A/N: Julie, you rock. That is all.

Everyone else, sorry for the delay.

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A Change In Me

Chapter Eleven


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Somehow, I managed to convince Sophia that we were sticking with her Belle dress for Halloween. Of course, it didn't hurt that Joe agreed with me. Pretty much anything Joe said was right in Sophia's mind. It was driving me crazy. But Joe, for the most part, wanted to keep peace between us so it really was more on principle that I was annoyed.

Halloween night, Val came over to see Sophia dressed up. She was only a few weeks from her due date, and I sort of loved seeing her waddle through the house. They were in my room while I was finishing up my own costume. I could just see them when I peaked out the door.

"Oh, Sophie! You look just like Belle!" she gushed as Sophia twirled around in her dress.

"Thank you, Auntie Val! You like my gloves? Mommy said they make it perfect." Sophie stuck out her little arms now covered with long golden yellow gloves. Not only did they really make her costume complete, but they would help keep her warm.

"Oooh, those are so pretty. And did your mommy do your hair?" she asked in disbelief.

I came in from the bathroom where I had been putting on the last of my makeup. "Hey! I can hear you! Yes, I did her hair."

"Stop being so –" She stopped and gaped at me as I entered my room.

"What? Is it too much?" I gestured down to my super cool and expensive Babette costume. Dickie had splurged on our costumes. I couldn't wait to see him as the Beast.

"No! You look great!" She smiled really broadly and then tried to get up from my bed.

I quickly helped her up. "Thanks. I've never dressed up in a designer costume before. It's kind of awesome."

"Dickie is going to love this, Steph. I can't wait to see the three of you together. What a great idea! Oh, I can't wait to play dress up with this little one."

"When's the baby come out?" Sophia asked, like she did every single time she saw Val.

"Just a few more weeks," Val answered, rubbing her large belly. "Hey, maybe I can borrow that from you next year?" she asked me.

"Sure." I gave her a funny look. "You think you're going to be able to fit in it?"

Immediately, her eyes started to water. "I'm so fat!" She started crying.

"Valerie! You're not fat. You are nine months pregnant. Do you remember how big I was? And I lost the weight. You will too. I'm sorry. Please stop crying."

Sophia came over to me and clung to my legs. She looked up at me and I could see she was moments from crying too. "Sophie, don't worry about Auntie Val. She's fine."

"But she's crying really loud, Mommy."

"I know, bug. Sometimes pregnant women cry." I looked up at Val and gave her a glare.

"Your mommy is right, Sophie." She sniffed dramatically a few times, but thankfully, she stopped the sobbing. "I'm fine."

"Steph!" Mom called up the stairs. "Your phone is ringing!"

I quickly made my way down the stairs to get my phone. Mom handed it to me while it was still ringing. Her eyes widened as she took in my costume, especially the bustier portion that was showcasing my chest quite nicely.

I rolled my eyes at her and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, I have something to take care of tonight." It was Dickie. He sounded all business.

"It's Halloween, Dickie. We're all ready to go."

"Stephanie, it's a big case and the judge could care less if I took time off to go trick-or-treating. Bring her by the office so I can see you both."

"Okay, we will come by later – if you're still there."

"Just call me before you head over. In case I'm already home."

"Will you still dress up tonight?"

"I didn't know you were into that kind of thing, Steph. Would that be some form of bestiality?"

"Ewww! No! For some pictures!" I looked up at my mom who was still standing close by and listening. "I will call you when we get done trick-or-treating."

"Okay. I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you." I hung up and sighed. Sometimes Dickie said the weirdest things as jokes. I hoped he wasn't harboring some secret fetish I didn't know about.

Mom arched a brow. "He's not coming?"

"No. He has to work."

"You need to set some boundaries with his work before you get married, Stephanie. He needs to learn that work cannot always come first."

"It's not that simple, Mom. His job is demanding and he has to show them that he is someone worth keeping and promoting."

She shrugged. "Fine. You better get going."

"Princess Belle!" I called up the stairs. "Let's go!"

