Chapter 58: Changes

"Mademoiselle Bradford…"

"Please, Monsieur Bouchard, feel free to call me Millicent."

"Only if you call me John," Monsieur Bouchard, Sr. responded.

"John, it is. May I get you a cup of tea?"

"That would be nice. I seem to be nervous, and I do apologize for that. Not a feeling I'm familiar with at all! In fact, I'm quite used to being in charge, but then again, your Children do tend at times to turn things upside down for you. Sadly, this appears to be one of those times…"

The distinguished-looking man placed his hands to his forehead, as though he had a headache, then quickly ran them through his salt and pepper hair.

"You just relax, John. I'll get the Tea!"

As Millicent left, John turned to Tom.

"Mademoiselle Bradford is quite lovely!"

"Yes, Sir! They don't come better than Miss Bradford. And speaking from experience, there really is no need to be nervous. She only wants to help. My advice is to just relax and let her do what she does best."

John sat on the settee, still rather nervously.

How could he be in this awkward situation?

"Do you have Children, Tom?"

"I haven't had the privilege, Sir. Afraid my Military Career didn't leave much of an opportunity to settle down. It's a regret, Sir. A deep regret."

"Understood, and don't get me wrong, I wouldn't take the world for either my Son or my Daughter. They are indeed blessings, yet parenthood isn't always a path paved with roses! It's just that my Daughter is loving, giving, and most pleasant. My Son, not so much. At least not to me."

"Perhaps Fathers and Sons have more difficulty communicating, Sir. Also, perhaps Fathers and Sons are more competitive with each other."

"That, Tom…may I call you Tom? That statement holds more wisdom than you can possibly know. And, regrettably, I would say it describes Lucas and me to a tee."

Tom noticed John was fidgeting with what appeared to be a very expensive platinum watch. One of the latest styles that wrapped around his wrist, which was becoming more of a common custom, particularly for the wealthy. He wore a tailor-made three-piece suit and carried a dapper hat, but to Tom, he seemed extremely…well, perhaps 'distraught' would be the most appropriate word.

"Monsieur Bouchard…"

"It's John, please!"

"John, I do know Miss Bradford has seen to it that your Daughter has been very well cared for, so no worries there. But to be completely forthcoming, I've barely met your Son. However, I can't imagine either wouldn't love and respect a man of your stature."

"Thank you for that, Tom," John said with a far-away look on his face. "Sadly, often things aren't quite what they seem."

The two men remained silent for the rest of their time together, until Millicent walked through the kitchen door with a tray of biscuits and hot tea.

With his impeccable manners, John stood and smiled slightly in the presence of this beautiful and reported most capable Barrister.

Immediately, with her smile, the heavy atmosphere lightened, and Millicent sat in Nathan's leather club chair, across from where John had been sitting.

"Here, Tom, I brought you a cup of tea too, with one lump of sugar and a splash of cream just like you like it!"

"Thank you, Miss," as Tom stepped forward to retrieve his cup.

"You are most welcome. Would you like a biscuit, too?

"No, thank you, Miss! The tea is more than enough!"

"How do you take your tea, John?"

"Just a splash of cream, please. And some honey, if you have it."

Millicent smiled.

"See, we already have something in common. That's exactly the way I take my tea!"

John then sat back down, leaning forward to take the cup of Tea, seeming to calm somewhat.

"Where would you like us to start, John?"

"I'm not sure…there's so much. I suppose the beginning is best. To be frank, I'm afraid my Son and I aren't close. Not like my Daughter. But of course, they have two very different Mothers, and I'm sure that accounts for a lot of the problems my Son and I've encountered with each other. Not to blame my first Wife, mind you, but simply to let you know the two very different home environments."

"When is the last time you've seen your Son, John if you don't mind my asking?"

"Just before he came to Hope Valley, about three years ago. I met him in San Francisco. He was getting in with a crowd I didn't approve of, and I'll admit, the visit was not at all a pleasant one. But it was indeed necessary. I had to try and prevent my Son from making a huge mistake. But I'm afraid I was too late. I knew he was running away from his Mother and me, which was hard enough, but I also knew he was running from something else. And it was that something else, that had me most concerned."

"You see Lucas has had everything money could buy from the day he was born. I've seen to that his whole life through. He was loved, but he didn't have what every child really needed. He didn't have a stable home environment. You see, his Mother has er, issues, we'll say," and he looked at Tom, hesitantly.

"John, I assure you Tom is vetted, and not a word you speak here today leaves this room, not by Tom, and not by me, unless you direct otherwise," assured Millicent.

"Thank you for that, although I feel sure that some of this is going to have to be left in your hands to do what you see fit as a Barrister of the Law. I'm afraid there are complexities, which I'm not quite sure how to handle on my own, without a sound legal perspective."

"John, if it helps, I'm not surprised by that. Perhaps just a bit surprised you are suggesting that so early in our conversation. I'm much more aware of the situation than you think I am. So, do feel perfectly comfortable to say whatever it is you need to say. We can sort what stays where at the end of our conversation."

"I appreciate that very much, Millicent. Very much, indeed. You know, I have had you checked out, quite extensively."

"I would have expected nothing less from a man of your stature. If I were in your situation, I would have done exactly the same."

"I must say your reputation is a sterling one. Plus, with what you did for my Daughter, I'll be forever grateful! But if it's not too presumptuous of me, I'm hoping you can help me with my Son, as well. Of course, it goes without saying that I will gladly pay you handsomely, for both services."

"Tell me your story, and we'll see if I can help you or not. I'll do my best, John."

