Chapter 67: An Unexpected Interruption

After Nathan tucked Allie into bed, he found himself both drained and exhausted from their difficult day, but desperately needing some fresh air.

So, he walked quietly down the stairs, grabbed his long dark coat, put it on, and reached for his tattered leather gloves, then walked out on the front porch, putting them on.

"Lance, need to stretch my legs! If you don't mind listening for Allie, I think I'll walk a bit."

"But Chief…"

"I will be fine! I'll be close by. You'll even be able to see me from here!"

Lance knew Tom wouldn't like this at all, but what was he to do? The Chief was adamant, while his own Boss was miles away on the Train, protecting Millicent. Besides he was sure the Chief wasn't about to take no for an answer!

Nathan patted Lance's shoulder, and with a wink, started walking toward the pond...


In a strange way, facing the spot where he was shot was something he had to do.

It had been too much for Millicent. She hadn't been ready. And he understood that perfectly. He truly did.

He wasn't even sure he was ready.

He only knew he was missing her more than he had ever imagined, and somehow, he had to refocus at least part of his energy on completely healing, for Millicent's sake, and for their Wedding.

That included healing emotionally, as well as physically.

The nightmares had been fewer and further between. She wouldn't have left had they not been. But they hadn't gone away completely, either.

Each one still cut through him like a knife, leaving his body convulsed in torrents of sweat, interspersed by what he knew, from experience, had been chilling screams into the night.

He hated that Millicent had seen him go through that.

Watching his emotional turmoil was an even worse agony for her, horrifically prolonging the physical event instead of allowing them to put the whole thing firmly behind them.

She had been with him during the horrible trauma of the actual shooting, never leaving his side during or after.

She had even gladly taken responsibility for fully taking care of him, feeding him, cleaning his angry wound time and time again, keeping his medications straight, doing whatever was necessary for him to heal.

Hadn't that been enough for her to have suffered through?

As he walked alone, he was acutely aware of not having her by his side. There was a physical pain inside him, a longing for her. Which was every bit as undulating as the stabbing pain he had felt from the bullet.

She had always been an important part of his life for practically as long as he could remember. But in one short month, she had grown to be such a significant part of him that he felt rudderless without her. Incomplete.

As though he was floundering in her absence, fighting to even breathe.

He had been strong today for Allie, but now he was truly alone, and he felt almost panicked at having to adjust to this unwanted, but necessary, solitary time, knowing Millicent was already so very many miles away!

"Why am I pushing myself?"

But he knew the answer.

"Because I'm afraid. Afraid of being alone. Afraid of being without her."

And he was.

He evened his breathing, forcing himself to calm, and just before he reached the dock, he sat down on the cold ground looking out over it, remembering.

But it was the oddest thing!

He wasn't remembering the shooting.

He was remembering that exquisite night.

Every sense, sight, sound, and nuance flooded over him.

He was remembering her, their intimate feelings, and even the perfect night that had surrounded them.

Just as though she were there with him, right now.

He smiled gently as he remembered, when they left his home, helping her with her scarf, her hat, her gloves.

And he remembered enfolding her into her warm white fur before they had stepped out into the cold.

She had, in turn, tenderly wrapped his scarf around his neck, then smiled knowingly as she held his worn gloves for him to put on.

By the time they had fully dressed in their winter outer garments to protect against the bitter cold, and actually left the house, there was a brand new, blustery snow falling.

But not even that had deterred Millicent.

She was so thrilled with the added bonus of the winter snowfall, they simply went back in and changed from their shoes into their boots, and laughing, they started their walk all over again!

He remembered the beautiful full moon splattering its light over the freshly fallen snow, untainted by neither man nor animal, leaving the night with a surreal 'poster card' feeling, there for them alone to enjoy.

As though nothing else existed in the world except them.

The freshness, the newness, the purity of it all.

She had said it looked like a fairyland and it had!

Their own private, perfect fairyland, showered in light from the brilliant full moon and twinkling stars overhead.

It had been so cold, he had been concerned and asked her if she was warm enough.

She had simply snuggled into him, assuring him that 'now' she was.

They had walked with their arms wrapped tightly around each other, supporting each other in the snow, as they looked up at the millions of stars together, sauntering along as slowly as they could, savoring every single moment, trying to make their walk last as long as possible.

As words came spilling from his mouth, he had told her she was his Sun, his Moon, his Stars.

