Tasha's presence is sticky and suffocating. The knowledge of her feelings towards me sets me on edge, and I know she'll be watching me, checking up on how we interact. Something in her expression makes me wonder yet again if her interest is purely professional. But that's not my concern right now. I just need to do my job and get out.
"You sure Roza?" Dimitri asks, proffering his glass once more. "We've got plenty to celebrate."
I almost wince as he uses my nickname in front of Tasha, but manage to control my face. Hers however, tightens into a fake smile. I try to keep my cool, pulling together a blank mask of professionalism. Dimitri is completely oblivious to the tension, I realise. In the upheaval of the Mason situation, I never actually got the chance to tell him about Tasha's coffee ambush. And I can hardly do it now, not with her watching us so closely.
"No thank you, Mr Belikov," I respond. "I'd like to just pack away your equipment so I can help the rest of the crew."
That seems to bring him up short. It's clear that my cool response has confused him, and I try to meet his eyes without emotion. The hurt that I see in them causes a twinge of pain in my own chest, and I want to crack a smile to reassure him. But I also really don't want to give Tasha any more ammunition.
"Okay," he says after way too long a silence. Then he nods, as though trying to convince himself. "Of course."
Dimitri pulls his shirt over his head without ceremony, and I school my features back into that professional mask. As I move around to his back, I see Tasha openly admiring him from her corner.
"Wow, Dimka," she says with a laugh that raises my hackles, "that new coach is really paying off. I'll have to send him a card."
I cannot punch his manager in the face, I tell myself. But maybe I should call for a mop to clean up her puddle of drool. And then use it to hit her upside the head.
No. I'm a professional.
Dimitri doesn't respond beyond an eyeroll. I don't understand how it doesn't make him uncomfortable, but then again I don't know much about their relationship. I just need to get out of here, so I do my best to remove the tape from his skin without actually touching him.
"Hey," he grabs my hand suddenly as I move to the strip at the back of his shoulder. "Are you getting me back for the soundcheck thing? You don't have to rip them off so fast."
"Sorry," I reply. When he lets my hand go, I lift a corner of the piece before slowly peeling it back. "Better?"
"Thank you."
I nod and move to the longer piece by his ribs.
"What happened during soundcheck?" Tasha interjects.
Luckily I've already ducked my head behind Dimitri so she can't see my face. Throwing some caution to the wind, I give him a light warning pinch near his waist, out of Tasha's line of sight. I feel him tense in response.
"I fired Ashford."
"Again Dimka?" Tasha sighs. "I thought you liked this crew. I was hoping you'd have him on your tour."
The tape comes away and I add it to the growing ball of strips in my other hand. Before proceeding, I carefully unclip his mic pack from his belt and start putting it back in its case. I have to suppress the flashbacks from when I put it on, so I'm happy to have the excuse to turn my back.
"I don't see the point of a tour, Tash."
"I've told you before, you need to take advantage of this momentum."
Dimitri makes a noncommittal huff that seems to irritate her.
A pause follows, then she says sweetly, "I'm sure Rose would agree."
My shoulders tense as I'm dragged into a conversation that isn't any of my business, but I keep my eyes trained on the zipper in front of me while I close the case. I'm almost done. I just need to wrap the cables after taking off one last piece of tape. But when I turn around to do just that, I find both of them are looking at me expectantly.
I slowly meet Dimitri's eyes.
"She's right. Your last couple of performances have roused a bunch of hype. I think your fans appreciate you being real with them."
He seems to consider my words, at least. But what I don't tell him, what I can't tell him while Tasha's here, is how the thought of him leaving makes me want to curl in a ball with a glass of something stronger than I currently have in my house.
Tasha is grinning at me like we're friends and I'm on her side, but I have no interest in continuing this game of hers. I'm suddenly very tired, and I still have to drive all the way home once we're done.
Dimitri's looking pensive.
"I'll think about it," he says as I finally pull the cable off his skin and quickly roll it up.
"Excellent!" Tasha replies. "I've already drawn up a draft schedule for you to look over. Let me just go grab my laptop."
