"Is it not weird that Bella let Anthony stay with me?" I asked. My hands were on the steering wheel and my eyes were on the road. "Do not get me wrong, I am looking forward to getting to know him. However, something appears off about this. Does it seem odd to you, too?"
"I do not know." Jasper shrugged his shoulders.
"How about her calling me three times to talk to Anthony? Or how about those four roadside video chats?" I asked. "After all, she said she was going to wait for my call, but she didn't. She ended up calling, claiming she was too tired to wait up, and going to bed."
"Our trip home is taking longer than it should and it is getting late...for humans." He reminded me. "So, no. I don't find it weird she decided not to wait for you to call her."
I knew what he said was true. It was getting late and I was driving sluggishly. Driving safely was definitely inconvenient if I wanted to be somewhere in a timely manner. When Bella called it surprised me. I had pressed the button on the steering wheel, causing her voice to come through the speakers. Each time that happened Anthony spit out his pacifier and made happy baby noises. He was excited to hear his mother's voice, and so was I. However, I was also surprised with her lack of patience. There was also something I could detect in her voice that led me to believe she was keeping something from me when we spoke.
"Something just does not seem right." I said without giving a full disclosure about what I meant.
"To me, it appears like she just misses her baby." He offered.
Ignoring what he said, I exhaled. "I just cannot understand why she wanted Anthony to come with me. Yet, she chose to stay at the shelter. It does not make sense." I explained as I drove, closer to home, at the speed of 10 miles. We were on a bumpy dirt road with numerous twists and turns. The last thing I wanted was for my son to be jostled. Which is why I wasn't driving any faster.
"Perhaps she isn't ready." Jasper gave his honest opinion as he looked out the window.
"Who wouldn't be ready to leave a homeless shelter?" I asked. I was feeling annoyed and my tone made that clear.
"Word of advice," Jasper shifted in his seat. He turned to face me. "Give her time. Try talking things out, but do not push."
"Talking things out? Give her time? Don't push?" I repeated each word as a question.
"Yeah." He nodded.
My car bumped and bounced along the rural road. From my backseat passenger's thoughts I could tell he was thoroughly enjoying his ride. He also was not paying attention to the conversation his uncle and I were having. Lucky him.
"What are you implying?" I all but demanded. My eyes were on the road and my brother's eyes were on me.
"Look," He took a deep breath, not giving me an answer. "Relationships are new to you, I get that. This is your first redo after a breakup, man. One thing to keep in mind is Bella is your girlfriend, your other half. She is someone who walks beside you, not behind. You and her need to make decisions together, talk things out. Don't try to guess what or why she does things. If you do, chances are you will get it wrong. You need to talk to her and ask questions if you want to know something. And most importantly, do not -"
"I know that." I cut him off. "I cannot read her mind. Not unless he is awake." I pointed a thumb over my shoulder at Anthony's carseat.
Anthony was wide awake with no plans on sleeping. He was sucking on his pacifier and his eyes were glued to the rear window. Which was why I could not read my brother's mind, but I could read my son's. The images he was witnessing were making their way to my brain. Therefore, my eyes were taking in what was in front of us as his thoughts flooded my mind, giving me a good view of what was behind us. It was definitely something to get used to.
"Not what I meant, Eddie." Jasper shook his head. His Texas twang was clear in the words he spoke.
Raising an eyebrow, I glanced at him. "It's not?"
"No." He waved a hand in the air.
"I am not understanding." I admitted.
I felt lost without the use of my talent. I was not sure where this conversation was going, or even what he was meaning. Even though Jasper could not use his talent either, he appeared to understand what I was feeling. Very patiently he began explaining.
"Put mind reading aside for a second." He began. "What I am trying to say is relationships are fifty/fifty. Neither person should give more than they take. Nor should either person dictate what the other does or should do. Speaking from my own experience, a good relationship is a partnership with a best friend. It is not a dictatorship with someone weaker. No one should ever make decisions for a significant other just because they believe they are right. Nor should one person always believe they are more knowledgeable than the other." He took an unnecessary breath, then continued. "Having a mindset like that, things will not work out. Same with relying on gifts that go beyond the norm of our kind, that will also not work out. Both people must talk things out. And trust me, a good relationship requires effort. It is not always easy and no one should expect it to be. Nor should one person become angry or broody when things do not go their way."
