A/N: Julie, thank you so much for all your guidance and support.
Thanks to lemonlis, who I can't PM. :)
I am so thrilled with the response to this story. I only hope you all continue to enjoy where it goes. Thank you!
And now, for the next big scene you are all waiting for!
.
A Change In Me
Chapter Eight
.
Somehow I didn't think Sophia was quite pleased with the whole stepdaddy explanation, but I wasn't about to tell her who Joe was until he had made a firm decision about his role in her life. So I had quickly changed the subject and kept her distracted the rest of the afternoon. I also had decided not to tell her we were visiting another friend for dinner. If I had, all she would have done was ask questions about him. And that was not something I wanted to discuss in front of anyone.
I told Mom that I was taking Sophia out to enjoy having so much free time with her and that we wouldn't be back until later. We left early enough to go to the park before grabbing dinner to take to Joe. I was getting really nervous about this meeting, and a very small voice in my head wondered if it would have been easier without the rock now residing on my hand. Once Sophia had noticed it, she demanded that Dickie get her one too. I explained to her what it was and that one day she would get one from whomever she married. It was not really what she wanted to hear, but then I informed her we were meeting another new friend. Thankfully, that completely distracted her and the next twenty minutes were spent with me coming up with creative ways to answer her innocent questions about Joe.
We stood at Joe's door for several minutes. My heart was racing, and I told myself to calm down. I was worried that Joe would freak out once he met his daughter, and I was worried that he wouldn't. For as long as she could, Sophia patiently waited for me to do something. Then she started squirming around, pulling at my hand. I told her she could knock.
The door opened almost instantly, and I realized Joe had been waiting at the door for us. There was no way he had made it that fast on his crutches. It made me smile. He was probably more nervous than I was.
He stood perfectly still, transfixed on Sophia. He had his soft smile, but it was different. There was something more special in his eyes than I had ever seen. It was the smile of a new father.
"Hi, Sophia," he said quietly. "Stephanie."
He looked up at me briefly, his eyes shining with the wonder of seeing what we had created. I held his gaze, mirroring his happiness back to him. And then his eyes returned to our daughter. Wow.
"Hi," she said shyly. She stepped back into my legs and grabbed my hand again.
He watched her for a moment, and then seemed to remember we were standing in the hall. "Come in. I have the table all ready for dinner. But I didn't know what you would want to drink. I have milk and juice." He looked at me for support.
"Milk will be great. We brought subs from Pino's."
He smiled at me. "My favorite." He hopped back from the door to let us in.
Sophia stuck close to me as I nudged her into the apartment. She looked up at me with wide brown eyes and my breath caught when I looked up to see those same eyes looking at me with concern. I smiled at both of them, the whole time trying to absorb the reality in front of me. It had been so rare that I had ever let myself see the similarities between them. But standing a few feet apart, it was hard to deny it. Sophia favored me for sure, but she did look like Joe too. And they both were watching me closely; the same expectant look on their faces.
"Sophia, Joe is my friend from when I was in high school. We grew up together."
She turned to look at him, her head cocked to one side. He smiled at her, and she blushed. Well, it seemed being related didn't dampen the effect of the Morelli charm.
"Did you know my mommy when she was little?" she asked.
His sweet smile spread across his face in amusement. "I sure did. We even played together a few times."
"What'd you play?"
I quickly stepped in. "We played hide and seek." I gave him a glare, and he smirked.
Sophia giggled. "I love hide and seek. Mommy plays with me, too!"
Joe's whole face lit up when she laughed, and I knew it wouldn't be long before he was ready to tell her.
Sophia seemed curious about Joe, but cautious. I wanted to give her a moment with him so I nodded towards his living room as I met his eyes once again. "Why don't you ask Sophia about those pictures while I get everything set up?"
He looked torn between excitement and terror. "Okay," he replied.
Sophia stopped short as I turned away from her. "Go on, bug. You can sit with Joe for a few minutes."
She swung her head back and forth between us, but she stayed put. Joe looked wounded at her rejection.
"It's okay," he volunteered. "Maybe she wants to help."
"No," I said firmly. "Sophia, I am asking you to be a good friend and keep Joe company for me while I fix our plates. Can you help be a good hostess?" A-ha! That should work. I think it's the first time I was glad she was so much like Mom.