His everything.

And he had meant it.

Because she was and always would be.

He remembered each and every word of love they had spoken between them that night.

Each touch, each tender stolen kiss.

He remembered the feeling of warmth that emanated around them, despite the chilling cold. Of feeling complete. Of feeling treasured.

And he remembered how very much aware he was of her being his brightest treasure.

Oddly, he had been particularly aware of what she had brought into his life that night, only seconds later to have it almost snuffed away.

But it was the rapturous kiss just before everything happened that was indelibly planted in his memory.

A kiss that had been more than either dreamed a kiss could be, with all their senses overflowing, sweeping them into their own world of love.

And then the moment of disquiet came flooding back over him.

The moment of both certainty and uncertainty.

That was the exact moment Nathan had suddenly known with certainty that something in the dark night was very off, yet it was with uncertainty that he hadn't known what!

Without hesitation, he threw Millicent to the snowy ground in an instant, just before the shot reverberated through the night, splitting their perfect world apart, launching the calm that had surrounded them into sheer terror.

And there, this time without grief thankfully, his thoughts stopped.

Instead, he found himself placing his hand in his right pocket, having no idea whatsoever why.

His eyes widened, as his fingertips touched something cold, yet his heart started racing for he knew exactly what it was, as he curled it around his fingers.

Warmth instead of cold flooded through him, as he pulled out his hand with the icy thing in it, opening his eyes enough to see it glisten under the moonlight.

Just as the stars had twinkled that night in the skies, a million sparkles came to life in his hand.

And with it, Millicent's smile came alive before him.

"Oh, Millicent Alexandria Bradford!"

He brought the piece to his lips and kissed it, clutching it back tightly, securely, into his hand.

It was her diamond bracelet, which she had worn each day since she had turned sixteen years of age.

A band of tiny, old mined diamonds that always encircled her wrist and danced in the light with any movement of her arm.

They had been set so intricately, that they just looked au naturel, minus any cumbersome setting surrounding them. Just a chain of tiny diamonds that lay against her skin.

Feminine, like Millicent. Indestructible, like Millicent. Priceless, like Millicent.

The bracelet had been a beloved Family Memento from her Auntie Luciana, which had been passed down from her own Mother, Millicent's Paternal Grandmother.

How Millicent was going to explain its absence, he had no idea whatsoever!

Without a doubt, Auntie Luciana would immediately notice its absence, and one never crossed Auntie Luciana, not even if you were Victoria Bradford, Mistress of the House and Doyenne of all Canadian Society!

Auntie Luciana ruled over all, indomitably and without question.

But Millicent had wanted him to keep this treasured piece as a part of her, and so she had been brave and left it here.

He knew she was reminding him of their special night with all the glistening stars!

This very night he was now remembering.

She was also reminding him of their bright and beautiful future together.

And he realized, along with her complete trust, so evident in this gift, he was no longer afraid.

Not of being separated from her, and not of being shot.

They were going to make it through this absence of each other.

Because they weren't truly absent from one another at all.

Their hearts were entwined, as surely as ivy entwines around anything it comes in contact with, and as surely as this strand of tiny diamonds entwined around his fingertips.

He was now sure that he would never truly be alone again.

Not as long as he and his beautiful Millicent drew breath…


"Miss, would you like to have your Dinner in the Dining Room, or shall I have something sent here to the Suite, instead?"

"I'm sorry, Tom. I'm just not up for Dinner. You go, and enjoy!"

"Why don't I have something delivered for you first?"

"Thank you, but no need. I'm really not that hungry."

"Still, it won't hurt for you to have a plate of hot food! You haven't eaten since breakfast, and I'm not sure you even ate much of that! At least, let me send you something, in case you decide you want a bite later!"

"If you insist, Tom!"

Tom looked at the menu for tonight, and knowing her preferences, called the Dining Room to place an order, while Millicent started preparing for bed.

She ran steaming hot water into the tiny tub, adding bubble bath, then tied up her hair into a careless knot on top of her head, brushed her teeth, and stepped into the pool of practically scalding water, hoping it would soothe the pain of her day away.

Her fair skin instantly turned a reddish-pink, as she laid her head back and allowed the soothing bubbles to engulf her and travel up to cover her neck.

The water's heated warmth seeped through her body, as she started to relax somewhat.

She was doing better than she imagined, but that wasn't because there was no pain.

