Chapter 9

Clementine was dreaming. She had to be, for what she was seeing could no longer be witnessed in the waking world. The man standing at the top of the stairs with the same disbelieving expression on his face that she felt on her own couldn't be there. Kenny was dead, Crista and Omid had said so. He had died two years ago in an alleyway in Savannah with Ben.

She had felt deep sorrow at the news and had grieved almost as deeply for Kenny as she had for Lee. Kenny had been kind to her and had cared for her well-being almost as much as that of his own son and wife. She had cared greatly for him to, so much so that she hadn't been able to bring herself to burn that silly picture she had drawn of him, Katjaa and Duck when she needed something dry to feed their dying camp fire. Like the torn picture of Lee, it was the only thing she had left to remind her of him.

Clementine was vaguely aware that Ellie was trying to talk to her, but Clem wasn't paying any attention to anyone but the man that looked like Kenny.

"Clementine?!"

Clem's heart almost stopped in her chest when she heard him say her name. The man before her looked different from the Kenny she knew. His face was more lined, and his hair, long beard and mustache had gone grey. But for all the changes to his appearance his voice was the same familiar one she had heard so many times in the past. She felt her lower lip start to tremble and tears well up in her eyes. This wasn't a dream, or a hallucination brought on by grief she realized then, this was real. Kenny was alive, and he was standing there right in front of her.

She tried to speak, but the lump that had formed in her throat made the words unintelligible. She rushed up the stairs and launched herself at him. Her arms wrapped around him and she buried her face into the warm fabric of his shirt. She felt her hat fall of her head, but at the moment she couldn't have cared less about it. Her finger clutched onto his green jacket and gripped it tightly, afraid that if she let him go, he would disappear.

After several choking breaths, she managed with great effort to swallow the lump obstructing her vocal cords and say, "I thought you were dead."

She unburied her face and looked up. Kenny was smiling down at her; a tear trickling down his left cheek into his beard. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back and went down on one knee so that their eyes were leveled. He raised his hands from her shoulders and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

He reached down and picked up her fallen hat. His eyes became distant as he studied her father's battered old baseball cap. "You still wearing this dirty old thing, huh?" He chuckled, and his smile broadened. He placed the cap back on her head. "There, back where it belongs."

Clementine couldn't stop herself from smiling at that. They shared that smile for a few seconds before Kenny's attention moved to the group and his face grew serious. "Clem, do you vouch for these people? Can they be trusted?"

"Yeah, they saved my life and took me in when I had nowhere to go," Clementine answered without a hint of hesitation. She looked down upon the group of people that she had come to know and care for. She saw some of the tension leave the members of the cabin group. The corner of Luke's mouth turned upward into a small smile. "I trust them."

Kenny nodded and stood up. "Well, that's good enough for me."

With those words the air of tension that had been in the room dissipated. Matthew clapped his hands together and smiled. "Well…now that that's settled, who's up for the grand tour?" He headed up the stairs and gestured for the others to follow. "And after that dinner."

"You'll have to wait a bit longer for that Matty," the woman, Sarita, said. "Walter hasn't started making dinner yet."

"I better get to it then," Walter said with a wide smile. "Please everyone, make yourselves at home. You can leave your weapons and backpacks over there." Walter gestured towards the corner by the door to the restrooms.

"The hell we will," Rebecca replied, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Yeah, I'm holding on to my gun, thanks," Nick said.

"You're our guests here," Walter said with a calm reassuring tone.

"Then tell him to put his down," Ellie said and jabbed her thumb in Kenny's direction.

"Kenny," Walter said.

Kenny's mouth twisted into an annoyed frown, but he walked over and put his rifle down in the corner. Matthew quickly followed his example. Seeing this Luke did the same and the others followed a second later. In less than a minute all backpacks and guns had been placed in the corner, though Clementine noted that although Ellie had put down her backpack along with her bow and guns, she did not leave the knife Clem knew she kept in her right pocket. She didn't say anything about it though. She doubted Ellie would actually use it unless her life was in danger, something that seemed very unlikely at the moment.

"Now then, let's get on with the tour," Matthew said and waved for them to follow. "First stop the sleeping area. It's upstairs, this way."

"I'll stay here if you don't mind," Pete said. He had sat down by one of the two tables Clementine assumed the lodge's inhabitants used when they ate dinner. There placement reminded her a bit of the lunchroom at school. "I need to rest my feet."