Her eyes widened. "Oh yes, Mommy. I love being hose-tist!" She suddenly turned back to Joe and led him over to the couch.
I tried my best to listen to them as I put the food out on the table. Joe really did have everything ready to go. We didn't actually need for me to do this alone, but I had wanted to give them a moment together.
Joe had opened the photo album up for her, and she was delighted to see pictures of herself, and naïve enough to not wonder why he would have them. She happily told Joe all about each photo – well, as much as she could. Sometimes it simply was her telling him that it was a picture of her. His eyes never moved from observing her the entire time. I had a feeling that he had already memorized each snapshot within the album. He looked like he was now trying to memorize the real thing. Once they were done with the album, Sophia turned to look at Joe more closely.
"What happened to your leg?"
He caught my eye and smiled. "I had an accident."
"Oh no! Did your mommy kiss it better?"
He laughed. "No, I forgot to ask her. You think I should?"
She nodded her head vigorously. "Oh yes! My mommy always kisses my owies better. Sometimes my grammy does it when Mommy is at work, but Mommy has the best kisses." She looked over at me and caught me watching them. "Mommy! Come and give Joe kisses for his owie!"
I walked the short distance to the living room area. "I think we better eat before our subs get cold."
Joe smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked a little disappointed. I held my hand out to Sophia, and I noticed Joe's eyes grow cold as they landed on my ring.
"Is that …" he started. He looked up at me with tight lips.
I clutched my hand to my chest, like I was going to hide it or something. "Oh. Yeah. He asked me last night."
Sophia watched us curiously. She turned to Joe. "Mommy's 'gaged!"
He nodded slowly. "I see that." He gave her a smile. And then started to crutch past us to the table.
Once we were seated I hoped desperately that we could change the subject, but no. Sophia was understandably happy about the upcoming wedding and wanted to talk about it.
"Mommy said I get to have cake at the we-… we- …." She frowned. "The party. And then I can get a puppy since we will move out of Grammy and Grampy's."
"A puppy?" Joe asked with some effort at enthusiasm.
I answered, "Sophia has wanted a puppy for a long time, but Dad absolutely will not agree to it. So we will just have to wait a little longer."
He blinked. "A little? Have you already set a date?"
"Well, no. He just asked last night."
"I guess you did think it was going to be soon," he said quietly.
Sophia swallowed her bite of sandwich and wiped her mouth delicately with her napkin, just like Mom had taught her. "And Dickie will be my new daddy!"
Oh God. I looked at Joe in time to see him drop his face towards his lap. But I could still see the flush of anger, or maybe it was hurt, spreading down his throat.
Sophia was completely clueless to the dagger she had just thrown at her new friend. She continued, "He's so nice and he gives me special gifts. And he always kisses my cheek and holds my hand when I ask him to."
I was aching inside for Joe. He finally looked up at Sophia, his face schooled into a mask of calm. "That's really nice, Sophia."
"Uh-huh." She took a long drink of her milk, and I quickly reached over to help her with the cup so she wouldn't spill it.
Joe wouldn't look at me, but I think he could tell that I was watching him. I should have changed the subject, but my silence opened the door again for Sophia.
"Do you have a daddy, Joe?"
He smiled at her, but it was clearly forced. "No. He's …not here."
She immediately jumped up from her seat and went to him. We both were surprised, but not as much as when she proceeded to climb up on his lap. She hugged him, and I almost cried as I watched him embrace her for the first time. His arms wrapped loosely around her slight frame, as if he was afraid to hurt her. But then she pulled him more tightly to her and laid her head against his shoulder. Slowly, he enfolded her close to his chest. Struggling to hold back some tears, he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. All too quickly she pulled back, but then she placed her little hands on his cheeks.
She stroked his cheek like I always did to her. Joe gasped quietly while Sophia smiled at him. "It's okay. My old daddy's gone too. Maybe you'll get a new daddy."
He nodded, swallowing back his emotions. He gave her a tight smile. "Your old daddy?"
"He put me in my mommy," she explained. Her little shoulders slumped as she sighed. "I miss him."
He gasped again. "You do?"
She dropped her chin down to her chest. "He doesn't want me."
What! Where did she get that?
Joe looked over her head at me, anger radiating from his whole body. He pulled her close to him and hugged her. He kept his eyes on me as he leaned down and whispered in her ear. "He loves you, Sophia. He loved you the moment he saw you."
