CHAPTER 66: To Brighter Days

Nathan knew Allie was still crying, even though she was doing her best to hide it.

Inwardly, he was too, and it was all he could do to hold it in.

But his total focus now was on his Little Girl, whose heart was breaking at this very moment.

Truthfully, his heart was breaking too, but he would deal with that later.

Allie was the important one right now.

It pained him even more to see her pain, her broken heart.

He was doing his very best to comfort her, with the two of them still rooted to the spot where they were standing when the train had taken Millicent away from them.

It was as though if they didn't move, part of her would still somehow be there.

His arms were wrapped protectively around his Daughter.

She was hanging on to his waist for dear life, burying her head into his chest.

Nathan leaned back just enough to wipe the tears from her eyes.

When he did, she looked at him so forlornly, yet, in pure innocence, asked him the sweetest, most selfless question through her tears.

"Are you okay, Daddy?"

A knife ripped through his heart.

Only Allie, in the middle of her own pain, would be thinking of him and his pain.

The question saddened him, yet made him burst with pride marveling at his Daughter's selflessness.

He started to say yes, that he was okay, but that would be a lie.

And having never lied to Allie, he wasn't about to start now.

"No, Allison Rose, I'm not okay," her look was puzzled, as she had expected her strong Father to say yes, but he knelt down beside her, instead, still holding her as he tried to explain.

"I'm not okay right now, and neither are you, Sweetheart. But we both will be okay after a while. I promise."

She nodded.

"Will Momma be okay after a while too?"

"Yes, she is very strong Allie, just like us, and I believe with all my heart she will be okay after a while, too. The three of us are going to be okay!"

He smiled, but still couldn't sugarcoat this separation for his Daughter, so he amended his promise.

"The truth is because we've already found each other in our hearts, the three of us are going to miss each other terribly over the next month, but you and Momma and I are going to learn how to deal with that. And we'll find lots of ways to do that. So, yes, we're all going to be okay! We're all three going to get through this, Allie, because after all this is over, we're going to be an official Family!"

"But Dad, we already are a Family!"

"You're absolutely right! We are already a Family. I should say after the Wedding, we get to be together forever, Allie!"

"Can I talk to her tonight on the phone? Please! Pretty please!"

Her eyes were pleading.

"I'm so sorry! I'm afraid neither you nor I can talk to her tonight, nor the next night. Not while she's on the train traveling."

"But why? She said she would talk to us every night. She promised."

"That's my fault, Sweetheart. Your Momma wanted to call us while she's traveling, but she would have to get off the train in order to place the call, and I didn't think that was safe for her to do. Your Momma's known to a lot of people, Allie, and because we love her, our job is to keep her safe. Think about it, there are reporters and photographers already on board the train, which means there might be more at the scheduled stops. So, I asked her to wait till she got home to call us, and although she didn't like it, she agreed because deep down she knew it was best. She promised to call us as soon as she gets home to Montreal, and then she will call us every single night and even more. We'll call her too, lots and lots of times!"

"Will I be able to talk with her every night?"

"Yes, for as long as you need to. It's a promise."

She shook her head in agreement, trying her best to dry her tears.

The crowd was still there, watching the devastated duo, wanting desperately to comfort the Chief Inspector and his Daughter, but not knowing exactly how to do so.

But in their confusion, somehow an understanding came to these wise folk of Hope Valley.

There were times in life, it was better to just be alone, and so instead of offering platitudes, they decided to give the Grants the two things they needed most: love and privacy.

The crowd began to slowly disperse, filing by Nathan and Allie, without saying a word, but offering their comfort and concern, instead, simply by reaching out to quickly hug them or touch them gently on their arm or hand. Many of them kissed Allie as she stood in her Father's arms, and shook the Chief Inspector's hand.

Anything to show them comfort without inadvertently saying something that might cause them more pain!

This kind, collective act touched Nathan and Allie more than anything else could have, and helped strengthen them in a way they hadn't expected!

They couldn't help but feel the Town's love!

