So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Ten - July

"Scorpius," Lily said, feeling like she was going to be sick. She didn't want the blond pureblood to see her like this. Hell, she didn't even want to see herself like this, damn it. But she couldn't deny, she was unbearably glad he'd come. She hadn't seen him since that awful June evening, when the weather was just turning balmy, when he'd pleaded with her not to do what she'd done. But when she'd been rushed to hospital, Lily didn't know who else to ask, who else would be willing to show up if she reached out.

"The Healers told me everything," he said roughly. She looked at the sheets in her lap, feeling like she might start crying again. It seemed like she hadn't stopped crying since she'd been admitted.

"I can't go back," she said after a long moment of silence fell between them, and when her face screwed up against the tears, she buried it in her hands.

"I won't let you," Scorpius said, making no move to touch her, even as his heart broke and she sobbed into her hands.

"Don't," she said seriously. "I know you were right, I know all of you were right, but I just…" She shook her head, trying to gasp enough air between sobs. "I wanted to think it would be better," she whispered brokenly, and dissolved into incoherent sobbing once more. Scorpius couldn't resist, and moved toward her, climbing right into bed with Lily and pulling her against him so she could at least sob her heart out on his shoulder.

He felt his heart swell as she clung to him. "You don't ever have to go back, Lily," he breathed, pressing her close, probably greedily, and cuddling her limp, too thin form against himself.

"Thank you," she breathed.

Scorpius pulled her impossibly closer, unable to tell her how badly he needed her to be okay, how badly he required her to find herself again, and most of all, how much he positively needed her period. Her life and her light to make his own existence worthwhile, her smile to make his own blossom, and her unquenchable fire that stoked him into living life as a better human being. "Anytime, Lily," he whispered, and held her until her tears dried.

The next morning, Lily was released and went, with his assistance, to her parents' house. Needless to say, Ginny Potter was shocked to see them both at her back door as she was cooking breakfast, but welcomed her daughter and almost son inside with good grace. "Lily!" Ginny said delightedly when the younger redheaded witch appeared in her mother's kitchen that thrummed with activity. But the second Ginny Weasley looked at her daughter, taking in the wan, timid smile upon her face, the shadows under her red rimmed eyes, everything fell into stasis. "What's happened, honey?" she asked, worry lacing her tone, and Lily felt her fragile composure cracking.

"I-" she said, drawing up short, unable to figure out where to start. But when she felt her mother's arms pulling her into a determined, comforting hug, and Lily was enveloped in the cinnamon and love scent of her mother, she felt her defenses crumbling in the wake of her sorrow. "I need you, Mum," she breathed, and then the tears began, and she clung with desperate need to her mother.

"Oh, Lily, my darling girl, what happened?" Ginny said, cuddling her daughter close, rocking her body ever so slightly, an unconscious gesture from when she'd rocked her as an infant. She smoothed a hand over her daughter's dark red locks, and brushed a kiss across her daughter's hairline, trying to console her baby over what seemed to be a monumental incident.

"I don't know what to do," Lily sobbed, and Ginny looked up, seeing, for the first time, Scorpius hanging at the doorway to her kitchen. He looked somber, and exhausted. She glared expectantly at him, knowing, by the tight line of his mouth, he knew exactly what was wrong with Lily. But Scorpius wouldn't meet her eyes, his gaze glued to Lily, which only made Ginny more suspicious.

"Has someone hurt you?" she asked her daughter softly, hoping to Merlin she wouldn't have to curse the wizard who'd once been like a son at her home on Hogwarts holidays. The younger redheaded witch sobbed impossibly harder at that, and Ginny openly glared at Scorpius now. "Scorpius, what's going-?" she began darkly.

"It's not his fault," Lily said, taking in a deep, shuddering breath, as if attempting to hold herself together. Ginny squeezed her tighter for a beat, frowning in confusion as her daughter flinched away for a moment from the pressure. Lily looked into her mother's eyes, trying to hold it together long enough to say what needed to be said. "Scorpius saved me," she said, voice wobbling and cracking.

"Saved you?" Ginny repeated, looking beyond concerned and confused now. Lily glanced briefly at Scorpius and his drawn, yet stern expression. "What's happened, honey? I don't under-"

"My husband hits me," the younger redhead interrupted abruptly, and silence fell. Lily swallowed and tried to gather her scant courage. "I… I made Scorpius not tell anyone when he found out, but, a couple days ago…" She gulped again, unable to keep her mother's anxious and furious brown gaze any longer. "Thaddeus assaulted me, and…" She closed her eyes, unable to stop picturing what was sure to be dawning horror on her mother's beloved features. "And I was pregnant," she whispered into the absolute silence, telling herself, as tears threatened to fall and choke her again, she just had to spit it all out before she could fall apart again. "But by the time I got to St. Mungo's, it… It was…" Lily choked on the words, but grit her teeth and, using the strength she'd always drawn from to be okay and force herself to keep going in her marriage, kept talking. "It was too late for the baby." Her voice broke on the last word, and she fell apart all over again, burying her face in her mother's chest, holding her tight, desperate for security and warmth and love only one redheaded witch could give her.