"I believe you will. I warn you, this is quite a sordid tale, but let's proceed. When Lucas was three, I found out his Mother was having an affair. I confronted her about it in the hopes she would give the man up and come back to me, which she did agree to. But only a month later, I found that not to be the real case at all. She was still seeing the other man, quite often in fact. When I confronted her again, she demanded a divorce, and said she was in love with the man, and wanted to marry him. I tried my best to talk her out of it. I told her the truth, that I loved her more than anything, that I needed her, and if she couldn't stay for me, to at least stay for Lucas. But she wouldn't hear any of it. So, much to my displeasure, we proceeded with the divorce. She really left me no choice in the matter."

Millicent nodded, encouraging John to continue.

"It wasn't long before my fleet of Attornies soon called me, with a most bizarre condition of the divorce that predicated the entire proceeding. Now, mind you, Helen was the one asking for the divorce, I did not want it at all. Yet she was also the one demanding the condition. She insisted that we keep the divorce secret and that Lucas was to never know. That was her condition. At first, I was livid, I am an honest man, and I was refusing to live a lie, even one that she insisted would ultimately protect my Son. Because deep down, I knew it wasn't my Son she was interested in protecting. Instead, it was her good society name as well as her stellar business reputation. A public divorce would have ruined her coveted standing in both areas. I was furious and fought the condition as much as possible, but my Attornies finally made it clear to me that Helen would not agree to proceeding with the divorce at all, without the condition being met. And so, in order to have some semblance of a life, I agreed to live a lie where my first Family was concerned. Now, make no mistake, I loved Lucas more than anything in the world. I loved my Wife, too. Desperately. I just wanted my Family. But she didn't want me. She even made my life a living hell, till I truly had no choice but to do as she demanded."

"And so, I played the game. I had always traveled a lot anyway, so Lucas was used to me being gone quite a bit. Whenever it was convenient to Helen, I visited and stayed in our home with my Son, of course in separate bedrooms. I also took Lucas on trips whenever I could, and I made sure to spend every Holiday and special occasion with him. Occasionally, Helen would fit it into her busy schedule to travel with us, with me in a separate suite at night, of course. I dearly loved Lucas and I always will. But it was as though my Son instinctively knew there was a wedge between us."

"And you were alone during this time?"

"Yes, I had been so deeply hurt by my failed marriage, the last thing I wanted was another relationship. I buried myself in my Business."

"I have to ask, John, how did your Wife, now Ex-wife, explain the presence of the new Husband to your Son?"

"She never married him. Not while Lucas was growing up. Turns out the man was already married, and ultimately didn't want to leave his Wife. She died recently, and he and Helen finally married a couple of years ago, and I'm sure she drug my name through the mud, pretending I had deserted her. In fact, I have Business Associates and Friends who have actually verified that very thing. But rest assured, Helen has not told our Son any of that either. Not even about her new marriage. I know what you're thinking. This is all macabre. I realize how much, all over again, even saying the words out loud. Millicent, I am a man who is not used to failure. And yet, somehow, I failed my first Wife, and in doing so failed my Son. I'm not at all proud of that."

"But it sounds like you were put in an impossible situation. Your Wife demanded the divorce, but wouldn't let you fully have it," explained Millicent.

"You already knew this, didn't you?"

"Yes, just not the details. I did find the sealed divorce decree, and was able to access it via an emergency measure."

"I'm not at all surprised. You've done your due diligence, just as the people I spoke with, who knew you professionally, said you would do. What do I do now, where my Son is concerned, Millicent?"

"I've also done my due diligence on that point, as well. And I have excellent news on that front. Legally, even though that condition was a decree of the divorce, the statute of limitation on any and all 'conditions' has long expired in the state of Louisiana, John."

The man was astounded.

"You mean I'm not legally bound to uphold the condition any longer? Why ever wouldn't my fleet of Attornies have told me that? I pay them an absolute fortune!"

"I can't speak for them, John, except to say it was probably simply an oversight. But you are no longer legally bound to the condition set upon you, in any way, and if you are asking my advice…"

"And I am…"

"From my point of view, if you ever hope to have a relationship with your Son, you have to tell him everything. I know it will not be easy, and it probably won't be accepted at all initially, but it gives you a chance to eventually build a real relationship with him, built on complete honesty and openness, leading to trust. That's something, through no fault of your own, you've never had with him. He is an adult, John, but something is missing in his life, and you are a huge part of what that something is. You can make this right, if you're willing to fight for your Son."

John nodded slowly.

"I am very willing to fight, although, quite frankly, I'm afraid it's too late."

"I don't believe so. Truthfully, as long as there is life, I believe it's never too late. It's only too late if the mistrust between the two of you is allowed to fester and nothing is ever done to fix it. And I do know, the longer it festers, the worse it's going to be. John, I have to ask, for Antoinette's benefit, how and when did you meet her Mother?"

"When Lucas was fourteen, eleven years after my divorce, I was in Paris, on one of my many business trips, and literally ran into this beautiful young woman who walked into the street when a carriage came thundering by. All I could see were the horses and carriage coming straight toward her, so I did what anyone would have done. Without a thought, I ran and literally lifted her out of the way. When the carriage brushed past us, our eyes met, and in that instant, we both knew. We had been brought into each other's lives for a reason beyond that particular moment. We were inseparable from that moment on and married within six months. We were both that sure! We were blessed with Antoinette, Nettie, her Mama calls her, a year and a half later. Juliette, my wife, was a model for all the large fashion houses, and although I didn't know it at the time, she came from money, too, in addition to the money she had earned herself. Not a lot, probably, by your standards, but very comfortable. Our life, however, hasn't been about money. It's been everything a real marriage should be. Everything my first marriage wasn't. Marrying Juliette was the best decision of my life. And having Lucas and Antoinette were the second- best decisions of my life."

"Perhaps, John, you need to tell Lucas that, in those very words."

John nodded his head, but with a look of dread on his face.

"Because of his Mother and fate, I now have a whole separate life to explain to my Son. How does one do that?"

"I know that's a formidable task, but it is a necessary one in my opinion. It's also the right thing to do. You have to try to make amends, John. I know you would do anything for Nettie. Lucas deserves the same consideration."