Sophia came flying down the stairs, and I quickly stopped her before she tumbled at the bottom.

"Candy!" She screamed loudly and jumped up and down.

Valerie eventually made her way downstairs and helped Mom pose us for pictures. Dad offered to come with us after Mom suggested not so subtly that I add a wrap to my costume.

I ignored Mom and turned to my dad. "It's okay, Dad. You've been on your feet all day. We're good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. You ready, bug?"

"Where's DD?"

"He has to work. But we will go see him later, okay?" I tried to sound as cheerful as possible. It seemed to work since she wasn't too disappointed.

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I sat Sophia down to review our rules for the night when there was a knock on the door. We needed to get a move on it if there were already trick-or-treaters. I told Mom I would take care of it and crossed over to grab the large bowl of candy.

Opening the door, I was prepared to look down to see some little witch or superhero. I was not prepared to see a tall and handsome prince, decked out in what looked to be some kind of fancy military suit. Holy hotness!

I quickly looked up to see Joe staring back at me with his mouth parted. His eyes were raking over me in appreciation before they came to rest on mine.

"Wow," he breathed. "You look … " He smiled. "You look amazing, Stephanie."

I was completely surprised to see him, but I was even more confused that my heart was ready to beat out of my chest. "Is that your uniform?" I asked breathlessly. I tried not to blush as I recalled a vivid fantasy of mine, á la "An Officer and a Gentleman", that I used to have when I was pregnant.

He grabbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. I took off all the patches and metals. My mom gave me this red sash. Not sure how legal this is." He laughed softly.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, blinking rapidly and trying to calm my nerves.

"I asked to shift my hours around. I didn't want to miss this." He blushed. "Not you. Sophia. I didn't want to miss Halloween with her."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"No, I didn't mean … " He huffed and then the smile was gone. "Where's Dickie?"

"He's not going to be able to make it," I answered as if it was no big deal, even though I was still pretty upset about him canceling.

He smiled quickly and then tried to mask it. "Oh, that's too bad."

"Yeah, you look so upset. So this is your costume?"

"Yes. I thought I'd be the prince – unless we run into another police officer, then I'm a Naval officer."

I bit my lip and tried not to laugh as I took in his embarrassment.

"Where's my Belle?" he asked.

I turned around to find Sophia watching the T.V. "Sophia, you ready to go?"

She jumped up and ran to me and almost into Joe, who was still standing in the door.

"DADDY!" She jumped up into his arms. "You're here! Oh, Daddy, I'm so happy!"

"Of course I'm here, princess. And tonight, I'm your prince." He pulled out a golden crown and placed it on his head, briefly blushing as he caught my wide-eyed gaze.

Sophia went completely silent. Joe looked at me in concern, but I knew her well enough to know that she had reached a point of such joy that she couldn't express herself.

I smiled at him. "She's just overwhelmed. You like that Daddy is your prince, bug?"

She nodded and then gave him a coy smile. Oh brother.

Joe kissed her cheek. "You ready to get some candy?"

She bounced in his arms, but she was still quiet.

I leaned into him and whispered, "Do Naval officers wear crowns these days?"

He flicked his eyes to mine, a mixture of annoyance and amusement on his face. "This one does."

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OoOoO

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It took three houses for Sophia to really start talking again. She loved hearing everyone react to our three costumes. I had to admit that we did look pretty awesome together. And I noticed more than one mom checking out Joe as we passed them on the sidewalks. I couldn't blame them. He looked great. He even had some gel in his hair to give it a more styled look. I preferred his natural look, but it did make him even more the handsome fairytale prince. If only it were true.

Wait. No. I had Dickie, who was better than a fairytale. He was real. Even if he couldn't be here.

Once we made it to Mrs. Morelli's house, Sophia was telling everyone that her daddy was her prince. Joe's mom already thought Sophia was adorable, but she raved when Sophia informed her that she was marrying her daddy. And then she made a huge fuss over their costumes. Yes. Theirs, not mine.

"Thanks for watching Sophia yesterday, Mrs. Morelli," I said brightly as we entered her living room. She wanted pictures too of course.

