Fuutarou 4

Bzzzzz

Fuutarou wakes up to a text notification on his phone. Followed by a second one a moment later.

I hope Yotsuba isn't still awake. She needs her sleep right now.

But the text isn't from Yotsuba. It's from Nino.

Nino: Yotsuba is a child. I'm a woman. She is far too immature for a real relationship and you know it. It is plainly obvious to you every time you try to get intimate with her. You should get intimate with me instead. I'll make you a man.

Following the text is a series of pictures. Each one is Nino, laying in her bed, wearing very skimpy black lace lingerie. She is posing suggestively. The final picture of the four is the biggest offender: she is biting her lip, with two fingers caressing herself between her legs and her other hand is squeezing one of her breasts.

Fuutarou slams his phone down onto his futon and grits his teeth in anger, trying desperately to stay quiet to avoid waking Raiha.

This is going too far. I can't believe she would do something like this.

Then a strange thought creeps into his mind. He scrolls through the pictures again. He peeks back to make sure Raiha isn't awake, and pulls himself under the blanket to add extra protection against his sister seeing what he is looking at. He starts to feel guilt wash over him, but he can't resist zooming in on some of the pictures for a closer look. But it's not Nino that's he's thinking about.

The quints are identical, right? So is this what Yotsuba's body looks like? I accidentally got a quick peek during the school trip, but I couldn't see much. Is this how she would look in lingerie?

He suddenly realizes how creepy he is. And how he's laying down right next to his sleeping sister. He turns off his phone and shuts his eyes. He has trouble falling asleep, because he is distracted by feelings of anger toward Nino and guilt for leering at the pictures.

—-

The next day at school, he texts Yotsuba to speak with him in the stairwell after lunch alone. He is nervous. He spent hours thinking over how to handle this situation, and he's very unsure if he made the right choice.

As he sits on the top stair, trying his best to calm his nerves, Yotsuba scampers up the stairs and plops down right next to him, leaning against his shoulder. She is her usual bubbly self.

"Did you want to make out in the stairwell? That seems a little reckless of you, Uesugi-san!" She blushes slightly but gives her usual teasing smile.

"No. I gotta show you something. Nino is stirring up trouble."

He shows her the message and all the pictures that he got from Nino last night. He keeps his eyes on her face, trying to gauge her reaction. She doesn't seem too upset, and Fuutarou is especially surprised at how little she seems to react to the pictures. She scrolls back and reads the message slowly.

"I'm going to need you to tell your sister to never do something like this again or I'll block her permanently," Fuutarou says.

"Yeah, you're right. I will."

She sounds mostly unfazed, but there's something else in her voice. She doesn't seem upset or angry at Fuutarou, or angry at Nino. So what is it? Sadness?

"You'd better get to class," she says. "I gotta run to the restroom."

The next class starts and Yotsuba's desk is empty. Fuutarou starts to feel a little worried. He gets much more worried when he receives a text message.

Yotsuba: Sorry, but I'm feeling sick and I don't think I can study after school today. I'm really sorry. You should go home to Raiha today.

What is going on? She said 'sorry' twice, so maybe she's not mad at me? Or maybe she is? Maybe she thinks I cheated on her? I really shouldn't have shown her those pictures. I screwed up big time. After all the drama, I finally ended up dating the girl I like, and I went and screwed it up after a week. Well regardless, I definitely have to go see her. I'm definitely not going straight home like she told me to.

Fuutarou can barely focus during the rest of the school day. He feels even more guilty because the notes he is taking for Yotsuba are subpar. As soon as class ends, Fuutarou practically sprints out of the building.

"I need to see Yotsuba!" Fuutarou blurts into the intercom at the quints' apartment building.

Ichika's voice comes out in response. "Calm down, dude. She's not dying. Come on up."

Fuutarou stomps into the Nakano sisters' apartment with much less courtesy than he normally does. Ichika is lounging on the couch, and Nino is chopping vegetables. Nino winks at Fuutarou.

"Yotsuba is in her room," Ichika says. "She said she was feeling sick. You didn't knock her up, did you?"

Nino gives an exaggerated laugh. "She's way too immature to go that far. She probably doesn't have the faintest idea about sex."

Fuutarou grits his teeth in anger and ignores her comment. He stomps up the stairs to Yotsuba's door. He knocks softly. He knocks again more persistently. No answer. He starts to get nervous.

Even if she doesn't want to see me right now, I can't leave it like this. I have to apologize.

He opens the door

Please don't be naked. Please don't yell at me for barging in. And please don't be an empty room.

He sees Yotsuba is indeed in the room, sprawled out face-first on her bed. She is still wearing her uniform, despite the fact that she had left school several hours prior. She cranes her head around to look, and he can see that she has clearly been crying.

"Uesugi-san! Close the door! I don't want you to see my face right now!"

He hesitates, and decides to continue disobeying her. He walks over and carefully sits on the edge of the bed. He looks over at the open door and imagines Nino's smug grin and Ichika's teasing. He quickly shuts the door before sitting back down.