By the end of his speech a cold chill ran down my back. I understood every word he said, and even the ones he did not say.
"You think I am toxic?" I blurted out.
Jasper did not respond. His phone rang, he ignored it, letting it go to voicemail.
There, in the passenger's seat, my brother, best friend, and confidant sat ramrod straight. He did not move. Nor did he speak.
I had no idea what was going on in his mind. Though in mine, peace and turmoil were at war as my grip on the steering wheel tightened. My temper was threatening to get the better of me but I was fighting it. That was something I did not need.
Loosening my hold on the steering wheel, I inhaled. Every scent inside the car filled my nostrils; individual scents from each material item made their way to me first. Next was the scent of my brother, who I could tell had been hunting. Last was the most impotent of all; my son. Finally, I exhaled, blowing all the air out.
I took another deep breath before I spoke. "Jazz, you think I am toxic, do you not?"
My words were less of a question but more of a statement. I desperately needed him to answer me.
Jasper sighed. "Not necessarily."
What was that supposed to indicate?
From the corner of my eye, I stared at him. I was not sure what to say, so I kept quiet. My foot on the accelerator; I kept up my unhurried pace. I estimated we would make it home by midnight, which was less than two hours. Yes, that is how slow I was going.
"I know that is not the answer you were looking for," Jasper said after a few minutes. "And no, I do not think you are toxic. However, the way you broke up with Bella was."
There was an odd feeling in my chest. It was a superficial tightness that came with the memory of what he said. The memory of that horrible day so long ago when I broke up with Bella. I was a jerk. A good liar, and I broke an angel's heart.
I knew exactly what he was referring to. Yet, I feign innocence.
"What are you indicating?" I asked, making my voice higher. By the high-pitched tone of my voice I sounded younger.
Jasper rolled his eyes. "For starters, you were in a sexual relationship with her. She ended up carrying your child, and you ended up leaving. If it was not for her moving to the same town as us, you probably would not have ever known you had a child."
The truth of what I had done hung in the air. He was right, I was toxic. Be that as it may, there was one thing he did not appear to be considering.
"Jazz, I was under the impression I was dead. All my organs were out of commission. Hell, my stomach is not even functional! Therefore, I did not think other things worked like they would if I were human. That's why there was never a doubt in my mind that I was not able to procreate." I spoke the truth. It was an unintelligent way of thinking, I know that now. Nevertheless, it was genuine.
"I am not disputing that." He spoke slowly. "Nor will I sugarcoat how immature it was not to realize you were capable of impregnating a human female. After all, that is in our histories. I know Carlsile told you about hybrids when you were younger. As well as immortal children and how the two are completely different from one another."
Feeling dumb, I shrugged my shoulders. "I was younger then and apparently confused fact with fiction."
What a lame excuse that was. I knew I was not fooling my brother. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. It was clear he was not going to be empathetic to me and go alone with my way of thinking. As he should not. After all, I had more than a century to realize male vampires could father children with a human female.
"Yes, well," Jasper continued. "It was immature. So, were you always wanting her to do as you said? It was like you saying "jump," and her saying "how high." But when she jumped you said, "goodbye." Now she is afraid you will do it again, and you want her fears to disappear."
"But it cannot disappear overnight." I realized, looking at the dark country road before us. There were no street lamps to illuminate the night. With my keen eyesight street lights were never needed. However, tonight the night sky appeared to be darker than normal. It was eerie.
"No." He agreed. "Once fear has been released it's difficult to contain."
"I know that." I tapped my temple. Being a mindreader allowed me to have a greater insight behind people's emotions. I knew once fear was present, it was not easy not to feel it. I didn't want Bella to be fearful of me for any reason. There was no need for it. However, I wasn't sure what to do. "How can I get Bella to trust me completely? How do I get her to stay with me?"
