Making my way up the front porch steps I couldn't deny I felt happy, much more than I had in months.
Not only did I feel happy, but also…full. That's the best way to describe it. Yes. There definitely was a fullness inside my dead heart that hadn't been there in a long time. I knew this feeling had everything to do with having Bella back in my life, and finding out I had a son.
Placing my hand on the doorknob I caught the thoughts of my parents. They were in the living room –they were the only ones here since my siblings were still out. My parents were watching TV and waiting for me. I was more than aware Carlisle and Esme wanted to speak to me, but I had other things on my mind. Such as heading up to my room to charge my phone, take a shower, and sit at my piano to compose a song. I hadn't felt like playing the piano since we lived in Forks, but I wanted to tonight. However, my peaceful plans immediately changed when I stepped through the door.
"Where's Bella and that sweet baby of yours?" Esme flew from the couch and appeared in front of me.
Dumbfounded, I blinked. I was alone, but what if hadn't been? My mother's rapid movement would have frightened Bella and Anthony, too.
"Are they outside?" She asked when I didn't answer. Giving me no time to respond she rushed to the window and began peeking through the curtains like a nosy neighbor. Coincidentally, there was a car driving down the dirt road. It wasn't Bella, but that didn't stop my mother from opening the door and rushing outside.
From her mind I saw the car drive off, making her realize it was no one that knew us. Unfortunately, she didn't come inside. Her mind was on babies and she wasn't thinking rationally. She was sure Bella was somewhere on our large property. She began to run in the direction of the house around back where Jasper and Alice lived.
Frozen where I stood - with my back to the open door - I was trying to peace together what my mother was doing. I couldn't. Her mind was a gaggle of joyful chaos that gave me no clues.
"They aren't here, are they?" Carlisle joined me in the foyer. His movements were leisurely and his tone was calm. The total opposite of my mother.
"No," I raked a hand through my unruly hair.
I didn't sound sad; my father noticed. He took in my expression trying to figure out my mood as my mother was doing… whatever she was doing outside.
"I offered Bella a place to stay and she declined. She doesn't want to stay here just yet." I explained, thinking about how I had parted ways with her on a good note. She had given me a hug, I returned it and also gave her a kiss on the forehead. I gave one to Anthony, too. "She decided to do what she believes is best for herself and our child. Even though I want them with me, I respect her wishes. She's been on her own for so long. I don't want to push her into what I believe is best. Doing so could result in her not wanting to see me, and I don't want that."
"Understandable." Carlisle nodded his head once. Just as Bella had pointed out that I had seemed more grown-up tonight, my father noticed it too. "That was very wise of you." He noted, his thoughts matched his words.
"Thank you." I said with a small grin.
'He didn't bring Bella and the baby.'
No sooner had I caught my mother's disappointed thoughts than she came back inside, shutting the door behind her. She stood next to my father looking a bit disheveled with twigs and leaves in her caramel colored hair. I had no idea what she had been doing, but I wasn't about to ask. Sometimes my parents were weird; over the decades I found it best to not ask questions I really didn't want the answer to.
"Mom, Balla and Anthony have returned to the shelter for the night. She doesn't want to uproot our baby just hours after he and I met. She believes it's best to ease him into getting to know everyone." I explained to my mother why I came home alone.
My mother frowned. My father picked out the leaves and twigs from her hair, and I sighed as he asked her how her hair had collected parts of a tree.
"I was sure Bella was outside with the baby, so I went looking for them. I didn't bother ducking under a low branch so it got tangled in my hair." She answered him and to me she said, "If she didn't want to stay the night you could have at least brought them to visit for a few hours."
"It's getting late and Anthony fell asleep after he drank his dinner." I replied. "Bella and I talked it over and decided it'd be best for them to visit during the day."
"Tomorrow!?" My mother half shouted, bouncing a little. She was very enthusiastic as she tried to picture what my baby son might look like.
Not wanting to burst her bubble, yet, not wanting to get her hopes up for nothing either, I shook my head. My parents both waited for me to speak.
"No, not tomorrow." I said with complete honesty. "Bella needs time to prepare herself to see everyone. However, tomorrow she and I have plans to spend the day together so I can get to know my son and he can get to know me. Then, maybe on Sunday we'll bring him over."
Esme's facial expression became forlorn. She turned to my father. "We have to wait till Sunday to meet our grandchild."
"That's Bella's decision." He shrugged his shoulders. "She's his mother."
Thanks to my extra hearing -my mind reading- I heard the thousand and one questions Esme wanted to pepper me with. Before she could even open her mouth I spoke.
"Bella and I aren't getting back together just because we have a baby." I answered the first of her unspoken queries. "In fact, she and I agreed to play things by ear; we're just friends for now. We'll co-parent Anthony."