"She's such a sweet girl – so much like Joseph at that age. He was always so well behaved. And I love having my grandchildren over so don't hesitate to ever ask."

"Ma, I wasn't ever as sweet as Sophia." Joe smiled over a sucker hanging from his mouth as he continued checking Sophia's candy so she could have a piece.

"Of course you were." She waved her hand dismissively as she continued to look for the camera. "Stephanie, where is your fiancé?" she asked as she pulled the camera out of the cupboard, a happy look on her face.

"He had to work."

"Oh, that's too bad. Now, Joseph, don't let her get chocolate on her pretty dress."

"She's fine."

"I want some pictures to remember the first holiday I got to spend with your first child. I've missed so much already. Now stand up and hold her so I can get some close ups."

That wasn't aimed at me at all. Nope. Not at all.

Joe smiled at me and took the candy away from Sophia, who stared at him, wide-eyed. I think this was the first time he had pissed her off. Finally.

Sophia narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms. "That's my candy, Daddy. That was not nice!"

"I'm sorry, princess. I'll give it back as soon as Grandma takes some pictures, okay? We don't want to ruin your Belle dress before pictures do we?" He smiled encouragingly at her.

"I already got pictures! I want my candy!"

"Sophia," he said gently as he bent over her, "my mommy hasn't taken any pictures yet."

"I don't care!" She stomped her foot and turned away from him.

Joe looked at me and his mother, surprise on his face. He reached for her again, but she pulled away with another stomp. He growled low in frustration, his easy smile fading into a grimace. I chuckled, but Mrs. Morelli turned to me and shook her head in disapproval.

I sighed. "Sophia, Daddy wasn't trying to be mean." He frowned at me as I held my hand out to him. "Give me the candy."

"Why?"

"Just give it." I stared him down, challenging him to oppose me. He narrowed his eyes and then looked back at Sophia before giving in.

He pulled out the opened mini Snickers bar and handed it to me. I carefully unwrapped it and crouched down next to Sophia. I looked up at Joe to give him a smug smile, but he wasn't looking at my face. I glanced down to see the spectacular view of my chest he was enjoying. Now the smug smile easily stretched across my face as I cleared my throat. Mrs. Morelli snorted in disgust as Joe blinked and stuttered.

"Daddy?" I said sweetly, enjoying his embarrassment. "It would probably be easier to just help her than to, you know … take candy away from a small child." I kissed Sophia's nose, earning a giggle and then carefully fed her the chocolate. I kissed her lips and pretended I could taste the chocolate. "Mmm. Yummy. Thanks for sharing."

"Oh, Mommy! You're so silly."

"Ready for pictures?"

"Uh-huh." She wrapped her arms around my neck and I stood us up, turning back to Joe and Mrs. Morelli.

Mrs. Morelli pursed her lips. She looked back and forth between Joe and me. Joe seemed to have recovered and stepped in closer to us so we could pose for the pictures.

"Go ahead, Ma."

"Sophia, why not let your daddy hold you?"

Joe shared a quick, apologetic look with me.

"No!" Sophia turned and buried her face in my neck. "He's mean!"

Joe's face fell, and I felt the tiniest bit bad for him. I probably should have let him give her the chocolate back. But it had been over a month of Sophia always picking Joe over me. I was ready for it to end.

"Sophia? Princess? I'm sorry," he pleaded. "Please don't be mad."

I rolled my eyes at him. And Mrs, Morelli sighed. I looked at her curiously before turning back to Joe. "You have the right to take candy from her, Joe. Maybe you should have explained it to her first. But that does not excuse her yelling at you or treating you like this." I shifted Sophia to see her face, but she knew what was coming and looked away. "Sophia Grace! You look at me right now."

"Yes, Mommy." She kept her chin down and her bottom lip was jutted forward. This always worked on Joe, and she had forgotten that it did nothing with me.

"Put that lip away."

She gaped at me and then scrunched up her face in anger. Suddenly, I almost dropped her as she started squirming to get down.

