from the tree with a wince, so much weaker now as she made her way to the wolf, and her fate.
And she could have sworn the bond moved back against her as she took that first step.
yes, time travel time!
chapters will usually be longer, this is just a lil opener to start us off. feyre has gone back in time, and she must navigate her way forward, to see rhys again, but maybe change some stuff along the way? we shall see!
I know this concept has been done to death, but I wanted to do it my way, I hope you enjoy
do fav/follow, review 3
