Chapter Eleven: Waiting for Love - Part II
Yes, Millicent was complex…
She was the child most like her Father who had inherited his sterling talents and traits, as well as his more dubious ones, both Father and Daughter being ambitious, impatient, even stubborn and obstinate when need be!
She was a doer, not a watcher; a leader, not a follower.
Professionally she got things done, and like her Father, she did them extremely well.
But at a huge personal cost…
To those outside looking in, the Bradford's life and world looked pretty perfect, almost as though it were a dream.
Yet with all the blessings of wealth, those who have it, know there are curses, difficulties, and even hardships, too.
Especially those with great wealth.
Nathan had known the Bradford Family better than anyone, practically growing up with them, and he also knew better than anyone their life and world were anything but perfect.
Being a Bradford meant living in the public eye front and center with each and every action minutely monitored, usually accompanied by derogatory scrutiny, that erroneously ended up making the front page of the newspapers!
Critical people judging you for your wealth and not your own self-actions, intent or motives, was an everyday occurrence.
The reporters seldom even tried to get the true story, because the conjecture and subsequent gossip were so much more enthralling! And that was what sold papers.
There was a total lack of privacy.
The family could never just do something because they were in the mood to do it, as literally, everything had to be planned ahead, for tight security was required twenty-four hours around the clock, seven days a week.
And it was a necessity, not a luxury, as sadly, there were daily threats on their Iives.
Their time was never their own, as it belonged to their many businesses and charities.
And because of that, it was extremely difficult to carve out family time, although the Bradfords somehow managed to do it, traveling back and forth to spend time with each other, working on the way!
But the list went on and on endlessly!
In spite of these things and possibly because of them, their family bond was uniquely strong.
They had to rely on each other instead of others.
For each of the Bradfords had learned to be discerning with their trust, as others were always trying to use them, their good name, or their money, for one reason or another.
In spite of it all, Millicent never complained, even to Nathan, except of course about her ever-present stifling security!
That, she complained to him about, loudly and clearly, because he understood it, and she did not.
"I just don't understand it! Why wouldn't a single guard be enough? If I have to have them at all! Nathan, they're everywhere. It's embarrassing. I can't even walk down the hall at work without seeing one of them! It's like they're babysitters and I hate it! Why can't I just be a normal adult?"
He had always listened and understood her conundrum, waiting to let her talk it out, then he would try to distract her and or encourage her because he knew her security team was a non-negotiable issue.
But what about her personal life?
Technically, Millicent was friends with everyone in her social scene. Everyone who was anyone knew her and she knew them. And they all loved her! But they were surface friendships, at best.
Not like Colleen and Nathan.
Her society friends were so different from her.
They were socialites who lived for extravagant parties, and an appearance in the paper's society page write-up to follow.
Millicent preferred being left out of the papers altogether, although that was never an option, as she was the one all the reporters clamored after!
While her friends were busy with Balls, Teas, and Fashion Shows, fawning over the latest fashion creations from Paris, she was pouring over important Court Cases with hard deadlines to be met, that impacted people's very lives, often determining whether a father or mother would be separated from their children and sent to prison, or a child would be taken from their parents and put into foster care.
Her cases were never simple nor easy, and they always tugged at the heartstrings.
Yet she was happy and fulfilled for the first time in her life, doing them, making a difference!
Surprisingly, even the men she had dated over the years, most also wealthy, some even famous, had ulterior motives.
With some, their ulterior motives had taken longer than others to discover, but they were always there.
It seemed their real focus was either proposing a gigantic new business venture with her Father footing the bill, of course, or digging for information hoping to invest in one of his many companies, rather than truly wanting just a relationship with her.
Or better than that, attempting to court her as a way to become part of the Bradford Family and their vast wealth, which was the ultimate desire of both young men and their wealthy families.
Yes, the young men found her to be gorgeous and desperately wanted her on their arm, as she was the biggest social catch of all.
Why, just to be seen with her opened doors for them, very impressive doors!
But still, they never took the time to get to know the real her, who she really was.
Sadly, not one single time, had it been solely about her.
Instead, they had unwittingly objectified her, as simply the gorgeous and wealthy woman on their arm, who was the prize.
Which made her feel less than, even invisible at times.