"Are we done trick-or-treating?" I asked as I struggled to keep her in place.

"NOOOOO! Let me down, Mommy! We need to go! NOW!"

Joe reached for her and I pulled away. "Stop it right now, Sophia. Right now." I crouched back down and stood her in front of me. I gently took her face in my hands. "You hurt your daddy's feelings. I need you to apologize. Then we are taking pictures. And then we will go back outside. Can we do that?"

"Steph, it's fi-" Joe started.

Both Mrs. Morelli and I cut him off with, "No, it's not." We looked at each other. I noticed a glimmer of respect in her eyes.

She continued, "Stephanie is right, Joseph."

Wow.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Sophia whimpered. "Am I still your princess?"

Joe hesitated, but I smiled at him. He crouched down next to me. "You will always be my princess, Sophia. And thank you for saying sorry. I love you." He tapped her nose. "You know I just wanted to keep your pretty dress and gloves clean. Daddy will work on explaining things better, and you can work on listening to Mommy and Daddy, okay?"

"Okay. I love you." She kissed his cheek and then kissed mine. "I love you too, Mommy."

"I love you. Now lets get some pictures."

Shockingly, Mrs. Morelli didn't kick me out of the pictures. Of course, I would probably never see them so she may have been cutting me out of the shot. Sophia had wanted Joe to hold her once they made up, and I went back to being old news. It wasn't so bad, though, because I could walk behind them and secretly enjoy the candy. Being only four, Sophia was still kind of a light-weight when it came to trick-or-treating, but that didn't stop me from making Joe carry her to each house until it was time to go home. I refused to call it a night without a full harvest.

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OoOoO

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We made it back to my house with Sophia completely wiped out and still in Joe's arms. I had called Dickie, but he didn't answer. I wasn't sure what to do. Sophia was not going to get back up, but I still wanted to get the picture with Dickie. Joe stood in the entryway, waiting for my instructions. My parents were still with Grandma and Grandpa Mazur. I tried calling Dickie one more time. Nothing.

"Let's just go ahead and put her in bed." I gestured to the stairs.

"Okay." He headed up in front of me, and it wasn't until we were at the top that I noticed his butt in my face. I was so distracted wondering about Dickie, I had missed ogling the best ass in Trenton. I felt a mixture of relief and disappointment.

I walked past him and opened my bedroom door. It was weird to think that he had never been up here before. Sometimes I forgot how little of a relationship we had before he left. Despite what Joe thought, he had always been in my mind over the last five years. How could he not have been? I dreamed so many dreams about him in this room, it almost felt like we had lived all those scenes for real. And that was why I was convinced that he really was only a fairytale. I wasn't sure anymore if I loved him or the version of him I had created in my mind to sustain myself all those months leading up to Sophia's birth.

Joe smiled at me as he laid her in her small bed. I came over and kissed her on the forehead.

We both stood next to her and watched her for a moment. It was like I had stepped right into one of those old fantasies.

Joe took my hand and squeezed it. "Thank you," he said softly.

I tried not to yank my hand from him. It kind of felt like the wrong moment to do something like that. So instead, I turned to him and looked up into his eyes. "Thank you."

He smiled and then reached up to brush one of my loose curls from my face. "I want you to know that I forgive you for keeping her from me."

I pulled back slightly, surprised at his statement. I had thought we were past that already. "You hadn't already?"

"No. But I don't want to hold onto anger and resentment. It's not going to help us."

"I agree."

He leaned down and looked me straight in the eyes. "Does that mean you forgive me too?"

I did pull my hand free – without even thinking about it. Joe straightened back up and gave me a sad smile. He looked back at Sophia. I just stood watching him, unsure of what to say. I wanted to forgive him, but something kept me from telling him. I didn't feel comfortable. It felt like I was standing on the precipice of a huge pool, swirling with long-forgotten emotions. One dip and I just might drown.

Joe sighed before turning back to me. "I want to tell you what happened before I left."

"It's not going to change anything."

"It might."

"Fine. Let's go downstairs. We'll wake her up if we stay up here."