Jasper let out a deep breath. "I don't know how to answer that." He admitted and added, "The best thing you can do is to prove you will be by her side for her and your son."
"I am trying to prove that. I have told her she can count on me for anything." I said. All the while I was wondering what more proof Bella would need that I would not leave. Was it not enough to take Anthony for the night when I did not have the slightest clue how to care for a baby?
"Always remember actions speak louder than words." He reminded me. "Do not just say you will do something, that is not sufficient. You must do what you say you are going to do. Got it?"
"Yes. Talk is cheap." I said and he agreed.
Our conversation was finally over. Simultaneously, Jasper leaned back in his seat as Anthony growled. It was a playful sound which was muffled by his pacifier.
In my mind's eye, images began to flicker from my son's mind to mine. It was not anything he was looking at, but a memory. It was recent and had little to do with his mother or myself, though both of us were in his thoughts. As well as a random couple, who appeared to be in their late 40's. They were the stars of the show, so to speak.
Being able to read his mind allowed me to see what he believed was compelling. In fact, he thought it was a very intriguing event he witnessed in his young life.
He and I had been in the hall by the food court at the mall. He was in my arms and I was standing with my back pressed against the wall opposite the restrooms where Bella was. I had been talking to him while we waited for his mother, but he was not listening to me. Instead his attention was drawn to elsewhere. Approximately fifty feet away at a table for two a couple - two women - sat there having a playful argument. Well, I assumed it was all in good nature by their tones and by what they were disagreeing about. They were disagreeing about which term was the correct one to use for their evening meal: 'dinner' or 'supper.'
Their conflict was not the least bit exciting to me. On the other hand, to my baby it was the equivalent of watching a drama on television. Twenty seconds in and I realized he was a people watcher.
At that moment I decided to make his day. I walked across the food court, bought a Boba drink along with a pastry and sat down two tables across from those disagreeing lovebirds. They ate Chinese food and failed to agree on 'dinner' or 'supper.' All the while I sat with my infant in one arm as I munched on tasteless bread. It was the second time today I was forcing down human food that would just sit in my stomach until I purged it. It was not something I typically enjoyed. However, this was for a good cause; so my people watching half-vampire son could get a better view. He loved every minute of it and was disappointed when Bella found us, and we left the food court. When we walked away Bella had asked what we were doing and I told her. She made it no secret that she thought I lost my mind.
My son's memory ended right there, but my thoughts continued. I was glad I could make him happy by doing something so simple. Bonding with him was easy. That was good because I had time to make up with him since I hadn't known him as long as I should have.
Turning the bend on the curvy road I saw something out of the ordinary. We were about seven miles from our house and we saw a bright blue light shining in the distance. It appeared to be coming out of the ground and shone directly at us. This light was not normally there and I wasn't sure what it was. In a way it reminded me of a lighthouse guiding a ship's way at sea. That is when something clicked in my mind. I knew where this light was coming from.
"Jasper, why is our house glowing in baby blue lights?" I asked slowly.
He sat up a little straighter and looked ahead. "Aha! So that's why she needed all those Christmas lights."
I groaned. There was no need to ask who he was talking about, I already knew; Alice. She was indeed up to something. If the lights were not an indication of that, then perhaps the blue balloons covering every inch of the roof were. Those became visible as we drove down a hill and our old plantation style house came into view. There were balloons of every shade of blue secured to the roof, and a few pink ones in the mix as well.
Taking in the sight of our house my eyes literally popped out of their sockets.
You know that scene in the Disney movie UP? The scenewhere the old man's house floats away with all the balloons tied to it? Yeah. Well, that was how our parents' house looked. Plus it was glowing bright in the dark night. There had to be more than 5000 blue Christmas lights and there were too many balloons to count. It was a frightening sight. My stomach knotted up with stress and the phrase impending doom swirled around my mind. Everything about the frightening way the outside of our house was decorated had my conscience warning me to turn back. Especially after I caught a glimpse of the eight foot cut-out of a stork carrying a blue bundle in its beak. That ridiculous cut-out was placed at the entrance of our driveway. The words It's A Boy ran down the driveway with more storks. Yup. This was indeed a warning to leave. Who knew what else there was waiting for me?