Slightly behind them, Kyle and Lance watched discreetly over the pair, as Nathan and Allie respectfully and kindly thanked each person.

Bill and Gabe lingered back a bit, apart from the crowd, watching the whole process till the last person was gone.

Then they came and just stood by Nathan and Allie, silently showing their support.

The four just stood there together for quite a bit of time, while Nathan continued to comfort his Daughter.

Finally, Bill spoke up in a low voice.

"I know food is the last thing on your minds right now, but how about I pack you a couple of lunches to take with you anywhere you feel you need to go."

They looked blankly at him with no response, because the Grants had no idea what to do or where to go, and eating truly was the last thing on their mind, as neither had any appetite whatsoever.

"You know, I've always found that when I feel lost, the best thing to do is get myself on a horse. Why don't I go make those lunches, and you two go to the livery and saddle up your horses? Might do you both a world of good!"

"Dad, that way, we could see Serena and Cookie, too, and check on them for Momma."

Nathan nodded.

"Hey, I'd love to go with you two, but I'm expecting a call from Headquarters," explained Gabe, sorry he wasn't free.

"Thanks for the thought, Gabe! We'll catch up later," nodded Nathan.

The pair began walking to their car, followed by Kyle and Lance.

But Allie suddenly turned back, calling to her Uncle Bill.

"Uncle Bill, will Momma find my present?"

"Yes, Little Mountie, your Uncle Tom is going to make sure that she does as soon as they get to their Suite onboard the Train!"

"That's good. Thank you, Uncle Bill…"


Still standing outside, Millicent looked straight ahead with a blank expression, seemingly frozen to the small platform, where the gate had been locked securely into place, gripping the railing till her hands were bruised, with the wind whipping at her face.

As the train passed through the countryside and gathered even more steam to travel onward, the little town of Hope Valley was a distant blur, yet Nathan and Allie remained very real, forever in her heart.

She was crying softly, frustrated that she couldn't keep her tears in, and trying her best to hide them, hoping the wind would dry them away.

She could still feel Nathan's touch and see Allie's smile, and for that, she was most grateful.

'We love each other. We're a Family. This is what we have to do in order to really be together. With all this logic, why does parting hurt so terribly?'

She knew the answer before she could even finish her thought.

This wasn't about her Barrister's logic, this was about the hearts of those she loved as well as her own!

Hearts were a living breathing thing, full of fragility.

And they had entrusted each of theirs to each other.

They simply belonged together!

Watching her, Tom was at a loss, as he had known this parting would be very hard on all three of them. But it was cold, and he had to bring his charge into her Suite. This was a nightmare on more levels than one, as being outside on a moving train was potentially dangerous to her physically, but also from a health standpoint. She was going to catch her death of cold if he didn't do something soon!

He loudly cleared his throat, competing with the roar of the train.

"Miss…" he called.

As Millicent turned with devastation written all over her face, he handed her roses to Matt and held out his arm to her.

With a heavy sigh, she stepped with him into the Passenger Car.

But then this kind man gathered her to him as she hid her face in his shoulder, while Matt watched protectively all around them, even though he had already secured the entrance to their now Private Car.

Tom patted her back and soothed her by talking to her in a calm, low grandfatherly voice, barely above a whisper, but doing so without patronizing her.

As she calmed somewhat, he led her into the Suite, with Matt moving to stand guard just outside their door.

Tom took the Red Roses Nathan and Allie had given her into the Suite, placed them into a large crystal vase the Steward had just filled with water for that very purpose, and sat them on the fancy low table in front of the plush sofa, so she could see them from everywhere in their new living quarters.

Millicent sat down on the sofa with her fur still around her shoulders, barely noticing her surroundings, trying her best to stop sniffling and to stop the wracking pain coursing through her body.

As she further composed herself, she released yet another heavy sigh.

Tom poured her a cup of still hot, freshly brewed tea from a silver pitcher the Steward had also left.

Without asking, he added a twist of Honey and a splash of cream, because he knew that's how she liked it.