It had hurt, as it would have hurt any young woman with so much to give.
She had grown so weary of dating and always being disappointed, that without her realizing it, her 'dates' had just become friendly escorts for her social events, nothing more.
Until recently, when the young man she had spoken to Nathan about came into the picture.
She had had such high hopes.
But regrettably, he proved to be just like all the others.
Instead of general conversation and compliments or questions to get to know her better, he had asked her the following over their candlelit meal.
"Millicent, I was wondering if you're very knowledgeable about your Father's Steel Ventures? It's a particularly keen interest of mine, and I'd love to get to know Mr. Bradford better, as no one knows more than him about the Steel Industry. Perhaps he and I could work out a mutually beneficial working arrangement."
Millicent was in fact very well versed in her Father's steel endeavors, for reasons this young man would never know, but she was not about to share that information!
"Louis, look at me. Do I look like I spend my days studying the Steel Industry?"
And she left it at that.
As if that hadn't been enough, she later found out via a joint social acquaintance, her 'date' had invested heavily into her Father's Steel Company and was looking for insider pointers!
She had also found herself comparing him to Nathan throughout the evening, and he was coming up very short, even before his miscalculations!
It was because of both these things, the much-awaited date had failed miserably with a thud!
But this time, instead of being painful, the loss struck Millicent as being hysterically funny.
She realized she didn't want him anyway!
Essie climbed the grand staircase and quietly knocked then entered Millicent's bedroom.
"Miss Millicent, yoohoo! Where are you so deep in thought?"
"Essie! I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there."
"Well, you may wish you hadn't because you're about to get an earful! I simply don't understand this working all day and into the night every day! It is Saturday, you know, and it's already seven o'clock! Besides you've worked like a demon all week long, with not a single night at home!"
"Essie, you know I had to work. Hendrix lectured me yesterday when I got home. And if you must know, so did Albert in the car! Doing this bit of work today was the only way I could clear my schedule and be with Nathan. So, all in all, it was a very small price to pay!"
"Well, wonders never cease! Finally, you're doing something for yourself! And it's about time! But with all this going on, I think it's ridiculous for you to go to this charity ball tonight, Miss! Do you absolutely have to go?"
Millicent looked at her beautiful red ballgown, laid out across her elegant bed, ready for her to slip into to make a 9 P.M. entrance, realizing it was the very last thing she wanted to do on this particular Saturday night.
"Nathan's going to be here tomorrow, and I've still got to plan our week! Plus, I'm so excited, it's hard to concentrate!"
"Of course, you're excited, Miss! Why even Hendrix and I are positively over the moon - our Babies are finally together!"
Millicent hugged Essie, knowing how much she loved them both.
"This is just all so very remarkable, isn't it? Best friends to finally realizing we're in love! After all this time, I can hardly believe it myself. I was afraid I'd lost him forever, Essie. He was truly in love. For the very first time. And she was beautiful. I even liked her. But it was very complicated and he was treated so horribly, it broke my heart. I honestly didn't know what his decision would be, though. I don't think he knew either. Quite frankly, it could have gone either way. A much different way…remember, I wasn't even an option."
Essie noticed the intense pain in Millicent's far-away eyes, as she spoke those words.
"If I know my Master Nathan, you were the only option, Miss! Even though he might not have known it yet. My, I do believe you've loved him forever, Child! And I do believe he's loved you forever, too! Maybe it just took a tragic brush with love, a heartbreak, if you will, for you both to figure it out. But, now that that's done - don't dwell on the past. Just love him, Miss Millicent, the best you know how and move forward into your beautiful future together! Show him what true love really is!"
"That's pretty great advice, Essie! You know the last thing I want to do tonight is to go to yet another ball. All I want to do is think about Nathan, take a hot bath, and talk with you and Hendrix about our week over dinner! I should deserve at least one night off. Shouldn't I? Nathan's visit is just too important. It means everything to me. And technically I'm not on the program to speak tonight. That's it! I'm not going, Essie! I'm staying home!"
"It's a miracle," exclaimed Essie as she quickly hung the gown back up before Millicent had a chance to change her mind, and handed her robe to her, instead. "Thank you, Lord!"
"I'll go draw your bath now. You sit there at your dressing table and dream about Master Nathan!"