I didn't turn back though. I didn't even try. What I did was ignore all the absurd decorations and continue to drive down the long driveway. Usually, I parked in the large detached garage, but since I had a small baby and all his luggage, I decided not to. Parking in the driveway under the carport, by the kitchen, would be more convenient. Normally, this was Carlisle's spot, but he was at work and wouldn't mind.
As my car's tires were crawling to a stop by the dinning room window, there was a loud bang. It came from the front porch. It sounded like a bomb going off followed by an explosion of wood and glass. What an odd sound that was.
Pressing the break and putting the car in park, I turned to Jasper. I raised one eyebrow, silently asking him if this was a part of whatever Alice had planned. His only response was to shake his head as Anthony fussed. No, the explosion of wood was not part of... well. Whatever this was.
Not sure what was going on, Jasper rolled down his window and I opened my door. Doing so made the car unlock, which was not something I was intending to do, nor did I give it much thought. In the forefront of my mind, my only thought was making sure there was no threat waiting for us. Familiar scents of our family filled my nostrils as I inhaled, sampling the air. Jasper was doing the same. There appeared to be nothing foreign; no danger in the air. That was good. However, my mother's scent was the most potent and the sound of running feet on grass echoed in my ears.
"Um, Esme," Alice called from inside the house. "Couldn't you have at least opened the door before running through it?" She giggled.
"Everyone saw that, right?" Emmett laughed his booming laugh. He too was inside the house.
"Yes, babe," Rosalie's voice came from inside the house, also. She sounded amused. "We saw her bust through the door."
Alice and Rosalie tittered and Emmett guffawed.
There was no time to sit and make sense of my siblings' words. A microsecond passed and Esme appeared next to my car. For whatever reason, she jumped in front of it! There my mother stood before us with a smile plastered on her face. It was creepy, a cross between a Cheshire cat's wide grin and IT the clown's wide creepy smile. For the first time that night I was grateful Bella did not accompany me. There was no doubt in my mind Esme would have frightened Bella. Hell! My mother's odd behavior was scary to me. Perhaps that was why I numbly watched as my mother ran along to the passenger's side and peeked in the backseat. Jasper and I exchanged a look but did not speak.
"Come here, Baby Child!" Esme excitedly shouted as she flung open the door. For unknown reasons she sounded like a southern bell more than she ever did before. If I had to guess I would have assumed she was from Tennessee. Even though I knew she was born and raised in Ohio.
Flashes of my mother's distorted face and that eerie smile ran from Anthony's mind to mine. He made no noise as he stared deadpan at the strange woman before him.
"Mom, what are you doing?" I wondered, shutting the car off. I wanted an answer for her peculiar behavior.
"Esme, are you feeling okay?" Jasper wondered.
At this point we were both standing by the cars' doors watching her. She was now holding Anthony's carseat in the crook of her arm at her side the way someone might hold a grocery basket. My son was craning his little neck, looking up at her. From the expression on his face, as well as his thoughts, I knew he was trying to figure her out. Good luck with that.
"It's cold out here," Esme announced, avoiding our questions. "This cute little one needs to be inside where it's warm. Toot-a-loo." She waved with her free hand.
She then turned on her heels and zoomed inside the house. I was frozen with my hand on the hood of my car, staring at where my mother and son had been a second ago. I was unable to process what had just happened.
"If I didn't know better," Jasper came up beside me, clapping his hand on my back. "I'd think your baby was kidnapped by an insane ninja."
It was obvious his words were meant to be a joke. But I did not laugh. Nor did I respond. Before either of us moved Carlisle pulled into the driveway and stopped behind my car. He cut the engine and got out.
"What is the meaning of all the lights and balloons?" My father asked my brother and I.
"Alice." Both of us answered in unison.
He nodded his head. "I should have assumed that was a possibility when she called me, telling me there was an emergency and I needed to rush home. So, what is going on?"