She tried to take a sip, but she simply couldn't drink it, setting it down on the table instead.

"I'm sorry, Tom."

She sat there solemnly, just looking down at her Engagement Ring, tenderly touching its band wrapped around her finger, absent-mindedly twisting it the slightest bit, watching the flash of diamonds.

"Miss, things will get better, I promise!"

"I know you're right, Tom. But will this awful ache of missing them ever go away?" she asked weakly.

"It may not go away, Miss. But it will get easier to bear. I just remembered something! Will you excuse me for a moment?"

She nodded but didn't look up, still staring at her Emerald and Diamond Ring, this most beautiful, important piece of jewelry that showed the world she belonged to Nathan Grant.

And she did wholly belong to him.

They finally had found the resolution always intended for the path they had been on their entire lives, as a Couple in love together.

A part of their path that was even more extraordinary than she had ever imagined!

The last few weeks had been the most glorious blur, but thankfully, every magnificent moment was emblazoned on her heart and in her memory.

Her heart was his, and she knew his heart was hers.

She was beyond grateful they had finally found each other, something she had given up on ever happening, and despite her pain, the thought brought a joyous smile to her face.

Oh, how she already missed him! And Allie! The Girl had burst out into tears and it had broken Millicent's heart to leave her that way, bringing out every maternal instinct.

Thankfully, she knew Nathan was comforting her right now.

When Tom returned from his bedroom across from hers, as that's where Nathan had insisted he stay during his absence in order to ensure Millicent was protected as much as was humanly possible, he walked back toward her handing her a rather large package wrapped in plain brown paper with a blue satin ribbon tied in a simple bow around the middle.

"Wait, I've seen that bow! It's Allie's hairbow! But what is this?"

"This is from Miss Allie, Miss, for her Momma! Her Uncle Bill asked me to give it to you, although I'm afraid I have no idea what's inside!"

She looked up at him for the first time.

"Shall I open it, or you, Miss?"

"From Allie? Oh, Tom," and she reached for it anxiously, carefully untying the simple ribbon and slowly pulling away the paper.

Upon lifting the box lid, she gasped.

It was Allie's Art Canvas Millicent had bought her for her sleepover.

Allie had obviously made this painting there.

She had painted a dream-like 'portrait' of Nathan, Millicent, and herself using semblances of their faces from their Engagement Photo, that she had also taken with her to the sleepover.

It was the Family Allie had so longed for all together!

"Why this is our Family Portrait," she cried. "Oh, my goodness! It's beautiful!"

Tears flowed down her cheeks, yet laughing through her tears, Millicent had to be careful not to let them touch her precious canvas.

She stared at their portrait before her, incredulously, unable to tear her eyes from the image.

"How did Allie do this, Tom? It's simple and childlike, yet almost hauntingly accurate. A younger version of how Colleen would have painted it. Allie doesn't even realize it, but she uses the same simple, soft, feather-light strokes as her Mother always did! Oh, Tom, it's so beautiful. This is such a treasure!"

"Look, Miss, the Chief is in his new Dress Serge, with all the gold!"

"So handsome! And that white flowy dress on me is very similar to the one I actually wore! But look, Tom. She's placed herself in the middle wearing the white dress with Rosebuds we bought in Union City for her Dance!"

The portrait was of their upper bodies only, with a mist of muted colors in a soft oval shape petering out around them, as if in a vignette.

"This is so good! No one would imagine a twelve-year-old child could have painted something with such striking likenesses!"

"I have to agree! It's quite advanced for her age."

"You know, Allie said she had trouble drawing faces! Maybe she was just trying to get in all the details, yet, this, I think is way lovelier, with just hints of our faces. I can't believe she actually painted this the night of her slumber party, Tom! Look, she even signed the front and dated the back, as I suggested. I can't believe my sweet Daughter remembered to do that!"

"You all three look so very happy, Miss! Here and in real life, I might add!"