There was intense pain.

And there had been from the moment of the Couple's parting earlier this morning from the rowhouse.

Although receiving Nathan's letter this afternoon had helped her so much to gain perspective, she was still missing him, along with Allie, desperately, in the form of a sharp physical pang, that simply wouldn't go away.

A pang she was probably going to have to learn to live with for the duration of their separation.

Hopefully, she would be so busy in Montreal with all her chores, their separation would at least be bearable.

She closed her eyes, and surprisingly, her mind went back to that night when everything went black and still in her world.

The night of the shooting.

She tried to shut her thoughts out, but her body relaxed further, as surprisingly, her thoughts took her to all the beauty and romance of that night, almost shutting out the horror that had followed.

It had been a perfect night up until that dreaded moment.

A most romantic night, that encapsulated their love story perfectly.

And that part she would always remember.

It was the thought of the exquisite perfection of that most romantic night that, in fact, prompted her to relive the all-consuming kiss they had shared, without the trepidation of what was to come.

And what a kiss it had been, almost ethereal, as though they had been floating through time and space.

Something had changed with that kiss.

She wasn't sure what.

She only knew that whatever it had been was glorious, reverent, and most profound!

Without reason, it had connected them together even more intimately.

She could feel his strong arms around her, his warm lips on hers, his breath blending into hers.

And that now, she could feel every single impression all over again, somehow strengthened her.

She hadn't lost Nathan permanently or the memories they shared. She had only lost his physical presence for a short time. Perhaps, had she been able to speak with him tonight, all this might have even been easier.

But sadly, that wasn't an option now, and she knew deep down, Nathan had been right in asking her to stay safely on the train.

Still, it made everything so much harder!

Her thoughts meandered back to that night; but this time, instead of romance, to the horror that could have ended everything.

She remembered how incredibly safe she had felt that night in his arms, knowing now that it was his quick-thinking that had truly kept her safe.

If only it had kept him safe too!

But with that painful thought, she felt as though God was chiding her heart.

And she knew she deserved the chastisement.

God had allowed Nathan to survive that shooting. In that way, He HAD kept him safe. And, truly, she was beyond grateful for that!

Acknowledging that fact, she immediately prayed a prayer of thanks, right there in her bath, but with a plea for one other gift.

"Dear Father, I cannot thank You enough for saving Nathan that night, for allowing his wound to be non-life-threatening, and for giving him back to Allie and me. I have one more thing to ask You related to that night, however, that really, when I think about it, is not just one, but two different things. Please bring Nathan back to his full strength, and please take away his emotional scars still lingering from that night. I ask so that he can move forward unscathed by this bullet that harmed him, that he can truly put this in his past, without the reoccurrence of the nightmares that have raged through him, night after night. I know that You, and only You, have the power to do this, to heal him completely and make him whole, as medicine and we ourselves have failed. In your Name, I pray, and give this to You!"

It would be a prayer emblazoned on her heart, that she would repeat night after night until there was a definitive answer one way or the other.

She opened her eyes and smiled at the overwhelming peace that was filling her.

The Train suddenly lurched, then forcefully chugged up an incline, causing the crystal sconce by her mirror to jangle in the light, creating prisms of scattered light throughout the room.

She smiled again, dreamily, thinking of how her Diamond Bracelet had reminded her of the stars from that night, and how, on a whim, she had felt impressed to leave it in Nathan's coat pocket, as a physical part of her he could carry with him till they saw each other again!

She wondered if he had found it yet, although she wasn't worried. She knew he would eventually find it. And she knew he would also know what she was trying to say, and trying to do.

Perhaps Auntie Luciana wouldn't understand it, but that was a totally different matter!

She also knew Nathan would keep the piece of jewelry safe for her.

She reached for a huge towel to dry herself off and then wrapped herself in the plush robe that the Train provided, starting her short trek to bed.

But as she walked from the bathroom, she noticed a round brown box she hadn't remembered seeing before, and knelt down by it, pulling it out and lifting the top from it.

She couldn't help but let out a little cry, as her hand flew to her mouth!

"Oh, Nathan! Your Campaign Hat! Your favorite one. The one you've had since the Academy!"

She knew because of how worn it was, and also because he had once shown her his identification that had been embroidered inside the hat in Serge Red.

That had been so all the Recruits could tell their hats apart!