"You sound as though you have Children?" he asked quizzically.

Millicent smiled.

"I do, although not in the traditional sense. I am engaged to be married to a man who has adopted and is raising his Niece. She is his Daughter legally and in his heart, and my Daughter already in my heart and in every way that counts! The legal formalities for me, will occur at the time of our marriage."

"That and your work with Children explain your compassion with Antoinette. Juliette and I are most grateful for your kindness to our Daughter, Millicent."

"She is a delight, and it was my pleasure, as well as my professional responsibility. But I do have deep concerns related to Nettie and her current living situation."

"I do too, and that is what I need to discuss with you that may have legal implications…But I also need you to know something else. As it turns out, without my knowledge, Helen found out about Juliette and paid her a visit, and in the process bribed her bodyguard away. I've since hired a new one over the phone from an agency I trust implicitly, and he is accompanying my Wife to Canada, where we will find a home to live in when I have to be in Canada. I simply refuse to keep my family hidden any longer. They don't deserve that. Juliette and Antoinette will accompany me in my travels from here on out. I'll hire a Tutor to travel with us, if necessary."

"That's wonderful! I'm sure Nettie will be thrilled to have her Family back together again! And quite frankly, I'm most happy to remit her to your care, instead of her Auntie Charlotte's. I have quite a few questions related to that scenario that I must ask of you."

"Yes, I'm sure you do, as do I, and that takes us back to those possible legal implications I mentioned…"


Upon Monsieur Bouchard, Senior's departure, Millicent prepped the lunch that had been brought in, while thinking about the revelations she had just heard.

She was never one to say I told you so, but she was, however, pleased that in this instance her instincts had proven right.

And now she could rest in the knowledge that Nettie, her charge, was now safe with her Father, permanently, and they would soon be joined by her Mother.

It was a huge relief for her, because she had an obligation by law to intervene, in any situation less than ideal, much less a potentially sordid, or even criminal one.

Millicent sighed and arranged the lunch food on one of Nathan's larger trays, and added yet another new bouquet of flowers.

But standing over the kitchen table, she felt an overwhelming need to pray.

"Dear Heavenly Father, please help Nathan's nightmares go away for good. But if this is wrong of me to ask, and we for some reason need to keep going through this ordeal each night, then please give us the strength to do so, and the wisdom to cope in the very best way possible. I want Nathan whole again before our marriage. He deserves that, Dear God. He's such a good man. A great man. Please take mercy on him, and free him from the trauma of these flashbacks! As a Christian, I have the knowledge You alone can fix this, and also as a Christian, I have the faith that You will do what is best in Nathan's life and in mine and Allie's. In Your most Holy Name, I ask your Will be done!"

Millicent smiled, knowing her prayer had been heard, and knowing God would be there with them, with or without the nightmares.

They would get through this…


"Darling, may I come in?"

"Absolutely, Love! Did everything go alright with Monsieur Bouchard?"

"It went pretty much as I expected, with what I hope is a helpful revelation or two. But if you don't mind, I'd like to go over all that tonight when Bill gets here, so we can brainstorm together. I want you to have a restful day, my Love!"

"With you here, we're definitely headed in that direction," smiled Nathan. "Oh, I meant to come down for lunch."

"I know. It's just that you were so tired last night, I thought it might be better to bring lunch to you! Is that okay?"

"Lunch anywhere with you is more than okay, Milli! What do we have?"

"I hope you're hungry. We have Lasagna with Fresh Garlic Bread and a Salad of Greens. Plus a surprise Dessert!"

"Sounds yummy. Just like Luigi's!"

"Oh, we can pretend! What is it about that place?"

"You and I have spent so much time there. Although I was such a dunce to not have made a move the first time we ate there!"

"Yes, you were! I completely agree! Leaving me crying at home through the night alone, shuddering trying to think what possibly could be wrong with me!"

"Now, don't make me feel worse than I already do!"

"I don't know, maybe you deserve a little payback!" teased Millicent. "There were lots of tears and rabid insecurities!"

"Is this a start?" and he pulled her down to him as soon as she set down the tray.

"Oh, Love! You are getting stronger! I can feel it! And your arm is healing so nicely, too. Faith was very impressed this morning with the healing! And so am I!"

He kissed her tenderly.

"Ready for Lasagna?" he asked with sparkling eyes.

"So ready! Tom chipped you some ice for your Tea as well as a separate glassful."

"Thank Tom for me. This history of our Ranch is fascinating, Mil! Did you know it had historical significance?"

"Yes, but didn't know the particulars. You know, it's going to be so much fun to make the place into ours. By the way, Mother already has the craftsmen lightening the wood paneling throughout the two houses, as well as all the wooden furniture. I hope it's alright, I told her to have them go as light as they could."

"Of course, it's alright. You're the decorator, not me! As you can see, looking around this place!" but then he got serious. "You knew from the beginning the Ranch belonged to us, didn't you, Love?"

"I did know. Maybe even before you declared your love to me!"

"Aha! Now, who's taking who for granted?"

"You so deserve it!"

"I do!" he declared flashing his signature crooked grin. "Let's pray."

"Dear Father, we thank you for the day, the healing, as well as the chance to be together! And we thank you for the kindness of everyone around us in supplying our food. Thank you specifically for the food we are about to receive, and please use it to nourish us and heal my body as quickly as possible! In Your Name, we ask, Amen!"

"Amen!"

"Oh, the most exciting part of our Ranch's history, so far, at least, is that the land was originally inhabited by your Mother's tribe!"

"Are you serious? I can't believe that! Wait till we tell her. She'll be absolutely thrilled! But why did they leave?"

"Apparently and sadly, the entire area was taken over by the French, and most of the Native Indians moved west, with some settling south of Montreal. It was the French that built the buildings we currently have on the Ranch!"

"That's really amazing! Who would have thought, that my ancestors lived there? Do you think that's what drew me to it?"

