So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

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Chapter Two - February

"Lily," Scorpius said suddenly from behind her, making the redhead flinch a tiny bit, almost dropping the plate she was washing by hand at the kitchen sink. "What in the name of Merlin's bollocks are you doing?"

"Washing up," she replied succinctly. "And don't scare me like that!" she added firmly.

"You were deep in thought," he said.

Lily shrugged, because she had been thinking, about what she was supposed to do about the fact Scorpius Malfoy had inserted himself into her life almost seamlessly in the last month and a half. Showing up at the Ministry, and her parents' place on Sundays for dinner, and even recently, at her husband's home during the day when Lily was home on her off days. It wasn't that she minded and she was careful to keep things utterly platonic, but she knew what it would look like to an outsider, and she knew if her husband found out, she'd be done for. But the redheaded witch couldn't help, especially when she inevitably compared him to the wizard she'd married, liking just about everything about Scorpius. She never had to think about what she was going to say, she didn't care if she offended him, and because she'd known him since she was ten, Lily couldn't help but feel, after so much recent exposure, utterly comfortable around the tall, blond pureblood once more.

"So what?" she said, continuing her washing and rinsing of the dishes.

"Is that why you're doing that the Muggle way?" Scorpius asked, and Lily bit her lip against the surge of desire as his hand moved to rest comfortably at her waist, his presence comforting behind her. The redhead was certain there was no beyond-platonic friends intentions when Scorpius touched her. She'd spent many evenings having her apparently myriad faults pointed out to her, and then thoroughly dissected on how she might improve them, and those moments had convinced her there was nothing worth wanting she could offer Scorpius as more than a friend.

"Sure," she said easily, because she doubted he'd like the truth of the matter.

"Which means no," the blond replied softly, his chin hooking over her head as he offered her the comfort of an embrace. Lily tried to resist the urge to melt back against him. "The real reason then?"

Lily sighed, because she hated this. She knew Scorpius would push, and she would get defensive and angry, and they would undoubtedly argue, and then she'd yell at him. But Lily didn't want to be angry or argue with Scorpius, or even yell at him. So she cut to the chase, hoping her friendship and not-quite more with Scorpius was strong enough the blond pureblood wouldn't do anything stupid. Scorpius, a man she wished she could be with, if only once, just to say she'd managed to pull that sexy of a wizard, and, although she didn't even fully let the thought formulate, the man who she couldn't help but think would've made a much better husband than her own. "Honestly?" she sighed, and rinsed the dish she'd washed then shut off the water. "I…" Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, like always, but Lily swallowed back the instant lies she could think up to deflect from the truth. Instead she squared her shoulders, trying to summon her cautious courage, and said firmly, "My husband said he preferred them washed by hand." She didn't add the part about his comment that she'd be his House Elf, staring silently at the faucet instead. Scorpius didn't say anything, and she felt her mouth moving to fill the silence after several tense moments. "And… Well, there's not really an option of not doing it that way."

The redhead bit her lip, feeling Scorpius go completely still behind her, pulling back ever so slightly in the next beat. "Lily," he said very softly, and she turned to look at him, meeting his dark, stormy grey eyes, and swallowed thickly, waiting. "Does he put his hands on you?" Scorpius finally asked after what felt like an eternity in a breath, and Lily couldn't hold his gaze, afraid to see pity, or revulsion, or anger there.

"You can't tell anyone," she whispered, hating that tears burned behind her eyelids, shame making her cheeks burn, and her chest felt like it might explode as she held in a sob. "You have to promise that you won't tell anyone," she added shakily, chancing a glance up at him.

Scorpius looked at her thoughtfully, as if deciding whether or not he could hear the answer should he be bound to secrecy if he received it. "That seems like answer enough," he said at last, and Lily forced herself to keep breathing. "How long?"

The redhead felt her control slip at the tenderness in Scorpius's voice, and a tear trickled from her full eyes and down her cheek, swiftly followed by another. "Too long," she whispered. Scorpius folded her into himself, and Lily let go, her tears flowing hot and fast now, her tired body no longer able to hold back the sobs.

"Shh," Scorpius murmured against her ear, stroking her back and hair, cuddling her close as she buried her face in his chest and cried her heart out, letting all her emotions rage out of control. And before long her sobs turned into hiccups and her tears slowly dried, leaving Lily feeling blissfully empty and utterly exhausted. "Do you want to leave him?" the blond finally asked after what felt like an eternity to Lily, where she held onto him, trying to soak up some of his strength, and he held her close, keeping her fears at bay.

Lily swallowed. She didn't know if she could just leave. There was still the probably foolish part of her that loved the wizard she knew Thaddeus Nott could be. Her Thad, the man she'd fallen for, the sweet, thoughtful person who had loved her in return. But Thaddeus… Now she didn't love him, that Lily knew. But to simply leave her entire life…? The redhead hadn't ever even considered it. She'd felt so isolated and alone, even though she'd maintained her family relationships as much as possible, Lily hadn't ever considered leaving an option. She'd always assumed she would be alone if she left Thaddeus, and the fear that her husband and his family, with their money and pureblood connections, could find her if she tried, had kept her with him.

"I… I don't know," she admitted in a croaky voice after a moment. She didn't meet Scorpius's eyes, keeping her face buried in his chest, but felt him go still again.

"You don't know if you want to, or you don't know if you can?" he clarified, sounding almost desperate.

"I don't know if I can," she said, finally meeting his dark grey gaze fleetingly. "He… They'll find me." She stared at the wet spot on his robes she'd made crying.

