"But weren't you going to get something to eat?" I wondered after she suggested leaving. She was in a restaurant, after all.
She shook her head no. "I only came in here to change his diaper." She spoke in a whisper, seeming embarrassed since she never intended to eat here. "Before I made an unexpected stop to use the bathroom and saw you, I was on my way to get him his dinner."
"Don't you breastfeed?" I couldn't help it; my eyes averted to her enlarged breasts as I said this.
A familiar warmth spread in my core, and my pants became a little tighter as I felt myself becoming hard. Quickly, I adjusted myself and forced my eyes to focus on a framed picture of a sailboat that was hanging on the wall by where we stood. This was definitely not the time to have a hard-on.
"Um… Well, I tried, but he has a unique diet, and I think he's getting hungry." She was choosing her words very carefully since we were out in public. "Or so, I guess. I'm not really sure since I'm still learning what his cries mean."
"How old is he?" I wondered since she admitted being new to motherhood.
"He'll be six weeks old next Tuesday." She replied with a smile.
I blinked. I knew he was young, but wow, Bella looked good for giving birth five and a half weeks ago. Actually, she looked better than good, and I felt myself becoming excited again. I really needed to get in control of myself. I needed a distraction from where my mind was going. I decided to focus on my baby's diet instead of Bella's body.
"Is he vegetarian?" I asked, knowing she would know exactly what I meant.
"Yes." She answered, not at all disgusted by what I was referring to. "Let's get out of here, and I'll show you what he likes for dinner."
"Do you hunt his meals?" I wondered, trying to picture Bella out in the woods hunting deer with a rifle.
"If by "hunt" you mean going to the grocery store and searching in the frozen meat section for what we need, then yes." She said in a teasing tone.
I raised an eyebrow. What did she mean by that? What on Earth did she feed my child?
"Do you want to go hunting at a grocery store with us?" She asked hopefully and added. "The longer I make him wait, the louder he will get. So, we need to leave now."
"I'll go with you. Lead the way." I spoke.
She started walking away from where we had been standing by the bathrooms, and so did I.
I didn't bother going back to the dinner party since I was counting on Alice to have already seen my decision to leave. She would make up some appropriate excuse for me. Everything would be fine.
With each step I took, I started to wonder why Alice never told me Bella had been pregnant, never once mentioned that I had a son. She never seemed to have been blocking her thoughts from me, but surely she had seen everything about Bella's future that I was just finding out about. But didn't my sister think I would want to know? Before we got to the exit, and I could give another thought to any of this, I caught Alice's scent.
"Edward! Bella?" My sister sounded confused.
Both of us turned to see a very confused Alice standing six feet away from us.
"Bella...and baby?" Alice's jaw dropped.
"Yes, I had a baby. Alice, you didn't know?" Bella patted Anthony, whose hands were clenched into tiny fists as tears streamed down his little face. He was clearly not happy.
"No. I never "saw" this happening." Alice spoke truthfully, closing the distance between all of us. Her golden eyes widened in surprise, and were fixed on Bella and my baby.
At the moment, I couldn't hear anyone's thoughts, not even my sister's. So, I could only imagine she was silently asking me about the crying baby, who had my features when her eyes flashed up to me for a second.
"If you're silently communicating with me, I can't hear you," I said to Alice in a fast-paced tone that only immortals could hear. "My talent keeps coming and going and I'm not sure why."
Not to mention that I was spontaneously able to hear Bella's thoughts when I never could before. Confusing as it was, I loved every second of it.
Alice cocked her head to the side. "Odd," She spoke in the same rapid tone as I had. "Something is happening with my gift as well. Minutes ago, I had a vision of you taking off with a fleet of yellow rubber ducks, while holding a baby bottle filled with blood. I don't know what that's about so I came to look for you." She shook her head.
I stared at her, deadpan. That had to be the craziest thing she ever said. If not the oddest vision she ever saw.
"Anyways," Alice said, in a normal tone, changing the subject. "Bella, what are you doing in Oregon with a baby and where is Charlie?"
"Alice, he's my son. His name is Anthony Edward." I explained, putting my arm around Bella and looking at my son, who was still crying.
"Son? Oh, how did I miss this?" Alice asked. She seemed to be talking more to herself than to either of us.
Neither Bella, nor I answered her. However, Bella did suggest we go outside because Anthony wouldn't stop crying. She didn't want anyone to become bothered by that. Alice and I agreed. The three of us walked out of the restaurant.
Bella held our cranky baby, and I held the infant seat. Alice had so many questions and began to ask them all. She wasn't used to being taken by surprise and needed answers.