She nodded her head against his chest. Then she jerked back again, almost knocking into his chin. "I didn't see him," she whined, close to tears.
"Yes, you did," he answered firmly.
He looked back up at me, and I knew he was going to tell her. And somehow, I couldn't bring myself to stop him. I knew there would be a serious confrontation with Dickie. But nothing mattered outside of that moment. I gave him a small nod and held my breath in anticipation. Joe somehow both relaxed and tensed up before he shifted his attention back to Sophia.
He smiled at her that wonderfully soft and goofy smile that he had greeted her with at his door. "Sophia?" He waited for her to look at him. "I'm your daddy, baby. I'm here. And I'm never going to leave you again."
She sobbed so loudly I almost jumped from my seat to get her. But she was clinging to Joe and crying into his shirt, and he was holding her tight and rubbing her back soothingly. I sat back down and let them be. He kissed her head repeatedly and kept murmuring how much he loved her into her ear.
Sophia pulled back from him again and wiped her cheeks. "You're my old daddy?"
He laughed through his tears and kissed her forehead. "I'm your only daddy."
He glanced over at me, but he was clearly not seeking my permission any longer. And he didn't need to. As happy as I was to see them finally together, it only made me realize how wrong I had been to keep them apart.
Joe stroked his fingers through her curls, his face beaming. "I have always been your daddy, Sophia, and I am so sorry I wasn't here."
She lunged at him again and hugged him tightly. "It's okay."
"I love you," he murmured into her hair.
"I love you too, Daddy."
Any hope of holding back my tears vanished as soon as I heard her sweet little voice declare her feelings for Joe. And to hear her call him 'daddy' was both heartwarming and overwhelming. I wasn't alone anymore. Sophia had two parents. I didn't know what to think about that.
Joe and Sophia continued to whisper quietly to each other, but mostly they just took each other in. Sophia reached up and touched Joe's face softly. Her little fingers slowly traced along his forehead and over his eyebrows, pausing at the scar. I thought she would ask about it, but she only studied it and then moved on. Joe's eyes were shining with love as he let her continue with her silent exploration. When she finally made it to his mouth, he opened his lips and playfully bit her fingers. She giggled loudly, and we both joined in.
"Shhh, Mommy, I'm memoring," she admonished me seriously.
Joe and I shared an amused grin before he turned his face back to her. Sophia then reached up and touched his hair.
"I got dark hair too," she said happily.
Joe wrapped one of her curls around his finger and held it up. "You know what?"
"What?"
"You have the perfect mix of my dark hair and your mommy's curls."
"You got curls too. They're baby curls."
He bit his lip. "I guess I do, but I think your curls are just as pretty as your mommy's curls."
She giggled again. "Everyone says that."
"Well, they're right." Joe shifted her on his lap and faced me. "I think we should take some pictures."
"I don't have a camera," I responded, disappointed that I hadn't thought of that.
"I've got one," he said excitedly. He started to sit Sophia back down, but then hesitated before kissing her cheek and standing up with her.
I took several pictures of the two of them together, and Joe insisted that I join them for a few since the camera had a timer on it. He sat it on top of his television while Sophia and I waited on the couch. It was the first time he had let go of her since she had climbed up on his lap at the table. As soon as he sat back down, she clamored up onto his lap again.
Joe wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. "Come on, Steph. We want to make sure no one is cut out."
"Okay." I smiled at him and scooted a little closer to them. There was a little voice in my head trying to be heard, wanting to explore what it meant to be so close to him. But I squashed it down and focused on how happy my little girl was at having her daddy. "Cheese," I sang out.
"Cheese!" Sophia squealed in delight as we waited for the camera.
.
Over an hour past her bedtime, I was finally able to tear the two of them apart. It took several promises - to both of them - that they would see each other the next day and would talk on the phone. I was beyond grateful that Sophia fell asleep in the car on the way home. I had called before we left Joe's and told Mom and Dad that I had something very important to discuss with them. It wasn't until I pulled up and saw Dickie's car sitting in the street that I remembered that I had never called him today. What a great start to our engagement!
Carefully carrying Sophia into the house, I immediately shushed everyone so I could put her to bed. I was kissing her forehead when I felt more than heard someone behind me. Dickie was standing in the door. He smiled at me and came over and kissed me briefly on the lips.
He whispered, "You owe me an explanation."