"Yes, Tom, we do! We are so happy," she choked, determined not to cry, still taken in by the painting. "I love that you can tell the faces are us, yet they're also still vague somehow. Maybe that's why she thought she couldn't draw faces, although, she's captured the essence of each of us beautifully, without all the unnecessary detail. Colleen would be so proud of her! That Girl is truly her Mother's Daughter!"

"If I may say so, Miss Allie is both her Mothers' Daughters, Miss. The painting is stunning, a wonderful gift to treasure. Ah, but, wait! I think you missed a note," cautioned Tom as he reached to the floor to retrieve a card or letter that had slipped out when Millicent had lifted the painted portrait from the box.

Handing the envelope to her, Millicent opened it, with the torturous look of missing them so badly that had been written all over her face starting to fade, replacing it with a look closer to peace, as this physical connection brought her Family, these two people she loved most of all, back to her.

She anxiously pulled out a single sheet of white paper, filled with Allie's girlish handwriting.

Millicent smiled as she read aloud the loving words written there.

"Dear Momma,

Momma, you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen, and the kindest and sweetest one too.

Ever since you visited us, and we went fishing, I prayed so hard my Dad would fall in love with you and you would fall in love with him and be my Momma. Because you both are perfect for each other.

I knew he already loved you and I did too. And I could tell you loved us. So, I prayed harder than I ever prayed before in my whole life.

I also prayed Dad would go to Montreal to see you.

When you came to me on that train, I knew my prayers were answered, and you would love me forever and be my Momma forever.

And then you gave me Cookie, and she is now my very best friend in the whole world, just don't tell Opal.

I love you Momma with my whole heart. And I can't wait to meet my new Family. I'm sure I will love them lots too, but I will always love you and Dad most of all!

I can't wait for our Mother-Daughter Nights when Tuesdays come after our Wedding!

I love you with all my heart!

And I'm so proud I get to be your First Daughter.

Hugs and Kisses, Allie

PS Don't forget your Countdown Calendar and thank you for coming to see me and being there for me when I needed you so bad.

PS PS And thank you for your pink lace nightgown. It will help me feel like you're with me while you are in Montreal and it will remind me of you even though I won't need to be reminded because I will already be thinking of you."

Millicent could no longer stop the tears, but these were happy tears, full of love for her Daughter. She could barely see the little pink heart Allie had drawn at the end of her words, and the string of roses she had drawn to stretch around the bottom and up the right-hand side of the page, ending with three different sized hearts, one for each of them!

Millicent held the letter in her hands with the painting still on her lap, as her tears were replaced with a real smile shining through her pain!

Tom gathered her into his arms, with a smile, comforting her still.

"See, Miss, you're better already! How could you not be with that lovely gift, and that even lovelier Daughter? Miss, you know the Chief clearly and totally adores you! If I may say so, and I know this is hard right now, but the three of you are very strong and have a very deep, rich love. It's that inimitable love that we all see that's going to get all three of you through this short separation. Every time the pain of missing them comes, just think of that powerful love. It belongs to all three of you and is never going to go away."

"Thank you for that, Tom. Would you mind terribly if I go lie down for a bit? I'm not sure I'm up to sitting out here and watching us travel further and further away from them."

"Of course not, Miss. Try to get some rest. I'll do the same, as Matt is on guard."

Millicent rose, taking Allie's painting and letter with her, along with the gift box containing Nathan's favorite poems, as she walked into her bedroom, the same one she had had when she returned to Hope Valley with Nathan after their Engagement.

But this time she was without Nathan, his perfect loving presence, and his wonderful surprise of Serena and Cookie being on board!

It had been the most special trip of her life, one she would never forget.

Maybe reliving that perfect time would help her feel even less alone, less empty.

Allie's personal and very thoughtful gift already had helped reground her tremendously…


"Look, Dad, Serena and Cookie are sad, too! What are we going to do?"

"I'm afraid, they realize your Momma is gone, Allie, since she said Goodbye to them. They're just missing her already like we are."

"Should she not have told them?"

