A/N: I'm still here. I have no good excuses except that I simply lost all motivation to write. The other thing is that RL is kind of kicking my butt right now. I'm super stressed and struggling with some things. Honestly, I find it difficult to dream up things when I'm losing my own dreams. That's sounds pretty awful, I know. It's not as dramatic as that sounds. Just at a crossroads right now and not happy with my choices. Those I've already made and those ahead of me. Like I said - struggling. But I do miss the Cupcakes. I want to finish this so badly. I do have ideas, but not a lot is connected well after this chapter. Give me your thoughts and maybe they will inspire me.

Julie, I think you have seen this. It's been so long. I'm sorry! I'm sure you gave me excellent advice. :)

BTW, this is not going quite where you will want it to. Not yet.


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A Change In Me

Chapter Sixteen


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Sophia was determined to have a movie night with Joe once she realized that he had never actually seen "Beauty and the Beast". This came to light when she saw a picture of them from Halloween. She was telling him that his prince costume didn't really match the movie but that it was okay with her since he was "more hansen anyway". He admitted to never having seen it, and then she begged for a movie night for the next two weeks.

I wasn't there when this happened, but Mrs. Morelli made sure to tell me all about it when she brought Sophia back one afternoon, along with a picture of the three of us that I didn't even know she took. We really looked like the perfect little family. It was just after Sophia had apologized to Joe on Halloween. In the picture, she was kissing my cheek, and my eyes were closed. Joe was looking at us both with so much love. Mrs. Morelli of course pointed this out with a sad sigh.

I hid the picture in one of my drawers. Just looking at it made me think things I had no business thinking. Like, what if we were supposed to be a family? Had I made another mistake in not really waiting for Joe? And the tiniest voice of all whispered in the darkest corners of my mind. Was I trading in spectacular for safe?

.

Finally, we had time to have our movie night, after Val had left the Burg for her new life in sunny California. Joe agreed to order pizza and to keep Sophia for the night, but I had to stay and watch the movie with them. I agreed since Dickie had to be out of town for two nights, and I would be on my own any way. I hadn't been spending as much time with Joe and Sophia lately. Something had definitely shifted on Christmas morning. And even though I had thought we had become friends again, instead the Becky incident seemed to have pushed us apart. Or maybe it was just me. I always felt like I was disappointing him somehow, and it pissed me off. Dickie and the wedding were enough to deal with, I didn't need Joe adding to my stress.

Sophia made it about halfway through the movie before she passed out on the couch. She had twirled around the room, singing and dancing to "Be Our Guest" four times. Yes. We took the movie back four times to that part. Joe just loved watching her perform for us; I was hoping that the videotape would bust. I may have encouraged her to do it that last time when I heard a faint squeal come from the VCR. But that left Sophia worn out and once her tummy was full of pizza, she was out like a light.

Joe carried her into her bedroom so we could speak freely. She had begun sleeping in there recently. I could tell he was a little disappointed that she didn't need to be with him anymore. But he was also proud of her for being brave enough to be in her own room.

He came back in and plopped onto the couch. "Okay if we turn on the game?"

"You mean you aren't recording it in the other room?" I asked, wide-eyed.

"No. I don't have a TV in my bedroom."

"Oh. I haven't been in there." I did an internal eye-roll. Why did that sound like I was complaining?

He smirked at me and used the remote to switch the VCR off and the game on. "You want a beer?"

"Um …" I looked over at his wall clock. It was only 8:30. "Sure. You have any cake?"

He pushed off the couch. "Beer and cake?"

"Um, yeah. Cake and anything."

"Well, you are in luck, Miss Plum. My mother brought me half a cake yesterday."

I bit my lip in excitement. "What kind?"

"Chocolate of course. My favorite." He went to the kitchen and came back with the cake on a platter and a six-pack under his arm.

We sat and watched the game, enjoying the food and beer. By the time the game ended, Joe flipped the channel to find a movie. I was about to leave, but he tossed me another beer.

A commercial came on at one point about diamonds and love and romance. It had an elaborate proposal scene in it. I hoped Dickie was planning something more romantic than his proposal for the upcoming weekend.