"Lily," Ginny whispered into her daughter's hair, squeezing her chocolate brown eyes together to stem the flow of her own tears, jaw clenching as horrified sickness waved through her belly. "Oh Lily, honey," she gasped, sucking in a fortifying breath, telling herself she had to be strong for her daughter. The tears still flowed hot and fast from the corners of her eyes. "I didn't even know you were-! What do you mean he-? Oh, my little Lily flower," Ginny whispered desperately, brain whirring, trying to process all the things she'd just heard, her motherly instincts squeezing Lily tight.

"I'm sorry," Lily sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know I should've-"

"Oh no, honey, no. You don't have to be sorry for a thing," Ginny said, and in a manner that greatly resembled her own mother, she pulled away from Lily, wiped the girl's tears with her apron, and clucked her tongue softly. "We'll have tea, and we can talk about it, honey. Scorpius, put the kettle on, will you?" Ginny said, waving her wand lazily so that the making of breakfast continued, and guided Lily to the kitchen table.

"I-I don't think-" Lily began, starting to panic inside, the old terror and fear of ever revealing the truth, despite the fact she'd already spilled the beans, resurfacing. The fear at what might happen if she ever told a soul clawing up her throat, while the wretched terror made her stomach churn and clench.

"Nonsense," Ginny cut across her, squeezing Lily's shoulders in a familiar, comforting gesture before they sat at the well loved wooden table. "You're obviously upset, and I think the best thing is to talk about it," the elder redhead insisted. Lily sat, let her mother serve her a breakfast she was positive she wouldn't touch, and accepted tea. Her mother waited with an expectant face, then glanced up at Scorpius. "Perhaps, Scorpius, if you weren't here it-"

"No," Lily said, a tiny bit louder than she'd intended, and her face flushed as she stared at the wood grain on the table she recalled from childhood. "I-I just mean that, um, y'know, I don't mind if Scorpius is here, I just…" The redhead tried to be brave, like everyone else in her family, and licked her lips, pushing some hair behind her ear. "It's still really hard for me to...talk about it. In any sense." Or think about it, or remember it.

"I know, honey," she whispered, and the younger witch felt her eyes fill with tears once more as her mother grasped her hand gently, cradling it in both of her own like she always did, as long as Lily could remember. "You take your time, and I promise you, no matter what, I'm here for you my darling girl."

Lily smiled weakly for a beat, and took a mechanical sip of tea, sitting as straight and rigid as she would when she'd attend tea with her mother in law, daintily setting the mug back down. "Then I suppose I should start at the beginning," Lily whispered, and spent the next twenty minutes giving a brief, mostly vague and non-detailed, account of the private aspects of her marriage to her mother. She pointedly didn't look at Scorpius the entire time she was talking, because while he might have known things happened behind closed doors, and just what her injuries were and their treatments while at St. Mungo's, but he didn't have all the details. And the words that tumbled, unchecked, from her mouth as she talked to her mum, painted a much clearer picture of just how cruel and controlling Lily's husband had turned.

It took another twenty minutes to convince Ginny Potter not to go after Thaddeus Nott and hex the crap out of him, as he rightly deserved in the elder redhead's opinion, and then some. It took almost as long still to swear Ginny to secrecy over everything she'd just heard. And while Ginny naturally protested vociferously, with Lily's promise she would tell her father when she was ready, and less emotionally raw, and Scorpius's vow he would back her up if Lily didn't come clean, they finally managed to convince the elder redhead to keep her silence on the matter.

And when Lily finally made it back to Scorpius's flat, the same place she'd fled on her last, failed attempt at leaving Thaddeus, she wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, hide under the blanket, and possibly never come back out. She was relieved when Scorpius left her to her own devices after they arrived at his flat, excusing himself and mentioning he had some business to attend to, and would be absent for a few hours. Lily nodded mutely, unable to speak as she moved to open the door to Scorpius's guest room once more. "Lily, he said, making her pause and glance back at him, the unshed tears in her eyes and the sag of her shoulders making the blond fumble his words for a beat.

"Yeah?" she asked, trying to be gracious, because this wizard was, technically, housing her for the foreseeable future. And the redhead most certainly was grateful she had someone to turn to, someone who might know her, and even be able to almost understand her, and who supported her despite all the evidence her choices were faulty at best.

"I just…" For a moment, Lily wondered if he would say anything at all as the silence stretched between them, growing taut and the tiniest bit awkward, as if there were something in Scorpius's very dark, steady grey eyes she didn't recognize, or yet understand. "I promise it will get better. Easier," Scorpius said after a too-long moment of tense silence. Lily's mouth quirked up very briefly on one side, and she looked down at the floor.

"Thanks," she said, and before Scorpius could say more, she'd slipped into his guest bedroom, shut the door, and silence no less tense or pregnant with anticipation followed. The blond wizard shook his head, pushed a hand through his hair, and cursed himself for a fool. Even if he'd meant it, he doubted that was what Lily needed to hear, and probably thought him an idiot.

He sighed, threw on his robes, and headed out. He did indeed have some business that needed tending to, and there was no better time, after the morning he'd had, to go about it, he reckoned. Thaddeus Nott had been long deserving a fist in the face, and Scorpius would be delighted to provide it, even if he had no need to get his hands dirty.

XXX