A/N: Still not mine. *Sigh*

And a huge thanks to all my readers and reviewers! Julie, you know how much I appreciate you. Thank you!

And now the big moment. I hope it meets your expectations! :)

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A Change In Me

Chapter Two


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Joe came back a few nights later just before I was closing the shop. He was wearing his long wool coat again. I smiled sweetly at him as he entered, remembering how it felt to be wrapped in that coat.

"Just in time. I was about to lock you out."

"Maybe you should have," he said with a somber look. He turned, locked the door, and flipped the sign around.

I started to protest that we had three more minutes until seven, but the words caught in my throat when he turned back and gave me a sexy smirk. I swallowed silently instead. The truth was that I wanted a repeat of the other night's kiss more than anything else on the planet. I had relived and fantasized about that kiss all night and then all the next day in school. I even got in trouble in Pre-Calculus for not paying attention.

He sauntered over to me and hopped up on the counter. "You need help with anything?"

"Um … I need to sweep. And I need to count the drawer. I have everything else done. It was a slow night."

"I'll do the floors so you can finish the drawer."

"Okay. Thanks." I stared at him for a minute but then blushed as he grinned knowingly at me. I shook my head and tried to ignore him as I counted the money.

He came around behind the counter and brushed against me as he reached for the broom. I practically jumped straight up in the air.

"You nervous about something, Cupcake?" he asked softly, just behind me.

I shook my head no. "N-no. I'm fine."

"Good." He leaned over and pecked me on the jaw, close to my ear. He then laid his coat over the counter and started to sweep, like he had done a few times before.

For some reason, everything felt different tonight. I didn't think it was because we had kissed. This was Joe Morelli. Simple kissing probably did not even mean anything to him. He and Terry had dated for over two years, but they had broken up a few times before the last one and Joe was known to take full advantage of his freedom. I smiled as I realized that while Joe may be very experienced, he did not have a reputation as a cheater. That was one thing I could never forgive.

I finished marking the books and placed the money in the deposit bag. I stood and watched him sweeping the back room. He had on a fitted long-sleeve thermal shirt with faded jeans. I admired the way his back moved as he worked the broom back and forth. Then I allowed myself one long look at his butt. Holy moly! What a perfect butt! I quickly diverted my eyes back up to his back and waited for him to turn around.

He paused and looked over his shoulder. "Enjoying the show?"

I giggled. "Very much so." Man, I really did say whatever I was thinking to him.

He finished sweeping everything into the dustpan and smirked as he walked back past me to put the broom away. I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I placed the deposit bag in the safe. There was nothing left to do but kiss. Yay!

I made my way back into the front of the shop and noticed that Joe was already turning off the lights. Maybe he was going to take me on a date! It was only 7:20. I could be out until 10.

He came over to me and stood right in front of me, almost touching. "Everything is done."

I bit my lip and nodded. "Yep. Looks like we are free."

He tilted his head, puzzling me. "You have a thing with freedom, don't you?"

I shook my head in surprise. "I do?"

"I think so."

"Maybe." I thought for a moment. "I sometimes feel like I don't know who I am here. Like I might never know who I am if I don't go out there and find it. Does that make sense?"

"Perfect sense." He gave me the soft smile again. "I think that's really why I wanted to join. To find the real me without the crap that comes along with being a Morelli."

"You're dad was a bad man, wasn't he?" His eyes widened, and I immediately regretted blurting that out. "I'm sorry!" I considered telling him about his school file, but I didn't want him to be mad.

"No. No, it's okay. It's just … no one ever talks about him." He stepped closer to me and placed his hands on my hips. "You always challenge me, Stephanie."

"My mom thinks I thrive on challenging people."

He smiled. "I like that about you." He reached up and stroked a finger down my cheek. "And yes, he was. He was a drunk. He stepped out on my mom all the time. He was mean to all of us."

I took a shuddering breath. I couldn't believe I ever complained about my parents. "I'm so sorry, Joe."

"I didn't get the worst of it because I was so young. My brothers took a lot of the … " He frowned. "The hits."