"Joe, did you want to have Sophia on Valentine's Day? She's pretty excited to give you your card and gift. My parents are actually going out this year, and I have plans with Dickie."

He sighed and then gave me a sheepish smile. "I have plans too. I didn't even think that Sophia would expect to see me. Shit! I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"Oh." I smiled even though I was dying to know who he was seeing. "That's fine. You can see her the day before or after. She won't care. Do you think your mom will watch her?"

"Oh, I'm sure she'd love to. I'll let her know tomorrow." He looked past me towards her bedroom. "I should have talked to you about it before I made a date," he said dejectedly.

"Joe, you are allowed to have dates," I explained simply. Ugh. Why did that feel like a lie?

"It's just Jessica. It's not that big of a deal."

"Jessica? Are you … um … getting back together with her? I thought that it was just casual. Not that you can't get back together with her. Or whatever. Or um … She seemed really nice. And she had … uh … nice hair. She wasn't necessarily the brightest bulb in the box but that is really none of my business. Maybe you like that. I don't know."

He smiled in amusement. "We're friends … sort of." He winked at me.

"Oh. I see. Is there anyone who you are more than friendly with?" I hoped that sounded as casual as I thought it did.

He smirked at me. "Not so much." I smiled in relief. "But I do have other friends."

I frowned before I could stop myself. "Glad to hear it."

"Are you mad?"

"I'd have to be a pretty selfish hypocrite to expect you to remain celibate while I am getting married."

He barked out a laugh. "You're kidding, right? Celibate? Stephanie, I love sex. I am good at it and I enjoy it … a lot. But I'm not going to be bringing some girl around Sophia if that's what you're worried about. I don't plan on bringing anyone around her unless it's really serious."

I made a stupid little laugh and turned back to the TV.

I think I was going into cardiac arrest. So many things he just said were affecting me way more than they should. First, my heart immediately started racing with his declaration about his love of sex. And then of course there's the whole part about how good he is at it. Not that I can remember well enough to compare. (Utter bullshit. He's good. 'Astronomical', I believe, was the word I had used before. Damn.) But then he threw the whole being in a serious relationship thing at me, and my heart just completely stopped.

Oh God. I was a selfish hypocrite!

Did I really expect him to live out the rest of his days being a perfect father to Sophia and pining away for me as the one who got away while I am making more babies with my rich lawyer husband?

Yes!

No.

Damn it. It didn't sound so good once I actually spelled it out. Maybe he could get married and have his own family. As long as Sophia was still his favorite child and he harbored a secret regret that I had never come back to him. Okay, I could live with that.

I relaxed more into the couch with a contented sigh. I felt eyes on me and looked over at Joe. "What?"

He smirked again. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous? Of Jessica? Umm… no." I did that stupid little laugh again. What the hell was up with that?

He was still smirking. "You shouldn't be. She's just a friend."

"A friend? A friend you practice your amazing sexual abilities with?" I asked shrilly. I couldn't believe I just said that. "Don't answer that. I don't care. Besides, it's not like you're jealous."

His smirk flattened into a thin line. "No, I'm not." He shifted back to face the TV.

.

It was after midnight by the time the movie ended. I had curled up onto the couch and put my feet up by Joe. We hadn't talked much more after the whole 'I like sex' discussion. I briefly wondered if that second beer was too much. I shifted onto my back so I could see Joe better.

"You can sleep here," he said without looking at me.

"On the couch?"

"You can have my bed." He turned off the TV, plunging the room into almost complete darkness, the only light coming from the nightlight in Sophia's den-bedroom.

He grabbed my feet, lifted them up, and placed them on his lap as he shifted closer to me. I squinted in the darkness, but my eyes were still adjusting to the dark.

"I can just stay here, Joe."

His hands were resting on my feet, but one started to trace small circles around the bone of my ankle. I closed my eyes and sighed. His fingers slowly drifted into larger arcs, edging up my calf. I peered through half-closed eyes at him, wondering what he was doing. He was looking at me, and I could see enough to discern that his gaze was less than platonic. Suddenly, something came to life in me that felt a lot like lust. I smiled at him outwardly, but inside my mind was flittering through all the reasons I should just get up and leave.