"It's very possible! I love that piece of the puzzle, and I'm sure your Mother will, too!"

"Nathan," and she looked deeply into his eyes. "Are you truly feeling better?"

"Yes, Love. I am. I'll get even stronger the longer I get to be up. Faith says I'm ahead of schedule. So that's good!"

"That's wonderful! Yum. This is delicious Lasagna!"

"It really is; almost as good as Luigi's, but…"

Millicent laughed.

"Well, you can't have everything, Darling!"

"I suppose not. Do you think we could talk Luigi into moving to Hope Valley?"

"No, but we do have his recipes now, remember?"

"That's right! Let's make that a priority after our Honeymoon, okay? Cooking Italian together! I'll be your Sous Chef, like Sal!"

"It's a deal! Together, we'll master Luigi's and Sal's entire menu! Oh, I mentioned to Allie last night, that she and I should do a Mother-Daughter night out once every week. What night is good for you?"

"You mean I'm not invited too?" he pouted, looking forlorn.

"Afraid not, when you get your Son, though, you can have Father-Son nights out!"

"But I don't want to…"

Millicent giggled and reached to kiss his cheek.

"Ah, but you will! Just wait till that Son comes along!"

"Well, if I have to choose a night, make it on Tuesdays. That's the night Winston wants us to conference with each other over the phone!"

"See, I knew it! You were holding out on me. But I'll still see that you have a hot meal brought to your Office, Love. You won't be left completely out! I promise!"

"Well, that's a relief. You had me worried there for a while. Seriously, I think it's a great idea, for both you and Allie! I'm just giving you a hard time! Although, you're both going to miss my charming company."

"Without a doubt, you will be missed! In fact, I'll have to tear myself away from you, and I'm sure it will be the same for Allie!"

"Now, you're just making fun of me!"

She playfully gasped.

"Never! But my handsome Mountie can surely fend for himself for at least an hour or two once each week."

"Maybe…"

They both broke out laughing.

"I love you more and more each day. How is that even possible, Mil?"

"Don't ask me. I only know it's true! Oh, back to the Ranch, Mother sent me a package with the Ranch house plans, colors and some fabric and wallpaper samples. If we select them here, they'll get started immediately. Are you game?"

"Totally! It would be wonderful to have that done and off your plate! I want my Bride to concentrate on other things.

"And what would those other things be?" she asked flirtatiously.

"Me…only me!"

They both laughed and without thinking drew their lips together.

"Since you're eating all your lunch, I'll bring everything up here and we can go through it all!"

"But you have the final say. You know I'm terrible at stuff like this!"

"So noted, Love! No worries. I have us covered!"

"Thankfully!"

"Ready for Dessert?"

"Depends on what it is!"

"How about Cheesecake?"

"Are you serious? Ready and waiting!"

The two fed each other Cheesecake, but oddly enough, as much ended up on their faces as in their mouths, amid lots of chuckles and giggles.

"Babe, I must say, you look positively adorable with your Cheesecake cheeks…and Cheesecake nose!"

"Very funny, Chief Inspector! Especially when it's you, who happens to be the guilty party for putting it there!"

"Why do I keep forgetting that I'm marrying a Barrister?"

"A very smart one, too! So, you'd better behave…"


"Lucas, say something. I've told you absolutely everything."

Lucas was silent but extremely angry.

So angry all he could do was pace the floor of his Office.

Back and forth.

"Son, I meant it when I said you and Antoinette were two of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I love you both, Lucas. Equally."

"Yet, that Girl, said you were grooming her to take over your businesses!" he spat the words out into the air.

"Yes, I am, along with you if you will allow it. Lucas, the businesses will be divided equally between you and Antoinette someday, if they have to be divided that is. I was hoping you and Antoinette could someday run them all together."

"How dare you say that! I didn't even know I had a half-sibling till a few days ago. And that's thanks to you! Do you know how humiliating it was for her to walk in here and announce that MY Father is also HER Father? Do you have any idea whatsoever?"

"I'm sorry. I truly am, Son. I meant it to come from me, but I didn't know till today, that I could tell you the whole truth without legal ramifications. And your Mother would have sued me for everything I'm worth if the condition was still legally effective. You know that's true. Can't you understand, Son? All these years, I've been between a rock and a hard place! I did the best I could, given a horrible situation, and I now know my best wasn't good enough where you're concerned. I deeply regret that. But I'm not the one who made the conditions. I begged your Mother to stay with me. I loved her, Lucas. Desperately. You know I did! It broke me when she no longer wanted me. As a man, surely you can understand how that felt."

Lucas calmed a bit.

"Your Mother wanted a life without me in it, except as was necessary, and I wanted you in my life so badly, I agreed to her terms. It's as simple as that. Please don't fault me for doing as your Mother insisted. I had to respect her wishes to keep you in my life. I had to do what I did! There was no choice. I couldn't imagine my life without you in it. And don't you see, this was the only way I could ensure that, Son."

"Don't call me that!"

"I WILL call you that. Because that's what you are. And I WILL call Antoinette your Sister because that's what she is. Just as you are her Brother. Whether you like it or not!"

Lucas was silent, but his jaw was tense, and his mouth was drawn into a straight, very rigid, line.

"Why didn't you trust me? Why didn't you tell me? You owed me that!"

"Lucas, you were three years old, and I was legally bound not to tell you, per your Mother's wishes. I don't even want you to blame your Mother. Perhaps she couldn't help falling in love with someone else. I understand more now. But I was so angry at the time. So crushed, so devastated."

"Why haven't my own parents loved me enough?"

"But we did, Lucas! We both loved you as much as you can love a Son."

John stood up and wrapped his arms around a very stiff Lucas.

"I love you, Son, more than life itself. I've made mistakes, but don't you dare stand there and say I haven't loved you enough. Because you were what kept me going all those years. You, and you alone. I'm asking you now, to forgive me…"

Lucas stared him down.