I nodded. "I know. Let's go downstairs. I owe all of you an explanation."
I pulled him into the hall, and he stopped me once again. He kissed me more passionately, and I relaxed into his embrace. I hoped he would continue to feel as amorous once he knew where I had been.
We made our way downstairs to find my parents sitting at the dining table. Mom had a cake and coffee set out. Of course.
"Thanks, Mom. It looks really nice."
She looked at me in surprise. "You're welcome?" She shook her head and sat down.
Dickie and I sat together, which was not exactly where I wanted to be. I would rather he was across from me so I could read his expressions more easily.
Dad lifted his brows at me. That was his way of telling me that I was wasting time. There was, after all, cake on the table.
"So, I … uh … There's something that I need to tell you. Well, Dickie knows part of it."
Dickie smiled a little smugly, but his grip on my thigh tightened slightly.
I looked over at Mom and took a deep breath. "You see, the truth is that I know who Sophia's father is."
My mother gasped loudly and my father continued to stare at me in silence. He shook his head.
"I didn't tell you because I never told him. And I didn't want him to know because… we didn't exactly part as friends, but he's come back and …"
Dad slapped the table. "And you hit him with my car?"
Holy shit! How did he know?
"You did what?" Dickie demanded of me. "Why didn't you tell me, Stephanie? I could have helped you get out of a lawsuit."
I huffed. "I didn't tell you because Joe isn't pressing charges. It's fine."
"Joe?" Mom asked, her eyes mostly white instead of blue. "Joseph Morelli? You slept with that boy after I warned you about him?" She shook her head. "Why won't you ever listen to me, Stephanie?"
Dad crossed his arms. "Did he even write that stuff about you?"
Dickie turned to me, a disbelieving smirk twisting his face. "This was the boy Mary Lou talked about. The one who made your life hell."
I bit my lip as I looked down at my lap. I didn't know what to say. "Yes, he wrote those things about me." For the strangest reason, I actually didn't feel good about admitting that. I almost felt like I needed to protect Joe, especially from Dickie.
Mom gasped again. "And that's the kind of boy you chose to give your precious gift to? One who uses you and abuses you?" She shook her head again. "And now we will have to deal with his whole family." She stood up and crossed to the hutch to grab the hidden bottle of alcohol. I watched her fill her coffee cup and drain it. Wow.
Dickie was practically cutting off the circulation in my leg. "We won't have to deal with anyone," he said authoritatively. "Stephanie is not going to let this get to that point. And I will be adopting Sophia. He will have no rights – he has no rights. His family, the …"
"Morellis," my mother supplied, already looking relieved at Dickie's declaration.
"The Morellis will have no reason to be a part of Sophia's life. She will be my daughter and my family will be her extended family. Eventually, she won't even remember not being my daughter."
I pried his hand from my leg. I could never do that to Joe. And now, it wasn't an option. I would lose that leg before I hurt Sophia by taking Joe away from her. She was completely captivated by him. I could barely get her to leave his lap after his big reveal. And he wasn't too keen on letting her go either. He even said that we could stay over. It was next to impossible to get her out the door. And she had cried for him in the car until she fell asleep.
"I already told him," I blurted out, regaining their attention.
"Well, you already know that was a mistake. But he still doesn't have any legal rights, Stephanie," Dickie said to me condescendingly.
I caught my dad's expression before he saw me watching. He looked pissed at Dickie. Then he masked his face. "Is there anything else, Stephanie?"
"I let him meet her tonight." I kept my chin up, even though every cell in my body was screaming to run and hide. "She knows who he is and she is completely in love with him as he is with her. I will not take that from either one of them."
Mom poured another drink. And Dad sat back, a hint of approval on his face. Dickie removed his hand from under the table and then draped his arm over my shoulder.
Everyone remained silent.
Finally, Dickie sat forward. "Obviously, Stephanie and I will have a lot to discuss, but I think we should be celebrating. We are engaged after all. And I, for one, don't want to let some mistake from Stephanie's past ruin my happiness."
I flinched when he said mistake. Because no matter what had happened between Joe and me, Sophia happened and she would never be a mistake.
Mom clapped her hands together and immediately jumped up to cut the cake. I decided to let the drama go for the night and enjoy having something to make my parents proud.
.
OoOoO
.