"No problem old man. You can keep Walter company," Matthew said. "I warn you though, he'll talk your ears off if you're not careful."

"As I used to tell my students, I'm merely sharing my knowledge with those that are willing to listen," Walter said. "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." His eyes roamed the room expectantly.

"I have heard that one before," Matthew said, rolling his eyes.

"So have I," Pete said. "One of the founding fathers, right?"

"Benjamin Franklin," Walter answered with a smile.

"Right," Matthew said, drawing out the word. "Those of you who don't want a history lesson come with me."

With that said Matthew moved towards the stairs by the Christmas tree that led up to the balcony, the group trailing after him. Clementine was about to follow when Kenny laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and nodded towards the fireplace. It was clear to her that he wanted to talk to her alone. That was fine by her, she wanted to talk to him to.

As they sat down on the sofa, she took the opportunity to take a closer look at her surroundings. The place she noted was exceptionally clean, she guessed that they probably had a functional vacuum cleaner. The second thing was the enormous hearth whose fire crackled and burned merrily. This along with the small round table with the two armchairs on either side of it, the comfortable sofa she was sitting on and the Christmas decoration around her gave the place a very welcoming and relaxing atmosphere. She especially loved the porcelain duck on the small table next to the sofa. Someone had had the notion of placing a Christmas wreath around its neck and a small Santa cap on its head. It looked quite funny.

"This wouldn't be a bad place to sleep." She imagined the feeling of just lying down and watching the fire as she slowly drifted to sleep. "Not bad at all."

She returned her attention to Kenny who was still smiling jovially at her. There were a few seconds of silence between them in which the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the fire crackling, the groups muffled conversation upstairs and the music from the cd player.

"You know," Kenny said. "I half expected Lee to walk up next to you. You guys were like two peas in a pod."

Clementine felt her heart tighten at the mention of Lee's name. The smile on her face died and the joy she had felt up to that point evaporated and was replaced by loss. Kenny reacted immediately to her change in mood.

"Oh shit, I didn't mean to… It's just hard not to think about it, you know?"

Clementine nodded. Yes, it was hard not to think about it. How her foolish gullibility had gotten the man who she saw as a second father killed. If she had just listened to him like she had done so many times before he might still be alive now and sitting there with them. He would laugh and talk with Kenny. He would joke with her and smile that warm smile of his and call her sweet pea. The guilt she felt was so strong that she couldn't bring herself to look Kenny in the eyes.

"It was my fault," she said. She felt the beginnings of tears in her eyes and her throat choked with emotions.

"What?"

"I got him killed. It's my fault he's dead."

"Aw, darling, don't think like that. I know that ain't true. He made a choice just like the rest of us."

"But if I hadn't runaway…"

Kenny reached out and gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. There was no judgment in his eyes, only concern. "Listen to me darling. It wasn't your fault. You were only eight-"

"Nine," Clementine murmured.

Kenny ignored the correction. "And that psycho over the radio had gotten into your head."

Yeah, her head had been pretty messed up at the time. She had desperately wanted to find her parents, but the group had talked about leaving Savannah without even trying to find them. She had felt scared and betrayed by the people around her. The stranger- who had been a source of comfort to her during the group's darker days – had promised that he had them with him and she had foolishly believed him.

Seeing that this still didn't have the effect on her that he wanted, Kenny said, "I know that Lee would not want you to spend the rest of your life blaming yourself."

Clementine nodded weakly. No, Lee would not have wanted that. But even so, she doubted that she ever could completely stop blaming herself.

"He was one hell of a guy," Kenny continued, his tone somber but also admiring. He lowered his gaze and his face changed to one of sorrow and regret. "After Duck was bit and my wife… he took care of my son so that I wouldn't have to. I'll never forget that."

Clementine reached out her hand and laid it upon the back of his left. He turned his hand over so that they were palm to palm and gave her small hand a light squeeze. He raised his face and gave her a sad smile. There was a short silence between them before Kenny let go and withdrew his hand. He then asked the question that she herself had planned to ask him.

"So, where'd you end up?"

"I was with Crista and Omid. Omid… he…"

She closed her eyes as she remembered that horrible day and the look of shock and fear on Omid's face as he collapsed to the floor, his hands clutching his blood-stained shirt where the bullet had entered his chest. Another death she would never stop blaming herself for. She parted her lips and was about to finish the sentence, but when she opened her eyes, she stopped herself. It was clear from his expression that Kenny already knew what she had left unsaid, so instead she continued.