"Bella, you have to tell me what you're doing in Oregon." Alice said in such a high-pitched voice that my son didn't seem to like. He began to scream.
"I've been living in Oregon for a few months now." Bella began to explain, adjusting Anthony so his head rested on her shoulder. "I first lived -"
"You and Charlie moved here? When? Why? Did he get transferred or retire? Where do you go to school?" Alice was too anxious to wait for Bella to answer any questions. She kept going. "I can't see anything, but maybe you'll go to the same school as us. Oh! That would be great if we have the same classes. Unlike someone whose not in my grade this year." She glared at me for a second before going back into her animated, cheerful self. "It'll be so nice to have you in the eleventh grade with me. Maybe you'll have the same homeroom and we can try out for cheer–"
"Alice, please calm down. Let Bella answer one question at a time," I suggested.
For once, I was grateful not to have the use of my talent. Because my sister's mind was running wild with a million questions and would have no doubt made me dizzy. I would have had to concentrate very hard to block her out.
Alice pouted; she clearly had more to ask Bella. But nevertheless, she patiently waited for the answers she craved as we stood outside, in front of the restaurant.
"No. Charlie's in Forks." Bella began, saying his first name in a bitter way, which wasn't her normal behavior towards her father. "However, Anthony and I recently moved to this town and live in a shelter for teen mothers. Before that I was in Idaho, and before that, California, and Nevada. I've been on a bit of a road trip, I guess you could say."
"You live in a homeless shelter?" Alice gasped, and I was unable to hide the look of pain on my face. Our shock was not lost on Bella, she blushed in embarrassment.
"It's not as bad as it sounds." Bella went on to say, downplaying her situation. "It's less of a homeless shelter and more like a safe haven. Anthony and I have our own room at this one. It's better than some of the other ones I was at when I first started on my journey."
"Oh, Bella." I sighed. A horrible ache in my chest gnawed at me. I put her through more than I could imagine. I had to make things right for her and my baby. They couldn't stay in a shelter. I had to get them out of there before the night was over.
"I'm so sorry, Bella." Alice said the words I should have said. "What about school?"
"I dropped out. Haven't set foot in a school since I left Forks High months ago." She explained, trying not to sound sad, but she did. "Going to school and being a mother isn't possible with a baby as unique as Anthony. I don't trust anyone to watch him." Her tone was very serious.
Alice and I nodded in agreement. The baby was half-vampire, so it made sense she wouldn't trust a human nanny to look after him. I'm sure other things besides his diet would be red flags that he wasn't fully human.
"What happened? What made you leave Forks?" Alice wondered. She couldn't see what had passed, only what was to come. Though even with the future, she was having difficulty seeing anything at that moment.
"It's complicated." Bella sighed, tears welling up in her eyes.
"He kicked you out?" I guessed.
"Not in so many words," Bella said with an uncomfortable look on her face. She held Anthony a little tighter.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I kind of ran away," She admitted. "I did it to avoid a trip to Planned Parenthood. Charlie wanted me to get an abortion after he caught me drinking a raw steak. He was sure his best friend Billy and his wife were was right about me being pregnant with a demon's child. He made the appointment, even though that's not what I wanted. He wouldn't listen to me, so I left. I haven't talked to him since."
Alice gasped, bringing her hands up to her mouth.
Anger, pain, and the feeling of being stunned at the way Charlie handled it swirled around inside my mind. I found myself unable to speak. I could only hold Bella in my arms, placing a kiss on her cheek, then one on my baby's head.
I couldn't imagine what she had to go through after I left. My initial response to being the cause of something so tragic; as Bella being forced to be on her own would be to shutdown and loathe myself for what I had done. But I couldn't do that; I was a father now and I needed to step-up.
I felt that in my core.
"Bella," I said, pulling back to see her face. "Shall we go get his nourishment?"
"Yeah." She said.
Right on cue, Anthony let out an ear-piercing cry. He was unhappy and wanted everyone to know it.
"Say no more. You guys go on." Alice said, waving her hands in the air like she was directing traffic. "I'm going to go back inside, I'll tell Ms. Wood that you had a stomachache and had to leave. I'll see you at home." She said to me, then to Bella, she said, "It was nice seeing you. We must make plans to take the little guy shopping. I see a whole new wardrobe in his future."
Bella gasped in horror. Alice ignored her reaction and gave her a hug and kissed Anthony's cheek. With that, my sister skipped back inside to return to the dinner party, Bella and I walked away from the restaurant.