Joe leaned towards me. "Let me help you to bed." He started to shift, and I watched in strange awe as my hand darted out and grabbed his arm. He froze and then dropped his head. Quietly, he took a few slow breaths. "Tell me to leave."

"No," I breathed.

I loosened my grip on his arm, but just as I was about to pull away, he reached over and grabbed my hand. He turned to me and I felt like he was looking through my soul.

"No," I said slightly more strongly. I wasn't sure if I was refusing his request or if I was stopping what was about to happen.

Joe immediately pulled me up and onto his lap, his hands settling firmly on my hips. His eyes looked almost black in the low light, and I wondered if my face was filled with as much want as his. For a few seconds, we gazed at each other, the only sound coming from my heart pounding loudly in my ears. And then, as if some kind of tether had been cut away, I lunged at him, grabbing his hair roughly and kissing him like his lungs had the air my body needed to survive. Joe moaned into my mouth and I could feel how strongly I was affecting him as I ground into him. Pleasure shot through me, and I spread my legs wider, bringing us even closer to each other, and eliciting another groan from Joe's busy lips.

My body was an inferno of desire. The fire spreading out from deep within me and leaping out, burning every place that our skin touched. Joe's hands were leaving a scorched trail all along my breasts and my back, branding me with his love. His kisses only served as a temporary balm, enough relief to keep me pushing, wanting, taking more and more.

I tilted my head up, giving him access to my throat, and arched my back. I was so close. I could feel the maddening swirl of anticipation building up within me. I rocked into him, and he moaned loudly into my ear. I shifted again, and the darkness began to fade behind my shut eyes. I clenched them tightly against the burning light that felt like it was coming from within me.

So close.

So … so … close.

"Joe," I moaned. I felt one hand pulling at my hip, another on my breast.

"Oh, Cupcake," he gritted out.

The light was almost blinding. Just one more ….

I blinked my eyes. Bright light was flooding into Joe's apartment from the window by the dining table. And Joe's arms were wrapped tightly around me, his body pressed up behind me. His breath was coming fast, and with rhythmic nudges from his hips, a very prominent part of him was prodding me. The warmth of my dream was still blanketed over me, and for a moment I simply enjoyed the feel of him. So close to orgasm, a small voice in my head wondered if I could just finish without waking him.

What the hell! Finish? Finish grinding against Joe in his sleep? What is wrong with me? I am engaged to another man!

Once I cleared my lust-filled mind, I was relieved to discover that we were both still completely dressed. That dream had been way too vivid. I rapidly and carefully untangled myself from his embrace, praying that he stayed asleep. Once I was halfway on the floor, halfway on the couch, Joe reached out in search of my body.

"Cupcake," he murmured. "Come back."

"I'm right here," I said softly as I slid completely onto the floor. I stroked his cheek and he relaxed against the back of the couch. His body seemed to be relaxing everywhere, and I blushed once I realized I had been looking at his crotch. I quickly pulled the couch blanket up over him.

He had said it again. Cupcake. Did he really still think of me that way? Even after he departed, I had considered it sweet, a term of endearment. But other less charitable times, like when Sophia was colicky, I would think it had been just one more way he had manipulated me.

"Not letting you go … mmm … long … me." He smiled peacefully as his breaths steadily evened back out.

I refused to think about what he was trying to say. I belonged to Dickie. Dickie. Dickie. Dickie. I was in love with Dickie.

I AM in love with Dickie!

This confusion was just my teenage wish-filled delusion rearing its ugly head once again. Joe was like a piece of chocolate, totally sinful and delicious on the outside, not so sure what you were going to get on the inside.

I sat on the floor, facing the couch, and watched him sleep. He looked so happy. I brushed the hair from his forehead, and he grabbed my hand, cuddling it to him. He looked so vulnerable. I had never seen him like that. It made me want to take care of him. Shaking those thoughts away, I slipped my hand from his and stood up.

I quietly made my way to Sophia's room and crawled into her bed. It was only a matter of time before she would be waking, and I figured I might as well stay and see her before I needed to leave for work.

.