She lifted the hat to her lips and kissed the brim, smoothing her hand over both the brim and the crown tenderly, and then she carefully laid it on the nightstand in front of Allie's painting.

"Now, this piece of you will accompany me to Montreal, leaving me no longer alone. Thank you, my Love! More than you can know!"

She would sleep much easier now.

She was sure of it!

That is if she could sleep at all.

She stooped to open her largest trunk, to find one of her nightgowns she had placed in a large shelf-like pocket that lined the top lid, as she did so, all she could see was a brilliant flash of red!

She gasped, in the most delightful of ways, with her eyes shining just like her diamond bracelet.

She had not dared hope.

He had not only sent his favorite hat, but he had also given her the most wonderful gift he could have possibly given her!

This, she knew was his beloved Serge, the one he had worn through the years, from the very beginning of his Service. Oh, the stories it could tell! Along with his first Campaign Hat, she knew this was a part of him, a most significant part of him!

She brought the Uniform Jacket to her face, closing her eyes, and drowning her face in it, as, smiling, she breathed in his leathery, woodsy scent.

She was never so grateful to receive a gift in her entire life. For this was far more than just a material thing. This was Nathan's most important uniform, his favorite uniform, a key, integral piece of him.

It was a gift from his heart.

And he was entrusting her to keep it for him!

Just as she had done with her bracelet.

She didn't want to put the Uniform down for a second, but she needed to change into her nightgown, so she laid it gently across her bed, and quickly rummaged through her gowns, choosing a white lacy one.

She threw off her robe, slipping into her dainty nightgown in one sweep, then anxiously laid down in her bed, pulling his Serge up around her.

Mingling with her lace, the rough fabric warmed her, his scent comforted her, his thoughtfulness and his love enveloped her, and in total bliss, without realizing, she closed her eyes, soon falling deeply asleep with visions of Nathan, flashing ever-present throughout her dreams.

Her constant.

Her tower of strength.

Her Love…


Strengthened with Millicent's bracelet held tightly in his hand, Nathan's steps were lighter returning home.

"Good night, Sir," said Lance, with great relief.

The Chief had made it home safely.

"Good night, Lance. Try to get some rest!"

As he turned out all the lights downstairs and started up to his room, he checked in on Allie once more, then turned to open his own door.

While preparing himself for bed, his thoughts were solely of Millicent.

He had carried her bracelet upstairs with him, still clutched in his hand, and for the first time, as he turned to set it on his nightstand, he saw her bottle of perfume along with her favorite white silk scarf that she had left there for him.

A broad smile came over his face!

"Oh, Millicent! I needed this so badly!"

He sat down on the edge of his bed like a kid at Christmas, and pulled the glass stopper from the pretty glass bottle, causing the scent of her perfume to fill his room, soothing him in a way he hadn't thought possible.

He ran his calloused fingertips over the white silk, so soft even to his rough touch, when he noticed the gift box under it.

Taking the box, he untied the black silk ribbon and quickly peeled off the masculine brown and black patterned paper wrapped around it.

Under the box top and tissue, there was a brand-new pair of black dress leather gloves, something he desperately needed but had put off purchasing.

He couldn't help but chuckle.

Laying below them was a letter, which he opened with the beginnings of an expectant smile on his face.

"My Darling Nathan,

I am hoping you and Allie have made it through our first day apart, surrounded by my love.

For it is all-encompassing, and it is yours!

Thank you for the most wonderful visit!

You made it perfect for me from the moment we left Montreal.

So many joyful times we've shared. So much love. So many treasured gifts of every kind.

And so many dreams for our future, full of hope.

It is that hope for our future and all our great memories that I want both you and Allie to focus on.

We have come through much in our short time together, and it has all made us stronger, preparing us for our marital union, in a much deeper, more polished way than we could have been otherwise.

The leather gloves, my Darling, are to caress and protect those strong hands of yours which I love so much. Our hands belong together, but since I can't be holding them myself for a bit, I thought these could do the job for me. I noticed yours were quite worn, so I found these on our trip to Union City.

When you wear them, know I am holding your hands, offering you my warmth, and loving you always.

Remember, this parting is for the sole purpose of coming back to each other as quickly as possible, and becoming Husband and Wife together on New Year's Eve, our Wedding Day!

And for that, I cannot wait.

I promise to work diligently over the next few weeks, in order to pave the way for our new life together as both a Couple and Family.