"No, she did exactly the right thing by being honest with them and telling them she had to be gone. Horses are a lot like us humans. Imagine how we'd feel if your Momma hadn't' said goodbye to us! Even if your Momma hadn't told them, they would still know she's not here, just like we would have. And don't you think they would have been more upset and felt even sadder had she just left them without explaining she had to be gone?"

Allie nodded.

"Do you think they understood her?"

"I do, Sweetheart."

"That's why Momma told me I needed to take really good care of them for her, isn't it?"

"Yes, and don't forget, she will miss them too like I'm sure she's already missing us."

"Dad, can we talk a minute?"

"Of course, Allie. We can always talk. Come here. Let's sit down on this big bale of hay."

They did and Nathan hugged Allie to him, sitting there silently, letting her take the lead, not sure where this conversation was going to go.

"Dad, please don't get mad at me. But I made a gift for Momma and Uncle Bill gave it to Uncle Tom to give to Momma on the train. I think she already has it."

"Allie, why in the world would I be mad? That's a lovely thing for you to do! Whatever it is, I'm sure it is making your Momma very happy, right now at a time she needs us most."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. She loves you, Allie and she will love anything you give her because it will remind her of you, especially something you made for her."

"It's a painting I made, Dad. I painted our Family Portrait, with you, Momma, and me."

"That's a beautiful gift, Allie! That's the best idea ever! I can't believe you thought to do that all on your own! But you've been so busy, when did you ever find time to paint?"

"I did most of it at our Slumber Party, and then I finished it whenever I visited the girls."

"You amaze me, Allie. I can't wait to see it! And I'm sure a Family Portrait of us is exactly what your Momma is needing right now. Thank you for doing this, Sweetheart. It warms my heart," and Nathan reached to kiss the top of Allie's head.

They held each other, feeling a little better knowing this was yet another connection for the three of them, a new connection, one they would all three cherish, because even without Nathan having seen it, this painting was binding them together even in their separation, and making them all feel closer together.

And for that, Nathan was very thankful!

"How about let's get our Horses saddled up? Let's get Newton first and then I'll help you with Nellie."

"Dad, could I please take Serena? She's sad and she needs us to cheer her up, too!"

Allie's point was valid, but Serena could also be quite the handful. She was a spirited horse, and although Millicent handled her proficiently, Allie was nowhere close to being able to handle her on her own.

Nathan was very unsure and still contemplating just how he should answer when Bill walked into the livery.

"Hey, you two! I've got Sandwiches and Chips, with Apples and Carrots for the horses, and Cookies for you two. Even threw in a couple of Ginger Ales!"

"Bill, would you want to go with us?" asked Nathan, suddenly getting an idea.

"Why do you think I have three bags?" laughed Bill.

"Great! Allie wants to ride Serena, and I was worried about doing it with just the two of us, but I think we'll be fine if you're with us too!"

"My pleasure! Let me get Fireball saddled up, and then I'll help you with Serena!"

Allie clapped her hands and wrapped her arms around her Dad, stretching up to kiss him.

"This will help Momma, too, Dad! She'll be so happy we took Serena for a ride!"

Nathan smiled genuinely for the first time.

"Yes, it will, Sweetheart! It surely will!"

"Dad, I wrote Momma a letter too!"

Nathan immediately choked, struggling to say anything, remembering the own letter he had written her.

Since he was having difficulty, he simply kissed Allie's cheek instead, buying himself some time.

"Thank you for that, Princess! You've made me very proud! Very proud, indeed! But if we're going to ride, we'd better get back to work!"

The two worked in tandem getting their horses ready.

Finally, Nathan finished saddling Newton, and then he began to saddle Serena, talking to her gently, in low tones the whole time.

Bill walked in as Nathan was telling Serena that Millicent was missing her too, and everything was going to be alright.

Bill smiled, as somehow, Nathan seemed soothed by his own words, as much as Serena.

"Here, let me help with that," offered Bill as he tied Fireball to the Stall next to where Nathan had tied Newton.

As soon as they finished Serena's tack, Nathan led her out to the central corridor, where Allie was now talking with Newton and Fireball.

"Here, Allie let me help you up."