Joe acted completely normal once Sophia woke us up. Relief that he didn't know what had happened kept me smiling happily throughout breakfast. Sophia was delighted to have us both still with her. She even asked if we could always have sleepovers together.

Joe and I looked at each other across the small table, communicating silently. He scooted his chair back and held his arm out for Sophia. She quickly hopped down from her chair and climbed up onto his lap.

"Mommy didn't mean to sleep over, princess. It was late and she fell asleep on the …" He stopped and looked back over at me. I could see the smallest hint of pink coloring his cheeks. What was that about? Did he remember?

Sophia looked back and forth between us. She was getting older and starting to pick up on the subtle aspects of conversation more and more. It sucked.

"Mommy was in my bed."

Joe hoisted her up a little and smiled at me. "Yep. She went in to see you and just fell right asleep."

"Oh, okay." She leaned her head against his shoulder, but I could see her mind still working through that explanation. We were going to be in trouble if she inherited the intuitiveness of both her parents.

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OoOoO

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I was running late getting to work after I had breakfast at Joe's and then went home to shower and change. I had called Dickie on the drive home, but he didn't answer. He called me back just before I headed into the hospital.

"Hey, honey," I answered.

"Where have you been?" he asked curtly.

"Um … I am just walking into work. Where have you been?"

"Don't turn this around. I came home early and you were not at home. Where have you been?"

"Can we talk about this later? I promise it's nothing."

"Then you can tell me now."

"I was with Sophia … at Joe's. We all watched a movie together." I could hear him make a derisive snort. "I fell asleep on the couch. That's it. Now, I really do have to go. I will call you when I get off work tonight."

He said nothing, but I could hear him breathing heavily.

"Dickie? Please don't turn this into anything. I'm glad you're back. I want to see you tonight. But I do have to go. I love you." I stopped in the hall. I needed to put my stuff away and the reception was terrible within the staff rooms.

"I love you, Stephanie. I only want what is best for us."

"I know."

"I will see you later."

"Bye."

He hung up.

I went into the room and put my purse away. Sitting on the bench by my locker, I felt a huge weight on my chest and I placed my head in my hands. My dream was still bothering me. Maybe it had been that talk about sex. It had to have been. I hadn't thought about Joe like that in years. Not even once since he came back home. Of course I could see how good he looked, but I had already been falling in love with Dickie. Dickie was the only guy I ever dreamed about. It had to have been the beer and the talk. That's what it was. I would never cheat on Dickie. Never. When I had found out Joe had been seeing me behind someone else's back, it about shattered my heart. I could not even begin to imagine how painful it would be to have the person you were completely committed to do that to you. How could you ever trust them again? How could you ever move forward from that?

.

Dickie showed up at the hospital with Sophia when I got off work.

"Mommy!" she belted out as she ran across the lobby.

"Sophie, slow down." I crouched down and embraced her when she made it to my open arms. "What are you doing here?"

"DD picked me up from Daddy's. He said we were all going to a special dinner tonight."

"He did?" I looked up at Dickie and smiled. Maybe he really did let go of our earlier conversation.

"Uh-huh. DD said he missed me. And he had to see me." She grinned at both of us.

"Well, I hope my girls are ready for a good time. Steph, how about we follow you back to the house so you can change?"

"Okay. Sounds good." I stood up and kissed him briefly on the lips. "Thank you."

"I missed you too." He smiled warmly while wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

Once I had freshened up, I was feeling a lot better, and a lot hungry. I ran out to the car, where Dickie and Sophia were waiting. I was surprised when I got in to find that they were listening to one of her kid CDs. I lifted a brow at Dickie and then turned down the boppy music.

"Bug, Mommy and DD are going to talk so I need to turn down the music."

"Okay, Mommy." She clapped her hands and then resumed bouncing and singing along to the music.

Dickie leaned over, whispering his thanks, and kissed my cheek. "I have a surprise."

"Really?"

"Just wait."

I talked about my day at work and Dickie told me about his trip to Dallas for his meeting while we made our way through town. At first, I figured we were eating somewhere in Dickie's neighborhood. But then we turned into his edition and went to his house.

"Sophie, you ready for your surprise?" he asked her through the rear-view mirror as he pulled into his attached garage.