I didn't know what to say so I just placed a hand against his chest.

"He just … he didn't …" He closed his eyes. "I don't think he loved us. Maybe ever. I don't know. Maybe he didn't know how." He opened his eyes and I could see a hint of fear in them. "I can tell you anything. It's the craziest thing."

"You're going to be such a better man," I said softly. "I think that you're going to go out there and see and do great things."

Suddenly, I wanted to cry. Even though I believed every word I was saying, a part of me hated that it probably meant he would never come back to the Burg. To me.

He sighed. "I hope so. They all – my family – they all expect me to, I don't know, erase all the bad memories or something."

"You don't have to do that, Joe. Just be you." I blinked back a tear. "You only have to compete with yourself. That's what my Grandpa Mazur always tells me when I feel like a toad next to Valerie."

He wiped the tear from my cheek. "He's a smart man." Gently, he cupped my face. "If I kiss this toad, will you turn into a princess?"

I glared at him. "You're supposed to say, 'Who's Valerie?'"

He laughed softly. "I definitely might miss you."

"I definitely might miss you too," I whispered, my throat closing up with emotion.

He pulled me to him and hugged me tightly, his hands rubbing slowly up and down my back. It wasn't what I expected, but I enjoyed it just the same. Somehow that hug felt like it meant something more than the kissing we had shared a few nights before. I relaxed into his arms and leaned my head onto his chest. After a moment, I kissed him on the neck. I don't even know why I did it. I just did. And Joe's hands immediately froze on my back.

He breathed into my hair. "You have no idea how much I want you, Cupcake."

I gasped as I felt his words resonating in places I had never explored.

He slowly lowered his hands down my back and onto my butt. I whimpered as I felt him pressing into me. I had never felt that before either. And instead of being frightened, I wanted more. I leaned my head back to look at him. His eyes were closed and he looked like he was concentrating on something.

"Kiss me," I whispered against his neck.

"I told myself I wouldn't …"

I reached up and stroked his cheek like I had when we had kissed.

He opened his eyes and looked down at me. His eyes were darker than I had ever seen them. He was looking at me in such a way that I felt like he was seeing into my soul. Yearning to feel his lips again, I licked mine. I had been so bold, but at that moment I wanted him to make the next move. I needed him to show me that he really did want me.

"Cupcake," he whispered. "I leave in two weeks."

"I know." I smiled at him. So that was what was holding him back. "Joe, I don't expect anything from you. I want you to leave. I'm so proud of you, that you're following your heart. I hope I can someday do the same. You …" I was stupidly tearing up again. I smiled again to cover up my embarrassment. "I just want to enjoy you while I can."

He gaped at me for a moment. "You never cease to amaze me, Stephanie." He looked up to the ceiling, but his arms tightened around me.

I watched him as he debated. I still didn't understand why he was hesitating. He had no problems kissing me the other night. I still had my hand against his face. Losing my nerve, I slowly moved my hand down his chest when he suddenly grabbed it and held it to his heart. Lowering his face to mine, he stared me in the eyes with an almost predatory gaze. One little part of me was slightly frightened of him. I somehow knew that we had reached a kind of turning point.

"This is going to count, Cupcake," he murmured.

"Okay."

He captured my lips, more aggressively than he had before. I gasped immediately and welcomed his tongue into my mouth. It didn't take long before his hands were grasping my hips and he was pressing into me, hard. I ran my hands down his back, but then I placed one in his hair. Oh boy. That was the right move. Joe groaned in satisfaction and then grabbed me and hoisted me up onto the counter. He quickly shoved himself between my legs and yanked me back towards him so that we were pressed against each other in the most intimate way, letting me feel him more than before. I was surprised at the heat that was growing between us down there. I wanted to move against him, and a part of me was shocked that I was being so wanton. Joe's hands were working their way around to my front. He quickly started to unbutton my flannel, groaning in frustration when he reached in to cup my boobs and discovered my t-shirt underneath. Even over my shirt, I practically mewed at the feel of his hands on me, his thumbs stroking me.