Although I must say, we are already a Family, Nate, and for that, I am most grateful!

Till we are together again, my Love, every single thought will be of you, for it is you who fills my heart.

I leave you with part of our Wedding Scripture: Ruth 1:16-17

"And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me. (*58)

I love you, my Darling, with all my heart.

Give Newton, Serena, and Cookie kisses.

And give Allie both hugs and kisses as often as you can, for the both of us!

Most importantly, stay safe for our Daughter and me!

Forever yours,

Millicent"

He couldn't help the tears that came, but a smile of contentment filled his face as he finished getting ready for bed.

Now he could rest!

When he laid down in his sleeping attire, he pulled her scarf to his pillow, and holding it close, breathed in her scent, as dreams of her floated through his tired mind, comforting him beyond his hopes.

His constant.

His very life.

His Love...


Nathan had gotten up early and fixed Eggs, Bacon, and Toast for Breakfast, along with Juice and Milk for Allie.

They had said their prayers and talked a little, yet he noticed his Daughter still wasn't eating much.

"How did you sleep, Allie?"

"Better than I thought. Momma's nightgown helped. It was like she was hugging me all night long!"

"I know what you mean, Sweetheart!" thinking of her white silk scarf he had held onto all through the night!

"Dad, where did you get the new gloves?"

He had laid them on the table, so he wouldn't forget to place them on the front Hall Tree, as he was wearing his uniform gloves today.

Headquarters had worked it out with Bill to use part of his Office till Nathan's new Office was ready for him.

Although supposedly, he was only going to be sorting through files today, he had still dressed in his brand new Uniform, attempting to put some much-needed order to this day that felt so empty without Millicent's presence.

It warmed his thoughts that he would be using the rooms that would soon belong to Millicent, the rooms she had already used while working with Bill.

"Your Momma bought them for me when we were in Union City! It was really nice of her to think of getting them."

"I'll say! Dad your old dress gloves are so ragged and worn, you might as well have not bothered wearing them!"

"Hey! They weren't that bad," he frowned in mock disdain. "Just well-loved!"

Allie laughed.

"Sorry, Dad! Even Florence said she was going to order you a pair and donate them to the cause!"

"Well, your Momma beat her to it! Your Eggs okay?"

"Yes, Sir! I'm just still not that hungry."

"Allie, you have to eat so you can get through your school day!"

"I know. It's just…I don't know. But hey, you didn't eat much either!"

"What do you say you and I have a Father-Daughter Date tonight at the Café?"

"Really, Dad?"

"Really! I'll pick you up at 7 PM. Wear a real pretty dress, too!"

"But what will you be in?"

"My Dress Serge, of course!" he grinned.

"That means you're gonna work all day, doesn't it? And Momma said you're supposed to rest!"

"No, for your information, I have an afternoon nap scheduled. But I also have to meet with Faith this morning to rehab my shoulder! I tell you what. I'll reschedule my nap, so I can change just before we leave for the Cafe! How does that sound?"

"Perfect! Dad, we get to talk to Momma tomorrow!"

"We sure do! Don't we? That's going to be so great, Allie! Hurry and finish your bacon, and I'll walk you to school before I meet with Faith…"


Nathan was glad to have the rooms in Bill's Office to himself today, as Bill was traveling to Buxton to review a case with a Judge there.

He still wasn't ready to talk about missing Millicent! And Bill had a way of prying, without any concern of privacy. Something Nahan wasn't at all quite up to dealing with yet!

He was working on sorting his many files when all of a sudden he glanced up to find Elizabeth standing in front of his borrowed desk.

He hadn't even heard her come in.

"Oh, hello, Elizabeth! I'm sorry, but you've missed Bill. He's in Buxton on business."

"I know. It's you I came to see!"

Nathan couldn't fathom why, or even how she seemed to know he would be here, but after getting over the initial surprise, he motioned for her to have a seat.

"Would you like a cup of Coffee? I made it, so it's not quite as strong as Bill's usual."

"Yes, thank you! That would be nice…" she laughed, a little nervously.

Nathan noticed but moved ahead to get their Coffee.

"Sugar and Cream?" he asked, calling from across the large room.

"Honey and a splash of Cream if you have it," she called back.

"That's how Millicent…" then he stopped cold, not wanting whatever this was to become personal.