"Why in the world would I do that?"

"So, you can be a Man, a real Man, a whole Man," and John's return stare didn't waver. "I know you have it in you, Son. You are a good person. Now, be a good Man. Be a strong Man. I will help you every step of the way. I have lain my soul bare to you, and I believe you know that what I've said about everything is true. Especially the part about loving you. I chose wrong in my first marriage, but I wouldn't change anything. I'd do it all over again because that marriage gave me you, and you are my firstborn, my Son, my legacy!"

"But Father…"

John couldn't believe what he had just heard but chose to remain silent for fear the word would be taken back.

Lucas hadn't called him Father for quite some time.

Then Lucas suddenly broke, with tears in his eyes.

"I love you, Son. With all my heart I love you. I wasn't looking for Juliette. It was eleven years after the divorce, Lucas. You were fourteen. There was no hope whatsoever of reconciliation with your Mother. I had resigned myself to live my life alone. I had been living my life alone. There were no female friends, Lucas. But the day I saved Juliette from that oncoming carriage, it was as though fate had intervened, and we both immediately knew we were each other's half. It was meant to be, Lucas, and someday you will meet a young Lady and it will be meant to be for you."

"Does this Juliette even know about me?"

"Of course, she does, Son! I told her about you during our first dinner together. She asked to see your photo, which I had on me. And I should tell you, just after we married, she had an enlargement made and framed it. Then she placed it on our Bedroom Dresser and it's been there ever since. You can't imagine how much I wanted you there standing with me as Best Man at our Wedding in Paris, but I wasn't allowed to ask you. Juliette wanted you there, too. She kept asking, and I had to explain it over and over, that it was impossible."

"Who was your Best Man?"

"It was you, Lucas. Only you. No, you weren't able to physically stand beside me, but you were there in my heart. You were my Best Man and my only Best Man."

Exhausted, Lucas sat down at his desk.

"I've needed you my whole life. And yes, I know you were there when you could be, and now I know Mother was intentionally keeping you away. But looking back, if I'm totally honest, I have to admit you were the one there for me when I really needed you. But the truth is, I needed more than that. I needed you twenty-four seven and I didn't get that, from you or from Mother. How could Mother do this to us? I just don't understand any of it. It was Harold, wasn't it?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because I saw him kissing her in the kitchen of our house. There was a big New Year's party, and the Nanny had allowed me to come down the back staircase to get a glass of milk and a biscuit. And there she stood with Harold kissing her all over. She never even knew I was there…"

"I'm so sorry, Son. Why didn't you say something to me?"

"How was I supposed to do that? I was what, five years old? I knew you loved her. And I loved her. And I just thought you and I would be enough. I just knew we would be enough…that she would stay."

"I'm so very, very sorry, Son. So terribly sorry that you saw that and have dealt with that all these many years," and in spite of himself, John simply began to sob.

"I am too. I'll never get over that. Not ever."

"I'm just so sorry. But Lucas," John pled through his tears. "You have to get over it. There's a wonderful world out there, and there's an even more wonderful woman who is waiting for you to love her. And she needs you to be healed to love her completely."

"But what if it doesn't work. Like you and Mother? Would you really go through all that again? I know she was hard on you. She was hard on me! But twice as hard on you, at the very least!"

"I would do it all again. Just as I said. That marriage, as difficult as it was, gave me you. And I wouldn't take anything in this world for you, Lucas. Not anything. Please believe that. I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat."

Lucas nodded, for deep inside he knew his Father's words to be true.

His Father's love couldn't be questioned.

It had always been there, even when his Father had been on Business Trips, and even when Lucas had done his best to shut him out.

And over the years, Lucas had tried his very best to do just that.

Even when he had tried to blame him for all the strife at home.

His Father's love was there.

"You think your life, your family is one way. And you find out it's quite another. Nothing feels real, now. Although, truthfully, nothing felt real before. Things sure do look a lot different though…" he mused, looking out his Office window.

"I know they do, and I know this is going to take some time for you to work through. I would give anything had things been different. Anything Lucas. But unfortunately, I can't change any of it, not then and not now, except to proceed differently. I vow to you, Son, I will do everything possible to be a part of your life. If you'll just let me in. Maybe I can't make up for everything. But I can do right by you from this moment on. You just have to decide to let me in. And I'll give you time to do that. Just know my love is going to be there for you whether or not. But I do have one favor to ask of you. I want Antoinette to see I love you the same as I love her. I want the two of you to have Dinner with me before I have to leave. Can you do that, Son? We can do it privately if you'll just say yes."

"That kid's got a lot of spunk."

"Just like you!"

Lucas smirked, but then it turned into a reluctant chuckle.

"I suppose so. But, Dinner, I don't know…"

"She already adores you, Lucas."

"I was awful to her."

"She's young, but perceptive, and she somehow understood why. She wants to give you something she made. But if you want me to tell her no, I will."

"What is it?"

"That's for your Sister to tell you, Son. I'm hoping you'll be enough of a Gentleman to allow her to do so."

"I just need time. Afraid I can't promise anything," and Lucas started pacing again. "I can't leave to have it out with Mother right now. And oh, how I wish I could! I suppose…I suppose a dinner…won't hurt if it's private. And, if you promise me, you won't expect anything at all from me."

"I only expect you to be the Gentleman that you are. You know what Antoinette said to me?"

"That I was horrible?"

"No. She said you needed love, and she thought we should give it to you. She also later recognized the picture from our dresser was you. She already loves you, Lucas. And that's without me saying a word. Take your Sister's love and give it back to her. It will free you from this awful mess. You, my Son, are innocent in all this. But so is Antoinette. You are an Adult. She is a Child. Be the Man I taught you to be. I know there's a loving, giving, kind heart in there. Don't be afraid to show it. Not to your Sister. She's your flesh and blood, and you are her flesh and blood. But don't do it for her. Nor for me."