"I'm really sorry," he says. "It must have really hurt to see those pictures on your boyfriend's phone. I deleted them right after I showed them to you, but maybe I should have deleted them immediately. My intent was to be completely honest with you and avoid any situation that might make it look like I was cheating on you. I didn't want to keep a secret like that. But clearly I didn't think about how it would make you feel, and I'm sorry. Please forgi-"

"IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!" Yotsuba screams weakly into her pillow, her voice faltering as if she's close to tears.

She quickly twists around and moves toward Fuutarou. For a split second, he is afraid that she is going to punch him. Instead she buries her face into his chest.

"She's right," she says. Her sobbing is starting to return. "I'm the most immature sister, in every way. Especially about….that stuff. I'm constantly grabbing you, hugging you, tackling you….like a kid. I can't kiss you without giggling. I wear middle schooler underwear. I'm always wearing a sports bra and it makes my boobs look smaller. I'm always wearing ugly tracksuits and stuff, so I never look sexy. I'm just…I…"

"You're forgetting something important," Fuutarou says. "I'm immature as hell. Especially about that stuff. I was giggling too, remember?….When you touch me, my face turns so red that it might explode. I….uh…what I'm trying to say is…"

Yotsuba punches him lightly in the chest. "You always sound cool. I'm a big crybaby and you always know what to say to cheer me up. I hate it. I don't want you to always have to baby me and spoil me and cheer me up. I don't deserve it."

"Ever since I first set foot in this apartment, you have been there for me. Every time. In fact, you're so reliable that you often overwork yourself. It's one of the things that I love most about you. It makes me feel really good when I'm able to be there for you too, like right now. I want you to rely on me, just like I always relied on you."

Yotsuba looks up into his eyes and sniffles loudly. "You're doing it again. Did you practice these lines at home in the mirror?"

She really does have pretty eyes. Even though they should be the same as her sisters', for some reason, her's are different. Or at least they make me feel different.

"Well…the earlier stuff, no," says Fuutarou. "But the stuff about how reliable you are….I kind of practiced that, yeah."

"Wait, I was joking, but you really did?! Wow, you're such a nerd!" She hugs him around the neck. "When you finish studying for exams, you study lines to sound cool in front of your girlfriend. You're hopeless."

"Why don't you go wash your face," Fuutarou says. "I need to do something really quick, I'll be right back."

He shifts his mind from cheering up Yotsuba to dealing with Nino. He can immediately feel the anger from earlier boiling up again. The butterflies that formed in his stomach from Yotsuba putting her arms around his neck go up in flames and his face fills with heat.

I need to calm down. If I'm too loud, Yotsuba might hear. It might upset her if she overhears. Just say the words I practiced. Just speak calmly.

He doesn't calm down. His anger overpowers his plans. He stops halfway down the stairs before his words come out, much louder than he planned.

"HEY NINO! The pain you just caused your sister, and me, and the pain that you have BEEN CAUSING since the end of the festival…That's why I could never be with you!" His voice calms down a little bit before he continues. "I care about you, but I could never be with someone who acts like this. You need to find someone that loves this part of you, because I don't and I never will."

Nino and Ichika both look stunned. Fuutarou's hands are shaking. He turns around and sprints up the stairs toward Yotsuba's room. He plops face-down on her bed, exactly like she did earlier. He feels tears welling up in his eyes.

I couldn't keep cool. I yelled at a girl, and not just any girl, but a close friend, a friend that I worked hard to make. And this might hurt my relationship with more quints than just Nino. Have a little tact, idiot.

With his face still buried in the pillow, he hears someone enter the room and shut the door.

I hope that's not Nino.

Small hands gently lift his head and place it down onto something soft. It's a green skirt.

From outside comes the sound of someone stomping very loudly up the stairs. Somehow just from the stomping sound, Fuutarou is certain that the footsteps belong to Nino.

"Sorry Uesugi-san," says the person whose lap his head is in. His girlfriend. "One sec."

His head flops onto the bed as she stands, and he hears her quickly lock the door. She returns to her previous position and gently places his head in her lap again. He can feel her fingers stroking his hair. He can hear her still sniffling a little bit.

Is she crying right now? I hope not.

The material of her skirt tickles his face as he speaks. "I'm sorry I yelled at your sister. I'm sorry you had to hear me lose it like that…" His voice breaks as he starts to cry. "She's never going to forgive me. I lost my temper and-"

From a nearby bedroom erupts the sound of screaming and smashing. The sound of objects being thrown across the room. It sounds like a dresser is overturned. It sounds like something shatters, possibly glass. Fuutarou has seen Nino angry many, many times, but never like this.

"See. She'll never speak to me again."

Yotsuba doesn't respond. She simply returns to stroking his hair. She isn't speaking, but he can sense that she is relatively relaxed. That causes his anxiety to lessen a bit.

Several minutes pass before she speaks in a gentle tone. "Did you practice those lines too? The ones you said to Nino?"

"Yeah. I have been wanting to say that for a while. But I lost my temper. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sure it made all of you very uncomfortable. And Nino will probably never forgive me, which will hurt her relationship with you."

Fuutarou's phone vibrates in his pocket.

"You got a message," Yotsuba says.

