Chapter 6 - Staring Up Right To the Ceiling
Author's Note: Ashara/Ahsoka finds out more about her past. :)
~ Amina Gila
Apparently, rebel command figured out what they're going to do about the Death Star, because everyone present at the base – except those on lookout – are called in for a briefing.
I won't deny being extremely nervous right now. Luke and Ben are both planning to take part in the space attack. I'm definitely less than enthusiastic about Luke going but as stubborn as ever, he won't change his mind. At least Ben's been in wars before so I know he can take care of himself. Han and Chewbacca are at the back of the room, planning on getting out of here as soon as they're paid, which won't be until the briefing is over since every minute counts.
And it would greatly lessen my nervousness if the plan weren't so risky. Because apparently, they'll have to go in with X-wings and try to shoot down a tiny shaft and clear the station before it blows, without being shot in the meantime.
"That's impossible, even for a computer!" protests Wedge Antilles, a pilot sitting next to us who looks about Luke's age.
"It's not impossible," Luke asserts determinedly, "I used to use bull's-eye womp rats in my T-sixteen back home. They're not much bigger than two meters."
"Man your ships!" orders Dodonna, "And may the Force be with you." The declaration signals the end of the meeting, and everyone begins to rise and file towards the exit. The tension is hanging practically tangibly in the air. I'm more than a little nervous. What if something goes wrong? And oh great, I'm going to be left behind with nothing to do but panic again, just like I was on the Death Star. Ergh.
"Come on, we better get to the hanger bay," Luke urges, standing up. I hastily follow him out of the room. Threepio and Artoo quickly catch up with us.
Shortly, we arrive back in the hangar bay where other pilots are already hurrying about, preparing their fighters for takeoff.
"Hey, look over there." I nudge my brother, monitoring towards the far side of the room where Han and Chewbacca are loading up some things as they prepare to leave.
"I was hoping he'd reconsider," sighs Luke, looking more than a little disappointed.
"It is pretty risky to stay here," I point out, "Besides, what do you expect? He's a smuggler."
He nods begrudgingly.
We cross the room over to them. "So... you got your reward and you're just leaving?" Luke inquires almost rhetorically.
"That's right," Han agrees, completely unperturbed, "I got some old debts I've got to pay off with this stuff. Even if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do you? Why don't you come with us? You're pretty good at a fight. I could use you."
"No thanks," I deadpan, "We have greater aspirations in life than running about breaking every law in existence."
"Like you're not breaking laws here."
"At least we're doing it for a reason."
"Come on!" Luke retorts, a hint of anger slipping into his voice, "Why don't you take a look around? You know what's about to happen, what they're up against. They could use a good pilot like you. You're turning your back on them."
"What good's a reward if you aren't around to use it?" Han argues, "Besides, attacking that battle station isn't my idea of courage. It's more like suicide."
Luke lets out a defeated a sigh. "All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it?"
"Hey," Han calls as we both turn to go, "May the Force be with you." I blink in surprise at the goodbye and then he chuckles before turning to get back to work helping Chewbacca.
We make our back to where the others are gathering to see Dodonna and Ben talking to each other, Leia standing nearby.
"What's wrong?" she asks with a frown as she sees the unhappy look on Luke's face.
"Oh, it's Han. I don't know, I really thought he'd change his mind," Luke sighs.
"He's got to follow his own path," Leia replies, "No one can choose it for him."
"I know, but he could be very helpful with this..." I trail off. With Ben going to help them with destroying the Death Star, I'm a little less concerned that it's going to fail. After all, he has the Force to guide him and that's something none of the Imperial pilots will have. Well, except Vader. I have no idea how he is with the Force, but he's going to be a formidable foe in the battle. That much I do know.
"Luke?! Ashara?!" a familiar voice exclaims from behind us. I whirl around to see Biggs hurrying over to us. "I don't believe it! How'd you get here? Are you going out with us?!"
"Biggs!" Luke and I exclaim simultaneously.
"Never expected to see you here," I smile.
"Of course, I'll be up there with you," my brother responds, "Listen, we've got some stories to tell..."
"Later of course. I don't think we'll have time right now," I add, eyeing the leader pilot of the one of the groups who's approaching us.
Someone comes over to compliment Luke, saying they used to know Anakin, before heading off again.