Millicent laughed.
"Essie, he's not twelve years old any longer. He's a grown man!"
"Not in my eyes, he's not! He'll always be Master Nathan to me!" she called back as she passed through the door of Millicent's bath. "Just as you'll always be Miss Millicent!"
Alone with her thoughts, Millicent grew serious.
'Essie's right. I have loved this man my entire life. Subconsciously, I've compared every man I've ever dated, to him, and not a single one has ever begun to measure up! But this just feels so surreal - I can't believe this is actually happening!'
She had played his words over a hundred times in her mind, marveling at them, even writing them down in her journal, so they would always be in her heart exactly as he had spoken them to her.
"This is really happening!" she cried aloud! "It really, really is!"
Millicent took down her fancy French Chignon for the Charity Ball and absent-mindedly twisted her hair back up onto the top of her head for her bath.
'How can I feel so deliriously ecstatic! I didn't even know it was possible to feel this exhilarated! And yet there's just this peace, too, like I'm finally home! Like this is so very right.'
It was then Millicent realized an extraordinary thing for the very first time in her life.
'I have always been 'in love' with Nathan Grant. It's always been, Nathan! I didn't just love him. I was 'in love' with him all this time!'
'How could I not know that?'
She looked at Nathan's photo and spoke aloud as if he were there with her.
"Nathan Alexander Grant, when I left you in Hope Valley on that Stagecoach, it hurt so badly. Worse than ever before! I was so afraid for some reason, and you know that's not at all like me! Even though there was nothing concrete between us, except our friendship, deep inside I felt as though I was leaving the possibility of us behind forever. And I wasn't even sure what that meant! I don't know what made you see us, but I do know God was in it. He had to be, and I will spend the rest of my life thanking Him and loving you as much as is humanly possible!"
She picked up the silver oval photo frame, Nathan and Allie had given her.
Millicent had placed it where she could best view it, even from her bed.
"How I adore you! I miss you with all my being. Looking back, it has truly always been you, and only you. Always!"
And her heart did an absolute flip.
"You, Nathan and Allie, are now my life! My home. With you two, I'll find my way…I won't know everything. I might not even know anything. You'll have to help me, and maybe even teach me, but I will find my way as both a Wife and Mother. You are my Family, now. The Family I've always dreamed of, and amazingly, you were right here all along!"
She lovingly kissed their photo, a kiss for Nathan and another for Allie, then gently set the frame back down in its perfect spot.
She had always missed Nathan, but after spending two weeks with Allie, she desperately missed Allie, too!
She was such a beautiful, bright, spunky child, and Millicent, being quite cerebral and spunky herself, when the occasion demanded it, loved that in her.
She also saw so many parts of Colleen in Allie, that there had instantly been a deep bond, and the more time they had spent together, they couldn't help but become deeply attached to each other.
Millicent just wanted to wrap the child in her own arms for both herself and Colleen, making everything she could, all right for Allie!
She also adored that the three of them loved fishing and riding. Millicent couldn't wait to teach Allie fly fishing, something she and Nathan had always loved to do together, and she could just see the three of them riding together!
The photo they had given her meant the world to her, and it had from the moment Nathan had handed it to her. She had wanted one so badly of them but had hated to ask. Never in a million years, had she dared hope the photo she was given would turn into this!
Her Family!
In fact, she had feared the opposite, although she had never said a word either way.
She had done nothing to influence his decision, except to help him think clearly.
And quite honestly, deep inside, she thought he would take Elizabeth back.
She had even tried to prepare herself for that very thing happening, knowing she had no right to be upset.
But, thankfully, it had turned into this, and this shocking turn of events was everything!
Deep in her heart, she knew this was meant to be for all three of them!
She and Nathan were meant to be a Couple.
And she, Nathan, and Allie were meant to be a Family.
"Being in love and being able to admit it to the person you love feels absolutely glorious," she whispered aloud, remembering the phone call from Nathan last night. "It felt and feels glorious!"
She hugged herself in jubilation and spun around her bedroom floor!
"You're bath's ready, Ma'am!"
"You know, Essie, as fearless as I am, and please don't lecture me as Father does about me being too gutsy, I'm a little scared about how Nathan and I will be when we first see each other! This will be so very different for us!"