He added the Honey Millicent had taken to Bill's Office for her own Coffee, as well as the fresh Cream that Bill set out on the tray each day, to her cup, and poured himself a cup of unembellished Black Coffee.

"Here you go," and then he sat down behind his new borrowed desk.

"Are you setting up shop here?" she asked.

"Only until my new Office is opened," he explained. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm afraid I owe you an apology," she said quietly.

"I'm not aware that you do."

"Well, I do. It was inappropriate of me to stop you yesterday when Millicent had just left."

His eyes clouded, and his jaw set firmly.

He really didn't wish to discuss any of this with anyone, much less Elizabeth.

So, he nodded instead.

"Thank you for that, Elizabeth," he said the words kindly but didn't elaborate.

"I should have been asking you how you and Allie were, but instead I was trying to ask you something totally self-serving. And for that, I am truly sorry."

She wasn't going to let whatever this was go.

"Apology accepted," but again he didn't elaborate, as he was perceptive enough to know that she wanted to know the private details of Millicent's departure, and he wasn't going there.

"What may I help you with, Elizabeth?" he asked for the second time.

This time, although she hesitated, she moved forward in her seat and began.

"I was thinking, with Millicent gone, you won't have a date for the Mountie Ball, and I thought…I thought that I should go with you. You see, I never got to attend the Ball with Jack, and I always wanted to go. And since Millicent can't attend, I thought I could sort of fill in for her, of course."

He was dumbfounded, and although he didn't know the right words, even had he known them, they wouldn't have come out.

So, instead, he remained silent, causing her to misread the look on his face.

"Surely Millicent wouldn't begrudge us that, Nathan! A simple convenient non-romantic date between friends. She would have nothing to be jealous about, whatsoever!"

Something boiled inside of him, and he set his jaw firmly, garnering every strength he had in order to choose the correct words.

"I don't wish to discuss my private life, Elizabeth, with anyone. But since you apparently do, I will unequivocally tell you Millicent wouldn't begrudge me anything, nor would she be jealous of anyone, not even a 'date' as you call it between friends."

She smiled, as though he was accepting her offer.

"Good..." she began, which Nathan ignored.

"What I will tell you is this. While Millicent would not care in the slightest for you to accompany me to the Mountie Ball, I would care, very deeply."

She looked up at him, not expecting this at all.

"I could never, ever do that to Millicent, Elizabeth. Not with you, nor with any Friend! If it's so important to you to go to The Mountie Ball, I will be more than happy to procure two VIP tickets for you and Charles or whomever else you choose to attend the Ball with. But it will not be with me, Elizabeth."

He said the words in the kindest tone and with the kindest expression on his face, but there was a confidence and firmness in his voice, a resoluteness in his features, that Elizabeth had never heard or seen before.

She faltered, but quickly regrouped, defiantly lifting her chin.

"In that case, I would like two tickets to the Ball for both Charles and me. That way we'll be all proper, and you can at least save a dance or two for me! Now that that's settled…"

He interrupted her with a forceful calm tone to his voice, that rattled her.

Apparently, this wasn't going as planned.

"Actually, that won't be possible, either, Elizabeth. I have agreed for strictly business purposes, as I did last year, to officially escort Mrs. Anderson to the Ball, since her Husband, the Commissioner is always kept busy during the Gala. I agreed at the Commissioner's personal request, but only after Millicent urged me to do so."

All of which was true, but he knew he couldn't leave it at that.

His voice got even softer, even more compassionate, but every bit as firm, if not more so.

"But you should know, Elizabeth, even if that weren't the case, there is no reason that you should be interested in dancing with me now, nor I with you. You have a partner, now. I have a partner now. And whether those partners are absent or present, the same decorum still applies."

"You really, truly love her, don't you?" she asked as though shocked, and was seeing it for the very first time.

His answer was formed with intention, not to hurt, but to help, with only truth in his heart, and although Elizabeth was the last person he wanted to be discussing this with, he somehow knew he had to say the words.

That Elizabeth had to hear the words.

"With all my heart, with all my being. I am completely and irrevocably in love with Millicent."

She was visibly upset, but he didn't capitulate. And although he really didn't know what was going on with Elizabeth, he knew whatever it was didn't feel right and he wanted no part of it.

She broke down.

"It's just that I couldn't go with Jack, and I thought I could go with you…and…"

"Elizabeth, look at me. There was a time I would have loved to have taken you to the Ball. But the best I can do now is to provide you with the complimentary VIP tickets. What is really going on here?"