Is he really that famous? I have to look him up more later.
"You're not going to be flying, too, are you, Tiny?" asks Biggs, looking at me.
I shoot him a glare. Not that nickname again. "No, I won't be," I confirm the ridiculous notion. I've flown skyhoppers a couple of times, but I'm nowhere near as good as Luke was. Biggs hurries off as Luke prepares to climb up the ladder to his ship.
Ben suddenly approaches us. "Remember, Luke," he says, "The Force will be with you."
"Make sure you stay safe too," I caution.
Artoo beeps a goodbye as he's loaded into the socket on the ship. "Hang on tight, Artoo. You've got to come back," Threepio frets, looking up at his friend. The droid whistles again.
"That goes for you, too," I warn, pulling Luke into a tight hug.
"Of course I'll be back," he replies, hugging me back for a long moment before finally pulling away and hurrying to climb up the ladder into his ship. It's time for them to go.
I watch with increasingly worry as the fighters finally blast off out of the hangar bay, heading upwards into the atmosphere.
"Want to come to the war room with me to watch the progress?" Leia's voice breaks through my thoughts.
"Sure," I decide after a moment of consideration. At least if I have some idea what's happening, maybe I'll be a tiny bit less nervous. Maybe. Or it might just be worse. Either way, I don't think I could bare to just pace around with Luke and Ben's lives on the line and me having no idea what's going on until everything is over.
I follow Leia and Threepio back to the room where a large display screen is showing Yavin and its four moons, along with the steadily approaching Death Star. Several other commanders are in the room as well. Finally, small green dots – marking the fighters – appear around our moon. They're slowly making their way away from us, towards the menace.
"Stand-by alert," an intercom voice suddenly announces, making me jump, "Death Star approaching. Estimated time to firing range, fifteen minutes." How... comforting. In fifteen minutes from now, all our lives could be over.
I clench my fists, watching with growing fear and dread as the fighters begin to close in on the Death Star. Over the intercom, I can hear the lead pilots giving orders. In a matter of minutes, the battle is going to break lose. The green dots dive down towards the surface of the Death Star,
In the background, I can hear the constant sound of laser fire. That sound... it feels strangely far too familiar. Like I've heard it so much in the past. Which probably makes since if I really used to be a Jedi and knew Anakin. I may have fought in the Clone Wars myself.
I squirm nervously, never taking my eyes off the scanners, even if I can't see much anyway. All I can do is wait and hearing the pilots anxiously calling to each other over the comms is only making it worse.
"I'm hit, but it's not bad," my brother says finally. "Artoo, see what you can do with it. Hang on back there." Leia and I exchange tense glances. I can practically feel the worry pouring off her, only serving to increase my own fear. If his ship is damaged, it would be so much easier to be shot down and – No, just stop. He's going to be fine,I repeat over and over in my head. It's all I can do to not just... scream, right now.
"Red Six, can you see Red Five?" asks Red Leader.
"There's a heavy fire zone on this side. Luke, where are you?" demands Ben's voice. Good, at least Ben is alright. Judging from what I've heard, he seems to be having the easiest time, not that that's a surprise.
"I can't shake him!" Luke calls suddenly. No, no, no. So much for pointlessly trying to convince myself that everything is going to be fine.
"I'm on him, Luke," Wedge declares finally, "Hold on!"
"Blast it! Wedge, where are you?" Luke demands a few moments as shots ring out. Another explosion finally rings out, the TIE fighter chasing him successfully destroyed.
I barely even dare to breathe a sigh of relief. One TIE might be gone, but that doesn't mean this is over.
**w**
More and more of the Rebel fighters are being shot down, and none of them have reached the target yet. I don't even have to ask to know that there's less than a minute left now. The only ones left out there are Ben, Biggs, Wedge, and Luke.
They're all going in now, and they don't get far before Wedge is hit, and has to pull off his attack so he's not shot down.
As the fighters continue racing forwards to the destination, there's a sudden explosion as Biggs' fighter is hit, exploding. For a moment, all I can do is stare in frozen horror.
Biggs... He's dead. Gone. Just like that. Luke's best friend for years and now he's just gone. Forever.