"Then who in the world do I do it for?"

"Only do it for yourself, Lucas."

"I don't know anything right now. This is just a lot to take in."

"An awful lot, and I'm so very sorry to be the one who has to spring this mess on you. But it's the only way we can move forward, Son. In complete and total honesty, so that there can be total trust between us. Deep down, I believe this is the piece that's always been missing for you. For us. Even as a child, you somehow instinctively knew something was missing in our relationship. Let's both be Man enough to fill that spot."

John got up and walked to Lucas, who stood an inch or so shorter than his Father.

"I love you, Son. And I have faith you'll do the right thing."

John noticed the wave of pure sickness that flitted over his Son's face, and he knew, sadly, in that moment, he was right.

His Son was in trouble.

"You know, I'm here for you, no matter what. Whatever is troubling you, I'll somehow help you fix it, if you will just let me in. Please let me in, Lucas."

Lucas nodded, unable to say anything.

'How could his Father possibly know?' he thought.

A stabbing pain shot through Lucas's body, all the way to his heart.

It seared his very soul.

And for the very first time, Lucas fully realized the devastation his decisions had made and were making on his life.

But the thought of what it would do to his Father made him feel more ill than he could ever remember feeling in his lifetime.

The thought literally sickened him.

'What have I done?'

But he was so ashamed.

Much too ashamed to talk to his Father about the matter…

It would literally devastate John Henry Bouchard, even worse than he had already been by Lucas's Mother.

The enormity of that realization hit home as it had never done so before.

"I love you, Son! You think about everything we've talked about. When you come to a decision, you know where to find me."

As John stalwartly turned to leave, trying to give his Son some dignity, tears streamed down Lucas's face.

But at the same time, unseen tears of fear for his Son, which were much more painful than the sobbing he had just experienced earlier, literally poured from his Father's heart…


"Papa, will Lucas have Dinner with us?" asked a very excited Antoinette, who now, thanks to Millicent and Judge Avery, was staying with her Father in their suite at The Queen of Hearts.

"I honestly don't know, Princess! I tried my best, but he needs time to think about it! You know what? I think we should add it to our Prayers."

"I already have Papa! Mama called while you were with my Brother. She's so happy we're going to be together. And she's happy you've found your Son! She'll call you again before they board the Ship!"

"Well, actually, you are the Young Lady who found my Son! And I am most grateful. Oh, how I miss your Mother, mon Cherie!"

"Me, too, Papa! Me, too, but don't be sad! She's coming soon!"

"Antoinette, remember our talk this morning? I need you to tell me every single thing that's happened since you've been at your Auntie's. Can you do that, Sweetheart, if we go have Lunch at the Cafe? Just you and me."

Still sickened inside, John somehow knew this was a lunch that couldn't be held at The Queen of Hearts, not with his Son there.

"Oui, Papa! I saw a lot. But I don't understand everything. I'll tell you everything I know…"


Millicent was busy squeezing in a few more calls to Montreal in the hour before she was going to pick up Allie from School.

She was seated, dwarfed in Nathan's leather club chair, with her hair in a French Twist and her back turned to the stairway, intent on some problem that needed solving at her Office, when suddenly she felt a rush of warm breath on her bare neck, then the warmest of lips.

She couldn't help but smile, but she wasn't about to let her Fiance know that, and so she continued her conversation in a most business-like manner, completely ignoring him.

As much as she could…

"Yes, take the second folder back to the Judge and ask for a stay, based on what you've found…no, it shouldn't be a problem."

She was doing her best to concentrate while Nathan, who had slipped down the stairs and positioned himself behind her, was doing his best to, er...distract her!

"Oh, I missed you!" he whispered so only she could hear. "Now this is fun!"

Fun for him at least!

And so, his kisses continued, knowing he was treading a thin line, but she was just too delicious.

"Yes, when you get that done, just call me here and I'll review it for you," she responded to her phone conversation in a most professional tone. "Then we'll discuss… I'd better go, Timothy… One more case? Can we possibly discuss it after you get this data back? It seems I have a problem that's popped up here, that requires my immediate attention… No, I actually think the two cases are going to overlap if it's the Swenson case. Okay, good… We'll talk then. Good luck with Judge Hatton!"

Laying down the phone, she narrowed her eyes, as she turned to her mischievous Fiance, who was about to be schooled!

"Oh, Nathan Grant, where do I begin with you?"

"Maybe here…" suggested Nathan shrugging his shoulders, and kissing her squarely on her lips just as he had been longing to do.

"You, my Love, are in so much trouble! You, just happen to be the Man who is not supposed to yet walk down the stairs by himself without assistance!"

"Ah, that's malarkey. Why I'm fit as a fiddle!"

"Who just played the flute on my neck! And now besides all that, I'm officially scared because you just sounded like Bill Avery! You are so very bad!"

"Nope…not bad at all. Now…this is bad!"

With one good arm and the injured arm in his sling, he showed her just how well he was getting.

"You, Nathan Grant, are completely and totally incorrigible."

"And you Millicent Bradford are completely and totally a stunner! Hey, don't move!"

"How could I possibly move? You have me pinned, Darling. And this is a Mountie hold I don't know how to get out of…yet!"

"As if you would want to if you could! There is no yet, my Love!"

"My, pretty confident, aren't we?"

He laughed.

"Extremely!"

She giggled.

"Good! Now, why don't you be a good boy and call your Mother who's been waiting all morning to talk to you?"

As she turned him around, her smug smile behind his back suggested she just might have had an ulterior motive or two in making this suggestion.

Very relieved he had gotten off easy, and completely unsuspecting, Nathan took the bait, while Millicent stifled a giggle.

She was about to teach the 'Love of Her Life' a lesson…one he wouldn't be likely to forget!