"Yes!"

He jumped out of the car and let her out the back while I went on into the kitchen. I noticed that the kitchen table was set, ready for us to eat.

"We're eating here? Did you cook?"

He laughed. "No. I ordered out, but I thought we needed to start spending time together as a family. And I also did something else."

He smiled broadly and then led Sophia to the front of the house and up the stairs. I followed behind them, wondering what he had done. When we stopped at the first door on the right, I smiled at him. There was a sign on the door that said 'Sophia' in pink letters. Dickie picked her up and pointed to the sign.

"You know what that says?"

"Sophia!" She giggled and then reached out to trace the letters of her name.

"Well, why do you think this door has your name on it?" he asked with a fake expression of confusion.

"I don't know. Open it!" She knocked on the door and leaned towards it, listening for a response. "There's a fairy inside and she says we need to come in!"

We both laughed at that and then I opened the door, revealing a canopy bed, dressed in white, and a new dresser with a matching full-length floor mirror. There were a few toys on the bed, but the room was still fairly empty.

Sophia squirmed to get down, and Dickie placed her on the bed, crouching in front of her. "This is your room, Sophie. This is going to be your room when Mommy and me get married."

She gave us a toothy smile and looked all around her. "Where's Lady and Teddy?"

I sat next to her. "They are still at Grammy and Grampy's house, but when we move in here we can bring all your toys with us. This will be their new home too."

She looked around her again, taking in the room with a curious expression on her face. "Can I have purple walls?"

Dickie stood up. "You can have whatever you want. I didn't want to choose for you so I left it like this, but I hope you like the bed I bought for you."

She looked down and then bounced on it, a mischievous grin on her face.

"Oh no you don't," I said firmly. "If you jump on this bed, I will take it away. You can have a mattress on the floor."

She pouted her lip out. "Okay."

"I love it, Dickie." I grabbed his hand and held it in my lap. This was such a wonderful surprise. We had so few real family moments. "Thank you. And thanks for leaving it for us to decorate. I can't wait to help her pick things out."

He winked. "I figured you would want to do that. Plus, I have no idea what little girls want in their rooms."

Dinner was really fun. Dickie had ordered all kinds of food from his favorite Italian restaurant. It wasn't as good as some of the food Mrs. Morelli would take to Joe's, but Sophia loved being able to try lots of different things. When we finished, Dickie took her to the living room to color while I cleaned up. It made me smile to think how this was going to be our normal routine. I listened to them discussing different coloring options for her Disney Princess book. She sometimes was very particular about using the exact colors from the cartoons.

I joined them and snuggled up on the large sofa with Dickie. It didn't take long before Sophia was drifting off to sleep on the floor in front of us.

Dickie picked her up and started towards the stairs. "I did buy her a nightgown and a tooth brush. I thought she could sleep here tonight."

"Just her? Or do I get to stay too?"

"Oh, I suppose you can stay. Not sure how much sleeping you will be doing though." He laughed.

.

Once we had Sophia changed and tucked in, Dickie led me down the hall to our bedroom. It was finally starting to feel like ours.

Coming up behind me, he slowly peeled my clothes off and kissed my shoulders softly. "You are so beautiful." He turned me to face him and delicately pressed his lips to mine.

I blushed under his intense gaze. "Thank you."

"I can see why he is having such a hard time accepting your choice."

I frowned at him. "What?"

"Joe."

I cringed as I thought about the morning and waking up in Joe's arms. "Did he say something to you when you picked up Sophia?"

"He didn't have to, but yes, he did. He said that he hoped I knew how special you were." He made a disgusted face and walked over to his side of the bed, stripping down to his underwear.

I cautiously climbed into bed next to him. "You have nothing to worry about, Dickie."

"Don't I?" He turned to me, a steely glint in his eyes. "Did you fuck him?"

"What? No!"

"Did you kiss him?"

"No!" I looked down at my hands, twisting the sheet in my lap. Did that kiss in the dream count?

"You look guilty. Don't lie to me, Stephanie. I do it for a living. You won't fool me."

"I'm not lying. I fell asleep on the couch. Nothing happened."