A strange sense of numbness at his death settles over me. I don't know, maybe I'll feel more later, but now I'm panicking too much about everything else to feel much more. Luke and Ben are the only ones left and they have a less than a minute left to succeed.
"Hang on, Artoo," urges Threepio, sounding about as worried as he ever can. Leia and one of the others in the room exchange grim, worried glances.
"Use the Force, Luke," Ben says suddenly, "Let go."
"His computer's off," someone in the room suddenly observes, before turning to speak over the comms, "Luke, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm alright," he replies.
This is the last moment, and he's about to be shot. I clench my fists, heart pounding so hard I'm not convinced it isn't about to stop beating entirely.
"I've lost Artoo," Luke exclaims suddenly as more shots ring out.
Artoo? That – I can't even let myself think about that right now. He's a droid and far more easily repairable.
"The Death Star has cleared the planet! The Death Star has cleared the planet!" announces a voice over the intercom. Oh – oh no. They're in range.
And of the two remaining TIE fighters, I can feel that Vader is in one of them. No wonder all of the other pilots were so easily shot down. I can feel the dark presence out there, and it's not reaching for me this time, but I could swear he knows I'm sensing him.
All at once, another ship suddenly comes onto the scanners, shooting at the two remaining TIE fighters pursuing Luke and Ben. One of them explodes and the other is sent flying away, spinning out into space.
"You're all clear, kid!" Han's voice comes over the comm, "Now let's blow this thing up and go home!"
Finally in range, Luke fires. The torpedoes hit their mark right into the exhaust port. Luke, Ben, and the Falcon race away from the Death Star, heading back for Yavin IV.
Then all at once, the Death Star explodes. I wince at the sudden surge of alarm in the Force around me, similar to though not nearly as strong as when Alderaan was blown up.
For a moment, I can hardly believe it. We did it. We won. A strange mixture of elation at the victory, mixed with solemness over all those who died fills me.
Then all at once, everyone is moving for the door. Leia, Threepio, and I hurry for the main hangar as fast as we can where all the other Rebels seem to be flocking as well. The remaining ships glide inside, finally landing.
Practically everyone seems to be cheering or laughing as they swarm over to Luke and Ben's ships.
"Luke!" Leia and I both run over to him, pushing past everyone else as we hug him tightly.
Han runs over, and he and Luke embrace, slapping each other on the back. "I knew you'd come back!" Luke exclaims, "I just knew it!"
"Well, I wasn't gonna let you get all the credit and take all the reward," Han laughs, as Leia step up them.
"Hey, I knew there was more to you than money," she says.
I dart around them, going over to Ben where he's standing next to his ship. I can hardly believe that I really used to know him in my past life.
"I'm glad you're okay," I tell him.
Ben nods, giving me a half smile, but it looks forced. Why do I get the momentary feeling he's thinking about Vader?
"Oh no!" Luke exclaims from behind me, quickly drawing my attention back to the ship. Several people are helping lower a very damaged Artoo to the ground.
"Oh my! Artoo!" cries Threepio in alarm, "Can you hear me? Say something!" No response.
"He's been damaged too badly for that, Threepio," I reply, frowning at the damage. Something is telling me that the astromech has been damaged even worse than this before. They'll be able to repair him, I'm sure of it.
"You can repair him, can't you?" Threepio demands looking over at one of the mechanics standing by.
"We'll get to work on him right away," he assures.
"You must repair him!" the protocol droid insists, clearly still frantic, "Sir, if any of my circuits or gears will help, I'll gladly donate them."
"Apparently... Threepio can be selfless sometime," I mumble under my breath, and Luke laughs.
"He'll be alright," Luke tells the droid.
"We need to get out of this base before the Empire shows up with more forces," I hear Ben saying to Leia in the background, "No doubt the Emperor has already been informed."
"Of course," Leia agrees.
**w**
I can't sleep. At all. It's hard to believe that it's only been a couple days since Luke and I were back on Tatooine, with no hope of ever being able to leave the planet. And now Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are dead, and here we are with the Rebellion. It feels like it's been so much longer. So much has happened, so much has changed...
I roll over in the bed, slowly sitting up. As silently as I can, I slip out of bed, making my way over to the door. Leia invited Luke, Ben, and I to stay in her quarters at the base for now since we're going to be moving soon anyway.