He sat down, obliviously, where Millicent had been sitting, pulling her down to his lap, then placed his call, which went through quickly.

"Mother! How are you?"

"How are you, is the question, Son? And how are my Girls doing?"

"Your Girls are doing just fine; it's your Son that needs some pampering! Remember, the one who was shot…"

"I'm sure Millicent is taking very good care of all that, Son! And more pointedly, of you!"

A point he couldn't argue with, because his Fiancee was truly taking phenomenal care of him, and yes, she was pampering him to the hilt!

One could say particularly so right at this very moment…

By mischievously doing the exact same thing to his neck he had done to hers only moments ago.

Ah, such brilliant and sweet revenge!

As luck would have it, Nathan's Mother was in a very talkative mood, asking a hundred questions, and because of those endless questions, it could be said that Nathan's squirming was a whole lot worse than Millicent's had been, if for nothing more, but the extended duration.

Until finally, he could contain his writhing no more and burst out laughing at the most inappropriate comment.

"Nathan, you aren't even paying attention to your own Mother! I just told you Mrs. Bledsoe broke her arm!"

"I know Mom, so sorry! That's not what I meant!" doing his best to stifle a chuckle that just couldn't seem to be stifled.

"Um-hm, I know exactly what you meant, Son! Tell Millicent, Archie and I love her too. Sounds like you're both otherwise engaged. Go take care of my Girl. But be sure to take care of yourself, too, and do exactly what Millicent says! Oh, and give a hug and kiss to both my Girls for me!"

"Yes, Ma'am. Will do! Love you, Mother! Tell Dad hello. Talk soon to both of you! But wait, what about me…"

"Behave, Son!"

"Mother, it's not me. It's Millicent!"

"What are we now? Twelve years old and a tattle tale? I'm fairly sure whatever she's doing, you deserve every bit of it!"

"Thank you, Sophia!" called Millicent into the mouthpiece.

"Goodbye, Mother!"

"Love you, Millicent! Oh, and you too, Son!"

"Goodbye, Sophia! Much love!"

"Mother, that's not fair…" and the phone went click.

"Yep, she wanted to talk to me alright! So much so, my own Mother hung up on me! And I must say, that was particularly cruel and unusual punishment, Miss Bradford."

"Oh, can we dish it out, but not take it, Chief Inspector? Because, unlike you, I was speaking with a business colleague, not an understanding Mother!"

"Okay, okay…you win! But…I must admit, I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat! And very proudly, too! So, it looks like you are just going to have to be more careful!"

"Oh, don't you worry! I am going to be more careful alright; after you heal, I will be taking my business calls in my office! If I ever get one! You, my Love, are truly, truly incorrigible!" and she sighed a sigh that proved she had given in completely. "One could even say irreformable!"

"Perhaps irredeemable?"

He flashed his lop-sided grin, knowing that was bound to give him points.

"But you love me for it, Mil! Hey, can I walk to school with you?"

"Absolutely not! It's freezing out there, and you'll catch your death of cold! You are going to make yourself comfortable right here, and Allie and I will be home before you know it!"

"Ugh! I'm going to be so bored."

"Poor Baby. Surely, a brilliant man such as yourself will figure out something!"

But on second thought, perhaps she should steer him in the right direction…as his Mother would say, he was a man, after all!

Millicent walked to his desk and pulled out a few sheets of paper, then grabbed his pen.

"Here, Darling, use those beautiful words of yours and write something wonderful!"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"I'm serious, Nate. It's a talent you're letting go to waste and you know what the Good Book says about that!" she playfully chided.

"Okay, okay, I'll write! But only if you hurry back to me!"

"I promise, Love! As quickly as possible!"

"You know Allie could walk back home once by herself if she had to. She is old enough. Plus, Kyle is with her."

"Of course, she's old enough, Darling! But that's not the point. And neither is the fact, Kyle is with her. She misses her Father and I'm simply filling in for you! For us! We've got to maintain her routine through this as much as possible. Besides, I use the time to tell her about our day, so she feels included in everything."

"Of course, you're right! And that's very sweet of you!"

"I love being Allie's Mother. Although, believe me, both of us would prefer it if you could come with me. I admit I do miss us both walking her to and from school together every day!"

"See, I'll get ready right now!"

"Oh, no, you won't! You, Baby, are going to write, remember!"

He scrunched up his boyish face, flashing those sparkling, teasing blue eyes.

"Is that 'Baby' a term of endearment or are you simply calling me a Big Fat Baby?"

"What can I say? If the shoe fits, my Love!"

She laughed and reached up to kiss him, playfully covering his lips with wisps of light airy touches.

"Now, I'm never letting you go," he insisted.

"I have to go, and you have to write!"

She gave him one last real kiss, and he walked her to the door to squeeze in one additional kiss, and more if he could, till finally, she whispered "I love you," and with a low, throaty laugh, closed the door behind her.

"I can't believe my Fiancee is leaving me all alone in my hour of need!" he complained loudly through the door.

As his loud comment was meant for them all to hear, Tom, Matt, and Millicent, outside on the porch, all broke out laughing in unison, which in turn caused Nathan, with his back against the door, to grin from ear to ear.

Point made and taken...


Alone, he sighed heavily, and slowly moved back to his leather club chair, lifting the pen she had given him.

But instead of writing, he started doodling on the top page.

It was soon clear his doodle was becoming a portrait of Millicent.

"Hey, that's pretty good. Maybe some of Colleen's talent has rubbed off on me!"

But he could practically hear his Sister saying, "Don't kid yourself, Little Brother!"

She had always teased him by calling him Little Brother, because as the second twin, he was a few minutes younger than her, although he had always been bigger and taller than her.

"Okay, so I'm not an artist, Colleen. But I'm not a writer either, Millicent!"

And he scrunched up his face to show his disdain for both being alone and not knowing where to start.

But then he remembered always having a notebook in his hand growing up.

What was he always writing?