"No thanks, Dad, I don't need it!"

"Serena's big, Allie. You can't reach her by yourself," warned her Father.

But Allie didn't seem concerned. She simply pulled a little hidden footstool out and clucked to Serena, who instantly sidled up next to her stall, by where Allie had placed the stool.

Bill and Nathan watched as Allie got up on the stool and masterfully stretched to hug the saddle with both hands, proudly hoisting herself right up onto Serena, with seemingly very little effort.

Her Father was amazed.

"Allie, where did you learn to do that?"

"Momma taught me. We practiced every day when we came to see the horses," she smiled.

"Momma wanted to surprise you!"

"Well, you both have done that! What a great job you just did! Have you already ridden Serena, too?"

"Yes, a little, but don't worry. Momma stayed by my side and made sure I was okay."

"Allie, you're Momma is an excellent horsewoman and rider. I'll never worry as long as she's with you! How far have you gone?"

"She took me back and forth in here, and out in front of the livery on the street too!"

"That's great! Let's see what you can do, but Uncle Bill and I are still going to stay close, okay?"

"Sure, Dad, I'm still not as good as Momma, but she says it's going to take a lot of practice!"

"Well, Little Mountie, I'm ready! How about you?"

"Ready, Uncle Bill," grinned Allie, looking a whole lot more comfortable on the big horse with her newfound confidence than her Father would have ever imagined.

He couldn't help but proudly smile.

Of course, Millicent would have been training Allie each time they visited the Livery while he had been forced to stay inside!

She wasted no time and knew Allie wanted to ride more than anything.

With his thoughts, his crooked grin couldn't help but make an appearance, as the thought of Millicent patiently teaching Allie the basics of horsemanship warmed his very heart.

Yes, knowing his beautiful Fiancee, he should have already figured this out.

She had simply and quietly, without even saying, given them both yet another beautiful gift…


In her Suite's Bedroom, Millicent hung up her still blood-stained fur, but was so emotionally exhausted she didn't bother to change out of her boarding clothes.

Tom had mentioned something about their Evening meal, but Millicent couldn't even think that far ahead.

For now, she just needed to be alone.

She propped Allie's painting up on the nightstand by her bed, where she could clearly see it, and laid her Daughter's letter out in front of it, smoothing the somewhat wrinkled pages.

Then she curled up on her bed with Nathan's poetry, reaching to pull a coverlet over her, as though she was wrapping herself in his warmth.

She opened his book, and an envelope addressed 'To My Darling' fell out.

She lifted the flap of the envelope and unfolded the page, smiling at his distinctive artistic handwriting. Growing up, she and Richard had teased him about his artsy style of lettering. To which he had always answered with a chuckle, "Hey, at least give me something! Colleen got the real art gene, I only got the writing gene!"

And he had, in more ways than one!

"My Dearest Darling,

To say I love you doesn't begin to cover what I feel for you.

You are my everything.

Everything I've ever dreamed of. But so much more. In every possible way.

As difficult as our parting is today, always know it is a means to an end.

A glorious end, which is really a most magical beginning leading to our own happily ever after.

The two of us as one, in every way.

The three of us as a real Family.

I long for that day.

Make no mistake, marriage to you will be my heaven on earth.

And no, I'm not naïve enough to believe all will be smooth sailing our whole lives through. No life ever is. But I do know this: we will always have our love to get us through whatever comes.

We will make it through stronger together while continuing to fall more and more in love with each other.

For a love like ours can only deepen with each day, as it already has done so. How, I can't even comprehend, as each day I think it is impossible to love you more. But, yet I do.

I no longer can imagine even living without you.

"How Shall I keep my soul

From touching yours? How shall I

Lift it up beyond you to other things?

Ah, I would gladly hide it

In darkness with something lost

In some silent foreign place

That doesn't tremble when your deeps stir.

Yet whatever touches you and me

Blends us together the way a bow's stroke

Draws one voice from two strings.

Across what instrument are we stretched taut?

And what player holds us in his hand?

