A/N: This was originally going to be posted as a chapter of ADSB, but I figured that posting it as a separate oneshot would be for the best. You don't need to read ADSB to understand this fic, not that it's really meant to be understood at all, but there are some details that elude to feature developments in that story.

Nothing much to warn about this oneshot besides some mild body horror near the end, but nothing bloody.


Link takes a deep breath. He had finally reached the final room of Skyview Temple. It had been quite the difficult journey since someone had installed large disco balls on the ceiling of every room, whose constant flashing colors made the hero dizzy. He had persevered though, and now it was finally time to meet Ghirahim.

Link inserted the key to open the door. The key, which was actually a pocket-sized Groose, was not very happy about the hero shoving him into the keyhole. He cursed him out quite vocally in his chipmunk-like voice, and threatened to put a curse on LInk's bellybutton. But Link said that was okay because his bellybutton was on vacation, much to Mini-Groose's anger.

The door opened, and link was promptly blasted with loud disco music. Ghirahim was in the center of the room, dancing and singing his heart out. Instead of his cape, the demon wore an overly poofy, glittering red tutu. He didn't seem to notice the hero's presence at all due to how caught up in his groove he was.

"Fi, what's going on here?" Link asks, feeling a little concerned.

"It appears that Ghirahim has gotten a severe case of Disco Fever,"the sword spirit explained. "In order to proceed, you must cure him by applying some anti-disco spray."

Link was immediately relieved. "Oh, that makes sense. But, how do I get some spray?"

"You will find a can in your pouch," Fi replied. "Brought to you free of charge by the DFPA, Disco Fever Prevention League."

"Wait, don't you mean agency? Because league starts with l, and you said—"

"Do not question the league." Fi's voice was eerily deep, and did she always have fangs?

"O-Okay, okay. Hylia! I'm sorry." Link began rummaging through his pouch. He found many things he didn't remember putting in there such as a bar of soap, a box of tissues, someone's left shoe, and several live slugs. He realized this was because he had also been gifted by the Cleanliness Awareness Agency (CAL) and the Slug Cult. He made a note to ask Fi how to opt out of their mailing programs as soon as possible.

Finally, Link found the spray he was looking for. It didn't look like it would help because it mostly seemed to be a pine-scented air freshener. But Fi hadn't been wrong yet, so the hero trusted her judgement.

Link lifted the can high and shot a large sprits in Ghirahim's general direction. The demon's eyes widened, and he coughed violently. But he was no longer dancing, and was now back in his cape.

"Oh, thank you very much for saving me, Link!" Ghirahim said, looking quite grateful, if a bit dazed. "Without you, why, I would've been on a one-way trip to Funky Town. With my hands in the air, like I just didn't care! Oh, and nice tutu, by the way."

Link was confused, until he looked down and realized that yes, he was now wearing a tutu. He was certain that it was the same one the demon had been wearing, even though it had inexplicably turned green. But oddly, the hero found he didn't mind this. In fact, he… kind of… liked it?

"Thanks!" Link says, and he does a happy twirl, laughing as his new tutu billows out around him.

"Please stop spinning Link, there is a high probability I will vomit," Fi complains.

"Oh, sorry." Link stops twirling. "Wait, how would you throw up? You're a sword."

"She would do it in her imagination," Ghirahim explains as he takes out a box of crayons and begins graffitiing up the huge golden door that Zelda is behind. "Imaginary vomit can be just as devastating as real vomit, though slightly less messy."

Link pouts. "I don't believe it. I think you're both just trying to ruin my fun."

"Why don't you join me in redecorating this temple?" Ghirahim suggests. He has drawn several diamonds, hearts, rainbows and smiley faces on the door.

Link feels a childlike excitement bubbling up inside of him at this suggestion, and immediately runs over to join the fun. He sees that there are many shades of green because Ghirahim has brought a huge box of crayons to draw with, much to his delight. The hero decides that this door would look grate if it had a dragon on it.

Unfortunately, his artistic vision never sees the light of day. For suddenly the door explodes open and Zelda comes running through. She looks ballistic. "Link! How dare you violate this sacred temple, and while associating with a demon no less! You should know better than that!"

Link wants to say many things. About how sorry he is, or even that the door would look so much better when they were done with it. Instead, what came out ended up being: "You know, you don't really look all that kidnapped."

This doesn't seem like it was the wisest thing the Skyloftian could've said, however. Zelda now looks downright feral with rage, and she lunges at Link, fast.

But Ghirahim is faster. He intercepts the girl's path and with a swift slash of his rapier, slices Zelda all the way down the front of her body.

But Zelda doesn't scream, doesn't bleed, doesn't fall. Instead, the crack in her abdomen begins to widen, her skin rolling back like the peel of a fruit. Soon it falls away completely, revealing, of all things, a second girl underneath.

This girl has short dark hair and is wearing a leather jacket and pants. "Thanks," she says. "That skin was so uncomfortable. It's nice to get a break from it." She stomps on the empty skin, which scatters into several bird feathers that float away on the breeze. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I can't. I'm still stuck. She still has me. We'll talk more when you can free me for real."

Then a motorcycle appears, which the odd girl climbs onto and speeds away with a roar.

"Um, what just happened?" Link breathes, feeling incredibly unsettled.

"I don't know," Ghirahim mutters, staring at the place the brunette once stood. "I certainly did not expect that. But what I do know is…"

Whatever Ghirahim was going to say, Link would never know. Because soon, his surroundings began to fade.


A/N: April fools!