Jasper moved from my side. He opened the backseat and slung my son's luggage over his shoulder. "Baby Anthony is staying with us for a while. Emse just ran off with him, not even two seconds ago. You missed the show she put on." He explained with a laugh. Then he added, "I am going to take all this in the house." He was referring to the duffle bag, diaper bag, and the cooler full of breastmilk.
Taking in the sight of everything my brother held, my dead heart sank. Why did it appear that my son was moving in? Moving in without his mother. I shook that thought away.
"Bella and the baby are here?" My father asked me. There was a hopefulness in his golden eyes.
"Um, no." I answered slowly. "Bella's not here. She asked me to take him for a couple of days. Because he was spitting up the rabbit's blood he had been drinking. He spit up on my shirt. It was not a pretty sight. That's why Bella gave me her sweater to wear."
My father's eyebrows pulled together in a questioning way. Was he pondering why I appeared down? Or because he wondered why Bella did not come home with me? I was not sure, I could not read his mind due to Anthony's talent and reminded him of that.
"Right," he said. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. "You not being able to read minds will take some getting used to."
"That's for sure." I agreed.
"Well," He dropped his hand from my shoulder. "Since the baby is here, would it be okay if I gave him a check-up?"
"Of course." I nodded.
I gathered up the rest of the items in the backseat and both of us headed to the front porch. When we got there I had a better understanding of what that explosive sound was that Jasper and I heard earlier: The front door. It was completely gone. All that was left of it were the hinges and a few splinters.
"Emmett, how many times have I told you not to bulldoze through the door?" Carlisle grumbled under his breath.
"It was not Emmett." Alice called from the kitchen.
"Cannot blame me this time, Pops." Emmett laughed from somewhere in the living room as a balloon popped.
"Esme came down with a bad case of baby fever, more or less." Rosalie explained from the living room. There was humor in her tone.
Emmett inhaled. "Yup. Mama Esme went a little bit Looney Toons over the baby and broke the door like the Big Bad Wolf." He spoke in a high-pitched helium-induced voice.
There was laughter from my siblings. Everyone thought what Emmett said was hilarious. Everyone but me. My mother's behavior was concerning and not the least bit funny.
"Excuse me? She did what?" Carlisle asked, not understanding the obvious.
As he turned to me, Jasper called from upstairs. "This time mother broke down the door. Not Emmett."
Carlisle was shocked into silence. He stood at the threshold, staring ahead while I was behind him. He was blocking my entrance and I was glad. The foyer and what I could see of the living room looked hideous. There were blue and pink streamers falling from the ceiling and a ton more balloons everywhere. There were also decorations and signs all over reminding us that my baby was a boy. This appeared to be a party of some sort.
"Sorry dear, I got a little excited about meeting this little one." Esme glided out of the kitchen and over to us. She had my son cradled in her arms the way an athlete would hold a football. Despite having only met her a few minutes ago, Anthony appeared very comfortable with his grandmother.
"Well, is he not the most adorable baby in the world?" My father moved from the threshold. He went right over to my mother. I watched as he reached out to my son. For some weird reason he felt the need to pinch Anthony's cheeks.
My parents stood in the foyer doting over my baby as they acted rather strange. Esme was still speaking in that odd southern bell way, while my father was making goofy faces and talking baby talk. The way he spoke made his English accent more pronounced. Both of my parents were acting weirder than they normally did as they admired my son. All the while, Anthony was eating up the attention. He understood more than the average newborn and was learning which coos and growls earned more affection.
Within seconds all four of my siblings joined us at the entrance of the house. Everyone welcomed my son to the family as I placed the items I was holding on the floor. I went over and joined my family. Standing between Rosalie and Emmett I felt a strong hand slap my back.
"No DNA test needed." Emmett randomly announced. "That baby came from Eddie's nut sack."
I rolled my eyes and moaned. Could he be any more embarrassing?
"Emmett." My father reprimanded.
"Language." Esme covered Anthoy's ears.