Suddenly, it came to him.

His cache of short stories.

Adventure stories.

Comical stories.

Devotional stories.

Historical stories.

Mountie stories.

Mystery stories.

Tragic stories.

Western stories.

Why he had even written one story that could have been classified as a Romance story!

Well, as romantic as a bumbling sixteen-year-old got.

It was the one he had written when Millicent had gone away traveling with her parents, and Colleen had gone with them. Which left Nathan at home with Richard, who had preferred to not travel with his family on this particular trip. So he had stayed as the Grant's guest, instead.

How he had missed her!

And he wasn't talking about his Sister, either, although truth be told, he missed her too.

He and Richard had gotten into a lot of trouble with the Girls gone, even more than usual. So much so, his Mother had finally made Archie lay down the law. Which he summarily did by handing out laborious chores to both young men!

But the truth was, nothing was the same without Colleen and Millicent there, especially Millicent.

Had he already been in love with her way back then?

And then he remembered the story and the poem he had ended it with.

He had kept it under lock and key, and away from Richard's prying eyes, using an old lock his Father had given him from the Stables by placing it on a chest, he had made himself.

No, that wasn't right. He hadn't made the chest alone. His Father had spent hours showing him how and supervising him.

Besides riding and maintaining the stables, their woodworking was the one big thing that the two Men of the Family did together, alone.

Of course, they played board games at night, too, although that didn't really count, as that was with the whole family.

Oh, to compare all that happiness to the excruciating pain when his Dad was away...

He allowed the thought to quickly flit across his mind without taking root, as the pain of his Father's indiscretion was part of their past they had finally moved beyond as a family.

Hmm! Wonder what ever happened to that chest?

Knowing his Mother, it was probably still under his bed in the room he had grown up in!

He'd have to remember to check when he visited again.

But the words he had written so long ago were slowly coming back to him…tumbling through his mind in a torrent of words.

"I can see you here, but you are not…"

"Your long golden curls, your eyes so green."

"I miss your smile, but then I don't, because it's locked inside my heart."

"But even with your smile, it's you, I still miss."

"Your calm, your laugh, your bitten lip while deep in thought."

"Your gentle care, your warmth, your friendship."

"And could it be your love I truly miss…"

It was all coming back to him, although he had never shown anyone that poem.

He could still feel the loss of her presence that seemingly never-ending two-week period, so long ago.

It had been the very first time he could remember missing someone, other than his Father and other more distant relatives.

And when Millicent and Colleen returned, he had made every excuse in the world to be around them.

More precisely, to be around Millicent.

But soon, their lives had gotten back into their normal routine, and the angsty feelings, whatever they had been, subsided.

Or did they?

Without realizing it, as the words came back to him, he had written the poem down on the sheet of paper Millicent had given him.

Yes, perhaps he had been too young to know, but his heart had loved her even back then.

As it turned out, she had missed him, too, and the first time she could slip away from Richard, she found Nathan mucking the stable stalls, and handed him a small package wrapped in plain brown wrapping paper.

But the thing he would never forget, she had taken a piece of her own hair ribbon and wrapped it around the plain package. Just like she had done with the daisies she had given him when he had the Chicken Pox. He couldn't remember the color this time, but he had recognized it as one she wore.

"No, wait, it was blue! Cornflower Blue!"

She had shyly handed her gift to him, anxiously waiting to see if he liked it, and he had.

Very much.

So much so, blushing and nervous, he had quickly kissed her on the cheek, standing there in the Grant stables alone.

Had that been their first private kiss?

His stomach had a cyclone of butterflies even before the kiss, which turned into pure exhilaration after!

He had done it, and she was still standing there.

And she was smiling, too, although shyly, with her cheeks flushed where his mouth had just touched.

She was home, glad to see him, and had even thought about him on her trip to choose a special gift for him.

All was right in the world, again!

And now, even extraordinary!

She had given him the very last book in a series he had read and loved, that had just been published and released in a few of the big cities.

One he had anxiously been waiting to read.

He placed the book in a safe spot in the stables, but without thinking, (or had he just needed a piece of her with him), he had put the ribbon in his pocket, planning to take it home later to put it in his chest, along with his book.

But he had to exercise the horses after she left, and somewhere while riding, the ribbon had been lost.

He had been so distraught that he went back to the pasture the next day, but there was no ribbon.

Had the wind blown it away for safekeeping somewhere, till a later date, when both of them were ready to love?

Their love most certainly hadn't disappeared in the wind…it was now stronger than Nature's most tempestuous weather at its most virile.

All of a sudden, and very succinctly, Nathan Grant, the writer was back!

She was right, he was a writer, and suddenly word after word toppled over the other, till he was scribbling furiously.

He was so deeply entrenched in his words, that he didn't even hear Millicent and Allie open the front door and enter the room...


Millicent raised her finger to her mouth and winked at Allie that they should be quiet and let her Dad finish.

The two patiently waited by the door, till Nathan had written the last sentence, and there was a look of pure exuberance on his face.

When he noticed his Girls were standing at the door, he hurriedly sat his completed paper aside and they all three hurriedly met in the middle of the room, where he enveloped them as best he could with his injured arm, smothering them both with kisses.

"I am a writer! How did you know to push me, Love?"

"It wasn't hard, Darling! For all the years of growing up together, I could count on one hand the times I saw you WITHOUT a notebook!"

"I love you Millicent Bradford, and I love you, Allison Grant! So very, very much!"

Physical healing had been the focus since the shooting, but the three were witnessing another kind of healing taking place, that was every bit as important.

Just like his music, this talent for writing was re-introducing itself back into his consciousness.

Was this God's way of lessening the nightmares?

Perhaps it was.

They had no real way of knowing just yet.

But it was hard to say who in this room was more grateful.

Although the particulars weren't known, it was very clear something extremely important was happening.

Nathan Grant was becoming whole again…