Even if I technically probably won't be allowed to go outside at night – there may or may not be a curfew, I forgot to ask – I can still walk around in this area.
I step out into the hall, making my way into the common room. A noise freezes me in my tracks. Looking up, I can just make out Leia sitting on the couch. She's resting her head in her hands, and she's shaking slightly.
I silently cross the room, taking a seat next to her. If nothing else, at least I can try to make her feel better. Leia jumps slightly, looking up. Even with the nearly nonexistent lighting I can tell she's crying.
"How are you doing?" I ask softly. I'm not going to ask if she's alright, when she is obviously not alright.
"I'm fine," she insists pointlessly.
I'm hardly even sure how to go about making her feel better. She literally lost everything. I lost a lot in the past few days too, but it's nowhere near the same. And I don't miss anything from Tatooine at all. But I do know what would probably make me feel at least remotely better in a situation like Leia's.
I scoot a little closer to her, wrapping my arms around her. "You can talk to me about... anything if you ever want to," I tell her. She stiffens slightly at first before slowly relaxing again, hugging me in return.
"Thanks," she murmurs quietly.
"They'll pay for what they've done someday," I tell her softly. Because I know they will. It's only a matter of time.
Neither of us move from our position next to each other on the couch until the sky begins to lighten and I hear movement from down the hall. Time to get ready for the undoubtedly equally eventful day ahead.
**w**
I'm feeling almost nervous for some reason as Han, Chewbacca, Luke, and I approach the door where the honoring ceremony is being held. The doors slide open in front of us to reveal long lines of troops on either side of the room, leaving an isle in between them wide enough for us to go through. Why does almost everyone in the room seem to be human? Whatever...
At the front of the room, with several steps going up, stand several of the Rebel leaders, including Leia.
We silently walk down the aisle to the front of the room. Off to the side, I spot Threepio and a fully repaired Artoo, with Ben nearby. Everyone turns to face forwards as we arrive at the stairs and slowly ascend them.
Han and Leia exchange a smile as he, Luke, and Chewbacca stop in front of her. I stay a few more stairs down since I'm not getting anything special – I didn't exactly do anything terribly worthy of recognition anyway. Except stand by the scanners and freak out.
Leia takes a gold medal from Dodonna, placing it around Han's neck, before repeating the process with Luke and finally the Wookie.
The three of them give a slight bow before turning to face the assembled troops. Chewbacca growls happily. Artoo rocks back and forth, beeping happily.
Everyone cheers.
**w**
"Artoo, can you show us something of my father and Ahsoka?" queries Luke. The two of us are sitting opposite the droid, alone in the small bedroom. For whatever reason, the more I think about it, the more hesitant I became to tell Ben anything about what I've discovered.
It's almost as though something inside me doesn't fully trust him, for some reason. It's weirder that it feels more like an emotion of my forgotten past than what I feel now. But regardless, for now, Luke and I have decided not to mention it to anyone else.
The droid whistles questioningly. "Just... anything," I shrug. I don't care what; I just want to see something. And while we still have some private time alone. I'd rather no one else find out, which is why we agreed it's better for Threepio not to be here. He talks way too much.
Beeping again, Artoo projects a hologram, showing the inside of a fighter where Anakin is, flying alongside several other fighters. Artoo must be in position in Anakin's fighter. Seeing the holo only reminds me again of how much I miss him.
And he's dead, so I'll never see him again. It hurts cuttingly to know that this feeling will be forever. Unless I get used to it. But I don't want to stop missing him, either. It –
"Ahsoka, punch a hole for the gunships to get through," Anakin calls, as a red colored fighter flies up, moving along next to his through space. Luke is staring at the hologram, transfixed.
"I know the drill, Master," answers a voice over the comm. My voice.
The fighters drive forwards towards the surface of a planet far below. Explosions ring out in the background as they descend, now all the way through the atmosphere, not far above the actual surface. Several off the other fighters with Anakin and Ahsoka – me – are blasted apart from missiles from behind.
An explosion suddenly rings out in front of Anakin's ship and a whole swarm of the strangest looking droids I've ever seen fly through the air straight at him. I get the distinct feeling I used to hate those things. They land on the ship, beginning to scurry about.
"Uh... slight problem. Ahsoka, I've got buzz droids. How bad you get hit?" Anakin asks.