"Okay, I'm finished up here," I say to Dimitri as Tasha leaves the room. "Is there anything else you need?"
He looks intently at me. "Yes actually. I need to know if you're okay."
I look over at the door to make sure it's closed. And when I look back at him, the weight of the day seems to land on me all at once, and I find myself replying past a lump in my throat.
"It's been a long day."
Without hesitation, he pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around me. It doesn't even occur to me to resist. His touch is like a balm on the scrapes of the past 24 hours.
"It has," he replies softly into my ear. "But you really were amazing."
I let out a shaky laugh and take a breath, taking a moment to appreciate the warm smell of him. He's still shirtless, and if I had a little more energy, I'm sure the knowledge that I'm currently wrapped around his bare chest would do more than just bring me this comforting sense of safety.
I feel his hand on my hair. He's reached up and is gently stroking the back of my head. It causes my chest to feel warm and floaty, like someone is filling me with helium.
"I really should go," I mumble into his skin, despite the fact that I could happily stay in the circle of his arms forever. "I have to help pack up before the drive home."
He pulls back enough to look me in the eye. As his face comes into view, I can see his disapproving frown.
"You're driving all the way back? This late?"
I smile at his concern. "Well yeah. I don't have any other options."
He definitely doesn't look happy about it, and it's very sweet. But it's also unnecessary. This is far from my first rodeo.
"It's not like there'll be any traffic," I assure him. But despite my words, I feel warm all over knowing that he cares about my safety.
He isn't satisfied.
"Mmmmm. But it's also dark and you're tired."
"Well yeah," I admit. "But that's also nothing new. I'll have some coffee before I go."
He opens his mouth to respond, but I hear footsteps outside. Swiftly stepping away, I snatch up the cables and the equipment cases. He looks at me in askance for a solid few seconds before Tasha bursts back through the door.
"Oh good," she says, "You've cleared some space."
She sets her laptop up on the counter that my equipment just vacated.
"Yes," I respond in a carefully neutral tone. "I'll be clearing up in the venue if you need me."
"I doubt it."
Dimitri is looking at her, finally seeming to realise that her presence is the cause for my reticence. But the confusion is still evident on his face as he tries to figure out the reason.
"See here, Dimka," Tasha's busy saying, drawing his attention to the screen. I hurriedly take my leave, closing the door behind me with a sigh of relief.
As promised, I head back out onto the stage to help pack up. Gerry spots me almost immediately, and makes his way over.
"Here," he says simply, pressing a wonderfully warm takeout cup of coffee into my spare hand.
"My hero," I say with a tired smile.
I set the kit bags in the pile with everything else that's already been packed away and take a long drink of the blessed caffeine.
I spot the stands and microphones that I need to return tomorrow, and make sure to separate them from the rest of the pile. That reminds me, I need to get that autograph for the guy's daughter. But Tasha will probably still be there for a while.
I help pack up a few more things, ripping up tape markers and adding the discarded strips to a growing pile of trash. But the teardown seems to be running far more smoothly than the setup did, so I find myself heading back towards Gerry.
"What's happening with the desk?" I ask, watching the team zip it back inside its bag.
Gerry grunts. "I'll have to drive it back tomorrow."
"Leave it with me then. I have to return that equipment to the shop. No point in both of us driving all this way again."
He hesitates, but I can see that it's an appealing offer.
"Seriously," I press. "Give me the name and address, I'll get it back to your contact with thanks."
Gerry still isn't sure, he shoots me a look. "You're going all the way home tonight?"
I roll my eyes. "Yeah but you know I-"
"No, she'll be staying in town tonight."
Gerry's eyebrows raise as he tries to hold back his laughter at what, I'm sure, must be quite the expression on my face. Behind me, Dimitri is probably looking just as entertained, having caught me thoroughly by surprise.
"Then sure," Gerry says with a twinkle in his eye. "In fact, I'm sure Mr Belikov will help you load the desk into your car. As I said before, you're welcome to leave us to pack away, considering all the setup you did."
"Great," Dimitri responds smoothly, already swooping in to grab the mixer case in question.