He leaned away from me, panting. "We need to get this shirt off of you."

"Yours too," I said excitedly.

Grinning at me in amusement, he retorted, "No problem." He reached down and pulled his shirt off in one swift movement.

I blinked at him in awe. He was so hot! Reaching out tentatively, I touched his chest. Oh my goodness! He felt as good as he looked. I closed my eyes and let my fingers happily explore the hard lines and ridges of his muscles.

"Oh, Cupcake," he murmured. "Your turn."

Feeling a little bit on display, I looked around behind me at the large front windows of the bakery. "Can we move this somewhere more private?"

"How about …" He grabbed his coat from next to me and laid it out on the floor. "Here."

He hoisted me up, and I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist. "Oh, Joe." I tilted my head back as he latched on to my neck.

He gently laid us down on his coat. I would probably love this coat for the rest of my life.

He started grinding against me, and I shamelessly arched my chest up into his face. With a mischievous smile, he murmured, "I think it's about time you returned the favor, Cupcake." He tugged on the bottom of my t-shirt.

I nodded and then sat up partway. "Help me?" I asked breathlessly.

He took a deep breath. "You're so … " He shut his eyes and shook his head. Then after pushing the open flannel off my shoulders, he bunched it up like a pillow behind me. He paused and looked at me sweetly before gently lifting my t-shirt off of me.

I closed my eyes as my shirt passed over my head. Then I kept them shut, afraid to see his reaction to my chest. It wasn't that I was flat. In fact, it was the one area that I definitely looked better than Valerie. But I had never had gone this far before. And Joe had probably seen more than his fair share of perfect breasts.

He ran his finger across my chest and then I could feel him leaning closer to me. His lips brushed against my neck causing a delicious series of tingles to begin from his lips all the way down my spine.

"You're so beautiful, Stephanie," he spoke softly against my throat before working his mouth down to the valley between my breasts. "So, so beautiful."

I peeked at him through hooded eyes. He looked so enthralled with me. And it made me feel sexy. I don't think I had ever felt that before. I had imagined it, wanted it, but I had never really felt that sense of power. That's what it was, too. It was powerful. I grabbed his face and brought it up to mine, kissing him urgently as I laid back down, pulling him on top of me.

Before long, the jeans we were both wearing were simply getting in the way. Joe had reached down into mine and stroked me, causing me to cry out in pleasure. I watched Joe's face each time I made a sound and noticed that it seemed to turn him on even more, if that was possible. I reached down and opened my jeans, smiling at him. He didn't hesitate to help me shimmy out of my pants. He looked down at me in reverence, and I felt another surge of power. Then I reached up and pulled on his jeans. They were button-fly. For some reason that seemed so much hotter than regular jeans to me. I smiled at him as he sat back on his heels and watched me slowly loosen each button from its hole.

We both gasped once they were completely open. I could see him! He was coming out of his boxers. Oh my goodness! I swallowed as I watched him rub himself. I wanted to touch too so I reached my hand out to join his.

"Holy shit, Stephanie!" he yelped. He pushed my hand away from him.

"I'm sorry," I pleaded. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

He chuckled softly. "You didn't hurt me. I just don't want to …" He blushed. "You're so … "

"I'm so what? You've said that twice now without finishing."

He laughed louder. "You always surprise me. You're so … real. I'm used to girls saying whatever they think I want them to say. I love that you don't do that."

I blushed brightly. Wow. He loved something about me!

He continued to stroke himself, but his eyes had dropped down to my open legs. "You know I did say I wanted to taste your cupcake."

"You did," I replied matter-of-factly. "I gave you my favorite the first time." As soon as I said that, I realized how stupid I was being. "Oh."

"Can I taste?" he asked seductively.

I blinked at him in disbelief. I thought guys only wanted girls to do that to them. "Are you sure?"

"Oh, believe me, I'm sure." He gave me a wolfish grin before capturing my lips again and lowering us back onto the floor.