"I'm all clear," comes the reply.
"What?!" he exclaims, "You always have it easy, Snips." Wait a minute... This, I remember it. Faintly. It was right before something major happened. I'm pretty sure it was the last battle I fought alongside him.
Two of the buzz droids approach Artoo, preparing to start cutting up the ship. Oh, so that's what they do. With an angry beep, the droid blasts them away with a stream of electricity.
"Good job, Artoo," Anakin complements, who we can't even see in the hologram anymore since those stupid buzz droids are swarming everywhere. A bunch of them suddenly go flying, finally letting us actually see something useful in the hologram again.
Anakin raises a hand, throwing off the last few on the other side of his cockpit window. Oh. Why did I not even think of that?
"Someday these droids will learn they keep messing with the wrong Jedi," Anakin says. The ship continues to descend towards the ground, wobbling slightly. The hologram looks slightly clouded, almost as though smoke is obscuring it.
"Looks like you're clear," Ahsoka replies.
"Just keep watching and learning, Padawan," Anakin grins. Then he suddenly frowns.
"You're trailing smoke. What's wrong?" demands Ahsoka.
"Oh, nothing serious. Just a small malfunction," he insists, his hands moving over some of the controls. There's a sudden explosion, knocking him unconscious.
"Master?" I hear myself calling, "Master, come in! Artoo, what's going on over there?" The droid beeps. "Unconscious?" Ahsoka exclaims, "Fly back to the cruiser!"
Another whistle. "What do you mean there's something wrong with the engines."
More beeping. "Tip your wing. I'll see how bad it is."
The fighter tilts as it continues to descend far too rapidly towards the ground. "Oh, that's not good. Let's just say now would be a good time to land. Artoo, can you land the ship on that cliff ledge?" I shift nervously next to Luke. I remember what happened, vaguely, but that doesn't mean watching this is any less tense.
The droid beeps as the fighter continues plummeting towards the ground. "I don't care if the landing zone is too short!" she retorts, "Get that ship on the ground." Do I even want to know how bad it is on the bottom? I'm guessing it's probably as covered with buzz droids as the top was before Anakin threw them off.
Anakin's ship smashes into the ground hard, skidding dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, black smoke trailing behind. Dust and dirt fly everywhere as it goes. Ahsoka jumps off her fighter, landing on the edge of Anakin's, nearly falling right off again. She finally whips out a green lightsaber, slicing open the top of the fighter. Pulling Anakin out, she Force-jumps backwards out of sight of the hologram as the ship goes straight over the edge of the cliff.
The droid flies out of its spot in the fighter, just as the whole thing explodes. It flies back up over the side of the cliff. The hologram shifts to show Ahsoka standing there, next to Anakin who's still lying unconscious on the ground.
The droid beeps. "Very funny, Artoo," she says, as the droid flies to land next to them.
Anakin slowly sits up, pressing a hand to his head in confusion. "Are you okay, Master?" she queries.
"Yeah... what did I miss?"
"Oh, not much," she answers cheerfully.
"Was this common or what?" mumbles Luke. I nod, shooting him a smirk. He flashes me a slightly surprised look.
"Wait a minute... Wasn't I flying? Where's my fighter? How did I get here?" Anakin inquires, his confusion nearly comical.
"Fighter crashed. I saved the day. You're welcome," Ahsoka smirks, walking past him towards Artoo.
Artoo stops the hologram there, and it disappears.
"I wish I could have known him," murmurs Luke finally, longing clear in his voice.
I nod, the pain stabbing through me again. I can't believe he's really gone. Killed by Vader, Ben said. For whatever reason, something about that doesn't seem to ring completely true. Maybe I'm just being over suspicious about nothing. I don't know. I'm not going to mention it unless I have actual proof. It might just be paranoia.
"He would have been a great father," I say softly.
"How much do you remember?" my brother queries.
"Mostly just impressions," I respond, "But I know that for sure."
I remember him taking care of me, even if not in detail. I know he always looked out for me. I have no idea what I was to him, but he meant everything to me.
I wish I could remember everything, even if it would make me miss him far more. Maybe watching more things from Artoo will help to remember more. I can only hope that it will. Even if it only makes my longing far worse.
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