"I don't know what to do, Nathan! I just truly don't know what to do!"

"About what?"

"About my life. About Charles. About everything!"

Nathan sighed deeply. This wasn't at all what he had wanted to have to happen today. Or any day for that matter. But least of all when his own hurt was so fresh!

He walked to the other side of his borrowed desk and leaned against the front of it, with compassion in his heart.

"Do you love Charles, Elizabeth?"

"Yes, but…"

"But what?"

"I don't know if I'm in love with him!" she cried.

"Could it be you aren't letting yourself fall in love with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't say this to hurt you. But if you really want me to answer that question, this is the only way I know how to do so."

"I do want you to answer it!"

"I think I fell in love with Millicent the very first time I met her when we were all of ten years old. And I think I kept falling in love with her, deeper and deeper as the years went by. But, as we grew into adulthood, I never allowed myself to consciously fall in love with her for one reason or another. I kept making one senseless excuse after another. Until after I had to do a lot of soul searching. Until after I had experienced a lot of pain. And let me make this clear, I don't blame you for that pain, Elizabeth. Instead, it was your greatest gift to me. It made me see I was ready to consciously fall in love. True love. That's just a fact. You've experienced a lot of pain, too, Elizabeth. Is it just that you don't want to experience falling in love again? Or are you just afraid of it because you think it can't compare to what you had with Jack? Or do you feel you are betraying Jack if you allow yourself to fall in love again?"

She stood and threw herself into his reluctant arms, now fully sobbing.

"I'm afraid, Nathan! But I'm afraid it will be better than what I had with Jack. Because it was with you!"

"Oh, Elizabeth! With all due respect, that isn't the way to think."

How could she still be so torn? He continued thoughtfully. Praying he would find the right words.

"'Elizabeth, although it pains me to say, 'was' is the operative word here, with both Jack and me."

He said the words softly, desperately wanting her to understand, then bravely continued on.

"If what you say is true, and you want to be with Charles, then now you know what's holding you back from falling in love with him. You're comparing loves. But all loves are different, because people are different, Elizabeth. Just because you had one love, doesn't mean you are supposed to compare that love with a new love! Why can't you just let go of this prison of comparison you've put yourself into, and fall in love with Charles, letting it be whatever it is and whatever it becomes?"

"I'm afraid."

"I know only one thing. Remember the plague I carved for you? If you let fear stand in the way again, you will lose Charles, Elizabeth. Just like you lost me, and in ways, like you lost Jack, because there was fear there too, from what you've told me, even before his death."

"How do you know I will lose Charles, too?"

Nathan could see the panic on her face, and hear the fear in her voice.

He directed her back into her seat, and took the seat next to her, realizing it was now Charles she was concerned about. Thankfully, not him. And not even Jack.

Whatever else they had gone through, including this embarrassing inconvenience of today, Elizabeth was still his friend.

If it would help, he could at least give her time and perspective.

"How do I know? I'm a man, Elizabeth. I see the deep love Charles has for you in his eyes, but I also see very deep hurt. He is grieving his Wife, just like you are grieving your Husband. But his hurt goes beyond that, Elizabeth. His heart is hurting even more because of you. He loves you and is reaching out to you, pleading with you to love him too. But you aren't showing him love back. You barely acknowledge him. He's going to leave you, Elizabeth. I can see it. I can feel it. And I promise you, it will happen soon."

She looked up at him, alarm in her eyes.

"I can tell you don't want that. But you need to tell HIM you don't want that. You are the only one who can stop this, Elizabeth. The only one who can."

"But why didn't I choose Charles all those years ago?"

"Only you can answer that, Elizabeth. But it no longer matters. It's only your choice now that matters."

She looked into his eyes, knowing Nathan was thinking of her best interests, and only speaking the truth while doing his best to move her into the present.

For once, he could tell she was listening, really listening. Something changed in her eyes, what he wasn't exactly sure. But it was something akin to a combination of terror and some sort of revelation that was clearly reflected there.

So, he calmly reiterated one more time, as a calm voice representing all three involved: Jack, Elizabeth, and Charles.

"Only you, Elizabeth, have the power to change things now. But, as your Friend, I must warn you. You no longer have the luxury of time…"

(*58) Ruth 1:16-17 King James Version (KJV), Public Domain