Though the words were true, they left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't wish to only be Bella's friend. It was difficult to be platonic with her after we had been so intimate before. Those memories were there and always would be.
"That's good you and her aren't rushing back into a relationship." Esme said thoughtfully. With that she didn't feel the need to ask everything else that had been on her mind. Then quickly she added, "What about the baby?"
"What about him?" I asked. Her bringing up my son at that moment was unexpected.
"I want to have a few gifts for him when he visits. What size clothes does he wear?" She asked with excitement.
I thought about that for a minute. His clothing size wasn't something I thought about asking Bella. Luckily, I did see the tag when I changed his dirty clothes during the dreaded diaper change. The thought made me shiver in disgust. "His clothing size is newborn, same as his diapers."
"Clothes, and diapers." Mom happily repeated. I unintentionally gave her new items to shop for. "Oh! He'll need wipes, and a pack and play, and one of those swings that plays music. And toys…." My mother was verbally making a list of what she wanted to buy her grandchild.
With a laugh, I shook my head as she continued. She was getting carried away.
"He wears newborn clothes?" Carlisle's brow furrowed in concentration. "He's six weeks old?"
"On Tuesday he will be. Why?" My words were fast as I wondered if something was wrong.
'Probably nothing to worry about.' He thought as he caught my concerned expression. "Sounds a bit small for his age. For a hybrid, I mean."
I gulped. "Could something be wrong with Anthony?"
He shook his head. "There's probably nothing to fret about, but with Bella's permission, and yours too, of course. I would like to examine him when they stop by. Just to make sure he's growing properly."
"Okay." I said. My tone was a mixture of worry and stunned.
"Nutrition could play apart in a baby's size." My mother chimed in. Her mind was all on everything she wanted to buy, but somehow she picked up this conversation.
"Yes. His small size might just be due to his diet." My father tried to put me at ease. "What does his diet consist of?"
"A combination of breast milk and store bought blood from pigs, chicken, or beef." I wrinkled my nose. "She buys it in the frozen meat section."
"Frozen animal blood probably isn't very nutritious with all the antibiotics and whatnot they put in animals these days." My mother pointed out, eyeing my father.
"Right." He said. "And Aro's children have eaten in the traditional way since birth. Which may have played a role in their height."
"So, they weren't bottle-fed?" I tried to joke, not wanting to think about what they fed on.
"Yeah." My father gave a one word answer. He was pondering over Alec and Jane, and the fact they were the size of 4 month olds when they were Anthony's age.
"Oh! Bottles. He'll need bottles!" Esme loudly announced. "And a bottle brush. Oh! Can't forget a carseat, stroller, a baby bed to sleep in, cozy baby blankets, and you, Edward, will need to read one of those books "What to Expect During the First Year…."
And with that, Esme was off doing what she does best, taking care of everyone. Her mind was on baby items as she left my father and I alone. She was headed to her home office/painting studio next to the kitchen. She was planning on turing on her laptop and doing some Amazon shopping.
I stared after her as she disappeared off into the distance. She was very happy, and acting a little nutty, in my opinion. However, at least her and my father took the news about me being a dad well.
"Did he enjoy what you caught for him tonight?" Carlisle asked about Anthony.
A smile spread across my face as I turned to him. "He loved it."
"That's great." He grinned, and quickly added, "There are a few things I need to speak to you about in my office, please. Not about the baby's diet," –he shook his head– "This is um… well… It's regarding other matters." He sounded very serious, a little nervous, and was blocking his thoughts from me.
For some reason I got the feeling I knew what he was getting at. The dreaded talk all parents have with their teenagers. I hoped I was wrong though. I was a one hundred and twenty-four year old vampire after all, and considering I already had an infant, it was a bit late for The Talk.
"I went hunting, so I need to shower first." I avoided giving him an answer.
"Very well." He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. He gave it a squeeze and drop it. "Afterwards we'll talk in my office."
"Fine." I agreed, walking past him and heading up the stairs.
On the second floor, I went straight to my room and over to my desk where I placed my phone on the charger and plugged it into the wall. I wished with all my might that Carlisle wouldn't attempt to have some sort of embarrassing sex talk with me tonight. Or any night, for that matter. It wasn't something I needed.
Shaking my head to clear it I walked into the bathroom, that's when something unexplainable happened. A superficial rush hit me, making me feel dizzy for a split second. Knowing it was an artificial response, I ignored it and continued to I strip off my clothes. I turned on the water and stepped under the hot spray of the shower. Each water droplet that hit me somehow made me feel more awake than I had since I left Forks. After I broke up with Bella; that made no sense at all. I never slept, I was always awake. So, how was I feeling less tired now than before? I had no idea. Lathering my hair with shampoo I ignored the things I couldn't explain.