The next morning, Sophia immediately asked to see her daddy. I told her we would call him later and that he was at work. Since she had never known a life without me working, she seemed to accept this pretty quickly. She told Mom all about him during breakfast, thankfully not noticing the glares I was receiving. I couldn't help but giggle at her description of him. She said he was the tallest man she ever saw and was "more pretty" than Prince Charming. She also went on and on about how their eyes matched. She loved that she had his eyes and hair color, which I loved since she had complained before about not having my blue eyes. I kissed her head and then left quickly for work, before Mom could lecture me about how disappointed she was.
I had almost forgotten that my co-workers were already informed of my engagement, but I remembered as I drove into town, my ring catching the light. It really was spectacular, even if it wasn't exactly what I would have picked. And I knew that Dickie and I would still be having a serious discussion.
I also knew that Joe wanted to see Sophia again as soon as possible. His hours were fairly regular while he was still recovering from his broken leg. He wanted to take advantage of that while he could. I thought that maybe I could take Sophia to his apartment and then meet Dickie down the street for coffee and our talk. I wasn't quite ready to leave her with Joe, and he probably wasn't ready to be alone with her either. Add to that, Dickie would probably be livid if I was already letting Joe take her. I could already tell that my life had just become infinitely more complicated.
.
I was still deep in thought when I entered the hospital and ran into my long-time nemesis, Joyce Barnhardt. She didn't appear to be injured – oh well.
"Oh, excuse you," she said rudely while refusing to step aside.
I chose to ignore her and walked around her.
"I said excuse you!"
I rolled my eyes but decided to keep walking.
She latched onto my arm and whipped me around. "Who do you think you are? You think you're too good to speak to me? We all know you're just a little slut who got herself in trouble. Everyone thinks you've done such a wonderful thing just because you haven't popped out three more brats, but I know better. It's just a matter of time before you –"
I had been pulling my arm from her, doing my best to not retaliate and lose my new job, when her hand slipped to mine and snagged against the giant diamond now residing on my finger.
She gasped in pain and then snatched my hand to look at the ring. "What the fuck?"
I yanked my hand back and crossed my arms. "It's called an engagement ring. It's what happens when you meet a man who loves and respects you and actually wants to do more than use you for sex."
Her eyes flared. "I don't believe it. That's not even real."
"Fine. Suit yourself."
"Who would want to marry you? Is it the dumb-ass that left you pregnant?"
I so badly wanted to defend Joe, but she didn't know about him. And it was only going to be a matter of time before the Burg exploded with the news of Sophia's father. I smiled smugly at her. "No, he and I have a good relationship co-parenting our daughter, but we are not romantically involved anymore." There, smoke that in your pipe, bitch.
Her eyes flashed with curiosity, but she knew better than to ask me.
I continued, holding up my beautiful ring, staring at it lovingly. "My fiancé is a lawyer for Kreiner and Kreiner. He's only been in town for about a year so you probably wouldn't know him." I flashed her a brilliant smile, and noticed that she looked like she was in shock.
Her eyes met mine, and then she huffed as she crossed her arms, shifting her wide hips to the right. "I didn't realize you had lost your mind. Maybe I should leave you alone. I do have some standards and making fun of the mentally ill is even too far for me."
"You're right. I'm crazy, Joyce. I don't even work here. I just dress up like a nurse for fun." And with that I left her behind, hopefully fuming over how little she affected me.
I guess running into Joyce reminded me of what I had to be thankful for. Sophia was happy and healthy. She was going to have two doting fathers. I was getting married to an amazing man who would always take care of us. With that in mind, I entered my station with a huge smile on my face and was quickly accosted by Anna and several other nurses who wanted to hear all about my engagement.
.
Dickie was sitting in his car, waiting for me when I returned home. I took a few deep breaths before getting out of my car. We had talked briefly at lunch, but we were saving the real discussion for tonight.
I noticed him stepping from his car as I came around the back of mine. I gave him a weak smile, unsure of what kind of mood he was in.
"Come here," he said seriously. He leaned against the hood of his car and opened his arms.
"I thought we were going to have a fight," I said cautiously as I walked towards him, stopping a few feet away.
He chuckled and then leaned forward, pulling me into him. He hugged me close and kissed my neck. "I've decided fighting is a waste of our time."
"You have?"
"And I've decided that I should have handled things a little better last night."
"Really?" I shifted back and gave him a curious look. "Who are you?"