"I only lecture you about your boldness and bluntness when it gets you into trouble! You're too fearless and that feistiness of yours with all your causes is going to get you into trouble one day! I worry, Miss Millicent. The world is not made up of compassionate people like yourself, and someday that sheer gutsiness of yours, fighting for everyone coming and going, is going to find you in the wrong place at the wrong time! Mark my words!"
Essie continued more softly.
"As for you and Master Nathan, together, you've known each other since childhood. You've even loved each other since childhood. This new love you're about to embark on, this love between a man and a woman, it's just an extension of the love you already have for each other. And it's the most special love of all. It's already there, Miss. Not a thing to worry about. It will just all happen naturally - and beautifully," she emphatically added. "You two just need to relax and let nature take its course!"
Millicent threw her arms around Essie.
"You always say exactly what I need to hear! How do you do that, Essie?"
"Well, it is my job to take care of you, Miss! So, after all these years, if I don't know what you need by now, I've made a pretty big mess of things. But more importantly, I love you, Child, like my own. Now get in this bath before it gets cold!"
"I love you, too, Essie!"
Millicent stepped into her bath, as Essie stepped out.
"Oh, Estella, let's all eat in the kitchen tonight!" she called after her.
"Yes, Miss! I'll get dinner ready. We'll have a good time, all together, getting ready for Master Nathan!"
Millicent shook her head and smiled, as Nathan would probably always be Master Nathan to Essie, at least until she saw his large frame!
Millicent then sank down into the hot water with bubbles everywhere.
"Oh to relax…" she uttered. "In pure joy, for the first time ever in my life!"
As the water engulfed her, Millicent could feel the waves of joy and peace roll over her.
All these new feelings, along with their intensity, just kept growing: excitement, exhilaration, happiness, joy, and peace!
This was love…and it was gloriously euphoric!
For the first time in her life, she was completely in love and her heart could no longer be contained!
There were no worries about what was to come.
Perhaps there should have been concerns, but there just weren't.
Although both knew there were very serious issues to discuss and resolve, she had no doubt the two of them would work everything out together!
She would be with Nathan and it didn't matter to her where that was, as long as Allie was happy.
As long as the three of them were together!
Millicent closed her eyes and prayed aloud in earnest over the one thing that might possibly, and even most probably, would be an ordeal for Nathan to tunnel through.
"Please, Dear God, please don't let the money be a stumbling block for Nathan. Please help him see my heart and let him know we can get through anything as long as we're together. Please help him to know love isn't about money. It's about each of our hearts. And he is the one who is in my heart. The only one who has ever been in my heart. Please give me the wisdom to say the right words when we have this inevitable discussion. And please keep his heart open to truly receive the words. I can't bear the thought of ever losing him. Please give him strength and understanding, along with wisdom, to put this massive elephant in the room into perspective, as You would have him see it. I'm placing my trust in You and in him. In full faith, Amen!"
Millicent got out of her bath feeling completely free for the first time, having placed the one thing she feared most into God's Hands.
She quickly grabbed her nightgown, threw on her robe, and slid into her slippers, heading downstairs for a late dinner.
She danced down the stairs with that radiant smile still plastered on her face, imagining his leathery, woodsy scent she loved so much.
Then practically skipped into the kitchen.
"Estella, Hendrix what shall we eat? I can rustle us up…"
"We've got everything ready, Miss. Estella said you wished to eat here in the kitchen?"
"Yes, Hendrix! This looks great!"
"Just leftover Chicken Divan warmed up from last night, and a fresh Salad, Miss! Let me get the wine."
"Essie, do I smell your homemade Rolls?"
"Just about to come out of the oven, Miss! A couple more minutes. There's home-churned butter too."
"Shall we say Grace?"
The two joined Millicent at the table and gathered hands.
"Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for the meal about to be set before us. And we ask your blessings on the two who prepared it! We also ask You to keep Nathan safe in his travels to us, and we want to thank you for his visit. We are so very grateful for it. And I want to personally thank You for our coming together. It means the world to me! Our hearts are full of gratitude. Help us to show him our love and make this feel like his home as well as ours. Amen!"
Both Estella and Hendrix followed with loud Amens!