"Where did he sleep?"

I bit my lip.

"I knew it!" He slapped his hand down on the bed between us, causing me to jump. "He wants you back, Stephanie. And I am not going to allow him to worm his way back into your heart."

"He can't!" I insisted. "And he has never said one word to me about wanting me back. I really don't think he does."

"I know that look, Stephanie. He looked like a man in love when he was telling ME to take care of YOU."

I frowned at that revelation. There was no way that was true. I wasn't one hundred percent sure Joe ever loved me, no matter what he believed now. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I didn't know Joe was … next to me until I woke up."

"You are not going to stay over there ever again."

"I won't. I promise."

He tilted his head. "I mean it. You can drop her off and pick her up, but you will not be spending any more time together with him."

"Wait. I thought you meant sleeping over –"

"Of course I meant sleeping over there! And anything else." He crossed his arms. "I can't compete with him, Stephanie. And I refuse to let it come to that. You will not give him the chance to try to take you away. I love you, I love you so much. Can't you see that?"

"And I love you." I sat up on my knees. "I'm in love with you, Dickie." I pulled his arms open and climbed onto him. "Why would you think that there is any competition?"

"You have a child with him," he said softly. "No matter how much I love Sophie, she will always be his. And don't tell me that there isn't a part of you that doesn't wonder if it wouldn't be better for her to have the two of you together. I know he thinks so."

"I am planning on having children with you, Dickie. And you have known Sophia longer than Joe has. You are both equally important to her." I wondered about how true that was as soon as I said it.

He huffed. "When? When you're closer to thirty?"

I took his hands into mine. "No."

"Do you love me, Stephanie?" he asked seriously, his thumb slowly rotating my ring back and forth on my finger.

"Yes, I love you."

"Do you? Do you care that I want a family? Do you care that I need your support too?"

"Yes, of course. I love that you want a family with me. I can't wait to share that with you."

"That's not true, Stephanie." He sighed heavily. "That's not what you said before."

I took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in my throat. "That's not what I'm saying now."

He finally looked me in the eyes. He had such a look of hope on his face. He cupped my cheeks. "What are you saying?"

"I …" Oh shit. What was I saying?

"That's what I thought." He looked up, a bitter smile on his face. "You don't really love me. God, I'm such a fool. Why we are even getting –"

"No! I want to do it. Let's have a baby. We don't need to wait."

His hands slowly moved up my arms, and then he pulled me to his chest. "Are you sure?"

I nodded my head, unsure if my voice would stay steady enough to convince him. Or me.

"I love you so much." He started kissing my neck and then his hands drifted down between us, working their way into my panties. "Make love to me."

I clenched my eyes shut as I felt a wave of tears hit me. I think I was terrified of what I had agreed to do. But I loved him. And I wanted him to know that above all things. And maybe it would make us stronger, sharing a child together.

Dickie made quick work of our underwear and then flipped me beneath him. He traced a finger down my cheek once he was settled between my legs. "Let's start trying now."

"I'm on the pill," I said stupidly, my mind reeling from this sudden turn of events.

"Stop taking it."

"But the wedding –"

"Is in three months. Who knows how long it will take us to conceive?"

I nodded my head, thinking about how it only took Joe and me one night. "Okay. I'll stop taking them."

He captured my lips as he pushed into me. I focused on how much happiness was in his eyes as he moved above me. I could do this. For my husband. I wanted this, maybe not so soon, but what would it really matter in the end?

.

OoOoO

.

Dickie was super sweet the next morning, but just before he left, he reminded to stop taking the pill. I smiled and rolled my eyes, but inside I was freaking out. I wasn't sure what the hell I was thinking to agree to that. No. I knew exactly what I was thinking. I was feeling guilty about my dream. My sex dream with Joe. Never in a million years would I be telling Dickie about that.

And with that in mind, I called Joe to talk to him about us, I suppose. I really was dreading the whole thing. I just knew he would overreact to anything I had to say about Dickie. I planned on making it my problem. Maybe if I blamed myself for staying over, he wouldn't take it the wrong way. Maybe.

He picked up pretty quickly and my chance to come up with another reason to call was gone.