He stroked his hands through my hair, pulling it loose from the ponytail I had put it in for work. "I'm your fiancé, and I love you."
"Where were you last night?"
"Hmm." He kissed my lips softly. "You were choosing that man over us, and I … I'm afraid I let jealousy take over."
"I was choosing Sophia."
He sighed and gave me a weak smile. "It didn't feel like that last night."
"I'm sorry. I hope you know that there is no choice between you and Joe." I leaned forward and kissed him. "I already chose you."
"Did you?"
I shook my head. "I thought so. You think I need to reconsider?" I tilted my head and gave him an appraising look. "I don't know … you might need to remind me."
He grinned and then nuzzled into my neck. "I'll remind you all night if you'd like."
"Mmmm …." I sighed and let him continue to kiss along my jaw. "We still need to talk."
"Keep talking. I'll listen." He nipped at my ear and then started stroking my back and squeezing my shoulders. It felt so good that I let my head fall against his chest.
"Well … Oh, right there." I moaned in delight as his hands kneaded my shoulders. "Sophia wants to see Joe tonight. And I don't think I'm ready to let him take her alone."
"I agree."
"I want to be with you."
"I do too."
"I want to be with her too."
"Then meet him at McDonald's or someplace to have a quick dinner before coming over to my place."
"I'm pretty sure my mother would not approve of us missing dinner."
"I will stay for dinner here and you can take her to see Joe." He stopped his rubbing and lifted my chin up. "I can discuss wedding costs with your parents."
I frowned. "Wedding costs? I don't know –"
"Stephanie, let me talk with your father so we can start planning."
"We haven't even set a date."
"We will. Why are you making this more difficult? I'm offering a perfectly reasonable solution."
I leaned my head back against him. Why was I fighting this? I was tired already, and a quick visit with Joe would be plenty for Sophia. I wrapped my arms around him. "Okay. But you get to tell Mom it was your idea that Sophia and I are leaving."
"No problem."
.
Sophia was delighted to see her daddy for dinner, and Joe was just happy to see her anywhere. Wanting to keep this visit short, I recommended Wendy's instead of McDonald's since they didn't have a playroom. Joe offered to pay for our meals, and I decided to let him pay for Sophia's. I thought he might argue, but he let it drop quickly.
Once I had my tray of food, I made my way over to where Sophia and Joe were seated. They were already in deep conversation about their favorite things.
"What's your favorite color, Daddy?" Sophia asked before chewing on a single fry.
"I guess that would be blue."
"What kind of blue?"
"Like …" He looked up at me as I sat down and smiled. "Like a bright summer sky blue."
"Really? I like pink."
"You do? What about purple?"
"Uh-huh. Sometimes I like labender better."
He grinned at her mistake. "Me too."
"What about you, Steph?" Joe asked, clearly trying to include me. "You have a favorite color?"
"Mommy likes brown."
"I do?"
"You said you liked brown like my eyes." She giggled. " 'Member?"
"Oh, that's right," I said with a wink. I had told her before that her eyes made me love the color brown. It had helped her be happier about not having my blue eyes. Not that she would care anymore since she was so thrilled to have Joe's eyes.
"Like my eyes too?" Joe asked with a smirk, which I returned.
Sophia giggled. "And you like blue like Mommy's eyes!"
Joe smiled at her comment, but he quickly turned away from me. "What about songs? Do you have a favorite song?"
"Oh, I love the Beep Beep song."
Joe glanced over at me in confusion. "What's that?"
"It's the song that Bumblebott's mommy sings to him," she answered him.
"From her favorite movie," I supplied.
"Can you sing it for me?" he asked as he helped her open her dipping sauce for her chicken nuggets.
"Oh yes! It's so much fun. Mommy sing it with me!"
"No, that's okay. Daddy wants to hear you sing it." I leveled him a serious look. "Don't you?"
He opened his mouth with a mischievous glint in his eyes, but then quickly turned back to Sophia. "I just wanna hear you."
"Okay!" She bounced up and down a few times and then frowned. "Mommy?" she whispered to me. "I forget."
I sighed. "Beep beep, ding ding," I sang softly to the tune of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star'.
"Oh yeah," she said with a sheepish grin and a slap to her knee, earning a happy sigh from Joe.
"You ready, Daddy?"
"Ready," he replied seriously, sitting up straight and focusing all his attention on our little star.