"I don't care about that right now. You can check it if you want."

Her hand glides across his back toward his pocket. He feels tingly. He suddenly feels very warm.

Yotsuba reads the text out loud.

Ichika: The yelling was probably a bad move. She's into that. If you turn her on while rejecting her, that's called 'mixed signals'. But you finally said what you needed to say a while ago, good job. Now let's see who or what she takes her anger out on.

Yotsuba pauses for a moment, then speaks. "Wow, you know I'm a little surprised at how helpful Ichika has been through all this."

"She always acts like a big sis, right?" Fuutarou asks.

"Yeah kind of, but it seems like she's trying really hard to do that lately."

"Maybe it's because she's guilty about some of the stuff she did during the Kyoto trip. And I think she will have an easier time getting over her feelings than Miku and Nino will."

The sound of Nino's anger continues in the other room. It sounds like bed springs straining.

Is she jumping on her bed? Did she run out of things to break?

"I hope everyone is okay soon," Yotsuba says sadly. "I just want everyone to be happy."

The door of the adjacent room opens, and Miku's voice can be heard outside. "Hey, if you're gonna throw a tantrum, take it outside!"

Nino's voice responds, practically in a scream. "I don't care about interrupting your chat with your stupid internet nerd! Shut up! Stop gloating and shut up!"

Fuutarou and Yotsuba can hear Nino's door fling open and she stomps down the stairs.

Ichika's voice comes from downstairs. "You know, you really don't need him. Fuutarou doesn't have tattoos or a cute daughter. You should pay more attention to what you already have."

"You're the worst of all!" Nino yells. "Shut up with your teasing! Shut the hell up!"

The front door of the apartment slams.

After a moment, Fuutarou hears Ichika's voice as she makes a phone call. "Hey Itsuki, please text Nino and tell her to let you know where she's going, so we know she's safe. She stormed off…..Yeah she's nuclear…No, none of us can ask her, because she's mad at all of us…..yeah all of us. I'll explain later."

The apartment goes quiet for several minutes. Yotsuba goes back to stroking Fuutarou's hair.

"Will she come to tutoring after this?" he asks. "What if she doesn't graduate? Your dad-"

A phone vibrates. It's Yotsuba's this time. He hears a whimper. Concerned, he twists around to look at her. He sees an expression he didn't expect. She is fighting a smirk and she is blushing bright red. He snatches her phone and stands up.

"No don't…Give me that!" Yotsuba flails in embarrassment to stop him from reading the message, but she fails.

It's a message from Ichika.

Ichika: The way he got all aggressive and stood up for you, it was really hot, wasn't it? You should tell him to be that forceful more often!

He looks up to see Yotsuba pressing one of her stuffed animals, a bunny, onto her face to hide her blushing.

He plops down on his back next to her, and takes a deep breath to calm himself. He reaches over to hold her hand. He feels a slight jerk, probably from nervousness, but she seems to calm her embarrassment and she squeezes back on his hand gently.

They sit in silence holding hands for a few moments before she speaks. "I'm sorry. I lied. I wasn't really sick. We can study now if you want."

"That's a good idea, but we should rest for a few minutes first. We both need to calm our nerves a bit before we'll be able to focus."

"Kay!" Some of her typical bubblyness returns to her voice.

Yotsuba turns and puts her hands on his chest and crawls on top of him and lays down, their chins nearly touching as she looks up at him.

There's a look in her eyes that he has never seen before. There's definitely a hint of embarrassment, with a little bit of blushing on her cheeks. But there's something else overpowering it. She reminds him of a cat that is about to pounce and he is her prey.

I guess she technically pounced on me already.

But what is that look? Is it desire? Have I ever seen her show strong desire before? Why is this coming out now? Is this because of what Ichika said in the text? Or is this about the maturity thing from earlier? Or am I totally misreading this?

His brain is in full psychoanalysis mode, but then another thought creeps in. It's awareness. Awareness of what's actually happening. The girl he is head-over-heels for, the girl he has liked for years, a gorgeous, athletic girl who is far out of his league, is on top of him right now. She declared her love for him, and right now she clearly wants him. She wants him badly. His nerves start to kick in. His breath quickens. His stomach starts tightening.

Is this the fight or flight response? Is this what prey feels like when facing a predator?

Suddenly something changes in her eyes. It's difficult to read. The only clue Fuutarou has is that he recognizes a worried furrow to her brow.

Seconds after he notices the change in her expression, she rolls off of him and sits against the wall holding her knees.

"I'm sorry," she says meekly. "I wanted…but…I just…I don't deserve this. I just don't deserve to be with you. I shouldn't be allowed to have this. All I do is cause problems for my sisters…and I'm a burden to you."

"That's not true. Of course you deserve to be happy. You're an amazing person. I love you. Stop doubting yourself."

I don't know what else to say. I can keep telling her that she deserves to be happy, but something in her brain is clearly resisting that. I guess it's naive of me to think I can cure her insecurities with just a few comforting words. There's a part of her that keeps pushing unpleasant thoughts into her mind, refusing to let her be happy. I don't know how to help.

The girl I love is in pain and I feel helpless.