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We headed down to the kitchen where I heated up some apple cider. It had been getting chilly by the time we had decided to call it a night. I even had wished I had brought that wrap Mom had suggested, but I would never admit that to her. Especially not after the wonderfully awkward moment with Joe at his mom's house.

I was so confused. Clearly, I was still very much attracted to him. But that was not to be helped. Even all the married women were openly admiring him tonight - in front of their husbands and children! But attraction was not enough for me anymore. I had to think about what was best for me and for Sophia. And I just couldn't risk it. If Joe hurt me again, how could I ever trust him with Sophia? And what if he got tired of playing daddy? I would kill him if he ever betrayed her precious heart. It was too soon to know, and yet it was too late to find out.

Dickie was our future. He was stable. He loved us. He would provide for us. We would have a good life with Dickie. And no matter what Joe said, nothing would change any of that.

I sat across from him and leaned back in my chair, my mug warming my fingers. "Okay, spill."

He laughed as he placed his mug back on the table next to his discarded crown. He sat forward, leaning his elbows on the table. "I guess I wanted you to know that I never intended on just leaving without speaking to you again."

"Yeah, I think you've said that before. Or something like that. Joe, do we really need to rehash what happened?"

He sat back and took a slow drink of his cider, his face revealing that he was thinking about what to start with. Finally, he placed his mug down and looked me straight in the eyes. "I was scared."

"Scared?"

"I was almost nineteen, enlisted in the Navy, no future without it. I …" He sighed heavily. "You were just seventeen."

"And you knooow what I me-ean." I sang softly, trying to lighten him up. Or maybe trying to avoid this conversation. It wasn't as if anything was going to change.

He smirked at me. "And I fell in love with her."

I laughed out loud, purposely avoiding what I thought he was trying to say. "Nice. So what were you scared about?"

"No, Steph. I fell in love with you." He scooted his chair closer to mine. "You were this quirky girl who had fascinated me for such a long time. And then I got to know you. And you were so much more. You were so strong and independent, so unaware of how sexy you were. And I fell so hard for you."

"Good," I said brightly, trying to cover how much my mind was racing. "I always told Sophia that she was made from love. Well, when she was in me and when she was a baby. I wouldn't tell her that now. That would just open up an entire conversation I am not ready to have yet. It's really been a miracle that she hasn't asked how exactly the daddies are putting the babies into the mommies. Though I think she thinks it has to do with French kissing. She said something once about Steven putting another baby into Val after she caught them kissing. Maybe it's the tongues? I don't know and I am definitely not asking."

He sat back and smiled at me. "I'm making you nervous."

"Uh, no. Why would you think that?"

"You're rambling. It's cute. And new. You never did this before."

"We barely knew each other before." I recalled quickly all my thoughts about him being the illusion and Dickie being the real thing. I needed to stick with that. "We obviously weren't close enough to be honest with each other. I mean, I loved you, but I didn't tell you. And now you are telling me you loved me, but you proceeded to hook up with that girl." That girl named Becky, who I could still see pressed up against him.

He raked his hands through his gelled hair, causing it to stand almost straight up. I would have laughed if I weren't so upset. "And that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I did love you, and it scared the shit out of me. I honestly didn't think I was capable of feeling … of feeling so much." He looked at me with bright eyes. "I left the Tasty Pastry that night feeling like I had just made the worst mistake of my life."

I stood up with a loud scrape of my chair. "I think I've heard enough. She will never be a mistake. Never." I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.

"That is not what I mean." He cupped my face. "Don't ever think for one second I regret her. I love her more than my own life."

I could feel the heat spreading from his hands on my cheeks down my throat and onto my half-exposed chest. His eyes glanced down and then darkened. I pushed him away and plopped back down into the seat. I glared at him as he sat back down.

"Did you know I took the condom out of my wallet that night?"

"Why would I know that? And why would you do that?" My breath caught. If he had just done what he always did, we wouldn't have Sophia. I looked at him again. "Why?"