"Beep beep, ding ding! Little Bott!
I'll always love you no matter what!
If you buzz or if you bumble
If you're sore –"
"You soar," I corrected her. "Like flying, remember?"
"If you soar or if you fumble!
Beep beep, ding ding! Little Bott!
I'll always love you no matter what!"
Joe just watched her in complete awe. He shook his head at her. "That was so good, baby. I loved hearing you sing. Maybe we can watch that movie sometime."
"Oh, Daddy, really?" she squealed in delight.
As I mumbled, "Oh, I'm sure you'll see it and see it and see it."
They didn't hear me and had resumed listing their other favorite things. Then Sophia went into the things she didn't like. It was cute, hearing them compare their lists of things, but Sophia had no interest in me contributing anymore to the conversation. Basically, I sat and watched out the window as they continued to learn about each other.
I was more than ready to get back home by the time they finished sharing a small Frosty. I could see that it pained Joe to say goodbye to her so soon, and it made me feel another wave of guilt that I had kept them apart. But I was getting anxious to see Dickie, who was patiently waiting for me at home. Also Sophia was getting drowsy, her cheerful mood and bubbly spirit fading quickly. She still put up a valiant effort to stay awake as Joe carried her out to my car, but she was asleep before we even pulled out of the parking lot.
.
OoOoO
.
The next day, I found Joe sitting at the dining table with my dad when I came home from work. They both looked over at me and I noticed that Sophia was snuggled on Joe's lap, clutching Lady. He must have come straight from work since he was still in his uniform.
"Hi, Steph," he said, looking slightly guilty for having invited himself over.
"Hi." I stood in the living room, a little pissed that he was in my home.
"Mommy, did you know Daddy is a please officer?"
Joe smiled broadly at her mistake and kissed her head. They seemed completely at ease with each other, and it was throwing me off.
I smiled at Sophia and nodded. "Yes, bug, I knew that. Do you like his uniform?"
"Uh-huh. Daddy said he would get me one for Halloween!"
I frowned at Joe. I had planned on using her birthday dress to make her into Belle. Dickie was going to dress as Beast, and I was going to dress as Babette, the French maid feather duster. It was going to be our first Halloween together as a family.
I smiled tightly at Sophia. "We have lots of time for Halloween, bug. We can talk about it later."
Dad stood up. "I feel like a walk to the ice cream shop. I would hate to go alone."
"I'll go, Grampy!"
"Go upstairs and grab your jacket, and then we can go." He looked over at me. "You two need to talk."
"Thanks, Dad."
Joe stood and shook his hand. "Thanks, Frank. I'm just starting to really feel like her father, and I can't imagine how much I would hate me if I were you. Thank you for your support."
Dad nodded and then headed to the bottom of the stairs. He stopped next to me and kissed my temple. "He has rights, Stephanie. Whether you file papers or not."
I blinked at him in surprise. "I know."
He lifted his brows and then turned away as Sophia came hopping down the stairs.
"Bye, Mommy! Bye, Daddy!" Still not used to that.
I waited until they were out the door before I turned back to Joe. He was sitting again at the table, his hands steepled under his chin. Taking a deep breath, I crossed over and sat in Mom's chair since he was in mine.
"You should have called me."
"I didn't know where to reach you, Stephanie, or I would have. I called here and your father said to come on over."
"What were you thanking him for?"
"For giving me a chance." He smiled. "I did get his teenage daughter pregnant and then left her."
I huffed at that. "Don't forget the crap you wrote about me all over town."
"I didn't." He looked down at the table. "I'm so sorry."
"You already … no, actually, you didn't."
"I know."
"It's fine, Joe. I survived. And I learned really quickly who were my real friends."
He just nodded, his lips tight.
"Is that why you are here? To apologize?"
"No. I wanted to talk to you about taking Sophia to meet my family. I haven't told them yet. I thought we should talk about it first."
"Good thing my mother isn't here. She's not looking forward to sharing Sophia." Says the person who whole-heartedly agreed with her this morning.
"At least she has had a chance to know her." He immediately sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"Then why did you?"
He grimaced. "I think we should talk about what happened before I left."
"Why? I think the only thing we need to worry about is Sophia's well-being."
"Stephanie, I don't think you understand why I did what I did."
"I don't care, Joe. It was almost five years ago." I almost believed that.