O sweet song." (*55)

It's the joyful song of our love, Mil, stretched taut across the miles. It is God who gave us each other and watches over us, holding us in His Hand. He will not fail us.

We are each other's half, soul-mates, the concept as old as time, going back to Plato's Symposium, where the philosopher, Aristophanes speaks of mirror souls. (*56)

Grieve briefly, my Darling, but don't be sad at our parting continuously, instead, when possible, bask in the joy of our tremendous love, our lives' greatest gift.

I am grieving too, but I give you my word, I will do my very best to do the same.

I know my asking you to not deboard the train to call us, is making it very difficult for us both right now, and I'm sure for Allie, as well. I do apologize, but I also know it is the right thing to do. Because your safety means more to me than anything else. You mean more to me, and to Allie, than anything else!

So, although this sacrifice of two empty nights without two loving phone calls loom large before us, we will make up for them, beginning as soon as you reach your other home, which is now our 'other' home, as well!

Give your Parents, Essie, Hendrix, and Albert my love, knowing that you have my love with you always.

Your Soon-to-Be Husband,

Nathan"

Millicent's tears stopped. She didn't know that they wouldn't come again, but for now, they had stopped, as her mind attempted to do exactly as Nathan had asked, concentrating on their 'tremendous love.'

A soft, wide, fulfilled smile came to her face, filling her heart to overflowing with their love.

Shivers of warmth radiated through her entire body, warming her very soul, now realizing she would soon hear the sounds of Nathan's and Allie's voices filling her heart!

Yes, there would definitely be much brighter days ahead...


The day had been long, but they had made it through the pain of saying goodbye.

Night had finally and unceremoniously arrived, wafting its calm and stillness over them.

Their first night without Millicent.

Nathan and Allie found themselves more in need of each other than ever before.

For theirs was a common loss.

"Allie, you did a great job riding Serena this afternoon. I'm really proud of you! And I promise I'll step in for your Momma and keep working with you over this next month, so it will get easier and easier."

His arm was wrapped around his Daughter as they sat on the settee together in their rowhouse.

Nathan reached to sweetly kiss the top of her head.

The quietness of no Millicent and no Bill was almost overwhelming, but Bill knew deep down, Nathan and Allie needed this time alone together.

Allie was wearing Millicent's lacy pink nightgown, which both rattled and calmed Nathan. Rattled him in that he knew Millicent wasn't actually there but calmed him in that her scent surrounded Allie and him, like a part of her was still really there with them.

Both, earlier, had tried to eat the light dinner Nathan had cooked, but they mostly played with their food, neither of them having much of an appetite.

They had cleared the dishes and cleaned the kitchen together, but in silence, each alone in their own thoughts, both missing Millicent in their own way.

Even Nathan couldn't help but think how much better it would be if they could just hear Millicent's voice on the telephone, as though it were a lifeline.

But because of his own insistence, they were going to have to wait for a couple of nights while she was still on the train.

Although after what happened today with the photographers and reporters, Nathan knew more than ever, that he had been right to be overly cautious.

"Dad, why did those men take our pictures today?"

"Well, at least they didn't get to take the film with them. So technically, no pictures!"

A part of him hoped that would suffice, but Nathan knew Allie needed more.

The 'more' he had promised Millicent he would give her.

He sighed deeply and began, not knowing exactly what he was going to say to his Daughter, although he knew he had to pave the way for her as related to this new life they were about to enter.

He knew in Montreal before the Wedding the media would be at fever pitch, and somehow, he had to begin to prepare this child he loved so much.

"Allie, remember how your Momma explained that her Father, your new Grandfather, is a well-known Man?"

Allie nodded.

"But why did those people want to take pictures of us? Because we were with Momma?"

"Yes, because of that. Your new Grandfather is a very important Business Man, which means people want to know about his life and his Family's lives. And now, because we are going to be a part of that Family, we will be included in the good parts as well as the hard parts. Today was a hard part, Allie. Honestly, I don't know why photographers want to take our pictures and reporters want to write about us, except to sell newspapers."