After my shower, I picked the first clothes my hands came in contact with; jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. My mind was clear and I felt different as I went down the hall to my father's office. The door was ajar and he was sitting at his desk. His attention was absorbed by whatever was on his computer screen.
"Is now a good time to talk?" I asked, pausing in the threshold.
He looked away from his screen and up at me. "Yes, come have a seat," He gestured to the two large armchairs in front of his desk.
I chose the one on the left and sat down. I was quiet as I waited for him to speak.
"You've had an exciting night, haven't you?" He began.
"That's one way of phrasing it." I replied with my crooked grin.
'He appears to be very happy.' He was taking in my demeanor, then quickly he thought about my mental heath. Rapidly he went over a series of questions to ask me. Oddly, the verbal examination he had in mind were what he would ask his patients in the hospital to understand their mental state.
That was weird. Is that something he always did and I hadn't notice before? Or was he just doing that tonight because I found out I had a child? I had no idea.
"I feel happy." I chose to answer his unspoke thoughts to ease his worries.
"That's good." He said, folding his hands on his desk. "When you called earlier tonight to tell me you found out you where a father I was wondering how something so monumental would effect you. Since you have, for lack of better words, been on edge these last eight months, I was concerned."
"I'm doing fine." I reassured him.
He nodded. "I'm glad. Still, I had to check with you to see how you are coping."
For a flash of a second images flickered in his mind, all of which were talks such as these he's had with me the past several months. Why I couldn't recall any of it was a mystery. Though I did notice I seemed like I was just there, kind of like I was in a transe or something as his memories faded.
"I'm fine, really. But have I really appeared so absent-minded?" I asked a bit alarmed.
His eyes tighten as he analyzed me. "Yes, son." He slowly answered. "Indeed, you have. Physically you have been here, yet, mentally you have been miles away. It was seeming to become worse by the day, yet, now you seem better."
"I feel different, in a good way." I admitted.
'I wonder if his improvement has something to do with reuniting with Bella.' He silently mused, about to go into doctor mode.
"Possibly." I answered his thoughts and he made eye contact with me.
Usually I don't answer my families private thoughts as much as I have been tonight. However, I was in a good mood and decided to provide answers that seemed to be necessary. I could tell by my father's thoughts he didn't mind that I was responding to his silent words that were not exactly meant for me. He was actually glad I was being talkative and not moody.
"I'm glad reconnecting with Bella has sparked life back into you." He leaned back in his chair. "With that being said, there's another matter I want to address."
'Please don't be the sex talk. Please don't be the sex talk. Please don't be the sex talk.' I chanted to myself. Aloud I asked, "And that would be?"
My tone was hesitant and I was breathing a bit heavy. My father gave me a curious look.
"I understand Charlie wasn't supportive of Bella's pregnancy, and attempted to terminate it against Bella's will. His actions are what led her to seek refuge in shelters across four different states." He said. His words were in the form of a statement, but felt like a question.
I nodded. At once I breathed a sigh of relief. I was very grateful this was what he wanted to speak to me about. This topic would be far less awkward to talk about than what I feared he might bring up. However, something occurred to me. I never told him most of that, but it was easy to guess who did.
"Alice told you?" I accused.
Rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, he nodded. "She did. But one thing she did not specify is how Bella has been supporting herself and her baby. She did not have any knowledge about that. Is that something you know?"
Pinching the bridge of my nose I shut my eyes. "She's receiving Welfare and Food Stamps, and something called WIC. It's where she receives vouchers for vegetables, fruit, and other food items." I shamefully admitted. This was definitely hard to talk about since I was the cause of her needing to be on these kinds of programs.
'With no one to help her out she had no choice but to apply for government assistances.' He thought to himself.
Hearing his thoughts I opened my eyes. He was right, she didn't have a choice when she applied. She ran away from home for a good reason, and I was nowhere to be found. Without the aid she was receiving, she would have had no way to buy food and necessities for herself and Anthony. Be that as it may, I could now help her out.
"Have you and Bella discussed about your responsibility as a father? Giving her child support and providing for your son?" He asked point blank.
"Agh. It wasn't something that came up, but probably should have." I admitted, feeling ashamed that I didn't talk to her about this.
My father waved a hand in the air dismissively. "I imagine there was a lot you and Bella talked about tonight, can't touch on every topic all at once. You'll probably have much more to discuss with her tomorrow." He grinned.
"Yes." I easily agreed.
"Very well." He leaned forward and typed something on the keyboard. "For now, shall you and I figure out how much money you should give her when you see her tomorrow?"
I saw from his mind he was going to have me put money on a prepaid credit card. He wasn't about to advise me to give her cash for two reasons:
1. A large amount of money could come up missing in a shelter.
2. In the past she had a difficult time accepting money from me. However, she didn't complain when I gave her the occasional gift card for gas or bookstores.
"Let's." I agreed whole heartedly.