Once I was lying down again, Joe started working his way down my chest. He reached under me and removed my bra. He had already pushed the cups down earlier, so it was more out of convenience at this point. He kissed each nipple, sucking gently as his hand crept between my legs. I moaned loudly as he sucked a little harder, and I barely noticed as he slipped one finger inside me. Then that was all I could focus on. I watched in fascination as he trailed kisses down my stomach and over my hips and then down between my legs, slowly removing my panties before he began in earnest.

I was surprised how quickly my body responded to his touches. The swirl of sensations reminded me of some of the dreams I had been having lately, waking up just before the good part. I had a feeling I was about to get to the good part for real. My whole body felt on edge. Every nerve tight with anticipation.

Just as I was about to experience what I hoped to be my first orgasm, Joe pulled away. "I need to be in you." His eyes were practically black and he looked almost feral. "Now."

I was still in a daze and really wanted to keep feeling that fire that had just started to burn within me. "Yes," I nearly cried.

He swiftly shoved his pants off, and I barely noticed him lining up to me as my mind was still spinning in pleasure and need. After a quick kiss, he was pushing his way into me. We both were moaning as he slowly eased in. It felt so amazing to be this close to him, so overwhelming to know that he was inside me, so very good ... until it didn't.

I shrieked out as he broke through my virginity. "Owwww!" I cried into his ear. "Please don't move."

He leaned his head against the crook of my neck, and he held himself perfectly still. I tried concentrating on the sound of our breathing competing back and forth as our chests pushed against each other.

He put his elbows down on the ground and held himself up to look at me. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I've never been with a virgin before."

I was so embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"Stephanie," he called quietly and waited for me to look up at him. "Don't be sorry. I should have made sure you were ready." He reached up and wiped the tears from my cheek.

When he had moved, he shifted within me. "Ah!" I stared up at him, wide-eyed. "Not yet."

He gave me a tight smile. "Okay."

I lay there, eyes closed, and counted to ten, hoping I would start to feel better soon. Peering back up at Joe, I noticed how pained he looked. "Joe?"

"Yeah," he gritted.

"Are you okay?"

"I …" He grimaced. "I really want to move. You feel so good, Cupcake." He leaned down and kissed me sweetly.

I spoke into his mouth. "Don't move yet."

He groaned in frustration.

"Just let me get used to it," I said, feeling a little more in control of my emotions.

He smiled at me. "So demanding," he teased.

"Of course I am. Now hold still, I want to try something."

He gave me a curious look, but he didn't move.

I shifted around beneath him, discovering that the pain was quickly fading as new waves of pleasure were starting to roll through me. I watched the pleasure wash over Joe's face and decided to keep it up. I also was kind of in awe of his ability to refrain. Pretty soon, I was almost rocking into him.

"Joe?"

His eyes were closed tight. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He leaned down and started kissing me slowly. I felt my body relax more and more with each kiss. He moaned softly into my mouth, and I clenched him, down there.

"Uh!" he gasped. "I can't wait much longer, Cupcake!"

"Don't," I said softly.

And that was all it took for him to take over. It felt so wonderful. I finally got why so many girls were willing to do this. Even if my body had not been spiraling into a realm of pleasure I had never known, I still would have done it to make Joe feel that way. I was captivated by him, watching his face as he moved above me. And I knew in that moment that I loved him.

Then just as I was starting to feel my body boil over again, he jerked to a stop and collapsed onto me.

"Unhhh," he panted into my neck. "Oh, Stephanie. That was amazing." He turned his head and started kissing my neck. "Are you okay?"

I turned to look him in the eye. "I'm wonderful."

He grinned. "I'm sorry I didn't last long. That was … I've never just waited like that. It made everything really intense."

"That was my plan all along," I stated smugly.

He chuckled as he rolled away from me. Suddenly, I missed him, missed having him be a part of me. I shifted onto my side to better see him and to stay closer to him.

He mirrored my movement and traced a finger down my arm. "You cold?"

I shook my head no. "Not yet."

"Where did you learn to … um… squeeze like that?"

I quickly pecked him on the lips. "Ancient Chinese Secret."

He flopped onto his back and laughed. I scooted closer to him and laid my head on his chest. He immediately wrapped his arms around me.