"To keep me from sleeping with you." He shrugged and gave me a lop-sided grin. "Obviously didn't work. I knew I was a lost cause the moment I saw you through the window."

"And that's the worst mistake of your life?"

"I left the Tasty Pastry knowing that …" He stared at me intently. "What little bit of my soul you did not own before I made love to you was then firmly in your possession."

I almost coughed as my breath caught in my throat. But I couldn't forget how I had unknowingly been the other woman. And he had gone straight back to his girlfriend. I narrowed my eyes at him.

He held up his hands. "Okay, I didn't think those exact thoughts at eighteen. It was more like I knew I would never be able to walk away and leave this place behind as long as I thought you might be here waiting for me."

"Waiting for you?"

"That night, when I got home, all I could think about was how unfair it was that we weren't both older or both going off to college together. I had to leave, and you … well, as I said before, you were just seventeen. I let myself hope that someday I could come back and we could really see what we could be. I hoped that you would write me. And I thought I could come back on leave and see you."

"And then what? Your girlfriend came over and made you forget?"

"No. We'll get back to that in a minute. But I woke up the next day and thought I wasn't ready to be that guy. That guy who was ready to … to commit I guess. I was freaked out. And I'm so sorry. I should have called you. I should have talked to you. I should have –"

My cell rang. I reached over and answered it. "Hey, where have you been?"

"A meeting. You still coming over? I'm just leaving the office."

"No, Sophia passed out. I think I will just go to bed."

"I really want to see you, baby. I think I deserve to see that costume I bought."

I looked at Joe. He looked like he was ready to take my phone and throw it against the wall. "Come over here. I want to see you too."

"Okay, be there in ten. Love you."

"Love you too."

Joe glared at me. "He's on his way?"

"Yep."

"We need to finish this conversation, Stephanie."

"There's really nothing else left to say, Joe. We were young and in love and were not ready for anything more than a high school romance. And well, I wasn't ready to be a mother, but we all have things in life to deal with."

"I wish I could change it. I wish so much I could go back …"

"We can't. It's that simple. We're not even the same people anymore."

"We're still –"

"We're Sophia's parents. That's it." I stood up and took our mugs to the sink. "I think you should go before Dickie gets here."

He stopped at the kitchen door. "I never would have hurt you on purpose."

"But you did." I wiped my hands on the towel and then turned to face him. "I forgive you." Somehow, it didn't feel as freeing as it was supposed to. I think that maybe I was lying. How did you not know if you were lying?

He blinked at me and shook his head. "That sounds like a dismissal."

"I guess in some ways it is. I'm not waiting for you, Joe. Don't wait for me."

He clenched his jaw and gave me a curt nod before turning away and leaving.

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OoOoO

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Joe kept his distance for the next few days. He called every night to talk with Sophia, but he didn't drop by and he didn't ask me to bring her to him. Sophia was throwing a fit by the fourth day. She actually accused me of not letting him see her. It was time for this to end.

I drove straight to Joe's after work. The next night was a dinner party at one of Dickie's co-worker's house. Joe and I needed to talk about whether he wanted Sophia for the night. I had a feeling that if he knew later that I had been gone all night, he would be mad I hadn't brought her to him.

I grabbed my phone to call him, but I had forgotten to charge it. Damn. Well, hopefully, he would be home. It was already seven, surely he would be there. I knew with his leg pretty much healed, he was going to be on the streets soon, but I tried not to think about the danger he would be facing all the time.

I knocked on his door. I could hear some movement inside. "Hey, Joe! It's me, Stephanie. I need to talk to you about this weekend … and other stuff."

Nothing.

"Joe! I can hear you!"

"Just a minute," came his muffled reply.

I huffed and then leaned against the wall next to the door until I heard it unlock. Joe opened the door and peered out into the hall. "This isn't a good time."

"It won't take long, just a few minutes. We need to talk about things." I raised my brows at him.

He frowned and looked behind him. "I've said all I have to say."

"Well, I haven't!"