"If you want to leave, Lily," Scorpius said, tilting her chin back up, looking at her very seriously but without any emotion, "you leave. And I can promise you, if you tell me you want to leave, we'll go right now. I can keep you safe."

Lily's eyes widened. "I can't," she said automatically. "I have to have dinner on the table at-" She broke off then looked at her watch. "Shit!" she breathed, and pulled abruptly away, moving to the stove. "I have to start dinner. You have to go," she said firmly, telling herself she'd have to use a tiny bit of magic to speed it along, and hoped she could get it done before Thaddeus would get home, probably right at six because she'd gotten distracted. And Lily knew if Scorpius stayed, she'd never get dinner ready, especially if he kept looking so earnest and trustworthy and bloody dependable. She'd spent the last four years relying only on herself, damn it!

"Lily, you don't-"

"Yes, I do!" she snapped. "Please, Scorpius, go. Look, I…" She paused in her wand waving for the prepwork for roast beef, and bit her lip. "I'll think about what you said," she murmured. "And thank you, really, but I-"

"You're better than this," Scorpius said, for the first time looking sorry for her, and Lily's spine straightened. "But if you're not ready, I can't make you go."

She watched him turn away and Floo home, and Lily forced herself to think only of prepping dinner and getting the damn roast in the oven so it would be done at six. She had a tight schedule, and deviating from it usually meant she'd pay for it later on.

The redhead was just taking the main course to the table, set immaculately, when her husband and mother in law showed up in the formal dining room, the latter holding the former's arm, and Lily forced a brilliant smile, hoping even though she knew from thousands of experiences it would be for naught, she'd done well.

"Dinner looks good," Thaddeus said, sounding in a relatively good mood for the first time in weeks, and Lily relaxed a tiny bit. He looked at Lily sharply, and she lowered her own gaze demurely, then peeked back up from under her lashes at him, licking her lips nervously as she waited for her mother in law's assessment. To her surprise, Thaddeus broke away from his mother and strode toward her, around the table. "You look even better," he said softly, and Lily felt her heart start up double time as he pulled her close, leaned down and kissed her.

"Thank you," Lily breathed when he'd pulled back, smiling shyly, and beamed up at him.

"I like this dress. I like it a lot, honey," he rumbled, and Lily blushed, because she rather liked the dress too. A deep green colour, modest neckline and long sleeves, but with a deep back, exposing her flawless, porcelain flesh, her hair carefully bound over her left ear. And it was just short enough to showcase her long, creamy legs, and long enough to be respectable at barely above the knee.

"Thank you," Lily said again, genuine warmth infusing her tone, and smiled as her husband kissed her again briefly.

"She's been crying," Cordelia Nott said at last, finally having found something to critique Lily for.

Lily, who bit her tongue against the urge to snap something rude back at her mother in law, merely looked up at Thaddeus, who'd pulled back to frown a tiny bit. "I did. It was silly, really," she murmured, looking properly contrite, as if she realized the idiocy of her nature, like her husband claimed she should regularly. "I let myself get distracted getting ready, and I thought the roast was going to be burnt, and I just fell apart like a fool," Lily said, the lie coming out with perfect inflection and just the right amount of self deprecation her husband and mother in law would be mollified.

"Silly thing," Thaddeus teased, and brushed a wayward curl behind her ear. "My silly little wife," he murmured almost adoringly, and Lily fought the urge to cringe as she forced a smile.

"Foolish indeed," Cordelia sniffed. "Perhaps you should learn to better keep your emotions in check, dear," she said icily, and Lily tried not to react. Cordelia, lacking any emotions other than hate and displeasure herself, loathed that the rest of the population had things like feelings, and expected everyone else to act like herself.

"Yes, I'll definitely have to work on that, Mrs. Nott," Lily replied, nodding at her mother in law respectfully, as if grateful for the input, and Cordelia sniffed again, with distaste.

"Sit," she snapped, and a House Elf appeared to pull out her chair for her, and the woman settled herself easily in the right hand seat from the head of the table. Lily was shocked again when Thaddeus pulled out her chair for her, but smiled delightedly as she sat across from his mother and he pushed her in gently and with flawless pureblood manners.

The House Elf served them, as if it had been the one to painstakingly prepare dinner, and Lily made sure to take dainty portions, knowing Thaddeus would critique her if he thought she was eating too much. "I've got brilliant news," Thaddeus said after they were served and the House Elf had disappeared. Lily took a sip of wine from her half full glass. Thaddeus never liked her having more than that, claiming he had no need for a lush of a wife, and she was too sloppy when drunk to be of any use. Cordelia belted back a half glass in one swallow. Apparently having a lush for a mother wasn't nearly so heinous.

"Do share, darling," Mrs. Nott Sr. said indulgently, putting away the rest of her wine and pouring herself some more while picking at her dinner. The redheaded witch cut a tiny bite of roast and speared it with her fork.

Lily peeked up at Thaddeus, who was grinning, and held back the urge to flinch as he reached for her right hand. "I've been made Weekend Edition editor," he said proudly, and Lily felt something like shock rooting her to the spot.

"Congratulations," Cordelia said blandly, having zero interest in her son's career or his ambitions, so long as they didn't make their family look bad. Lily forced herself to smile, even as ice cold dread began to steal through her insides.

"It won't be announced until the Saturday edition, of course," Thaddeus continued, even as Lily stared at him, fork poised in midair, her ears ringing gently as shock numbed her, "but the former Editor for the Weekend Edition passed in his sleep last night, and they're looking to bring in some youth and new blood to the Editorial staff. And they'll be printing my latest Editorial, too, with the announcement."

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