I glare at both of them for a moment, though it doesn't seem to have the slightest effect.
Then I concede. "Fine. I have to take these stands back anyway."
I drain the last of my coffee and set the cup down. Then, grabbing the necessary bags and ignoring the enormous grin on Gerry's face, I give a final wave to the room in general and recieve a few goodbyes from scattered members of the crew.
"This way," I say to Dimitri over my shoulder, leading him down to the level where I parked.
And when the equipment is stacked in the back of my marginally shitty little Nissan, I round on Dimitri.
"What the fuck was that?"
He smiles in a way that suggests he knows just how easily he can get himself out of trouble, kicking my heartbeat up a few notches.
"Tasha's gone, but you left before I was done talking to you. And," he adds as I angrily open my mouth, "You've had a really long day, you're clearly exhausted. I'm genuinely worried about you driving back all that way tonight."
The crease between his eyebrows emphasises his concern, and effectively removes some of the heat from my response.
"Still, you didn't think you should discuss this with me first?"
"Well you didn't really give me the chance."
I exhale in a huff, trying to channel some of my frustration.
"Please, Dimitri. I'm fine to drive."
His deep brown eyes appraise me, that ever present smile suggesting I'm missing some joke. Then he leans towards me, shifting the tone of our conversation.
"Maybe you are," he concedes softly. "But. Maybe my motives aren't entirely selfless."
At this point my back is flat against my car, and Dimitri's close enough that his gorgeous face fills my entire field of vision. The sight of him above me makes my chest feel deliciously heavy, like I need more air than my lungs can take in.
"Okay," I breathe. "So then what did you have in mind?"
"I have a room at the hotel nearby."
My heartbeat skips, sending a thrill through my body. I try my best not to be too obvious as I swallow.
"I could get you a room," he offers. "Or I could sleep on the couch. Whatever you're comfortable with."
He's fucking adorable, trying not to imply anything or offend me in any way. And maybe I would think twice about it if I hadn't basically begged him to kiss me, if we hadn't had that charged moment in his dressing room. If he hadn't admitted that he cares for me earlier. But our cards are mostly on the table now, and I know what will happen if I take him up on his offer. I know what I want to happen.
That's not what makes me hesitate.
At the moment, he's basically my boss. I've just gone through this scandal with Mason, am I really going to jump into the next? Then there's his tour. He's likely going to leave for multiple months sometime soon, hopping all over the country. And I need to set up somewhere else because Mason sent a bulldozer through the first few storeys of my reputation. And then, on top of all of that, Dimitri has said very clearly that he doesn't date.
Am I really going to risk everything for one night with him?
The sudden sound of a car across the lot makes me jump, and I realise just how out in the open we are here. It's far too risky, anybody could overhear us or take a picture. As though sharing my unease, Dimitri backs up and looks away from me, allowing me to collect my thoughts. I shove my hands in my pockets to stop myself from reaching for him.
Despite my confusion, one thing is clear: we really need to talk and we can't do it here.
"Okay then, let's go," I say quietly.
His eyes light up, but he's careful to let nothing else show on his face. I notice his hands mirror my own, and wonder if it's for the same reason.
"We'll come back for your car tomorrow."
I nod. "Thank you."
We head back to the front of the building where a car picks us up.
"For security," Dimitri tells me.
Something in the air between us has shifted, and neither of us is willing to break the resulting silence in front of the driver. My mind is silently churning, anxious about the impending conversation. Though he's in the seat right next to me, he may as well be miles away.
One way or another, things between us will never be the same again. And part of me wonders if I shouldn't rather have risked the drive.
Author's Note
Thank you so much for reading! And for your patience waiting on this update. I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a review if you'd like to share. I also don't have a frequent posting schedule, so if you'd like to keep in the loop, please feel free to follow and favourite!
Life kind of happened all at once again. I find things tend to either be on or off, never a steady drip. But then I suppose that's adulting. Hopefully the next update won't take as long.
The VA universe and the characters therein are the sole intellectual property of Richelle Mead.