I pushed past him and into the living room where a leggy blonde was perched on his couch, wearing his uniform shirt and nothing else. I turned back to him and noticed that he was in a t-shirt and gym shorts. As I shifted my attention back to the woman, I saw his pants on the floor. My stomach immediately dropped as I took in the scene before me. Oh my God! He was having sex!

Joe walked around to stand between me and the now concerned-looking woman. "Steph, this is Jessica. Jessica this is Stephanie. I work with Jessica. And Stephanie is … my daughter's mother."

Jessica and I stared at each other, both looking unsure of what to do. I smiled as best as I could before turning back to Joe. "I'm going to a dinner party tomorrow night with Dickie and will be staying with him. Would you like to keep Sophia?" I bit my lip as I thought about her being around this woman. "Only if you don't have other plans. My parents will keep her if you are going to have … company." I glanced at Jessica, who seemed completely lost.

Joe looked over at Jessica, but she didn't seem to catch on to what I had said. "Um … yeah, I would love to have Sophia again."

"And only Sophia?"

He frowned. "Does she have a twin brother you've kept from me?"

"That! That is why we need to talk. I know you're pissed at me, but you can't let that affect your relationship with your daughter, Joe. That's not how this works."

"I'm not pissed at you," he stated, sounding very much pissed off.

"She thinks I won't let her see you. Do you know how unfair that is?"

He smiled wryly. "Yes. Yes, I do."

"Urrgh! Fine. Just pick her up sometime in the afternoon. And I will come get her Saturday whenever you want. Unless you want to bring her to church then I can meet you there."

"Okay then."

"Fine." I rolled my eyes and looked over at Jessica, who was playing with her split ends. "It was nice to meet you." She didn't even look up. "Jessica."

"Yeah?" she looked over at me like I had just walked in. As she shifted, I could see that she was definitely not wearing a bra under his shirt.

"Nice to see yo – uh … um… nice to meet you." Maybe I could just find a time machine and undo this entire visit.

"Oh, it was so nice to meet you!" She jumped up from the couch and stuck one hand out as she looped her other arm through Joe's.

I shook her hand and glanced at Joe. He looked extremely uncomfortable. Well, that made two of us. "I'll let you get back to …" Shit! What was I thinking? "Umm."

"Sex," she answered simply with a bright smile. "We were having sex."

I tried desperately not to show how much that bothered me, but I think Joe could tell that it did.

He let go of her and started to walk me to the door. "Jessica is such a kidder. She's really funny."

"No, I'm not," Jessica chimed in right behind us as she was following us to the door. "We were going at it on –"

"Thank you," I cut in. "I get it. Goodbye." I quickly made my way into the hall.

Joe grabbed my arm just before I could turn the corner. "Hey. I'm sorry for … the last few days. You're right. I don't want Sophia to think we don't get along."

I nodded, my lips pressed together.

"I want us to get along," he continued. "We have been. I just … I thought the other night would have … I don't know. I just thought that it would have meant something to you."

I frowned at him, afraid to open my mouth and either yell at him or cry. I took a few deep breaths. "It did mean something to me. I'm glad that Sophia came from a place of love, and not just lust. But …" I looked past him to his door. "We both have moved on."

His whole body sagged as he put a hand to his forehead. "It's really not …" He suddenly looked up at me. "You're right. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Okay."

We both stood frozen for a moment, but Jessica peered out from Joe's apartment and called for him. Joe grimaced at me, indicating how much he knew it bothered me. That pissed me off for two reasons: I didn't want his pity or whatever that was, and I shouldn't have let him see that he was right. He turned back to her, and I bolted to the stairwell as quietly as possible, vaguely hearing him telling her to go back inside.

I would not let him see me cry. And why the hell was I crying? Just because Joe was having sex with some stupid (like actually stupid not just because I didn't like her) slutty woman?

Yes.

I was upset with him. How was it he got to have flings while I had to be the responsible parent? There's no way he could actually be serious about her. Could he?

It didn't matter. As long as he kept Sophia away from whoever he was seeing, I had no reason to care. Just like I said, we both had moved on.

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Thank you. For your patience, your kindness, and the review you are composing in your head already. :)