"I was with Crista until a week ago when we were attacked by bandits and got separated. I don't know if she's alive or dead. I met Ellie the next day, the girl with the freckles, she saved me from a wild dog." Clementine pulled up her sleeve so that he could see the scar. Kenny's eyes widened and he let slip a silent curse. "A few hours later we ran into Luke and Pete. They saved us from a bunch of walkers and took us in when they found out we were alone without a group."

"Sounds like it hasn't been easy for you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, darling. I wish I could have found you sooner, but I'm glad to hear that you found good people to take care of you. Now that you're here everything's gonna be fine."

"What about you? How did you get out of Savannah? Crista told me you were dead."

"I am," Kenny said. His face became dreamy and his tone unnaturally cheerful. "This is all a dream."

This sudden change in demeanor alarmed Clementine. She suddenly felt very uneasy in his presence and also more than a little afraid. Had the loss of his wife and son combined with all the other horrors he had seen driven him insane? Then Kenny started to chuckle, and the dreamy look was replaced by one of mischief and she realized that he was just messing with her. She frowned sourly at him, she did not like this kind of jokes.

"Sorry. Bad joke," Kenny apologized. He was still chuckling. "I got stuck in quite a pickle back there in Savannah. I was trapped in an alley and surrounded by walkers when I – god only knows why – tried to save that shitbird Ben. Guess Lee's good nature had rubbed off on me. I couldn't save the kid, but I managed to get out, though for a minute there it wasn't looking too good for old Kenny. Long story short, I got lucky. I spent a long time alone after that…it, uh…" Kenny's voice trailed off. He pressed his eyelids closed and his face became pained.

Clementine suddenly felt very bad for asking him what had happened. The first six month after the walkers showed up had been terrible for him and it had probably not been any easier for him right after Savannah. What painful memory had she forced him to remember with her question? Clementine didn't know and wasn't sure she wanted to.

The sound of several pairs of footsteps drew Clementine's attention to the stairs on her right. She half turned her head and saw Sarita, along with Sarah, Matthew, Luke and Nick descend the stairs. Sarah was bubbling with joy for some reason and bounced over to stand next to Clementine. She looked as excited as a child on Christmas.

Kenny must have heard them to for his eyes snapped open and his face lit up with joy when he saw Sarita. "Sarita! They settled in?" he asked her as she walked around the sofa to stand beside him.

"Yes," Sarita nodded. "You two catching up?"

"Yeah. Clem, this is my girl Sarita. Ain't she beautiful?"

"Always the charmer," Sarita said with a warm smile. She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Clementine had to agree with him. She was very beautiful, and she looked very kind too. Seeing the affection they had for one another made her smile. In that moment she felt very happy for Kenny. He had been through enough hardship for a lifetime, he deserved this.

"It's nice to meet you Clementine," Sarita said. She sat down on the table next to Clementine, leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "would you like to join me for a secret mission?"

"Secret mission?" Clementine repeated, her brow furrowed in uncertainty.

"We're gonna decorate the Christmas tree," Sarah blurted out. A childish grin on her face.

Clementine looked to the Christmas tree. Unlike the fake made of plastic her parents put out every Christmas this one was the real deal. It wasn't a small tree either, it was very tall, so tall in fact that it reached the banister on the balcony. Someone – Sarita probably – had already started decorating it but there was a lot left to do before it could even be considered finished. Clementine had always loved decorating the tree at home and was thus very tempted to accept Sarita's offer but hesitated for she also wanted to talk more to Kenny.

"That sounds like a great idea," Kenny said and got to his feet. "Go on darling, we can talk more later. Matthew and I need to go outside. We got a lot of supplies that needs to be brought in."

"Oh great, more work," Matthew said with a sarcastic smile. "Is there no rest for the weary."

"Quit complaining," Kenny said. "If you spent less time rooting around in the forest every day we wouldn't have to go outside now."

"Aye, aye captain grey beard," Matthew stood at attention and gave Kenny a salute. This got giggles from both Sarah and Clementine. Kenny just shook his head and watch Matthew head for the doors.

"Do you want help? We got nothing better to do," Luke offered. Behind him Nick nodded in agreement.

"Could always use a pair of extra hands," Kenny said. He rose to his feet and headed for the doors waving for the others to follow.

"Come on girls. We have a lot to do as well before dinners ready," Sarita said. Humming a Christmas tune, she led the two girls towards the boxes filled with decorations next to the tree.