Hendrix poured their White Wine, then served the Chicken Divan and Salads, as Essie got out the piping hot Yeast Rolls, and they both sat back down to eat.
"Dinners in the kitchen are the absolute best!" declared Millicent.
"Yes, Miss. we let you talk us into them more than we should allow, but they're always so enjoyable, we can't help ourselves!" smiled Hendrix. "They've become somewhat of a Saturday night tradition!"
"Tell us about Master Nathan! Has he changed much," begged Essie.
"Essie, only more handsome with every year! I don't know how, but that man just keeps getting better and better looking! When is the last time you both saw him?"
"My, it's been at least 4 years!"
"He's the same wonderful person, Hendrix, and I understand he's doing quite well in his position. They wanted to promote him to Inspector, which is the position he's always wanted, but he turned it down for Allie. I still believe something will work out. I've even prayed for something similar since he told me about it. Without him knowing, of course. I just believe the perfect job is going to come to him. He's been so selfless, yet he doesn't even see it that way. He didn't even think of staying and giving up his dream as a sacrifice. So, yes, he's just as remarkable as ever! And I love him more than I ever thought possible!"
"Because it's true love, Miss, it's boundless," declared Hendrix. "You know, you two always did go together!"
"He never once complained when people thought we were a couple at all those Balls, and I certainly wasn't going to complain," laughed Millicent.
"Have you thought about your future?" asked Essie.
"I'm alright with anywhere he is! But no, we haven't talked about it - we've just had the one phone call and planned our trip back to Hope Valley. You see, he hopped on the early train that very morning! And if he was as excited as I was, he didn't get much sleep! Plus he had to pack! Poor Baby!"
"See there you go - if you can call Master Nathan Baby, we can call him Master Nathan!"
"You just wait, Essie, you just might change your mind when you see all 6 foot, 3 inches of him!" laughed Millicent.
"Why, Miss, do you realize you're blushing just talking about him?" asked Hendrix.
Millicent quickly drew her hand to her cheek.
"Oh no, what if I do that in front of him?"
"He'll think it's adorable, Miss! But Estella and I have discussed it and wherever you two end up, we will be there for you!"
"That's lovely, you two," although Millicent wasn't at all sure how Nathan would explain a Butler and a Maid in Hope Valley!
"I do believe it will be Hope Valley for Allie, as I could never take her away from her friends! They love her so, and it's the first real home the child has ever had. The town is very small and quaint. In fact, I loved it there. The people were wonderful, but the homes are very small, and there might not be room for all of us! But don't worry about all that - we'll work it all out as it comes!"
"What's the town like, Miss?" asked Essie.
"Let's see. There's Nathan's Mounties' Office, of course! There's a Queen of Hearts Saloon that doubles as a Hotel and Dining Room. There's also a Cafe owned by the town's Judge, who is quite the chef, and a really good friend to Nathan. They do a lot of work together. They have an Infirmary, a Bank, a Barber, a Mercantile, an Ice Cream Shoppe, an Oil Refinery, and even a small Library. There's also a Livery and a Dress Shoppe. I'm sure I'm forgetting a few. I went along with Nathan on his rounds, and the countryside is amazing. So very beautiful. I felt free for the first time in a very long time!"
"What are the closest larger cities?" asked Hendrix.
"Buxton is the closest. Nathan drove me there to do some shopping for their Holiday Ball, as I hadn't taken anything appropriate to wear! It's a lovely town with lots of good shopping and restaurants. Nathan took me to his favorite French Bistro. I loved it. We had the best time, driving there, eating together, getting things to wear for the three of us! Oh, you two, it's really going to be the three of us! We're going to be a family!"
"That you are, Miss, and judging from that photo upstairs, a beautiful one at that!"
"Thank you, Essie! Oh, there's another much larger city about a half day's drive away I think, called Union City, where a lot of my colleagues are. I would have loved to have seen them, but we just didn't have time to work everything in. Nathan and Allie actually lived there for a while!"
Millicent tried to stifle a yawn.
"I'm so sorry. For some reason, I'm exhausted. That nap seems to have made me sleepier!"
"Let's get your Crumble for dessert!"
"Oh, Essie thanks, but I think I'm just too excited to eat it!"