I kissed the hair on his perfect chest. "I read about it in Cosmo like a year ago. I practice all the time in school when I'm bored. They're called kegels."

Kissing my head, he murmured, "I should write to Cosmo and thank them."

"Or you could just thank me," I said as I looked up at him.

He tilted his head up to kiss me. "Thank you. So much. Did you … enjoy it too?"

"Yeah. It wasn't like Maggie said, but it was still pretty awesome."

He frowned at me. "Who's Maggie and what did she tell you?"

I realized he thought I was referring to someone he had been with. "No! She's Valerie's roommate at college. She thinks I'm super fun. And she said I would see the stars."

"Oh," he replied softly. "And you didn't see the stars?"

"Not so much. I thought I was going to before you … um …finished."

He put a hand to his forehead. "It's a good thing that I know how great I am at this, or I might just feel offended by this conversation."

"I'm sorry."

"Cupcake, it wouldn't be you if you weren't honest. That's why I …" He dropped his hand.

"What?"

He gave me his soft smile and kissed me again. "Stay put. I'm going to get some napkins."

"Okay."

Joe jumped up, completely naked, and went into the back room. I just enjoyed watching him. He returned with some paper towels, which he handed to me before disappearing again into the other room. He came back in again and picked up my coat. I tried not to look too disappointed. I wasn't ready for this to end. I just wanted to spend time with him. I couldn't imagine going home now. He lay next to me and draped the coat over us.

"You were getting cold," he explained as he pulled me half on him again.

"Thanks," I said softly through the broad grin spreading across my face.

"And … I wanted to teach you something."

"Oh really?"

He shifted me over him completely, and I could feel him stirring again. "I think I need to give you an astronomy lesson."

"Oh. Okay," I sighed.

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The next time was completely astronomical. Joe insisted I stay on top, and I was so embarrassed at first. But he told me again how beautiful I was and that he wanted to really watch. Plus, he explained that I could have more control. I liked that, and I decided to just get over my insecurities and enjoy him. And enjoy him I did. All the way.

Joe looked at me like I was some kind of goddess. He sat up and held my face, kissing me repeatedly, before he quickly flipped us around so he was on top again.

And just before he finished, I grabbed his face. "Look at me this time."

He blinked at me, lost in his approaching climax. "What?" he gasped.

"I want to see you," I said and then moaned as he sped up his pace.

He kept his eyes on me and I could see a whirlwind of emotions flitting through his eyes. I chose to ignore the fear I saw. He probably was just afraid that he would look weird. But I would never forget that face. He was stunning.

Afterwards, we collapsed into a heap on top of both our coats. I immediately clung to his side and traced circles through his chest hair. "That was a stellar performance. Simply stellar."

He chuckled. "As every astronomy lesson should be."

"Exactly." I leaned up and stroked his hair from his forehead, taking in his handsome face. "I think I definitely will miss you."

He studied me for a moment. "You might."

"No, Joe. I will." I wanted to tell him that I had fallen in love with him, but some part of me held back. How cliché would that be to tell him after having sex? Holy cow! I just had sex – twice!

"What's that grin about?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just how lucky I am to have you."

He frowned a little. "I leave soon."

"I know. Maybe I'll write you. Would that be okay?"

He gently pushed me up as he sat up completely. He reached for his clothes and started getting dressed. "I don't know where I am going to be yet."

"Oh. Well, you can write me then."

He nodded his head and then pulled his thermal shirt back on. "You need to get home, Stephanie. It's getting late and you have school tomorrow."

I looked over at the clock. It was after nine. "Okay."

I quickly put my clothes on and went back to the closet where I kept my purse. I could hear Joe straightening up in the other room. I was starting to freak out a little. He had been so sweet before. And now he seemed distant. He kissed me once more before leaving, but he didn't say his usual comment about it not counting. I knew he had said that it had counted earlier, but not hearing it again made our goodbye feel final. I refused to believe that everything between us was over. I smiled as normally as I could as I watched him walk to his car. By the time I made it to mine, I was crying.

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