Jasper laughed and Alice started talking about dressing up my son in new baby clothes. I tuned her out as Rosalie turned to me and wrapped me in an excited embrace. The way she grabbed me - pinning my arms to my side - made it difficult to return the hug. It would also have been considered a threat if it were an outsider. But she was no outsider, that was for sure. This was Rose. Even though her title to me is sister, she has always been more of a second mother to me. It is the same with Emmett, he has always been more of a second father to me than an older brother. Perhaps it was due to them having been parents in their first lives that made them have more of a parental bond with me. Or perhaps it was because they met me at the lowest point in my existence and helped form me. Maybe that made our relationship different than theirs was with Alice and Jasper. Well, whatever it was, made this embrace comforting. Though all I was able to do was place my head on top of hers since my arms were pinned at my side.
"I cannot believe you're a father. Congratulations, little brother!" Rose squealed with delight. She could not contain her joy as she squeezed me.
"Thank you." I breathed as she released me.
"I never thought you would be the first one in our family to have a baby. He's precious." She beamed.
Her words were like a hot knife through butter; they stung. Going by human years, I was the youngest one in the family. I should not have been the one to welcome a baby into the world, not before Emmett and Rosalie. After all, they had been trying to adopt with no luck. I opened my mouth to apologize, but before I could speak Rosalie did.
"Now listen, do not get all broody," She said, seeing right through me. She grabbed my hand in a motherly way. "Come with me, I want to show you what Emmett and I bought for the baby."
"Where are we going?" I asked as she dragged me away from the rest of the family. I heard Emmett move from the crowd and follow us.
"Upstairs to the baby's room." Emmett's tone insinuated the 'duh' cantation. "We stopped at IKEA and bought him a crib and a bassinet. Not to mention a rocking chair, changing table, and a dresser. It is the first and last time I will ever be doing that." He laughed sarcastically.
As we approached the stairs I looked over my shoulder at my oldest brother. "Why is that?"
"You tell me, Mr. Know-it-all," He joked, poking a finger playfully into my back.
"Knock it off." I swatted his bulky finger away as Rose let go of my hand. "And don't call me Mr. Know-it-all, it's offensive."
"Why is that?" He questioned, his tone was full of amusement. "After all, you can read my mind. Nothing is ever a secret with you around."
"No." I shook my head. "Due to Anthony's talent, I cannot read your mind anymore than Alice could see the future or Jasper could feel your emotions."
"Ah! So you can hear no evil, Alice can see no evil, and Jazz can feel no evil." He chuckled. Clearly he found his play on words to be humorous.
I scoffed at his lame joke. It was not funny.
Rosalie's blond hair bounced as she turned to me. "Well, since you cannot see the disaster from our minds, let me put it this way. An IKEA crib and baby furniture are more complicated to put together than building a car from starch. It's not very fun, but thankfully we survived."
"Just barely." Emmett added.
"But we did it." Rose turned around as we approached the last step. Her eyes found his, conveying so much emotion without saying anything.
"Yes." He sighed, sounding exhausted. "But there is an endless supply of Allen Wrenches on the kitchen table along with a few 100 unneeded screws. There's so many I could make jewelry out of them." He spoke sarcastically, then in a sincere tone he added, "Oh! I see a new hobby in my future."
"Please don't." She sounded a bit terrified.
The way they spoke to each other made me suspect they argued when assembling the crib and other items. It was not any of my business and therefore, I did not ask.
"Ready, Eddie?" Rose asked when we arrived at the bedroom next to mine. She reached out for the knob.
"Sure." I shrugged a lazy shoulder.
At the same time my sister turned the doorknob, Emmett began to sing Take me Out to the Ball Game. The door opened, revealing the transformation of the empty guest room. It was now a nursery decked out in baseball gear. From the wallpaper to the rug on the floor, the curtains, and even the bedding, as well as the mobile on the crib all had one thing in common. It was a team logo; the Chicago Cubs.
My two oldest siblings knew me well. They knew how to decorate a room for my son that would earn my nod of approval.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
A/N: There will be a one-shot outtake for this story told from Bella's POV to explain her side of things. The title is Golden Eyes and will be published as its own story. It will be up shortly, so be on the lookout for it. :)