"But why would we sell newspapers?"

"I suppose, sometimes people look at other people and wish they had what those people have, not knowing that nothing is ever perfect. I'm afraid for whatever reason, there will be times like today, that photographers try to take pictures and reporters try to get a story about us. But what I want you to know is what's much more important than any of that, and no matter what these photographers and reporters do to us, we are still the same people we've always been, Allie. Because of your Momma, we may have and get to do more things, but they're just things. We don't love her because of those things. We love her because of the wonderful person she is."

"I know! She's the best!"

"She is, and she's as down to earth as anyone I know, with her head on straight, just like yours. She knows it's what's on the inside and how you treat other people that counts, not whether or not you have money or things. It's our job to stay that way too, humble just like her. We should never think we're important, because of things, because we're not. It's what's in our hearts that's important and how we treat other people."

"But Dad, aren't we just who we are no matter what?"

"Yes, Allie, we are. I am the person my Parents raised me to be, and you are the person I'm raising you to be. But sometimes things change people, especially money and material things, and we can't allow that to happen."

"But things are just things, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are, and it's important for us to remember that. We, ourselves are no more important than anyone else no matter what we have or don't have. It's just that being with your Momma, means we are a part of all this too. The fun and the not so fun things. We have to learn to support her and each other, through these things. And it's my job to protect you both as much as I can. Do you understand?"

Allie sighed.

"I guess I do. But I'm not sure I know how to deal with these people. I mean what if I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing…."

"You don't have to say or do anything! Just be your usual smiling self. Just always be yourself, Sweetheart."

"But I think I would be scared by myself."

"That's why Momma and I or some other adult Family Member will always be with you, Allie. To protect you from things like today. Know that we will always see that you are safe. You know that, don't you? That's why your Uncle Kyle and Uncle Lance are staying with us. To help keep us safe, in case something like today happens again."

"And that's why Uncle Tom and Uncle Matt had to go with Momma?"

"That's right. Your Momma and I both know this is a lot for you to take on, Allie. This changes our lives a lot, where we won't always have the freedom we used to have, especially when we travel and when we're in Montreal."

"I already know we have to have my Uncles with me. And I guess I understand why a little more. I've thought about what happened today a lot. I guess it's just something we have to do, because if Momma has to do it, I know we can do it too. Because Dad, she's the love of your life, and she's my Momma, too! We have to take care of her! She's the one God gave us to make us a perfect Family!"

Nathan wasn't exactly sure where Allie had heard the term 'love of your life,' but he smiled slightly and continued, not wanting to be distracted.

"That's absolutely right. But, how do you know that, Allie?"

"Because I prayed ever since that day we went fishing together. I prayed you'd fall in love with Auntie Millicent and that she'd be my Momma. I even prayed you would go to Montreal to see her. And God gave her to us. Won't God take care of us?"

Nathan was humbled, overcome with his Daughter's wisdom.

He was never quite sure who was teaching who, where Allie was concerned!

Isaiah 11:6 came to his mind.

'The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.' (*57)

"When you put it that way, Allie, yes, you are so right. God will take care of us! He absolutely will!"

He hugged his Daughter more tightly.

"Your Momma and I pray for you constantly. We know God WILL always be there to help you with this Allie, always. I'm so proud that you know it, too, Sweetheart. And your Momma will be proud, too, as soon as we tell her in just two days-time on our very first phone call."

"I can't wait!"

"See there will be brighter days ahead, real soon!"

"I miss her so much! I wish it was tonight, Dad. I just want to hear her voice," she whispered wistfully.

"So do I, Allie. So do I…"


Thank you, Sabrina Wernetshammer, for gifting the beautiful translations of Rilke's Works from German to English – amazing!

(*55) Poems of Rainer Maria Rilke, 'Love Song,' 1918, Public Domain

(*56) Plato's Symposium, Philosophical Text by Plato, 385-370BC, Published in English, 1795, Public Domain

(*57) Isaiah 11:6, King James Version, Holy Bible, Public Domain