Out in the parking lot, my eyes scanned every vehicle in the lot, searching for Bella's old red truck. I was surprised to find that her rusted behemoth was nowhere to be seen. My surprise turned into shock as she led the way to a white 1988 Nissan station wagon with brown interior. She unlocked it and turned to me.
"Could you please hold him, while I get his car seat situated?" She asked, sounding a little timid.
"Hold him?" I wondered in a whisper.
"Yes." She nodded her head.
I didn't respond as I stood there thinking about what she said.
That thought both thrilled and frightened me. I have never held a baby before. The thought of holding a half-human that was no bigger than my forearm scared the hell out of me. Even though I wanted to hold him. What if I dropped him or crushed him accidentally, or what if he didn't like me? Those were a few of my fears I had. I gulped.
"I know he's fussy, and his crying might bother you with your sensitive hearing." She was speaking fast. "You don't have to hold him long. Just for a minute, maybe two."
Taken aback by her words, I inwardly groaned. She was mistaking my apprehension for unwillingness. I let out a sigh as she waited for my answer.
"Bella, I want to hold him in fact, I've been wanting to since I first laid eyes on him. I just don't know how. I've never held an infant before." I explained, not trying to hide my nervousness from her.
"Ooooh." Bella stretched out the simple word. Immediately, she smiled. "Don't worry; it's easy. I'll show you."
She then opened the backdoor, allowing me to put the carrier – which doubled as a car seat – inside. With my hands free, Bella instructed me on how to hold our baby. She placed him in my arms, reminding me to hold his head, but he was perfectly capable of holding his head up on his own. Right away, I noticed how strong he was. The strength in his neck muscles were impressive for a newborn.
I held this tiny little being in my arms, marveling at his beauty and strength, while Bella did what she had to do. He was perfect in every way. I couldn't believe he was mine, but he was, and that made me happy in so many ways.
"Anthony," I said softly to my baby son, and he stopped crying. His big green eyes met mine. "I'm your Daddy. I know we're only meeting for the first time and I'm very sorry about that. I love you, and I'll never leave you again."
The words I spoke were meant for the little guy in my arms to hear, no one else. I was not trying to make myself look good and I think Bella understood that when she emerged from the backseat. She stood there with a green pacifier in one hand and a fuzzy blue baby blanket in the other. She didn't speak a word, but the tears that were glistening in her eyes, illuminated by the lights in the parking lot, were not lost on me.
"I mean it," I said to Bella. "I'm not leaving you two. You're my family, my life, and I'm going to stick by your side and make things right."
Bella, sighed as she gave Anthony his pacifier. "That sounds nice, but we have so much to talk about."
I nodded my head.
Immediately, I found myself wishing I could have access to her mind like I did earlier, so I could know exactly what she was going to say and how I should respond. However, that was useless since her mind was closed off to me as it normally had been before tonight.
Suddenly, an image filled my mind. I knew Bella couldn't be thinking of what was making its way to my mind, and my whole resolve came crumbling down. At first, the picture was a baby bottle filled with the liquid a half-vampire baby needed to survive, along with burning flames from a scene in a cartoon. Then, in a blink of an eye the image of the baby bottle was empty and there were no longer burning flames. Seeing those images I realized Anthony was thinking the thoughts I was seeing.
His first thoughts that I was able to read told me he was thirsty, and his discomfort went beyond hunger. He was in pain, the way a vampire gets when we're thirsty. His throat was burning. Very lightly, I rubbed his throat, and he closed his eyes. I smiled as I realized I was making him feel a little better.
"Is he okay?" Bella asked, sounding worried.
"His throat hurts the same way mine does when I wait too long to drink," I explained, handing him over to her.
"Oh. I should have realized that was a possibility." She said sheepishly.
I didn't say anything as she buckled him in his car seat. She was human and therefore had no way of knowing what the burning thirst felt like. Without a word, I got into the passenger seat, and soon Bella was in the driver's seat. She put the key in the ignition and the engine purred. The noise was a lot softer than her decrepit truck. I did not miss that fossil of a vehicle one bit.
As we drove out of the parking lot, another image filled my mind. At first, it was Bella. But then, very quickly, the thoughts were changing, and an image of me filled my mind. The emotions behind these thoughts were pure and full of love. I knew right away, I was seeing through my son's eyes. I was seeing the way he saw Bella and me and feeling the love he has for us both.
Being able to read his mind, even though it was only pictures and not words was amazing. It was life-changing. Who I once had been and who I thought I was were no match compared to what I was now.
A dad.
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