Charlie's brain had gotten stuck on one particular word Alastor had said. Confused, she asked, "You want me to what?"

"Marry me!" Alastor said it cheerily, like it was some sort of natural consequence of some process only he knew.

"I, uhm…" Charlie giggled nervously, an eye narrowing in her feeling of cringe - for herself, her reaction, and the strange request Alastor made.

They were currently on the balcony of Charlie and Vaggie's room. It had been four years of work and toil, but the hotel was finally becoming a success. Now, when she looked out among her people, there was a small pulse of hope in the Pride Ring. In fact, she had been marveling at it when Alastor had appeared from his shadows.

Then, the favor.

Trying to make it sink in in a way that made sense, Charlie said slowly, "So you want the favor I owe you…to be me marrying you."

"But of course! Doesn't it make sense?"

No. It did not. Charlie blew a breath out and asked, "Why marriage? Why me ?"

Alastor's smile turned a little devilish as he said, "My dear, haven't you ever heard of a political marriage? It would be quite the boon to have the Princess of Hell by my side." Those words set her mind at ease. Okay, good. He wasn't interested in sex. She thought. Hadn't Rosie said he was an ace? He quickly changed her mind as he pinched her cheek and said, "Also, I must say I find your naive optimism rather endearing! It used to grate on me; now, watching you separate families and loved ones between Heaven and Hell and thinking it a kindness, I couldn't be more pleased!"

Charlie gave a couple of weak laughs. "Right…" She coughed as she tried spinning around him. "Well, I'll give it some thought and-"

She was stopped short, something around her neck pulling taut and making her fall backwards. Looking down, she realized there was a green collar around her neck. A chain led from her…to Alastor's hands.

" You don't have a choice ," Alastor said, his voice coming from both his shadow and his mouth. His horns had grown, green stitches all over his face, as a slightly crazed smile graced her presence. " We made a deal. Anything that isn't violent. You WILL marry me… " He pulled the chain, which caused a strange pain in Charlie's chest. Not even a blink later, he was back to being his normal self as he said, "It's almost as if you don't want to marry me!"

"Well…Vaggie…" Charlie said weakly. She'd been planning on proposing to Vaggie soon. The ring had been in her pocket for weeks. There hadn't been an opportunity.

"Ah yes. Your angelic partner. No, she mustn't stand in the way…" He said it darkly, and Charlie pictured Alastor trying to tear Vaggie apart with his tentacles. Then Alastor said something weirdly cheerfully. "Which is why I wish to marry her too! Or, at least, you two marry."

Charlie was struck dumb. "What?!"

"Oh goodness, Charlie, do you honestly think I would fulfill any marital duties such as exchanging fluids ? No, it simply would not do! The most I would do is consummating, and we both know we'd simply be going through the motions. Now, if your pretty little angel were involved, you and herself could engage in whatever carnal delights you wish!"

That…made sense. That made SENSE! Charlie could accept those terms, she wanted to marry Vaggie anyway! …as depressing as it was, Charlie really didn't have a choice. She could still feel where the chain laid against her flesh. Clinging to her hopes and dreams, she said, "Those terms seem…" She tried to be diplomatic. "...acceptable."

"Excellent! I knew you would see it my way!" Alastor laughed. Then, rolling the words off his tongue in schadenfreudian delight, he asked, "Now, how will you break the news to Vaggie?"

Charlie's gut sank. She confessed, "I don't know."

"Hm. Quite the dilemma." Alastor pretended to think before snapping his fingers. "I know! Engagements require rings, correct?"

Charlie's hand immediately went to her pocket where her own ring for Vaggie sat in its container. She answered, "Yes."

"In that case…" Shadows swallowed his hand. They condensed, writhing, until there were two black rings adorned with what was likely supposed to be horns. Alastor offered them to her. "Your engagement rings!" He tapped his cane against the stone underneath them and said, "It would greatly please me if you could put all the rings on at the same time. To really make it feel as if all the rings have equal weight!"

Did he know about the ring in her pocket? Sometimes it seemed like he read minds. Charlie nodded. She asked, "Could you leave me alone right now? I need to think."

"Of course! My bride should get to do whatever she pleases!" With that, Alastor sank into the shadows and slid through them and down the wall.

Charlie sighed, looking down at the two shadow rings. On impulse, she pulled out her ring and held all three of them in the palm of her hand. Her thumb traced along each one, the tips of the horns proving to be sharp.

She needed to find some of her enthusiasm. Some of her cheer. This wouldn't stop her, or Vaggie, or anyone! Right. This…wouldn't be bad. In fact, it might be good! Alastor would definitely stay. Charlie had been worried the last few months that he would leave. She wasn't a fool; his pleasure came from failure, and without the entertainment as more and more succeeded at Ascending she was aware that he might leave for something that brought him more of his twisted version of joy.

She ignored the idea that she would miss him almost the most, only lower than Vaggie on the totem pole. It was a strange little thing that barely earned the right to be thought.

Now… Charlie bit her lip. Now she needed to figure out how to break this to Vaggie. And her dad.