"I told you that I saw you at that –"
"Joe! I don't want to talk about it. We both hurt each other. I think that is clear. I'm sorry, you're sorry. Now, let's figure out how we are going to move forward for Sophia."
His eyes narrowed. I could tell he was frustrated. "Fine. I'm telling my mom tonight then."
"Fine."
"She's going to want to meet her. Can we set up something for this weekend? I'm off on Saturday."
"No problem."
"I work late tomorrow night. I would like to call Sophia before she goes to bed. What time should I call?"
"She's usually in bed by 9. Bath at 8. How about after 8:30? You can tell her goodnight."
"Thank you."
"Okay then." I started to stand up, but Joe stopped me.
"I don't want us to be like this, Stephanie."
"I don't know what to say to you, Joe."
"We were friends once. Can we just work on that again?"
"Were we?"
"Yes. You were my closest friend before I left."
"I doubt that."
"Well, you were." He waited for me to look at him. "Remember how I could tell you anything?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, and?"
He laughed. "And you always told me what you were thinking. I would like for you to be honest with me. I promise to be honest with you. We are going to have to trust each other."
I crossed my arms. I highly doubted I would ever trust him again. "I can be honest with you."
"Good." He smiled at me. "I think you've done such a great job with her."
"Thanks."
"How did you come up with her name?"
I blushed. "It's stupid. Not her name. Just how I chose it."
He leaned closer to me. "Come on. Tell me. I want to know."
"I was only seventeen," I reminded him.
"I know," he said gravely.
"Well, I wanted her to have 'p-h' in her name."
"Why?"
"We both have 'p-h' in our names, and I wanted her to have it too. Or him. I didn't know she was a she."
"Really? So she could have been … Phyllis?" He flashed me a striking grin, and I hated that I enjoyed it.
"No." I laughed. "She could have been Phoebe."
He smiled. "I like Sophia."
"Me too. And it went better with Grace."
"And what made you choose Grace?"
"Father O'Riley. He always told me that God gave us grace so that we could move forward and be better people. He said that God had enough grace to cover the worst of our sins. He would always then tell me that the baby was not a sin. The baby was a blessing. It was kind of hard to believe that at the time, but I really needed to believe that God forgave me for …" I looked over at him. "It was always more about what happened with Rick. Not you."
"Rick?"
"The guy from the party." I gasped. "I can't believe I just told you his name. Shit. Don't repeat that. No one else knows."
He looked a little confused. "She really is mine, right?"
"Of course she is. I told you he was blond. And I told you that we used a condom." I did not want to have this conversation. "Don't you believe me? How can you even question this after you have told her? Do you know what that would do to her if you changed your mind? I told you that you would need time. I told you that -"
"Steph!" He shook his head. "I don't know why I asked that. She's mine. I can feel it. And I can see me in her too. I know with everything I am that I am her father."
I slowly relaxed into my seat. "Anyway, I knew pretty quickly that I wanted her middle name to be Grace."
"What if she was a boy?"
"I never decided," I lied. There goes that being honest thing. That was quick.
I had wanted to name the baby Riley Joseph. I figured no one would ever make the connection since no one had known about me even talking to Joe other than Big Red. But looking back, I think that may have been wishful thinking. It was hard for me to remember how much I still loved him when she was born. It had taken me a long time to push those feelings away. Of course, every time I had to endure being treated like an outcast, it made it a little bit easier. Having Joe back in my life was bringing back all the turmoil of those first couple of years after he left. And I couldn't seem to let go of my anger.
Joe smiled as though he didn't believe me, but he was smart enough to not press the issue. "Well, I will let you go. I will call tomorrow night and I'll let you know what the plan is for this weekend."
"Okay," I said simply.
I watched him hobble out of the house, feeling only slightly less guilty about hitting him with the car than I felt about keeping Sophia from him. I placed my head in my hands and leaned my elbows onto the table. My whole life was about to change again because of Joe. In all my high school fantasies about what our lives would be like, I never imagined how difficult it would be to share Sophia with him. And soon, the Morellis.
I groaned out loud as the picture of my new reality became clearer. "Maybe they won't really care that Joe has a daughter… Oh, who am I kidding?" I asked myself and then thumped my head against the table.
.
.
.
Thank you! Please leave a review! I want to know what you are thinking. This story is outlined and much is written, but your comments do help me know how things are coming across so I can make adjustments. :)