"Hey, Steph. I only have a few minutes before I need to leave."

"No problem. This won't take long."

"Okay."

"I am really sorry about the other night. About falling asleep at your apartment."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I .. uh… I should have moved you to the bedroom."

My mouth dropped. So he chose to stay with me! This was why I had to agree with Dickie about putting more space between us. "Why didn't you move to the bedroom?"

He was silent for so long, I looked at my phone to make sure the call had not been dropped.

"You're right. I knew you had fallen asleep, and I … I swear I didn't intend on staying on the couch, but I didn't leave either when I was starting to drift off."

I furrowed my brows at his revelation. "And were you unconscious when you laid down behind me and wrapped me in your arms?"

"Stephanie." He sighed. "You know the answer to that."

"What are you trying to prove?"

"Nothing. I just wanted … I wanted to be with you."

"Joe, I don't know what to do with that. But … I can't stay over there ever again. And I think it would be best if we spent less time together. Sophia is perfectly comfortable around you. She doesn't need me there as a buffer."

He was silent again, so I continued, "And it's not fair to Dickie for me to continue to drop plans with him for you." I could hear him mumble something under his breath. "What?"

"I never asked you to drop plans with him."

"No, but I have. And I just wanted you to know that it won't be happening anymore. Really, there's no reason for it to happen because we do not need to be doing things together."

"So he says jump and you say how high?"

"Joe, my relationship with Dickie is none of your business. He is good to me and to Sophia. He will be my husband. In a committed relationship, you have to be willing to make compromises. Maybe some day you will be ready for one too."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I think it's pretty clear. And although I do appreciate that you will not be bringing Sophia around any of your friends, you did admit to having several women that you have casual sex with."

"I can't believe you." He huffed. "I have done nothing but step up to the plate when it comes to you and Sophia. And because I'm not ready to settle down, I'm what? A man-whore?"

"I didn't say that. I just meant that you are in a different place in your life than I am. You just said you're not ready to settle down." I could hear him groan in frustration. "So I don't think it's fair of you to judge my relationship with Dickie."

"Dickie," he said darkly. "You know what, Steph? You're absolutely right. I don't know what it means to love someone like that. After all, I never really have been in love."

I blinked rapidly, thankful he couldn't see me. Even though I had been telling myself for years that Joe never really loved me, it still hurt to finally have him admit it. I swallowed a few times, trying to relieve the tension in my throat. "I know. And I hope you get to have that some day, Joe."

He laughed forcefully. "Of course you do. I gotta go. I guess I won't be seeing you. Goodbye." He slammed the phone down, causing me to jump.

"Goodbye," I said softly.

I almost threw my phone against the wall. Why was he making this so hard? Why couldn't he just … I had no idea what I wanted from him. I just didn't want that. But I believed in what I had said. I had to put Dickie first.

.

I told Mom that Dickie had pretty much laid the law down about me not seeing Joe. She wasn't too sure what to do with that information until I explained that I would be relying on her to keep up communications with Joe. At least until the wedding. I hoped by then Dickie would feel less insecure about Joe being in our lives, and we could all return to a normal co-parenting relationship.

Turned out, I didn't need to worry. Joe pretty much stopped calling my cell phone all-together, calling the house to leave messages or for very brief conversations about who was taking Sophia and when. He only called my cell one time when he didn't have Sophia, but I didn't answer. Still, I wasn't able to completely ignore him. We did see each other when I brought Sophia to him or he came to get her. But I noticed that he started letting her out of his car in my parents drive and simply watched her make her way to me at the front door. I tried smiling at him, but he wouldn't even make eye contact with me. His extreme reaction to my request was starting to piss me off. Clearly, whatever feelings he thought he had for me were based on us being Sophia's parents. And he obviously didn't like Dickie.

Well, he would have to just get over it. I was going to marry Dickie, and Joe was going to have to accept that Sophia was going to have two fathers in her life.

.

.

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Well, there you have it. I know you probably hate where this is headed. But trust me. I don't like Dickie either. So what are your thoughts on Joe's friends? Dickie's baby plans? Let me know!

Thanks for reading, if you're still out there. :)