"Very well! You didn't eat much of your dinner either. Then off to bed, you go! At least get some sleep!"
"Not till we talk about our week! You all go on and eat dessert while I make our list!"
"Essie, we're putting Nathan in the main suite of the Guest Townhouse, and Hendrix will look after him. I think he'll be most comfortable there!"
"My pleasure, Miss," smiled Hendrix.
"Albert got the groceries I requested for Nathan's favorite meal, but I'm not sure I'll be able to leave him long enough to cook on our first night! You two go on and fix the filets for yourselves, and we can reorder later in the week when we find a night at home. Nathan mentioned missing Chang's, his favorite Chinese Restaurant, so maybe instead we could order takeout from there? I'll make the list of his favorites to order if you'll give it to Albert for pick up after Nathan arrives, and then just keep it hot till he's ready to eat."
"He'll love that Miss. I doubt he'll want to part with you either! We'll take care of everything," promised Essie. "And give him a proper welcome!"
Millicent smiled.
"I know you two will! As I mentioned to Hendrix, don't worry about meals, as we'll be eating out a lot, I'm sure. I'll let you know if that changes, but really breakfasts are all we'll probably be eating here."
"That's simple enough," smiled Essie.
"Don't you worry about a thing, Miss. We'll keep everything under control, here. You just enjoy your time with Master Nathan," urged Hendrix.
"You too enjoy having him with us, too! Oh, and Essie, don't forget we'll need to pack a bag or two for my trip back to Hope Valley on Sunday! But if you two can't think of anything else, I think I'll head off to bed. Thanks for Dinner! I like it cozy in the kitchen."
"Well, you didn't eat enough to keep a bird alive! But off you go. Sweet dreams, Child!"
"You two as well! Goodnight! Tomorrow's our big day!"
All three were full of excitement waiting on their guest!
And all three were smiling in anticipation!
Millicent was still glowing as she turned to enter the main hallway…
All she wanted was Nathan.
The ache and longing for him within her was visceral.
She smiled as she thought how she couldn't wait to touch him, to look into his gorgeous blue eyes, to kiss him, to hold him, to tell him how very much she loved him.
But more than anything she wanted to take all of his pain away, filling him with love and happiness and joy.
She was determined to see Nathan whole again, as carefree as an adult can possibly be, like he was before all of life's many problems and tragedies.
For he had seemed to have more than his share of both to muddle through in his young adult life.
Millicent was ready for him to experience his well-earned joys.
She was tired of seeing him battered as he had been when she arrived in Hope Valley.
He didn't deserve that. No one did. And especially not after everything he had been through.
She vowed no one would ever treat him that poorly again and get away with it.
Not on her watch.
She would spend her life loving him, building him up, never tearing him down, letting him know just how very important and wonderful he was.
And she would protect him from hurt as much as humanly possible, her whole life through.
Because he was noble and worthy.
A truly honorable and wonderful Man…
The kindest, most generous, and most giving Man she had ever known.
And she loved him with all of her heart.
"Besides, he's funny, too," she chuckled. "And I'm the one who gets his jokes!"
Up in her bedroom after creaming her face and brushing her teeth, Millicent realized this was the very first time in her life she could luxuriate with delirious excitement and expectation on what was to come…
And it was a most miraculous feeling!
Beyond anything, she had ever imagined.
A feeling she thought she'd never feel.
She picked up her silver-framed photo of Nathan and Allie from her dressing table, drew it to her heart, and carried it to bed with her.
She crawled into her bed, sinking into its softness, kissing both Nathan and Allie goodnight, gently laying them on the pillow next to her.
Her dreams, along with a deep peace she had never known before, came swiftly, as watching the photo of the two people she loved, gently lulled her to sleep, curled up in her comfortable bed.
Her colorful, vivid dreams, were the most pleasant of moving visions, very romantic ones, of beautiful green meadows, unknown to her, dusted with vibrant wildflowers, bathed in the sun's golden rays, with both of them on horseback, her on Serena, him on Newton, racing through the wind together, Nathan laughing by her side, looking masculine and rugged, the wide brim of his ranch hat lowered just enough to shade his sparkling, teasing eyes!
With pure happiness and joy etched on his most handsome face…
